Topic: Do you remember where you were when Orthodoxy caught your interest?

[DavidH]

This is an open question to all converts and catechumens: what was the catalyst that first set you consciously on the path to Orthodoxy? Was it a person, an experience, a train of thought, a book? Were you aware of "looking for something" or did it happen unexpectedly?

[88Devin12]

Sitting here at my computer speaking with an Orthodox Christian on ChristianForums.com about 2-3 years ago. (I think his name was OrthodoxyUSA, maybe...)

[DavidH]

Thanks, Devin- If you had to reduce it to a sentence or two, what was it about OrthodoxyUSA that made you think he was onto something?

[Thomas]

Mine began when I started after I left the Mormon Church and began to look for the True Church of God, initially I returned to the faith of my parents (Protestant Episcopal) but was so distressed when I saw the mess they were in I spoke with my Episcopla Priest---he stated that I only had two choices, The Roman Catholic Church or the Eastern Orthodox Church.  Upon looking at the facts I became Orthodox as they were the original Apostolic Church of Jesus Christ. Hand down, no further questions.

Thomas

[katherineofdixie]

what was the catalyst that first set you consciously on the path to Orthodoxy? Was it a person, an experience, a train of thought, a book? Were you aware of "looking for something" or did it happen unexpectedly?

Oddly enough, the discernment process for ordained ministry in the Lutheran Church. Along with assisting my pastor with visitation, worship, and giving sermons, I was directed to study the early history of Christianity. Which led inexorably to the Orthodox Church.
What really caught my interest was reading "Facing East" by Frederica Mathewes-Green.
At that time, my husband was working with people with disabilities as a job coach/job developer and his new client was a Greek Orthodox young woman. In talking with her parents to develop a job plan, he mentioned that I had been reading about Orthodoxy. They invited us to their church, and we never went back to our Lutheran church. We became catechumens almost immediately and were chrismated a little over a year later.

[ialmisry]

The article in the Encyclopedia Britannica, which I came across my freshman year at the U of C.

I had spent three years in a High School run by the Vatican's Congregation of the Resurrection, as an Evangelical Lutheran.  I spent a lot of times answering the question "Are you Catholic" "No." "So you're not Christian?" "No, I am." "But you said you weren't Catholic....." I remember a friend of mine, when it came to his turn to say the prayer before class, would say the "Hail Mary," and would swing is head back into my direction on the "HAIL Mary" part, to make sure it was clear whom it was directed. (I think he would drop dead if he knew I said the Angelus).  I knew of the Orthodox (some of my classmates were. One had submitted to the Vatican because he went to their elementary school, and got confirmed with the rest, so as not to stand out).  I thought "the same as the Vatican.  Just longer, just in Greek, just more incense, just as wrong."  So I was used to resisting proselytism of all sorts besides this: Calvinists, Muslims, JW and Mormons.  I remember one of the priests, finding out that I had embraced Orthodoxy, rather perplexed (as was the prominent people in my Lutheran Congregation-there had been talk of seminary.  I think if I had told them that I had AIDS and one month to live, they would have been less shocked).  How did the Orthodox succeed when they had failed?  Even more perplexing, was that the Orthodox didn't try to convert me.  It sold itself.

The thing that caught my eye in the EB article was the basis of Orthdoox Theology: "According to Orthodoxy, the natural theology of man is agnosticism, because finite man cannot comprehend the infinite God. But it does not lead to agnosticism, because God has revealed himself" or something like that.  I thought "that's right." So simple yet profound.  I found myself saying "that's right" as I read through the article (written by Fr. Meyendorff of blessed memory, btw.  I had the privilege of meeting him and kissing his hand in thanks shortly before he fell asleep).  I decided to get the books in the bibliography that the EB USED ( ) to have at the end of every article.  Sergei Bulgakov "The Orthodox Church" was very influential.

It wasn't until later, arguing with an agnostic friend over evolution (he was a palaeontolgy major) that he stated "you always say what the Lutheran position is, and then the Orthodox and mention that you agree with the Orthodox.  Why aren't you Orthodox?"  I went to the local Orthodox parish to answer that.

I was Christmated that Great and Holy Saturday.

Btw, Ancient Faith Radio has some testimonials I think from converts.

[88Devin12]

Thanks, Devin- If you had to reduce it to a sentence or two, what was it about OrthodoxyUSA that made you think he was onto something?

