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Author Topic: Question for Men  (Read 19158 times) Average Rating: 0
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Douglas
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« Reply #135 on: August 12, 2009, 11:03:08 AM »

You're a riot, Liza.  Cheesy
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« Reply #136 on: August 12, 2009, 11:07:40 AM »

You must visit Great Britain, Rosehip. You would be most welcome (I have only had one bad experience with an English man). True English gentlemen value politeness; they strive to keep proper form toward other people, at all times. I rather enjoy their dry humor also. Some English men might be serious adulterers, but they do it in a polite and correct maner. Grin Tally-ho. . .


Ha! So is this guy!

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« Reply #137 on: August 12, 2009, 11:42:52 AM »

Ah - makes me proud to be British!   Smiley
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« Reply #138 on: August 12, 2009, 12:45:03 PM »

Rosehip,

I think you might have better luck at finding a husband in an Antiochian Orthodox parish that has many men who are new to the faith. The men I have encountered in the parish I now attend are intelligent gentleman and very faithful to their wives. These men are some of the most ethical and kind men I have ever met in my life. Many come from an evangelical background but not all. Some are former Episcopalians and Roman Catholics. They all make Orthodoxy the centerpiece of their lives. Recently, while traveling, I met some men from another Antiochian Orthodox parish across the country who are very similar to the men in my parish. You may be able to find the same quality of man in an OCA parish which has many who are new to the faith. Just another idea.

Tamara
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Rosehip
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« Reply #139 on: August 12, 2009, 12:53:48 PM »

Tamara,

Thanks for the advice, but I don't think there is an Antiochian church anywhere close to me. There is an OCA church, but it consists of mostly new Russian immigrants, and most of the these people are all married with children.

And I've been on so many dating sites and went out with scores of men. Most men seem mostly interested in watching TV, sports, poker, racing, and other things which are completely foreign to me. I know Douglas doesn't like generalizations, but then he wasn't single for 40 years of his life and hasn't had the same experiences I've had. I'm not good at lying, so my experiences with men are unfortunately all true. The closest I came to finding a man whom I thought shared many of my interests turned out to be a pathological liar, drunkard, and despite all these terrible qualities, already is with yet another woman. Yet an honest, sincere, caring woman is never good enough for any man.
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+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +
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« Reply #140 on: August 12, 2009, 01:47:19 PM »

I know Douglas doesn't like generalizations, but then he wasn't single for 40 years of his life and hasn't had the same experiences I've had. I'm not good at lying, so my experiences with men are unfortunately all true. The closest I came to finding a man whom I thought shared many of my interests turned out to be a pathological liar, drunkard, and despite all these terrible qualities, already is with yet another woman. Yet an honest, sincere, caring woman is never good enough for any man.

Dear Rosehip,

In my dating life, I found myself attracted to women who needed various degrees of help, some more than others.  I was not directly able to help them all; however, indirectly, I feel I've had some impact on their lives.

I'm sure you are truly honest, sincere and caring, which is perfectly fine.  A woman from my past was also very honest, sincere and caring except that her immaturity negated all these positive qualities.

In the 1980's, a niece of my father's wanted to marry an American man, to the chagrin of her traditional family.  When the niece came to my father for advice about marriage, he told her a very simple and powerful reply which is roughly translated from the Greek as "do what the majority does."  As an example, if you wear headdresses and very few people do, perhaps the time has come to take off the headdress.

Just as I was finding myself attracted to women who needed help, the pathological liars, drunkards and adulterers are attracted to you because these men see that you are someone that can be walked over without impunity.  Using the same analogy, women who lie, drink, flirt with other men and own pets are not attracted to me because I will not tolerate these behaviors from the start.

To complete this post, I was scared to death of having any roommate when I was entering college.  I prayed under my breath asking the Lord to find me a suitable roommate that I could get along and not have problems.  From that point, I've had my best friend for 18 years, stood in his wedding and seen his children even as he's tremendously busy in academia.  The Lord delivers; however, one has to work and not expect things to be handed to them on a silver platter.

