Author Topic: Female Altar Servers??  (Read 20219 times)

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #315 on: September 20, 2013, 08:41:28 AM »
This thread has taken a fantastic turn for the better.  ;D

Geekery is like bacon - makes everything better.
Are you saying that crisply fried and crumbled geeks make salad taste better?  Oh, the humanity!
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #316 on: September 20, 2013, 08:57:13 AM »
Please don't talk about bacon on Friday.  :'(
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #317 on: September 20, 2013, 08:58:06 AM »
Please don't talk about bacon on Friday.  :'(
Should I talk about boobs then?
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Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #318 on: September 20, 2013, 09:02:30 AM »
Please don't talk about bacon on Friday.  :'(
Should I talk about boobs then?
No.  Save that for tomorrow night.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #319 on: September 20, 2013, 09:03:12 AM »
Please don't talk about bacon on Friday.  :'(
Should I talk about boobs then?
No.  Save that for tomorrow night.
Yes, Helpmeet Helena will be at Vigil.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2013, 09:03:25 AM by hecma925 »
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #320 on: September 20, 2013, 09:04:13 AM »
Who is Helpmeet Helena? 
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Offline Orthodox11

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #321 on: September 20, 2013, 09:05:44 AM »
Who is Helpmeet Helena? 

Hyperdox Herman's less popular female counterpart.

Offline TheTrisagion

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #322 on: September 20, 2013, 09:08:57 AM »
Will we all have to prove our Orthodoxy by adopting St Nicholas avatars now?

Offline LBK

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #323 on: September 20, 2013, 09:09:27 AM »
Who is Helpmeet Helena? 

She's a female version (sort of) of Hyperdox Herman. There should be a few memes of her rattling around somewhere.

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,18865.msg876528.html#msg876528

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #324 on: September 20, 2013, 09:11:09 AM »
I'm sorry I asked.  Please, let us talk about bacon again. 
"Do not tempt the Mor thy Mod."

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Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #325 on: September 20, 2013, 09:14:28 AM »
I'm sorry I asked.  Please, let us talk about bacon again. 

No, no, no.  Just respecting your wishes.  :laugh:  besides, we were talking about fried and crumbled geeks, not bacon.  Cannibalism, you see.
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Offline Arachne

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #326 on: September 20, 2013, 09:19:07 AM »
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #327 on: September 20, 2013, 09:20:20 AM »
I love owls.
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #328 on: September 20, 2013, 09:20:42 AM »
Please don't talk about bacon on Friday.  :'(
Should I talk about boobs then?
No.  Save that for tomorrow night.


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Offline stanley123

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #329 on: September 20, 2013, 11:25:58 AM »

Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #330 on: September 20, 2013, 11:41:24 AM »
Come to Vigil, she'll be there.
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #331 on: September 20, 2013, 11:49:02 AM »
I love owls.

??? A booby is a seabird in the genus Sula, part of the Sulidae family. Boobies are closely related to the gannets (Morus), which were formerly included in Sula. So says Wikipedia!

Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #332 on: September 20, 2013, 11:51:46 AM »
I love owls.

??? A booby is a seabird in the genus Sula, part of the Sulidae family. Boobies are closely related to the gannets (Morus), which were formerly included in Sula. So says Wikipedia!

Owls are hooters.  Hooters is also a restaurant chain that is delightfully tacky.
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #333 on: September 20, 2013, 12:02:30 PM »
I love owls.

??? A booby is a seabird in the genus Sula, part of the Sulidae family. Boobies are closely related to the gannets (Morus), which were formerly included in Sula. So says Wikipedia!

Owls are hooters.  Hooters is also a restaurant chain that is delightfully tacky.

hoot·er   (htr)
n.
1. One that hoots, especially an owl.

Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #334 on: September 20, 2013, 12:09:34 PM »
A pair of Great Tits.
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #336 on: September 20, 2013, 01:21:23 PM »
Guys! The bell just rang! We gotta get back to class before we are tardy...

Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #337 on: September 20, 2013, 01:29:21 PM »
Guys! The bell just rang! We gotta get back to class before we are tardy...