When he spoke about traditional Christianity and how Orthodoxy is the original Church. I was searching for early church worship, and found that the Early Church itself still exists.

[EofK]

I was taking some Biblical Studies classes in a Baptist college.  One of my professors was giving us background information on the Pentateuch and mentioned that church tradition claimed the Pentateuch as being written by Moses, so we'd assume that and continue with interpretation and such.  I was fascinated with what else church tradition had to say, so in the process of looking into early Christianity, I discovered the Orthodox church was still a living organism today.  I wasn't aware we had a local parish until about five years after my initial discovery of Orthodoxy, so the transition took a while.

[wynd]

I went on a retreat with the Catholic student center at my school when I was in college. During a "meditative" section of the retreat, they played a CD of Rachmaninov's Divine Liturgy to help set the mood. I had been trying to learn Russian and recognized some of the words, so I asked the retreat leader about the CD and looked it up when I got home.

[Alpo]

I was propably lying on my bed about three years ago thinking that perhaps the Pentacostalism of my childhood is not my cup of tea after all. So I started to look for a more suitable denomination. The plan was propably to check all available denominations in Finland and then choose the most pleasing one. Then I found the website of the Finnish Orthodox Church and a list of recommended books for inquirers. One of them was The Orthodox Way by metropolitan Kallistos which I found from a local library. I liked it and picked up the second one and the third one and the... Started to visit at Uspenski Cathedral in Helsinki occasionally. The search changed from finding a denomination to finding the Church. After rejecting the Lutheran doctrine on justification and the RC view of papacy I realised that I could never become a Protestant or a Catholic.

But I guess after all this hasn't been just about doctrines. I feel like I've been sitting in a train that is taking me into the Orthodox Church and at the terminus I just realise that I'm already Orthodox by faith and final conversion feels like a natural step.

I will be Chrismated on Sunday.

[Heorhij]

I was in my grandparents apartment, perhaps 5 years old or so, and heard how I.F. Shalyapin sang "Nynye Otpushchayeshi" (Nunc Dimittis), on a very old shabby record. (Here it is, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU7h3AUheDY&feature=related) I was absolutely stunned and stirred, even at that tender age. Then, at the age ~10-11, heard the choir sing in St. Volodymyr's Cathedral in my home city, Kyiv, and saw icons, frescos, murals there. That captured me for the rest of my life.

[Andrew21091]

I became interested and serious about Orthodoxy a few years after I was received into the Orthodox Church since at the time I converted, I was pretty young and I really didn't care one way or the other if I was Orthodox, Catholic, or nothing (I never wanted to go to church when I was young) since I just converted with my mother when I was probably ten years old. We went to Liturgy, I didn't understand what was going on so I was bored and didn't like it and we went less often and then we just kind of stopped going (kind of the same way when my family was Catholic; church was a Christmas/Easter thing). As I said, I never really cared about religion at that time in my life. Later when I was 15 my brother converted to Orthodoxy on his own whim and he somewhat inspired me and I started thinking a little more seriously about my faith and my mom and I started going back to church together at least every other Sunday and I kept growing in my faith and love toward God and I read more about Orthodoxy. When I turned 16, I got my drivers license and I started going all the time to Vespers, Matins, and Liturgy then came Lent where I went to all the services I possibly could and went to every Holy Week service which impacted me a lot at the time and I remember being brought to tears during the service in the evening of Holy Thursday when the Cross was processed around the church with the singing of "Today He is Hung Upon the Tree".

My story is a little unique since I converted at a young age and then later I became more serious about Orthodoxy. Glory to God.

[akelios]

*timidly pokes newbie-lurker head*

I'm neither a convert or a catechumen, but I'm going to answer anyway, because the answer amuses me, and I hope no one minds.

It was in RCIA last year, and the Deacon kept saying, 'The church originally did such and such this way, but we don't anymore. The Orthodox do, though.'

*runs away again*

[EofK]

Welcome, akelios!  We try not to bite too often.  Thanks for your input!

[Firiel]

I was in a freshman history classroom when my friend invited me to Pascha, and for a year after that I investigated it before I decided to convert, with no reservations, at the next Pascha. Before this point I had been looking into Catholicism, but wasn't completely satisfied with it. I came from a lax JW background. I was baptized and chrismated this past Lazarus Saturday. The friend mentioned above is now my godmother.

