Greetings to my Father(s), brothers and sisters,
I'm usually late with the threads (not only my clothing) and posts, because I'm a little slow. I just wanted to give my opinion and point of view on this subject—a very important one.
I can't claim to be a theologian and won't go into the realm of one, but when I analyzed the controversy of Chalcedon, it seems like a dispute over jurisdictional authorities, mixed with politics and linguistical differences (at first sight).
To me, the theology is the same, because Chalcedon was revisted several years later (after 451 AD) and there were corrections made to the statements that seemed ambiguous and phrases added that did not seem to support the Declaration of Faith of the 1st Council of Ephesus. Therefore, the Declaration of Chalcedon (Revised) agrees with our beloved Father and Saint Cyril I of Alexandria and his formula. If there was a bad-taste or an ill sentiment toward the Chalcedonian Council of 451 AD, because of crypto-Nestorianism, it was corrected some years later. Many of our Orthodox fathers today, both Eastern and Oriental may beg to differ.
Unfortunately, some to a lot of animosity has trickled down from the the initial dispute, without the knowledge or rememberance of the revisions and some early, post-Chalcedonian agreements between the Churches, leaving 'anathemas' all over the place between both. For example, there was a time when the Churches presently known as Oriental Orthodox Churches were attributed as the Lesser-Eastern Orthodox Churches. For example, the term Oriental Orthodox Churches was officially accepted in the mid-1960's during a meeting with (the) said group of Churches. On the other hand, many Oriental Orthodox members referred to Eastern Orthodox Churches as melkites and as we may also know, the Melkite Churches today are proud to exist as who they are...
I believe that misinformation continues until now, because we Oriental Orthodox are still dubbed as monophysites by some and in turn, we consider the Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholics and Melkites—dyophysites. We need to pray and to study with love, especially as Orthodox Christians, because we are supposed to be proclaiming the 'true glory' and original teaching of the Christian Church. It is terrible to hear about or to witness the lack of teaching to catechumens, or to witness them being taught a form of fanaticism.
In conclusion, I suggest that you chose an Orthodox Church that you are comfortable within (as several of the members mentioned) and an Orthodox Church that practically teaches Christ undivided, with the hope for unity (especially amongst Orthodox Churches). As a convert to Orthodox Christianity, there will always be challenges, for the mere fact that you desire to be Christian! Along with this, there are challenges that you will face as you suffer with Christ, whether in the Divine Liturgy, the Community or at home.
Your struggle with the ethnic congregants and feeling alienated is one shared by many. Not to downplay your hardships, but it is not new, rather ancient. Eventually, you will be one of those Christians that contributed to evangelizing to potential Orthodox converts through your persistence and gracious desire to worship in the Orthodox Church.
I apologize for rambling and please pray for me...