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Author Topic: What a Great Dad!  (Read 8158 times) Average Rating: 0
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GabrieltheCelt
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« on: March 03, 2009, 04:44:49 PM »

If I'm ever blessed to be a father, I seriously hope and pray I'll be like this man.  "Oh those boys are much too much!" Cheesy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A2Ap3DyvLg
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« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2009, 05:46:36 PM »

Yeah, acting like an idiot is an essential part of being a good father. (I am quite serious) Looking "cool" isn't nearly as important as being a good dad.
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« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2009, 05:50:54 PM »

That's hilarious.  No, I'd never do that in public, regardless of the number of girls I may be blessed with as daughters.  A good message though: an active father is a connected one, to the kids benefit.
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« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2009, 06:35:41 PM »

Who dat man? He no eejit, he one SERIOUSLY cool dude!
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2009, 06:51:26 PM »

Yeah, acting like an idiot is an essential part of being a good father. (I am quite serious) Looking "cool" isn't nearly as important as being a good dad.
Ouch, Q, very ouch!  Call me an idiot, but I thought the conveyed message is for fathers to play a more active role in their kids' lives.  Playing like a cheerleader was only for emphasis. 
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« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2009, 06:58:54 PM »

No, really you do act like an idiot for your kids on a regular basis. Don't tell me you wouldn't feel like an idiot for telling a story with all the silly voices-even girly ones. Or to sing silly songs at the top of your lungs, or play "pirate" or other various silly things. If you worry about looking like an idiot you are no fun as a parent.
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« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2009, 07:00:26 PM »

Not to mention how excited you get about your children's bowel movements Roll Eyes No, we parents are not cool-we lose the cool quotient as soon as the positive test come up.
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« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2009, 07:09:28 PM »

I suppose it's all about the attitude?  I know plenty of cool and hip dads.  Maybe not by Hollywood standards, but mos' def' cool and hip.  Juxtapose that with the image conscience father who resembles a board with a suit and I'll go for the 'idiot' any day.
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« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2009, 07:14:31 PM »

I suppose it's all about the attitude?  I know plenty of cool and hip dads.  Maybe not by Hollywood standards, but mos' def' cool and hip.  Juxtapose that with the image conscience father who resembles a board with a suit and I'll go for the 'idiot' any day. 

That's what she's getting at.

Yeah, acting like an idiot is an essential part of being a good father. (I am quite serious) Looking "cool" isn't nearly as important as being a good dad.

Well, I guess I got a 27 year head-start on being an idiot; hope that means I'll make a great father!
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« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2009, 07:22:34 PM »

Making an idiot of yourself is sometimes a great way to deal with kids. My younger brother once got in trouble at school for fighting and our Mother got called into the Principal. She arrived in a Terri Towling dressing gown and fluffy slippers. Needless to say, my brother never ever got into trouble at school again.
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« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2009, 07:27:49 PM »


That's what she's getting at.



 Oh!  Sorry Quin, I totally misunderstood you.  Thanks for pointing that out Cleveland!  Looks like I'm getting a head start on the whole 'idiot' thing. Tongue
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« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2009, 11:38:46 PM »

Making an idiot of yourself is sometimes a great way to deal with kids. My younger brother once got in trouble at school for fighting and our Mother got called into the Principal. She arrived in a Terri Towling dressing gown and fluffy slippers. Needless to say, my brother never ever got into trouble at school again.

Theo you have made my day Cheesy
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« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2009, 11:50:15 PM »


That's what she's getting at.



 Oh!  Sorry Quin, I totally misunderstood you.  Thanks for pointing that out Cleveland!  Looks like I'm getting a head start on the whole 'idiot' thing. Tongue

No problem Grin I needed a video of myself screaming like a howler monkey to make my kids laugh to illustrate my point. Or maybe a video of my husband singing songs about pooping and peeing to my kids. Roll Eyes He used to sing the song "Push it" by Salt and Pepa while we were potty training our eldest.
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« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2009, 01:26:57 AM »

No, we parents are not cool-we lose the cool quotient as soon as the positive test come up.

Or, when we become step-parents!
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« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2009, 01:40:24 AM »

There's another commercial where a dad plays a Super Soaker battle with his son.  That's the father I'm aspiring to be...lol
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« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2009, 01:45:14 AM »

There's another commercial where a dad plays a Super Soaker battle with his son.  That's the father I'm aspiring to be...lol

...and here he is!  Another great dad!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fhnrtlckm0&feature=related
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« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2009, 01:52:56 AM »

^ My husband would totally do that with our kids. He also likes to help the kids throw snowballs against the dining room window and scare the heck out of me.  Roll Eyes
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« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2009, 02:00:52 AM »

Not to mention how excited you get about your children's bowel movements Roll Eyes No, we parents are not cool-we lose the cool quotient as soon as the positive test come up.

Yes, the interesting conversations you have. Cheesy  My older son, when I called from work (I always called during the day), when he was 1, couldn't say much, but just repeated "pi-pi" "ca-ca" "ta-ta" ("father in Romanian).