[Jetavan]

I was in college, undergrad, practicing Zen, and reading books on meditation. One book mentioned The Way of the Pilgrim. So I read The Way and was impressed with the discipline of the Jesus Prayer. I thought, maybe one day, I'll become Orthodox. But not yet.

[katherine 2001]

It was 9 years ago for me.  I had left the Baptist church about 10 years ago (because I had come to the conclusion that the Eucharist is Christ's body and blood) and wasn't going anywhere.  I love Russian culture and history, and had many VHS tapes about Russia.  One of them had quite a lot of scenes of Orthodox services, and something about it appealed to me (I think the reverence of the worship appealed the most to me).  I was taking a Russian class at the time and found out about an exhibit at the Portland Art Museum in Portland, OR about the Stroganov family.  The exhibit was set up like rooms in the Stroganov Palace in St. Petersburg.  One of the rooms was devoted to icons and Orthodox items.  That was my first exposure to icons, and I fell in love with them (icons have a way of speaking to you).  My favorite was the plazhyenitsa that dated from the 1590's (and some of the Stroganov women had helped in the embroidery on it) that had been used in the cathedral located on the main family estate.  I couldn't take my eyes off of it.  I knew that I had to see the rest of the exhibit, but I didn't want to leave it because it touched me so deeply.  When I got back home to Helena, MT (where I was living at the time), I ordered books from Amazon and devoured them.  There was no Orthodox church there (the closest was the Serbian church in Butte, which is 60 miles away).  Within two months, however, the OCA started a mission in Helena, and I started attending at their second service after reading an article in the newspaper about it (and I just "happened" to be subscribing to the paper at that time, which I didn't do very often).  In fact, tomorrow will be the 9th anniversary of my first visit.  It really amazes me when I look back at how God prepared me for what was coming, and I am really thankful that He allowed me to find my true home.

[Catherine]

I will be Chrismated on Sunday.

Me too.    I shall light a candle and say a prayer for you, Alpo.

- - - - -

As for me. .when I first became a Christian I read all kinds of Christian books: Orthodox books, Catholic books and Protestant books.  I later jointly created a Messianic/Christian website and the "Catholic versus Protestant" discussions made me question things further (I was searching for a home in Christ for a while before that).  Eventually I started talking to a wonderful Orthodox Christian on the forum - he is one of the most interesting, polite and patient people I have ever met in my life; he is extremely good at explaining things.  "The Orthodox man," my priest (there are NO WORDS to describe my priest), a wonderful Orthodox lady and the Saints (last but CERTAINLY NOT least) have helped me tremendously. It would have been very easy for me to join the Catholic Church, and even easier to join a Baptist, Evangelical, or other Protestant church, but for me, the differences were irreconcilable and I had to choose Orthodoxy as being the true expression of the Christian faith. I have been told (by my priest) that I can certainly appreciate the beauty of two or more Churches, just as anyone can appreciate beauty wherever it is (in different religions, in the poetry of an atheist like Shelley, or anywhere else). In fact, being able to recognize beauty "elsewhere" is a true sign that we love truth and beauty, rather than an idea of what these two things should be. As for "having" both, that's a different thing. I cannot possess what is in either Orthodoxy or Catholicism - or in Methodism, Anglicanism etc. - it can only possess me. As I said, I have discovered "being there" with the sights, sounds, smells and actions is simply another level to reading the prayers, etc, and to truly appreciate any of these Christian groups requires the same commitment. It is the only fair and respectful thing to do, in fact. That is why a choice, ultimately, needs to be made. I cannot "be there" in two different places - to live the life of a Catholic and an Orthodox Christian will tear me into two pieces.

This is not to say that I don't appreciate the beauty and truth present in the Catholic church. It's just that it would be disrespectful to "appropriate" the things I appreciate and respect within Catholicsm for my own, while not being a Catholic. For example, I very much respect St. Theresa of Lisseux as a good person but I could never ask her to interceed for me without living the basic Roman Catholic life that she did. On the other hand, the holy people like St. Theresa and others within the Roman Catholic list of saints were simply "not enough" to cause me to choose Catholicism over Orthodoxy. I am absolutely content that the Orthodox Church is the fullest revelation of truth, beauty and love. Truth, beauty, and love exists outside of her, but I simply have no right to chauvanistically proclaim everything I recognize as true, beautiful and loving outside of the Orthodox church as "Orthodox-by-proxy". This is actually what happens when people call anyone who proclaims Christ and is a good person (by their standards) to be a "true" Christian. I don't do this. It initially looks exclusive and prideful to take this course, but in reality it is the opposite. My view on the Orthodox Church with relation to other people is simply this:

Everything Orthodox is true.
Not everything true is Orthodox.
Truth is truth.