I hope the vignette helped.  I apologize if I offended.  The thread said, "Question for Men" and as a man, I've given the best answer I could.   angel

May the Lord Bless you.

Amen!
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Rosehip
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« Reply #141 on: August 12, 2009, 02:01:27 PM »

Sol,

Thanks for the advice. If you are implying that I wear headdresses this is simply not true. Of course, I do cover my head for church-but so does almost every girl and woman in the parish-including babies.  As far as I can tell, when I go out with men, I dress just like everyone else, if not better. I always wear heels and a dress. There are certain commonly-accepted behaviours, such as sleeping around etc. which I simply WILL NOT do regardless of the standards society sets. I want to honour,love, and esteem my future husband and reserve myself only for him by my behaviour prior to meeting him. I firmly believe in the golden rule of doing as you would be done by.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2009, 02:07:15 PM by Rosehip » Logged

+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +
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« Reply #142 on: August 12, 2009, 02:27:02 PM »

^^ He is very cute!!
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+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +
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« Reply #143 on: August 12, 2009, 04:21:11 PM »

Tamara,

Thanks for the advice, but I don't think there is an Antiochian church anywhere close to me. There is an OCA church, but it consists of mostly new Russian immigrants, and most of the these people are all married with children.

And I've been on so many dating sites and went out with scores of men. Most men seem mostly interested in watching TV, sports, poker, racing, and other things which are completely foreign to me. I know Douglas doesn't like generalizations, but then he wasn't single for 40 years of his life and hasn't had the same experiences I've had. I'm not good at lying, so my experiences with men are unfortunately all true. The closest I came to finding a man whom I thought shared many of my interests turned out to be a pathological liar, drunkard, and despite all these terrible qualities, already is with yet another woman. Yet an honest, sincere, caring woman is never good enough for any man.
Rosehip,

Do you have a Facebook page? Maybe we can put you in direct contact with of the some of these nice guys.

Tamara
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« Reply #144 on: August 12, 2009, 07:31:13 PM »

Let's see if I have this right: Canadian men (many Canadian men that is) have a Peter Pan complex. Russian men are a special group of their own... only preferring Russian women and even Russian women warn others of them. All online searching is dangerous and leads to problems. Generalization after generalization after generalization. Perhaps some of the problems relate directly to "some" of us making sweeping generalizations. Has that ever occurred to any contributors here?

Men (whether Russian, Canadian, American, Swahili, Serbian, Finnish etc etc etc) are men. It's a given that culture and cultural traditions will enter into how men behave BUT the bottom line is: they are NOT all the same and they should NOT all be lumped together as though they were.

As I have read through the comments, I couldn't help but think that if this thread was about "lousy women", there would be a riot! And quite rightly so! I don't believe it's the intention of anyone here to do a sexist number, but it has come very close on several occassions.  Wink

Quote
It's been said countless times in this thread now and it bears repeating. First one must find contentment and peace with oneself. In so doing he/she will exude confidence and THAT quality is certainly a good one in attracting others.

I agree. And of paramount importance, is that we have to remember is that each of us is a flawed human being looking to have a relationship with another flawed human being. None of us are perfect; but many of us can be blessed in accepting the faults of our life-time partner, focusing on the good and forgiving the rest. 
« Last Edit: August 12, 2009, 07:33:58 PM by Riddikulus » Logged

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« Reply #145 on: August 12, 2009, 11:47:05 PM »

Generalizations - agreed. Joshing a bit on the poor old Canadian boys - the fact is many Canadians, male and female alike, are avoiding like crazy the growing up process (I took long enough at it - heck, I'm 36 with a career and two kids and I still have a hard time thinking of myself as an adult). And our men are at least often good-hearted, entertaining sorts and if you are willing to wait a long, long time they will settle down. Yes, more generalizations, but there are cultural norms. But I did speak specifically to Rosehip regarding men because she's looking for men and my experiences are from a woman's perspective.

