I must admit that this will be difficult for me.
I had a very difficult time last year with regard to church. There was an absence of trust and a breakdown of relationships, and I had to leave. very suddenly, a parish where I felt very much at home. I did quite a lot of wandering, going to the cathedral some Sundays, and to various parish churches, for about three months. I settled at my local, where I was able to just sit in the pew for a few Sundays and worship - in stark contrast to my involvement at my previous church. This has now built up in my current church, where I am sacristan, server, and on the church council. The last mentioned began about a month ago and is supposed to be for a period of three years, (although I was not actually informed of the three-year term until after I was elected to the post!) These are good people who have welcomed me, affirmed me and built up my feelings of self-worth again. I am ever indebted to them. I get to plan liturgies, and did so for Easter Day and this coming Corpus Christi, but I know that the time will come when I will have to leave this all behind.
It shaill not be easy, and will have an effect on the church as well as me. I shall be away next Sunday and going to the Divine Liturgy the Sunday after that. That means that, for two consecutive Sundays, I shan't be there, and so I have made arrangements so that everything I usually do will be taken care of. It is only this morning that I realised how much my contribution keeps things running smoothly. I do not mean to sound immodest, but it is true. I have been trying to build up a serving team so that there are fewer things that are dependent on my presence.
I would be glad to know that I leave this church, having built up something there that will last. It will make the transition easier.
I know that this doesn't really help you, rosemarie, but I suppose I am more identifying with your situation than offering guidance. I pray that your way will be made clear.