OrthodoxChristianity.net
July 24, 2014, 02:37:42 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Reminder: No political discussions in the public fora.  If you do not have access to the private Politics Forum, please send a PM to Fr. George.
 
   Home   Help Calendar Contact Treasury Tags Login Register  
Pages: 1   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Pre Paschal Bleakness  (Read 894 times) Average Rating: 0
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Ian Lazarus
The Main Man!
OC.net guru
*******
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: AOA
Posts: 1,545


yIjah, Qey' 'oH!


« on: April 16, 2009, 12:45:11 AM »

Brethren:

Throughout this lenten season, there has been a sort of calm, and indeed some sense of accomplishment, as this is the first year for some firsts, good firsts happening to me and mine durring thsi season.  But in the last few days have seen more of an attack by the enemy.  I am plagued by the failures I have made this lent.  The Prayer rule I was supposed to keep seems to me an unaccomplished goal. I am sickened by and yet resigned to the fast, tired of the  same old things.  I feel more malaise and anger, and it's onset was in the past few days.  there is a feeling of hopelessness underpinning it all, like some morose cello that will not speed up, but gets steadily slower, more dreary. Though I fight these, it becomes more and more of a struggle in the last days.  Jesus Christ and Joy seem so far away at these moments.  Sometimes it's hard to breathe.  Such dispair weighs me down, and rising is a chore.   It's hard to pray, and it feels more like an aplology when I do.  An apology for my lack of faith and trust.  An apology for my lackadaisikal ways toward God.  And shame at my willfullness and my sinfullness.

Do any of you have simialr experiences at the end of lent?  Do you feel this extra weight on you?

Do not post topics in the Free-for-All parent board.  There is a sticky posted in all caps to that effect. ~Veniamin, Free-for-All moderator
« Last Edit: April 16, 2009, 08:43:56 AM by Veniamin » Logged

"For I am With thee, withersoever thou goest"

Joshua 1:9
Salpy
Section Moderator
Toumarches
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Oriental Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Armenian Church
Posts: 12,344


Pray for the Christians of Iraq and Syria.


« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2009, 12:55:03 AM »

What you feel is very normal.  You must be doing something right for the devil to be attacking you so strongly.

Pray for me.
Logged

ozgeorge
I'll take you for who you are if you take me for everything.
Hoplitarches
*************
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Oecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople, the New Rome, the Great Church of Christ.
Posts: 16,382


My plans for retirement.


WWW
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2009, 04:32:23 AM »

^Right on!
The Paschal bells will dispel all this, believe me!

Read the Paschal Homily of St. John Chrysostom (which will be read at the Paschal Liturgy). I find this helps sometimes.

Quote
If anyone is devout and a lover of God, let him enjoy this beautiful and radiant festival.
If anyone is a wise servant, let him, rejoicing, enter into the joy of his Lord.
If anyone has wearied himself in fasting, let him now receive his recompense.
If anyone has laboured from the first hour, let him today receive his just reward. If anyone has come at the third hour, with thanksgiving let him keep the feast. If anyone has arrived at the sixth hour, let him have no misgivings; for he shall suffer no loss. If anyone has delayed until the ninth hour, let him draw near without hesitation. If anyone has arrived even at the eleventh hour, let him not fear on account of his delay. For the Master is gracious and receives the last, even as the first; he gives rest to him that comes at the eleventh hour, just as to him who has laboured from the first. He has mercy upon the last and cares for the first; to the one he gives, and to the other he is gracious. He both honours the work and praises the intention.
Enter all of you, therefore, into the joy of our Lord, and, whether first or last, receive your reward. O rich and poor, one with another, dance for joy! O you ascetics and you negligent, celebrate the day! You that have fasted and you that have disregarded the fast, rejoice today! The table is rich-laden; feast royally, all of you! The calf is fatted; let no one go forth hungry!
Let all partake of the feast of faith. Let all receive the riches of goodness.
Let no one lament his poverty, for the universal kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one mourn his transgressions, for pardon has dawned from the grave.
Let no one fear death, for the Saviour's death has set us free.
He that was taken by death has annihilated it! He descended into hades and took hades captive! He embittered it when it tasted his flesh! And anticipating this Isaiah exclaimed, "Hades was embittered when it encountered thee in the lower regions." It was embittered, for it was abolished! It was embittered, for it was mocked! It was embittered, for it was purged! It was embittered, for it was despoiled! It was embittered, for it was bound in chains!
It took a body and, face to face, met God! It took earth and encountered heaven! It took what it saw but crumbled before what it had not seen!
"O death, where is thy sting? O hades, where is thy victory?"
Christ is risen, and you are overthrown!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life reigns!
Christ is risen, and not one dead remains in a tomb!
For Christ, being raised from the dead, has become the First-fruits of them that slept.
To him be glory and might unto ages of ages. Amen.
Logged

If you're living a happy life as a Christian, you're doing something wrong.
ytterbiumanalyst
Professor Emeritus, CSA
Merarches
***********
Offline Offline

Faith: Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA Diocese of the Midwest
Posts: 8,790



« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2009, 09:15:38 AM »

Yes, I have been feeling this also. Lent is a marathon, and I feel exhausted by the end of it. Even my students notice; one commented yesterday that I looked worn out. Yet I haven't been fasting to excess; in fact, I haven't even done as well as I did last year.