Oh no!  Where's my Trapper Keeper?  I may need to get a tardy slip.  :(  Ms. Sims will not be happy.
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Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #338 on: September 20, 2013, 01:33:26 PM »

...and this is another reason why girls should not be in the altar....having to deal with such immaturity.   ;)
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Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #339 on: September 20, 2013, 01:35:03 PM »

...and this is another reason why girls should not be in the altar....having to deal with such immaturity.   ;)

I'm pretty sure the Fathers spoke of this long ago and wrote it on the desert hermitage equivalent of a Post-It note.  Just waiting for it to be found for confirmation.
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #340 on: September 20, 2013, 01:51:02 PM »

...and this is another reason why girls should not be in the altar....having to deal with such immaturity.   ;)

Well, if you hear RC stories about the conduct of altar girls, the grass really isn't greener...
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #341 on: September 20, 2013, 01:57:12 PM »


....and we haven't even touched on boys' favorite topic number two......flatulence..... >:(

(Sorry, I couldn't resist....)
« Last Edit: September 20, 2013, 01:58:29 PM by podkarpatska »

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #342 on: September 20, 2013, 01:58:11 PM »

LOL!  ;D
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #343 on: September 20, 2013, 04:07:26 PM »

Why should we look for a third option?

Because male altar servers end up not being model citizens?
No, because the male altar server Stanley is talking about already showed himself an unrepentant atheist foul mouthed drug dealer. He spoke of what an adult male altar server had already become, while you appear focused on what a child male altar server may grow up to be.

In essence, you provided in your rebuttal a third option: the male altar server who keeps the Faith and keeps himself morally pure. ;)
« Last Edit: September 20, 2013, 04:08:13 PM by PeterTheAleut »
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #344 on: September 20, 2013, 06:59:13 PM »


....and we haven't even touched on boys' favorite topic number two......flatulence..... >:(

(Sorry, I couldn't resist....)

.... and its equally gaseous twin, burping.  ;D
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Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #345 on: September 20, 2013, 07:10:52 PM »
I'm sorry I asked.  Please, let us talk about bacon again. 

No, no, no.  Just respecting your wishes.  :laugh:  besides, we were talking about fried and crumbled geeks, not bacon.  Cannibalism, you see.

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #346 on: September 20, 2013, 07:12:50 PM »

...and this is another reason why girls should not be in the altar....having to deal with such immaturity.   ;)

Yes. The giggle-fest is best kept in the nave.
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Offline William

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #347 on: September 20, 2013, 08:39:32 PM »
I guess we could just stick to the traditional practice instead of arguing about why sponges are allowed in the altar.
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Offline William

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #348 on: September 20, 2013, 08:41:29 PM »
Wow, you guys really do just make every single thread out there really weird. I didn't come here to read middle aged men slobber over women, I came to read outrage about sponges and leather shoes.
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #349 on: September 20, 2013, 08:43:21 PM »
Wow, you guys really do just make every single thread out there really weird. I didn't come here to read middle aged men slobber over women, I came to read outrage about sponges and leather shoes.
Well, fortunately for you, you can get both in this thread.  It's a special bonus that we throw in.
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #350 on: September 20, 2013, 10:41:23 PM »
I have a story about the "no animal products at the altar" rule:

Some years ago, my priest was visiting a Coptic church where he came across a kind of incense with a really beautiful smell.  The name of it was "gold musk," and he later asked me if I could track it down for him, since I run the church bookstore.

So I did a search and found it at a place called Cal-Hellas, in Cuppertino, CA.  After I found it, I wondered what the word "musk" referred to.  So I looked it up on the internet and read something that led me to believe that it came from a dear that's been killed.

Immediately, I thought of Bambi and his mother.  I was really disturbed by the thought of a poor dear being killed to make incense.  So I called the guy at Cal-Hellas back and asked him about it.  Upon hearing my concern, he laughed.  I can't recall his exact explanation of what the "musk" in the incense was, but he assured me that no deer was used in its making.  And as part of the explanation, he told me that if it came from a deer, it wouldn't be allowed at the altar, since animal products are not allowed there.

Now this guy is Eastern Orthodox, so I assume the rule about no animal products must apply to EO Churches too.  It's not just an OO thing.   :)


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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #351 on: September 20, 2013, 10:47:36 PM »
I have a story about the "no animal products at the altar" rule:

Some years ago, my priest was visiting a Coptic church where he came across a kind of incense with a really beautiful smell.  The name of it was "gold musk," and he later asked me if I could track it down for him, since I run the church bookstore.

So I did a search and found it at a place called Cal-Hellas, in Cuppertino, CA.  After I found it, I wondered what the word "musk" referred to.  So I looked it up on the internet and read something that led me to believe that it came from a dear that's been killed.