So, I am making no claims that "non-Orthodox" truths are less worthy than Orthodox ones (Truth is Truth), but by making the distinction it preserves the foundation that the Orthodox Church, founded by Christ, is the clearest, purest and most complete revelation of Truth, the person of Jesus Christ. I believe other groups - whether Christian or not - have varying degrees of truth adulterated with fictions.




I am sorry - this is more of a very long testimony!  But I LOVE Orthodoxy. . . 

[Douglas]

Eighteen years ago I was on a leave of absence from teaching and decided to visit Russia of all places. We spent a week in Moscow, a week in Yalta, a week in Leningrad and a couple of days in Kiev. It was in Moscow while touring a "working" church that I first felt oddly repelled and attracted at one and the same time. Later in Kiev we went through the Kievo Lavra and that pretty much nailed it for me. When I returned home I contacted a Ukrainian priest who then catechized me over a six month period... it's a long story.

[Alveus Lacuna]

I will be Chrismated on Sunday.

You are the envy of the world!  Prepare your heart, and may God set you ablaze with the divine fire!

It was in RCIA last year, and the Deacon kept saying, 'The church originally did such and such this way, but we don't anymore. The Orthodox do, though.'

Welcome to the forum!  Please stick around and share your thoughts on things.

I thought, maybe one day, I'll become Orthodox. But not yet.

Oh, no worries.  It's coming.

[Rosehip]

I was 14 years old when my parents dragged me to a Russian Orthodox parish for services. At first it seemed a somewhat dingy and shabby religion, but soon I fell in love with the spirituality and the singing. When I was a small child, my father, who took an interest in such things, ordered illustrated books of fairy tales for me from Russia, which I spent a great deal of time reading. I also remember staring for hours at the photos in the National Geographic of onion-domed churches far away in Russia...it was a wonderful fairy-tale world and I think the seed was planted then...I knew it was a world in which I wanted to live...

[Elisha]

I just grew up going to church with my dad (I didn't really have a choice).  I remember that our services were constantly changing, becoming more and more structured ("liturgical" if you will).  Then one day, when I was 11, my dad said that we were going to drive to LA, stay in a hotel, and then go to some other church the next day for some 3 hour service.  This Met. Phillip dude was there and we all stood in these big lines to get Chrismated.  That was 23 years ago.

About 15 years ago, when I moved out of the house while in college (I went to three, graduating at the third place), I was attending an ELCA parish with my former foster parents (EOC early stage dropouts) since there wasn't an Orthodox Church in the area.  Six months of that got me to say, "This isn't church.  I need to find an Orthodox church."  I found one an hour south, which I drove to most Sunday's a month...and after finishing college at the third place, I've at the parish ever since.

I have to be grateful that I came into the Church as a child with my family, as I have no idea where I would be if I didn't.  While every book (Orthodox books) I have read has strengthened my faith, conviction, etc., I don't necessarily have this "investigative sense" that I think many of you on this forum have.  Yes, I believe in everything, the theology, etc., but is more of a sense to me (at least the technical parts really cemented), that this just was the Church, all the aspects just made sense (logically speaking) and it was just "right".  Any other place else I may visit (funeral, wedding, whatever), just isn't church.  I don't mean to be demeaning, but my relatives that go to their Protestant churches, I have this feeling that they're just falling for some scam/marketing campaign/whatever.  They're responsible adults - how can they not recognize that their church service isn't more like some entertainment gig and that their building is not a church but an auditorium or theater?  Anyways.  That's my story.  Child convert (or like I like to say, "pseudo-cradle" - hey, I was young).

[mountainman]

trying to figure out why the rastafarians considered Hailie sellasie to be the second incarnation of the Christ.  In investigating sellasie, I learned of the ethipoian orthodox church and came to understand that he was very much a christian in the ancient tradition.