And regarding Russian men - I have heard many of the same things (although most of the Russian men of our church certainly DO NOT fit the description supplied by Rosehip, although most of them are already married so it doesn't do a single girl much good).

That said, people like Rosehip (and for a period of time, myself) have had experiences that should not be dismissed. Clearly, most men do not fit some of the generalizations thrown about here. But such repeatedly negative experiences are going to colour one's perspective. Let the woman vent a bit please, with gentle assurances (as most have provided) that there are plenty of great male specimens about (and perhaps she knows it deep down in talking to many of you here). She is, however, not managing to stumble across them and she needs to be able to work through this. I've never gotten the impression that she (or most others generalizing here) are stating that all men are turds. She is simply stating that the experiences she has had is giving her a negative impression about a significant cross section of them that she has met through the often painful dating process (yech, I'd never do the dating thing again).

I will repeat though that, from what I have seen, things seem to fall into place if you just stop worrying about it and move on with your life. That's probably not all that reassuring though...
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« Reply #146 on: August 12, 2009, 11:54:34 PM »

... the fact is many Canadians, male and female alike, are avoiding like crazy the growing up process...

I think we humans have the longest maturation process of all the animals.  Here in the West, it seems, we try to draw it out to the Nth degree. LOL
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« Reply #147 on: August 12, 2009, 11:55:48 PM »

Best Mr. Darcy ever?

Oh, crikey. . here I go again. . .definitely!!

Quote
I work with a woman in her early 40's (42 I believe) who also wants to find a husband. We were talking about this the other day and she remarked, "You know... I really hope to meet this man of my dreams some day BUT if I don't... I will still be happy with the life I now live. I'm content in my job and I have several interests that occupy me. Life is still good." I truly believe she is going to meet that special someone because of her attitude more than anything else. And it will happen in good time. But if I'm wrong, evidently she is content with the life with which God has blessed her.

I missed this little gem. . more good advice. Douglas, men often give the best advice. The men I know really listen (well, some of the men I know. .). I am very fortunate to have so many male friends who support me when I need, or want, their support.

A lot of people genuinely love you and care about you, Rosehip. As you know, support from friends makes all the difference. xx.






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« Reply #148 on: August 13, 2009, 02:27:00 AM »

If you make it evident that you consider yourself better than men, that any of their interests and hobbies are stupid and unworthy of you, they are morally bankrupt etc. it is no wonder guys are running the other way.  It seems that you are living in some sort of timewarp of 1950s stereotypes of innocent women and immoral men.  It's very off putting.  Most people have had bad experiences with relationships and dating.  All of the types of things you ascribe to "men" have happened to me, except only from women.  Sitting around and stewing about how corrupt women are probably won't help me.   
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« Reply #149 on: August 13, 2009, 12:03:08 PM »

I split off the discussion about Colin Firth to this thread. Smiley
« Last Edit: August 13, 2009, 12:03:39 PM by EofK » Logged

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« Reply #150 on: August 13, 2009, 12:24:12 PM »

You must visit Great Britain, Rosehip. You would be most welcome (I have only had one bad experience with an English man). True English gentlemen value politeness; they strive to keep proper form toward other people, at all times. I rather enjoy their dry humor also. Some English men might be serious adulterers, but they do it in a polite and correct maner. Grin Tally-ho. . .


Ha! So is this guy!



LOL.  Did you see him on Jay Leno the next day?  Right off the bat Jay opened "what the HELL were you thinking?"  And the signs outside "Hugh, I would have done it for free!"

Wasn't he engaged to a supermodel at the time?
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« Reply #151 on: August 13, 2009, 12:31:24 PM »



Wasn't he engaged to a supermodel at the time?

He was MARRIED to Elizabeth Hurley at the time.
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« Reply #152 on: August 13, 2009, 12:51:38 PM »



Wasn't he engaged to a supermodel at the time?

He was MARRIED to Elizabeth Hurley at the time.

