"Lord have mercy."
Know that where there is life, there is hope. The only way we can lose is if we give up and surrender to despair. And even in our hopelessness, if we but cast ourselves at the foot of the Cross and pray "Lord have mercy," then in God's perfect time we will see light, hope, and joy once again.
I too have been in the depths of despair and despondency. Every Christian principle and every Bible verse I knew seemed to be of no comfort. All I could do is cry out and ask, "Where are you God? Why have you forsaken me?" And then I would feel even worse, for I dared to ask the same question that Our Lord asked on the Cross. So I descended deeper into misery and doubt.
All I know is that God is good, for I am here today, stronger and with my faith intact. But I now that I could easily find myself in the same state of doubt tomorrow. Life is so full of pain and struggle. We cannot make any sense of it at times.
I just want you to know that all that is required of you in times like these is to rest in the mercy of Our Lord Jesus Christ. In times like these, it matters not what others think about you or what others expect and demand of you. Simply rest at the foot of the Cross and fall into Our Lord's arms of unconditional love. He knows what you are going through, and He shall neither leave you nor forsake you.
Peace to you.