Author Topic: Orthodox Dating  (Read 2265 times)

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Offline Hamartolos

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Orthodox Dating
« on: August 08, 2009, 07:30:15 PM »
A thousand pardons if this is not the correct forum for this discussion.

I have heard that it is a common in the tradition of Orthodoxy to be set up by your priest or something of that nature.  Granted, it is highly probable that I am blatantly wrong, however, is this something that is common? 


P.S. I'm not a desperate man or something, I just was curious as I live in a highly Catholic population...although I'm sure the Lord would help me convince "the one" to come over to the winning team.  ;D

Offline Simayan

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2009, 07:38:57 PM »
While my priest DID attempt to set me up once (Lol), it hasn't happened since, and I'm not sure how common it is.

IMO, date whomever and worry about the conversation later.  :D
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Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2009, 07:41:53 PM »
Thank you for giving me some peace of mind Simayan!!   :laugh: :)

Offline Heorhij

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2009, 08:37:33 PM »
Date who you like, hope you will find your true love! And then your priest will bless your marriage. That's his only role. Any other things are none of his business.
Love never fails.

Offline Entscheidungsproblem

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2009, 08:49:40 PM »
Date who you like, hope you will find your true love! And then your priest will bless your marriage. That's his only role. Any other things are none of his business.

Well said.
As a result of a thousand million years of evolution, the universe is becoming conscious of itself, able to understand something of its past history and its possible future.
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Offline John of the North

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2009, 10:24:10 PM »
Date who you like, hope you will find your true love! And then your priest will bless your marriage. That's his only role. Any other things are none of his business.

I disagree. Your priest is responsible for your spiritual welfare, and who you date is a part of that. You are not forced to follow his guidance, but to claim that it is not his business, is inaccurate.
"Christianity is not a philosophy, not a doctrine, but life." - Elder Sophrony (Sakharov)

Offline mersch

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2009, 10:55:38 PM »
I'm going to go on a few assumptions here. You're probably younger (than me), and have never been married before( which is a good thing). Don't rush it, talk to your spiritual father about things when you do find someone whom you would like to be "the one".  If you think you found the "one", and love them madly, remember, love is an ACTION verb till death do you part, or should be. Those mushy feelings can get in the way of action, which must be done every day, every minute. Those mushy feelings can dipensate over time.  Are you willing to water where you decided to plant, the grass isn't always greener on the other side, ( usually if it is, someone isn't "watering"- praying, doing, acting, talking, showing). Do not be in a hurry, seek God first and always, it will save a lot of brown patches in the future, understand that now, not try to understand after you've found the "one".  Are you now watering you're family relationships now? Even that mean old uncle? cousin? neighbor? brother? sister? Mother? Father? And on and on?Is God first in your life before everything else? If not, then it can make things difficult later down the road. Just my 2 cents, (from how not to do it, but then I seem to learn things the hard way sometimes, wish I had listened and acted upon what  I had heard early on.)

Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2009, 11:06:16 PM »
Thanks mersch.  You make really good points.  Wanting a spiritual life in this era makes dating quite difficult.  Sure, being attracted to someone and even having a good report feels good, but deep down if they have no interest in matters of faith it will be fruitless.  The closer I get to Orthodoxy, the closer I feel to God and the easier it is to trust in him.  Finding a love is very important and can deeply affect ones spirituality. 

P.S.  I HATE saying "the one"...but I couldn't think of a better word at the time.   :laugh:

Offline Catherine

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2009, 11:13:55 PM »
Date who you like, hope you will find your true love! And then your priest will bless your marriage. That's his only role. Any other things are none of his business.

I disagree. Your priest is responsible for your spiritual welfare, and who you date is a part of that. You are not forced to follow his guidance, but to claim that it is not his business, is inaccurate.

This makes sense to me. . my priest is not only my priest, but my trustworthy friend - this is not unusual, surely?
« Last Edit: August 08, 2009, 11:15:09 PM by Catherine »

Offline LizaSymonenko

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2009, 09:59:39 AM »

I actually have gotten "set up" by a couple of different priests.  Unfortunately, neither gentleman was "the one".

Since we don't have a "baba network" where all the elderly women know of all the eligible people....we turned to the priest.

After all, he knows the parishioners better than anyone.  He knows you.  He knows what you are like, and he knows who else is not only single, but, what that person is like.  He can "guess-timate" if they might be a match.

If he knows you are an outdoors person, he would suggest someone he knows likes to go camping, etc.

I trust my priest enough to know that if he thought that gentleman was a "match", I could at least go out with him and not be so unsure of what I was getting.

Needless to say, the priest is not just their to perform the marriage ceremony.  He is there to advise you on every step of your life.

Remember, he hears your confessions, and therefore, knows you even better than your own mother.
 ;)

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Offline Schultz

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2009, 10:51:33 AM »
Date who you like, hope you will find your true love! And then your priest will bless your marriage. That's his only role. Any other things are none of his business.

I think this largely has to do with the relationship one has with one's priest.  If the man is cold and distant to you, then yes, it probably is none of his business to a large degree.  However, if one has a close relationship with one's priest and one chooses to find a mate within the  limits of one's own parish family, then it most certainly can be his business.  It might not be de facto his business, but I would not go so far to say that marrying people is his only role.
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Offline LBK

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2009, 08:44:21 PM »
To be honest, having had lifelong experience in both Greek and Slavic "flavors" of Orthodoxy, over several parishes, I've yet to come across too many (any?) instances of a priest acting as some sort of matchmaker. In my considerable life, I've come to the firm conclusion that there is such a thing as fate/act of God/act of the Mother of God which leads two people to get together, marry, and live a happy life together. I could relate some of these instances (including my own situation, and those of several family members), but space and time does not permit.
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Offline Ortho_cat

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2009, 11:59:43 PM »
...

I have heard that it is a common in the tradition of Orthodoxy to be set up by your priest or something of that nature.  Granted, it is highly probable that I am blatantly wrong, however, is this something that is common? 

 ...

Nice! I haven't heard that... ;D

Offline katherineofdixie

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2009, 09:36:54 AM »
To be honest, having had lifelong experience in both Greek and Slavic "flavors" of Orthodoxy, over several parishes, I've yet to come across too many (any?) instances of a priest acting as some sort of matchmaker. In my considerable life, I've come to the firm conclusion that there is such a thing as fate/act of God/act of the Mother of God which leads two people to get together, marry, and live a happy life together. I could relate some of these instances (including my own situation, and those of several family members), but space and time does not permit.


I know several priests and at least one bishop, both GOA and OCA, who have told me that they consider it part of their ministry to the Faithful to introduce people who they think might have something in common or who would enjoy each other's company (with a view to marriage later on). Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't, just like when your friends introduce you to other friends.
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Offline mersch

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #14 on: August 12, 2009, 11:23:48 AM »
Thanks mersch.  You make really good points.  Wanting a spiritual life in this era makes dating quite difficult.  Sure, being attracted to someone and even having a good report feels good, but deep down if they have no interest in matters of faith it will be fruitless.  The closer I get to Orthodoxy, the closer I feel to God and the easier it is to trust in him.  Finding a love is very important and can deeply affect ones spirituality. 

P.S.  I HATE saying "the one"...but I couldn't think of a better word at the time.   :laugh:

 when I say the "one: it just means the one you're going to marry or want to, dont like that pharsing either, but used it to get my point across.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2009, 11:25:19 AM by mersch »

Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Orthodox Dating
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2009, 05:38:29 PM »
Yeah I know what you're saying.  It just is too romancey for a bachelor like myself!   ;D