In that case this is my question for men.

http://inyourface.freedomblogging.com/files/2008/05/elizabeth-hurley-111407.jpg

http://por-img.cimcontent.net/api/assets/bin-200905/bc13ee730915809ca0ca3395d9e0cf78.jpg
The happy couple
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if you spit on it, it will be put out;
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« Reply #153 on: August 13, 2009, 12:58:21 PM »

To Grant's credit, he didn't try to excuse it or explain it.  He said he did a bad thing and there it was.  Considering how rare that is among celebrities of his stature, you have to give him props for not trying to whitewash it.

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« Reply #154 on: August 13, 2009, 07:22:59 PM »



Wasn't he engaged to a supermodel at the time?

He was MARRIED to Elizabeth Hurley at the time.

I don't recall that they ever married.
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« Reply #155 on: August 13, 2009, 07:41:56 PM »



Wasn't he engaged to a supermodel at the time?

He was MARRIED to Elizabeth Hurley at the time.

I don't recall that they ever married.

You're right (Liz Hurley was Hugh Grant's girlfriend).
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« Reply #156 on: August 14, 2009, 03:16:38 AM »

Rosehip, I'm replying to your initial inquiry.  I have only skimmed through some of the replies.

Just for perspective, I'm a 56 year old, never married male; engaged once for 2.5 years, but my finance terminated the engagement, many years ago.

I only want to note, that I think there is more to what the man you're discussing had told you.  For whatever reason, he didn't tell you his real reasons for ending the relationship.  I find people are attracted to one another prior to initiating a relationship.  Attraction is not something that develops.  It may become more intense as a relationship grows, but it is either there initially or not.  In a relationship, we see each other dressed up and dressed down; whether it's a big Saturday night on the town, or a Saturday afternoon picnic.  I've been attracted to both the high maintenance look and the casual look.  I am very low maintenance; T.J. Max works for me.  I cannot imagine someone suddenly telling me that they've lost interest because I have no interest in an executive appearance, and expect me to take them seriously.  Something else is wrong in reality.  Likewise, I never lost interest in someone because they were not dressed with designer clothes, etc., or because I wanted her to dress down more. My only point is, I believe he didn't level with you as to his reason for his loss of interest.
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« Reply #157 on: August 18, 2009, 11:23:32 AM »

Quote
Thanks!  I'm hoping District 9 turns out better than Terminator Salvation did.  Grin
[/quote]

Wait, you have a girl taking you to see District 9 instead of some sappy love fest film?  You might be on to something! There are those of us that can do sci-fi and adventure even better than sappy love films.  Wink

Rosehip I have never seen a picture of you, but I am sure you are beautiful. You have got to be who God created you to be and be confident in that. There is no one type of man that you need to please, as evidenced by the many male opinions right here in this thread. Seems like "healthy" would far outweigh any certain weight preference.  I have been both the skinny woman (at 5'10 being under 100lbs is not attractive, but I did fit into anything I wanted after being ill for two years) and the not quite as thin mom of 7. My dh has seen both, and caused a little bit of that Wink and he loves me as me. In fact the poor guy has known me since I was 14, even in the tall braces stage! It really depends on the man, and you don't want one whose depths end at his fashion expectations for a partner. The idea isn't to struggle to appeal to a man's physical desires alone, and then have nothing more to offer. Despite the fact that men are visual creatures and are initially attracted in that manner, they do desire a woman that can enjoy the same kinds of movies, or music and food and other comforts of life yet can still bring something new and exciting/intelligent to the table. Or so I have been told by more than a few-its amazing how much info you get when you are already the old married lady.  Smiley  I have a single Russian gentleman at our parish that is quite ready to find a woman of quality and integrity. All that shows up at our little parish is either too old or too young! He works at our local nuclear company... just saying.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2009, 11:34:56 AM by calligraphqueen » Logged
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« Reply #158 on: August 18, 2009, 11:36:47 AM »

...
« Last Edit: August 18, 2009, 11:37:29 AM by Rosehip » Logged

+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +
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