[Ortho_cat]

I was looking at the Christianity timeline on wikipedia, attempting to trace its roots. I remember looking at the eastern side and thinking "hey those guys claim apostolic succession too! Surely they don't believe the same things that Catholics do?? (Roman, that is  )"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity

[Ortho_cat]

*timidly pokes newbie-lurker head*

I'm neither a convert or a catechumen, but I'm going to answer anyway, because the answer amuses me, and I hope no one minds.

It was in RCIA last year, and the Deacon kept saying, 'The church originally did such and such this way, but we don't anymore. The Orthodox do, though.'

*runs away again*

 

[jckstraw72]

sitting in front of the Willard building at Penn State, listening to the Willard Preacher who was explaining why he left Protestantism for Orthodoxy.

[DavidH]

sitting in front of the Willard building at Penn State, listening to the Willard Preacher who was explaining why he left Protestantism for Orthodoxy.

Wow- this sounded interesting so I googled it. He even has a website: http://thewillardblog.blogspot.com/

[Alveus Lacuna]

Wow- this sounded interesting so I googled it. He even has a website: http://thewillardblog.blogspot.com/

He just seems angry and scared.

[DavidH]

Wow- this sounded interesting so I googled it. He even has a website: http://thewillardblog.blogspot.com/

He just seems angry and scared.

  You're right, it seems that way if you read this blog in isolation from the rest of his site. But I don't think he really is after reading much of the other material there. I should have posted the link to his main page instead (off topic, but in defense of the man): http://www.thewillardpreacher.com/Links.htm

[jckstraw72]

well i assure you he's not angry and scared -- his preaching has brought tons of students into the Church just in the past 4 yrs ive been around, and others converted before me, and there's more who are looking into it now. i learned more from him than any PSU professor

[MariM]

I first thought about the Orthodox church when sitting in a Wesleyan church talking to a  minister there who was going to leave and had decided that the Orthodox church was the true church.  This was several years ago almost a thousand miles from where I live now.  How I was ever privy to that conversation I do not remember.  I do know the seed was planted, though slow, my quest began and here I am.   

[livefreeordie]

I was on a motorcycle and became drawn to an onion dome in the distance.  I was on what turned out to be a two-year journey around the US recovering from a jet crash and looked into the windows of the church and was just taken to another place by the icons.  I then went to a bookstore and left with The Way of the Pilgrim. I read it as I traveled and just like that my journey had led me to orthodoxy.

[Agabus]

I worked in a coffee shop and very early on a Lebanese guy started to come in and talk about how much he loved being Orthodox. All. The. Time. 

[Ortho_cat]

I worked in a coffee shop and very early on a Lebanese guy started to come in and talk about how much he loved being Orthodox. All. The. Time. 

What kinds of things would he say, Agabus?

[Agabus]

What kinds of things would he say, Agabus?

He would invite me to the local OCF Vespers service (the coffee shop was across the street from a university), talk about how Orthodox worship is different from other Christian services and spend a lot of time just talking about the Bible and how he loved the Lord. He was a very solid witness for Orthodoxy, sure of himself and his faith but not pushy.

[username!]

Altar Calls.. the new hallmark of the truly American church.

[KevinOrr]

Part of my confirmation class in the United Methodist church where I was growing up in Oklahoma City, was to attend an orthodox worship service. I was 11. The service blew me away. The incense, the icons, the robes of the priest, I felt I was in an alternate universe. After the liturgy, we went downstairs into the basement where we got to eat and chat with the priest. That started an interest for me that was rekindled when I was in college. One of my dorm mates was from Athens, and we went to a Greek church in OKC for Pascha. I remained intrigued off and on. Now, with a Greek church only a few miles away, I go often. The priests and lay people there have been very receptive to me, and sensitive to my struggle as a United Methodist pastor who is feeling such a strong pull toward Orthodoxy, and likely would have already been chrismated if it wasn't for the fact that I am an elder in the United Methodist church. Pray for me.

[Alveus Lacuna]

Pray for me.

Lord, have mercy on your servant, and lead him into the fullness of your Church!