I actually hate these commercials.  Why?   Because the government throws a few million to this and things like the marriage initiative in the latest budget, but spends tens or hundreds of millions in the father-ectomy industry known as the divorce court. A couple years ago some state in New England had some money on its hands, and sent Fathers Day cards to all the Fathers who had paid child support.  The state was innundated with angry letters in response: said one father "I"ve paid without fail for six years, and have never seen my daughter.  But when I ask the state to rectify that, you say "no, we don't do that."  Here in Illinois, where interference with visitation is allegedly a crime, I was told by the clerk of the court that "it's a law, but we don't enforce it."  Some study years ago found that 40% of custodial mothers admitted interferring with visitation to "punish" the father.  That's just those who admit: what of those who don't admit it?  Now the government is worried that the married have now dipped below the 50% mark, and dropping.  (taking the census in 1990, I already saw an increase in unmarried households with kids).  I know many who have children, are living with the mother, and have no intention "to be snared into marriage."  I can't fault their logic.

Meanwhile I have the bigger problem that my sons have expressed that they are afraid of getting married.

But that aside, the examples in the commercials are great.
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« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2009, 02:10:56 AM »

^ My husband would totally do that with our kids. He also likes to help the kids throw snowballs against the dining room window and scare the heck out of me.  Roll Eyes

Did you grow up with brothers, Quinault? If so, you'd know that there are certain inviolable characteristics of the male of the species which are not determined or modified by education, race, color or creed. Never quite growing up, getting up the noses of the females of the species, and having a preoccupation with bodily functions are but three. Conversely, teenage (and older) girls, especially those who do not have brothers, and/or have not attended co-ed schools, get far too "serious" for their own good. So when it comes to life with a man (married or "co-habiting"), these girls have a LOT to learn. Been there, done that.  Grin Grin
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« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2009, 02:12:45 AM »

My two brothers are afraid of even being in a relationship at all. I have actually been married longer than my parents were and well before my mom and step father were married as long as my husband and I have been they separated due to infidelity. They later got back together, but nonetheless they were a heartbeat away from another divorce. (My step father was getting a divorce when he met my mom).

I wish that there was more emphasis on the fact that in order to be good parents you have to be good spouses first. Too many men and women neglect their marriages or let them fall apart altogether. To be a good dad you need to be a good husband, to be a good mother you need to be a good wife. But if both parties aren't willing to work together they may not be able to make it work at all.

My ex-sister-in-law crushed my brother in law. They couldn't conceive on their own so they started the adoption process. They were granted/given twin biracial boys in December 05(they would be about 3 or so now since they were my younger daughters age). Then at the end of January 06 she announced she had been having serial affairs for the last year and was leaving my brother in law for her current boyfriend and was taking the boys with her and he could do "nothing about it." What did he do? He called the adoption agency (a christian one) and informed them that they were getting divorced. This was a violation of the adoption contract so they had to take the boys back-but they didn't get their adoption fee back. It is sad, he lost his wife and his sons in a moment.
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« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2009, 02:14:34 AM »

^ My husband would totally do that with our kids. He also likes to help the kids throw snowballs against the dining room window and scare the heck out of me.  Roll Eyes

Did you grow up with brothers, Quinault? If so, you'd know that there are certain inviolable characteristics of the male of the species which are not determined or modified by education, race, color or creed. Never quite growing up, getting up the noses of the females of the species, and having a preoccupation with bodily functions are but three. Conversely, teenage (and older) girls, especially those who do not have brothers, and/or have not attended co-ed schools, get far too "serious" for their own good. So when it comes to life with a man (married or "co-habiting"), these girls have a LOT to learn. Been there, done that.  Grin Grin

I have twin older brothers (they are 4 years older and two older step brothers (5.5 and 2 years older).

And my husband is the oldest with three younger brothers. He used to scare them with stories about a brother that lived in the toilet laugh

I am a little lost-which "girls" are you referring to?
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« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2009, 02:24:04 AM »

My girls are already well aware of the male obsession with bodily fluids since their nearly 2 year old brother is obsessed with freeing his penis from his diaper so he can pee on the floor (or couch, or bed...you get the idea). Or taking off his diaper so he can poop on the lid of the toilet. Or his interest in the cat box, or anything that comes out of either end of our dogs.
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« Reply #22 on: March 04, 2009, 02:42:24 AM »

Seriously...this kind of thing doesn't get the air time as other things (divorce court and "imbecile dads" of sitcom infamy), but this kind of thing is exactly right. Spot on.

I think I was just sort of born ready for this.  A background in theater comes in great when it's make-believe time.  A propensity towards funny voices and accents is great for story time as Quinault said, and total exaggeration makes a three year-old feel like the most important thing in the world.  ("You made a RAINBOW?  Out of macaROni?!?  Oh, my GOODness!!"  <hands on cheeks a la Home Alone, eyes wide, mouth gaping, etc>).  The "I'm gonna getcha look" that has her collapse into giggles before you run at her with "tickle claws" outstretched, fake monster growl going full blast, which prompts the beaming smile and shriek of delight right before she blitzes "away" from you down the hall.

It's just my experience, but I don't see how guys who father kids who can't be like this with their kids live with themselves.  It is all about letting yourself go completely so that you can be totally in that little person's world.  Awesome vids, Gabe.  Thanks.
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« