Here I sit about 4 weeks (give or take a few days) from my due date. I tend to get really sore and cranky at about this point. My patience is fairly low and my mobility is greatly decreased by the sheer size of my burgeoning belly. My husband will be home in about 3 weeks. I would really like to have him there for the delivery of our newest daughter. Labor and delivery is something that physically I can handle on my own I know. But emotionally I really need him there. I have a great deal of anxiety that I will go into labor early and he won't be here. I have anxiety about the fact that I tend to deliver rather quickly and worry that I won't even be able to make it to the hospital (my son was just 90 minutes of active labor, childcare is at least a half hour from me and the hospital is at least another 30 minutes from me). I worry that the childcare I have set up will fall thru and I will have to either deliver at home alone or take my kids to the hospital to witness the whole thing. I feel incredibly guilty about leaving my older three to go deliver. Our son in particular is really going thru a difficult time with attachment issues. I hate the idea of spending a few hours, let alone a day or two away from my children. I love them greatly and hate the idea that my leaving to deliver will put undue stress on them.
As well- I have to request emergency leave for my husband to stay an extra few weeks after we deliver as he only has his standard 2 weeks leave and I will need more help than that. I have things set up so I will be taken care of, but having my husband would be the best help I could get. Ideally he could stay for 42 days after I deliver. But all this is decided upon by someone in an office position and what their mood is like that day.
Please pray that I will have some peace and trust in God irregardless of how this all turns out. Worry doesn't help me with the insomnia or the cranky feelings I have. And it certainly won't help get my husband home for the delivery, or allow him to stay longer than his two weeks scheduled leave.
And as a side note my husband hasn't been home for our daughter Witalu's birthday once since she was born due to military obligations. He leaves Afghanistan 3 days before her 4th birthday. If the layovers are short he will actually be home for her birthday this year! It would be wonderful for everyone if he could make it to home in time to see her on her birthday. But they sometimes lay them over for a day or more, and we don't know when he is flying out on the day he is to fly out, so we have no idea when he will be home.