[MariM]

Part of my confirmation class in the United Methodist church where I was growing up in Oklahoma City, was to attend an orthodox worship service. I was 11. The service blew me away. The incense, the icons, the robes of the priest, I felt I was in an alternate universe. After the liturgy, we went downstairs into the basement where we got to eat and chat with the priest. That started an interest for me that was rekindled when I was in college. One of my dorm mates was from Athens, and we went to a Greek church in OKC for Pascha. I remained intrigued off and on. Now, with a Greek church only a few miles away, I go often. The priests and lay people there have been very receptive to me, and sensitive to my struggle as a United Methodist pastor who is feeling such a strong pull toward Orthodoxy, and likely would have already been chrismated if it wasn't for the fact that I am an elder in the United Methodist church. Pray for me.

Kevin,
If you read my post then you will know I came from a Methodist church also; it was after talking to a pastor at this church who was talking about leaving because he felt the Orthodox church was the only true church when I first began thinking about it.  Although he left before I did and I have moved around a bit before ending up in the  Orthodox church, my quest began after that conversation.  I will pray that God gives you wisdom and directs you. 

[Altar Server]

I will be praying foy you and I ask you to do the same as I continue my journey

[Clancy Boy]

I was searching for early church worship, and found that the Early Church itself still exists.

That's my answer too. 

I first heard about it in March, was baptized in April, and the rest of my family was baptized last week. 
Is that some kind of record or what?

Now I'm looking into seminaries.

[Myrrh23]

For me, my interest in Orthodoxy started when some of the OC members here got banned from CAF. I was very amazed at some of their answers to Catholic beliefs and comebacks, and I was extremely unhappy when CAF tossed them. I was still Catholic, but I decided to leave during my final year at SIUC, where I suffered much loneliness and despair. I was a part of the Catholic Newman Center there and felt very unwelcomed. I felt I was...different than the other Catholic kids. I wanted something that sorta resembled Catholicism, and the Internet helped me find my way, both times! God bless the Internet!

[username!]

I was searching for early church worship, and found that the Early Church itself still exists.

That's my answer too. 

I first heard about it in March, was baptized in April, and the rest of my family was baptized last week. 
Is that some kind of record or what?

Now I'm looking into seminaries.

  You shouldn't look into seminary for at least three years after living the Orthodox faith.  In fact the major seminaries will tell you that the moment you turn your application in.  Asking "is that some kind of record or what?" is just beyond words. 

[katherineofdixie]

I was searching for early church worship, and found that the Early Church itself still exists.

That's my answer too. 

I first heard about it in March, was baptized in April, and the rest of my family was baptized last week. 
Is that some kind of record or what?

Now I'm looking into seminaries.

  You shouldn't look into seminary for at least three years after living the Orthodox faith.  In fact the major seminaries will tell you that the moment you turn your application in.  Asking "is that some kind of record or what?" is just beyond words. 

A bishop that I know always says this to people who want to "rush" to seminary. Even though I'm a very "thinky"- type, I have learned that Orthodoxy should be lived day in and day out. Not that you're not doing that already, of course, but based on my own experience and observation, I would counsel patience, prayer and reflection because by taking time through prayer, many things become clearer.  I’m sure you understand that with faith comes also a style of life, a way of living, and customs (and I don't mean ethnic customs) but rather our Holy Tradition. Living in this Orthodox way, living the liturgical life of the Church, in a close relationship with your priest or spiritual father, I have come to realize is “applied theology."

[Schultz]

I honestly can't remember when or where I was when Orthodoxy first caught my interest, but it was probably sometime after January 2000 when I started to take my Christian faith seriously again.

A bishop that I know always says this to people who want to "rush" to seminary. Even though I'm a very "thinky"- type, I have learned that Orthodoxy should be lived day in and day out. Not that you're not doing that already, of course, but based on my own experience and observation, I would counsel patience, prayer and reflection because by taking time through prayer, many things become clearer.  I’m sure you understand that with faith comes also a style of life, a way of living, and customs (and I don't mean ethnic customs) but rather our Holy Tradition. Living in this Orthodox way, living the liturgical life of the Church, in a close relationship with your priest or spiritual father, I have come to realize is “applied theology."

The idea of holy orders has been attractive to me as a vocation since at least the first grade (I went as a priest for "Who do you want to be when you grow up? day").  The thought of the diaconate has crossed my mind more than once in the past 8 years or so, even moreso after I made the decision to 'dox; I believe I've mentioned it on here before once or twice. 

But I also firmly believe that one must live the life before becoming a leader of it, so to speak, and, as such, I'm content with waiting and learning and making sure I have an internal prayer life to go with the externals of seeking ordination. 

I know I'm not there, yet.