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Author Topic: Leading and submitting in families.  (Read 1080 times) Average Rating: 0
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Peleg
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« on: May 15, 2009, 05:41:53 PM »

My wife and I have been married for 7 years now.  She is a wonderful woman and I could not have married any better in so many ways.  But, as w/ all things, it's not perfect.  My struggle w/ my wife from time to time concerns actions taken by my wife that I have specifically asked her not to do.  These actions are not sinful things but things I have given a lot of thought to and truly believe and desire her not to do.  If it's something that is neither here-nor-there for her she'll listen to me.  But if it's something she wants to do she simply does it.  Sometimes it's immediate other times she'll do it some time later.  But in each of these cases her doing the thing (buying another big toy for the kids they don't need and takes up too much room in our small home as an example) demonstrates a significant disrespect for me.  In a very real sense, she's really blowing me off on this.  There are other more subtle ways in which she does this and in most all of these cases I have told her so.  Understand, I'm by no means a bossy kind of husband or person.  It's just not my personality.  In fact, she has often complained that she wants me to make more decisions yet when I do, many times, she'll will completely ignore what I say and do whatever she wants.  The model of leadership the Bible instructs women to submit to is a self-sacrificing kind on the part of the husband.  So w/ that in mind, how do I deal w/ this situation?  Do I just let her do these things and learn to forgive and forget?  Do I confront her lovingly or what??  Some help would be most appreciated.
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Heorhij
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« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2009, 05:47:46 PM »

My wife and I have been married for 7 years now.  She is a wonderful woman and I could not have married any better in so many ways.  But, as w/ all things, it's not perfect.  My struggle w/ my wife from time to time concerns actions taken by my wife that I have specifically asked her not to do.  These actions are not sinful things but things I have given a lot of thought to and truly believe and desire her not to do.  If it's something that is neither here-nor-there for her she'll listen to me.  But if it's something she wants to do she simply does it.  Sometimes it's immediate other times she'll do it some time later.  But in each of these cases her doing the thing (buying another big toy for the kids they don't need and takes up too much room in our small home as an example) demonstrates a significant disrespect for me.  In a very real sense, she's really blowing me off on this.  There are other more subtle ways in which she does this and in most all of these cases I have told her so.  Understand, I'm by no means a bossy kind of husband or person.  It's just not my personality.  In fact, she has often complained that she wants me to make more decisions yet when I do, many times, she'll will completely ignore what I say and do whatever she wants.  The model of leadership the Bible instructs women to submit to is a self-sacrificing kind on the part of the husband.  So w/ that in mind, how do I deal w/ this situation?  Do I just let her do these things and learn to forgive and forget?  Do I confront her lovingly or what??  Some help would be most appreciated.

I think, just keep telling her what you think, very gently, lovingly, but persistently. Never let her get an impression that you are indifferent to what she is doing. However, do not expect a quick fix, it might take a lot of time and patience.
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Love never fails.
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