So I understand how you feel, but keep at it. The night is nearly over; the Day is almost here. And thanks, George, for posting St. John Chrysostom's sermon. He is so lovingly ruthless; he says exactly what needs to be said, in a way that encourages without miring in self-aggrandizement.
Logged

"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
PoorFoolNicholas
Site Supporter
OC.net guru
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Theologoumenon
Posts: 1,664


« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2009, 10:04:05 AM »

^Right on!
The Paschal bells will dispel all this, believe me!

Read the Paschal Homily of St. John Chrysostom (which will be read at the Paschal Liturgy). I find this helps sometimes.

Quote
If anyone is devout and a lover of God, let him enjoy this beautiful and radiant festival.
If anyone is a wise servant, let him, rejoicing, enter into the joy of his Lord.
If anyone has wearied himself in fasting, let him now receive his recompense.
If anyone has laboured from the first hour, let him today receive his just reward. If anyone has come at the third hour, with thanksgiving let him keep the feast. If anyone has arrived at the sixth hour, let him have no misgivings; for he shall suffer no loss. If anyone has delayed until the ninth hour, let him draw near without hesitation. If anyone has arrived even at the eleventh hour, let him not fear on account of his delay. For the Master is gracious and receives the last, even as the first; he gives rest to him that comes at the eleventh hour, just as to him who has laboured from the first. He has mercy upon the last and cares for the first; to the one he gives, and to the other he is gracious. He both honours the work and praises the intention.
Enter all of you, therefore, into the joy of our Lord, and, whether first or last, receive your reward. O rich and poor, one with another, dance for joy! O you ascetics and you negligent, celebrate the day! You that have fasted and you that have disregarded the fast, rejoice today! The table is rich-laden; feast royally, all of you! The calf is fatted; let no one go forth hungry!
Let all partake of the feast of faith. Let all receive the riches of goodness.
Let no one lament his poverty, for the universal kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one mourn his transgressions, for pardon has dawned from the grave.
Let no one fear death, for the Saviour's death has set us free.
He that was taken by death has annihilated it! He descended into hades and took hades captive! He embittered it when it tasted his flesh! And anticipating this Isaiah exclaimed, "Hades was embittered when it encountered thee in the lower regions." It was embittered, for it was abolished! It was embittered, for it was mocked! It was embittered, for it was purged! It was embittered, for it was despoiled! It was embittered, for it was bound in chains!
It took a body and, face to face, met God! It took earth and encountered heaven! It took what it saw but crumbled before what it had not seen!
"O death, where is thy sting? O hades, where is thy victory?"
Christ is risen, and you are overthrown!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life reigns!
Christ is risen, and not one dead remains in a tomb!
For Christ, being raised from the dead, has become the First-fruits of them that slept.
To him be glory and might unto ages of ages. Amen.
Love it. Thanks.
Logged
Schultz
Christian. Guitarist. Zymurgist. Librarian.
Taxiarches
**********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 6,461


Scion of the McKeesport Becks.


WWW
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2009, 10:11:02 AM »

I know this feeling all too well and it's been worse this year. 

I usually feel myself getting more despondent and depressed as Lent progresses.  By the time Holy Week comes, I can't help but be weighed down with all my failures in the weeks when I really should be trying harder to overcome them.  The thing that has kept me going in the past were sacramental confession and, most importantly, the Eucharist.  This is the first time in my life I've not had access to those sacraments.  Even in the worst case scenario that the Catholic Church has graceless sacraments, there was still a psychological comfort in participating.  As an Orthodox catechumen throughout this Lenten period, I've just been able to watch.  It's definitely increased my longing and my strengthened my resolve that the Orthodox Church is where I should be, but, at the same time, the inaccessibility has left me high and dry, so to speak.

It's been very rough, especially these last few days due to the cold, rainy weather here in Baltimore, but I know that all that will be displaced in a few days when we proclaim the Risen Lord! Smiley
Logged

"Hearing a nun's confession is like being stoned to death with popcorn." --Abp. Fulton Sheen
stewie
Jr. Member
**
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Posts: 49


« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2009, 10:15:29 AM »

Chrysostom's Paschal homily is possibly my favourite piece of writing in the history of the world.
Logged
si2008
Member
***
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 96


« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2009, 11:08:54 AM »

This Holy Week was one of the worst weeks of my life emotionally and spiritually.  Ambivalent news from the doctor, an argument and misunderstanding with a friend, lack of sleep, and a mean neighbor nearly undid me.  My priest said that "The devil rides it hard during Holy Week."
Logged
Salpy
Section Moderator
Toumarches
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Oriental Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Armenian Church
Posts: 12,344


Pray for the Christians of Iraq and Syria.


« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2009, 02:20:35 AM »

That is so true.
Logged

Tags: accidie Lent Pascha 
Pages: 1   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.079 seconds with 37 queries.