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Author Topic: A story I'd like to share - For discussion  (Read 883 times) Average Rating: 0
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simplygermain
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Zechariah 11:7


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« on: July 13, 2009, 02:49:17 PM »

There was an experience I'd like to share with my brothers and sisters on this forum. Some will relate, some will jump on me for even bringing it up. So be it. But I thought it would be something which would be a good topic to share...

It begins like this:

During a hard time in my life, when I was doing many things I should not have, I went to a big musical festival of about 4000 people in the L.A. forest. I had ingested much psycadelics prior to going. This was to be the last time I would do this. Before I ingested them, I said a prayer, as if afraid with some for-knowledge, that I would have a frightening experience that night. The prayer I said was something like this..."Oh, Lord, if this is medicine, let it be medicine for my soul, to have the best possible outcome. I ask for understanding and wisdom that I might change and become a better person. I seek enlightenment of my mind and heart to be set on a path to you God." Then I took it.
As the night progressed, I noticed no affects, no "high". The bands, groups of musicians and dj's played. At some time about sunrise, I noticed faces in the crowd as if spotlights where on them. I recognized these people as people I knew through life, people whom I had lied to, misrepresented myself to or otherwise had hidden myself from through my "little white lies" to make myself look better in their eyes.
I then recognized them looking at me with a certain look. It seemed to me that they could see me for who I truly was, a liar, a fake. This made me feel very self conscious at first.
At this time a helicopter was making an airlift of a person who had fallen from a cliff at the edge of the venue. This was very sad to me. But this did not stop the party or even make people stop dancing. A few mentioned it with sadness and remorse but (things like this happen at parties and raves all the time).
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 Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on."
simplygermain
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« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2009, 03:07:37 PM »

At about this time, noticed the Sunrise and asked my friends and girlfriends if we could get going (we had driven together). We all agreed and grouped back up with the effort to make our way through the crowd to the exit and meet at the car. As I walked to the exit, something the drugs which I had taken "kicked in". I became enveloped in empty space and stars, meteors and the like began to rush past me. I was not aware of myself anymore. I was not even aware of where I was.
I remember walking toward the sun itself. I felt its warmth. I saw its light and looked directly into it. A voice came from it and spoke to me. It told me to "remember". Then I saw every sin I had committed, every thing I had to be ashamed of. I was naked to all for my sins. I could not hide them. I tried to rationalize this and understand how everyone could see them, but to no avail. I picked up an acorn and heard the voice say that "I am just a seed". I picked up a pine cone and a six pointed star began spiraling from it's point and when it had formed, it emanated light from it that penetrated my forehead and spoke words I did not understand into my mind. Then I cried as I had never cried before. I asked for forgiveness from God for everything. I realized my faults. I realized that I was just dust, created, not God but a creature. But that I was meant to be much more than I was. I asked God to truly forgive me and He said "I Have". Then I saw an opening form in the light of the sun. It was at the edge of the cliff, near the road where people had parked. I saw a door, as if hovering in the air with steps leading to it, right into the Sun itself. I walked to it and told God that with all my heart, I wanted to be with Him and live in His light and warmth. I wanted to do only His will and no longer feel the pain I felt my whole life. I approached the door and with one foot off the cliff, I stepped.
I felt a hard jerk on my collar of my shirt. I turned around and saw one of my dear friends had pulled me to safety. I understood this to be metaphorically significant.
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I believe, help Thou my unbelief!! - St. John of Krondstadt

http://Http://hairshirtagenda.blogspot.com

 Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on."
simplygermain
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« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2009, 03:13:55 PM »

I understood this to be the true way to God. I saw people leaving the event exit and saw the birds flying over head. I heard voices of happy people and recognized that I had almost stepped off a 150 ft. cliff to my death. I saw that God Himself had protected me through the use of my friend. I understood that God had shown me the way to Him - Life, not Death.

It took me a couple of days to not feel the residual effects of this experience. I could not go to work. My eyes would not focus correctly, and I shivered violently as if I was cold, for two days. After this experience much changed about how I acted towards my peers. I became much more honest and humble. I also became acutely aware of myself, flaws, habits, sins.

Well, what do you think?
(disclaimer - This author does not condone the use of drugs. Nor does he consent to others practising in the usage of narcotics or psycadelics for the purposes of religion. This is not a story which has anything to do with Orthodoxy in specific but a story of an experience from over 10 years ago, of one person who later became baptized in the Orthodox Church after seeing the error of His ways and truly seeking Christ in His Fullness.)
« Last Edit: July 13, 2009, 03:24:49 PM by simplygermain » Logged

I believe, help Thou my unbelief!! - St. John of Krondstadt

http://Http://hairshirtagenda.blogspot.com

 Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on."
aserb
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« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2009, 08:45:33 PM »

SG:  Where can I get some of that stuff!  Grin

No, seriously, I had a similar experience but not as dramatic or life threatening. This was over 30 years ago but I took a psychodelic drug for only the second time and when I was coming down from a rather disturbing high (I'll spare the details) I tryed to lay down and sleep. But I couldn't sleep I was too agitated in my spirit for lack of a better word.  I then said "OK, whoever it is that wants to speak to me -- you speak."  Immediately the entire room took on a surreal calmness (picture palm trees gently swaying near a blue lagoon in the south Pacific) and I heard the following "Daniel, do not try to fathom me for I am infinite. If you will humble yourself before me like a little child, I will take care of you." I immediately jumped up and said to myself. That's God!

