Do you think it is important for Christian women to obey their husbands (or their fathers if they don't have a husband)? Yes.
So your wife is perfectly obedient to you in your happy marriage?
LOL. No, she wasn't obedient at all, in our miserable marriage. A confidant of hers, a year before she left, told me that if I was more of a posterior oriface, the marriage would have a chance. I said no, she would have to go elsewhere to be abused in the manner she was accustomed to. And she did: she left for an old boyfriend who that last time she saw him before was beating his wife in public, and her present one, when my ex wouldn't obey him, according to the police reports etc., beats her, punches her, chokes her, butts her head, and bites her face and then threatens to kill her (and the kids) at knifepoint. Btw, her "significant others" have all been anti-christian and anti-Church. Too modern and sophisticated for that.
The problem was that she wanted to control everything, but mangage nothing. Nothing has changed since the divorce: she has tried to make me absolutely unable to get healthcare for the children, but will not take them (they both have serious health issues). DCFS has been called by the doctors, and she has an indicated report for child neglect against her. Another report is not indicated, specifically stated "father takes care of the children's heatlh care" (leaving out that I am violating court orders when I do so).
This seems to have gone a little on the deep end, so to bring it more to a more superficial, but important level. Once my wife cut her hair very short (an original question of the OP). Not being as lavish enough in my praise of the cut, she berated me about "everybody loves my hair," and proceeded to berate me for being "abnormal." "You're not married to everyone. You are married to me," I responed. Meanwhile, she would berate me for dressing the way she liked, shaving as often as she liked, having my hair cut like she liked, etc. "You are only doing it to please me," she ranted. As you can see, I was quite the abusive husband.
So when she tried to come crying back, no, I said, no thank you. Had enough. Don't need to be treated as an alien in my own house, an intruder in my children's lives (the children have a radically different opinion than mom on this matter), nor a married man in a marriage with a single woman.
OK- I am new to Orthodoxy so my opinion is that-an opinion.
In an ideal world girls would grow into womenhood and have good fathers that protect, care for them and desire the best for them. But we don't live in an ideal world. Many fathers are anything but protective, caring and loving (Both my step and biological fathers are a good example of that lack but I won't go into it). In that case to obey your earthly father would be disobeying the laws of God. Then respect needs to be emphasized. Even if your father does not wish the best for you, you have to maintain a level of respect for them as your father. And in that case the authority of your spiritual father must be more closely paid attention to.
Both my fathers would rather I wasn't Orthodox and if they could, would demand I go back to attending a Pentacostal church. It is a little different for me since I am married and my husband desires to be Orthodox. But the principal is similar to my mind. Your father might not even be a Christian at all, in which case you can't decide to be an atheist in order to please him. Everything needs to be approached in prayer. And from my own life experience- there is always room to respect and honor your parents more. But that doesn't mean that you have to OBEY them-do what they want you to do as an adult.
I'm not so new to Orthodoxy, but I would say your opinion is right on and exactly said.
"Obeying" my husband is a separate issue from being in submission to him. I am in submission to my husband. But he has the great weight of being the head of the family. For us it means that when the rubber hits the road and we disagree on something that I will respect his wishes (if they do not violate my own conscience or faith) and allow him the "deciding voice." Marriage can't be a democracy where everyone has an "equal vote" or where you take turns leading for terms/issues. That leads to resentment and a stalemate when you have diverging opinions.
My husband is the head of our household. I would not have married him if I didn't think he was capable of filling that role well. Has this meant that we have done things I disagreed with? Maybe a handful of times in 13 years. My husband doesn't take his role as head of the house as a license to do whatever he wants. He takes the role seriously and if I disagree it is him it is his responsibilty to find out why and discuss it with me rather than issuing an "edict."
Wisely said again (and you too, Starlight, Jonathan, si2008, and Mr. Y).