Immediately, I thought of Bambi and his mother.  I was really disturbed by the thought of a poor dear being killed to make incense.  So I called the guy at Cal-Hellas back and asked him about it.  Upon hearing my concern, he laughed.  I can't recall his exact explanation of what the "musk" in the incense was, but he assured me that no deer was used in its making.  And as part of the explanation, he told me that if it came from a deer, it wouldn't be allowed at the altar, since animal products are not allowed there.

Now this guy is Eastern Orthodox, so I assume the rule about no animal products must apply to EO Churches too.  It's not just an OO thing.   :)



Musky fragrances are found in certain plants as well as from animal sources. There is also synthetic musk, which is commonly used to add fragrance to all sorts of consumer goods, such as detergents and soap. So the musky incense need not have been made with animal-sourced musk.  :)
« Last Edit: September 20, 2013, 10:48:44 PM by LBK »
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Offline Salpy

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #352 on: September 20, 2013, 10:54:40 PM »
Well, for Bambi's sake I'm glad.   :)

Offline Romaios

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #353 on: September 20, 2013, 11:08:50 PM »
Well, for Bambi's sake I'm glad.   :)

This would have been Bambi with fangs... 


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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #354 on: September 20, 2013, 11:42:56 PM »

Why should we look for a third option?

Because male altar servers end up not being model citizens?
No, because the male altar server Stanley is talking about already showed himself an unrepentant atheist foul mouthed drug dealer. He spoke of what an adult male altar server had already become, while you appear focused on what a child male altar server may grow up to be.

In essence, you provided in your rebuttal a third option: the male altar server who keeps the Faith and keeps himself morally pure. ;)
I only brought it up because someone mentioned something about an atheist male server and something about  drugs.  If something like that did occur, I question why it would not be  pleasing to God to have had a saintly nun serve at the altar?
Of course, there are atheists of good character and who act to incorporate Christian ideals in their daily lives. Perhaps these good practices and study have spiritual benefits which may lead them to conclude the God is the source of morality and thereby renounce atheism. 

Offline hecma925

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #355 on: September 21, 2013, 10:21:15 AM »
Wow, you guys really do just make every single thread out there really weird. I didn't come here to read middle aged men slobber over women, I came to read outrage about sponges and leather shoes.

Sponges and leather.  Kinky.
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #356 on: September 21, 2013, 10:29:17 AM »
Wow, you guys really do just make every single thread out there really weird. I didn't come here to read middle aged men slobber over women, I came to read outrage about sponges and leather shoes.

Sponges and leather.  Kinky.

Sponges definitely have a chequered past. See origins of the expression 'getting the wrong end of the stick'.
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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #357 on: September 21, 2013, 10:40:11 AM »
Well, for Bambi's sake I'm glad.   :)

This would have been Bambi with fangs... 



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Offline ilyazhito

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #358 on: September 21, 2013, 12:19:47 PM »
This thread has gotten WAAAY off topic. I think that female altar servers are not acceptable, because the only men who were allowed into the altar were minor-order clerics such as taper-bearers and higher. Each man would thus be a current or potential clergyman. Because women cannot be elevated to higher orders, then they are not allowed to be ordained in the previous orders. It is like attempting to register in a higher-level physics class without having taken the prerequisites, it can't be done.

Offline Shanghaiski

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Re: Female Altar Servers??
« Reply #359 on: September 21, 2013, 12:24:57 PM »
I have a story about the "no animal products at the altar" rule:

Some years ago, my priest was visiting a Coptic church where he came across a kind of incense with a really beautiful smell.  The name of it was "gold musk," and he later asked me if I could track it down for him, since I run the church bookstore.

So I did a search and found it at a place called Cal-Hellas, in Cuppertino, CA.  After I found it, I wondered what the word "musk" referred to.  So I looked it up on the internet and read something that led me to believe that it came from a dear that's been killed.

Immediately, I thought of Bambi and his mother.  I was really disturbed by the thought of a poor dear being killed to make incense.  So I called the guy at Cal-Hellas back and asked him about it.  Upon hearing my concern, he laughed.  I can't recall his exact explanation of what the "musk" in the incense was, but he assured me that no deer was used in its making.  And as part of the explanation, he told me that if it came from a deer, it wouldn't be allowed at the altar, since animal products are not allowed there.

Now this guy is Eastern Orthodox, so I assume the rule about no animal products must apply to EO Churches too.  It's not just an OO thing.   :)



The Russian lestovka prayer rope used from ancient times till the mid 19th century (even by St. Seraphim) was made of leather. Holy books were bound in leather. That's different from an offering like incense or candles, though, but they could still be in the altar.
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