Although never schooled in the Jesus prayer I then found myself praying "Lord Jesus Christ have mercy upon me, I am a sinner."

Like the Israelites I then found myself sojourning in the wilderness of various evangelical churches unitl finally reaching the promised land - Holy Orthodoxy.

Good story SG. You're not alone
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simplygermain
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« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2009, 08:49:33 PM »

Yours is a good story as well. The Jesus Prayer cam eso naturally to you too. Our God is Awesome isn't He?! Grin
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I believe, help Thou my unbelief!! - St. John of Krondstadt

http://Http://hairshirtagenda.blogspot.com

 Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on."
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« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2009, 10:03:16 PM »

The answer to your question is right in front of you simplegermain,

Where are you now in life?

How are you as an individual?

Are you aware of your sins, or feel yourself as someone special who repented from a great sin?

How do you treat others? Are you kind or mean?

From that, you can see where your experience came from, if it lead you to repentance, and humility, then it's a good one, if it leads you to pride and feeling "holy" and superior, then it's a real bad one, and you should remember who you are.


 
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simplygermain
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« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2009, 10:41:07 PM »

The answer to your question is right in front of you simplegermain,
Where are you now in life?
How are you as an individual?
Are you aware of your sins, or feel yourself as someone special who repented from a great sin?
How do you treat others? Are you kind or mean?
From that, you can see where your experience came from, if it lead you to repentance, and humility, then it's a good one, if it leads you to pride and feeling "holy" and superior, then it's a real bad one, and you should remember who you are.
The question I asked was "what do you think?" in reference to what feelings or thoughts this arouses in an individual.
As I search my heart, I find that moment to moment, things change. I am a fickle human. Although there are times when I am kind, sincere, honest and truthful, I have found that everything good that comes from me is not mine to take the credit for. All good things come from God. Usually I get in the way. But sometimes He can use me to love, protect, comfort, or otherwise forgive others. I have much gratitude for the path he saved me from and  can see the silver lining He placed around my clouds. Also, I believe that Christ admonishes us and weighs on our conscience when we begin to think of ourselves as above others. I have my own experiences, others have there's.
« Last Edit: July 13, 2009, 10:47:48 PM by simplygermain » Logged

I believe, help Thou my unbelief!! - St. John of Krondstadt

http://Http://hairshirtagenda.blogspot.com

 Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on."
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« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2009, 10:50:52 PM »

I understood this to be the true way to God. I saw people leaving the event exit and saw the birds flying over head. I heard voices of happy people and recognized that I had almost stepped off a 150 ft. cliff to my death. I saw that God Himself had protected me through the use of my friend. I understood that God had shown me the way to Him - Life, not Death.

It took me a couple of days to not feel the residual effects of this experience. I could not go to work. My eyes would not focus correctly, and I shivered violently as if I was cold, for two days. After this experience much changed about how I acted towards my peers. I became much more honest and humble. I also became acutely aware of myself, flaws, habits, sins.

Well, what do you think?
(disclaimer - This author does not condone the use of drugs. Nor does he consent to others practising in the usage of narcotics or psycadelics for the purposes of religion. This is not a story which has anything to do with Orthodoxy in specific but a story of an experience from over 10 years ago, of one person who later became baptized in the Orthodox Church after seeing the error of His ways and truly seeking Christ in His Fullness.)

Great Life changing story,,How Great God Is ,and his Great Great Love For us, how he reaches out for us,,,,Thanks for Sharing..
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« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2009, 10:58:32 PM »

Thank you for sharing your experience with us SG.  Ask and you shall receive.  Your prayers before your drug experience were answered and revealed a truth you desired.
prayers for a sinner,   Juliana
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simplygermain
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« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2009, 11:01:15 PM »

You can imagine, I almost lost my life that day. So I have much to regret and yet much to be thankful for. I was foolish.
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I believe, help Thou my unbelief!! - St. John of Krondstadt

http://Http://hairshirtagenda.blogspot.com

 Witega: "Bishops and Metropolitans and even Patriarchs have been removed under decidedly questionable circumstances before but the Church moves on."
aserb
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« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2009, 09:12:17 AM »

God is awesome SG! He'll use any means to get our attention.
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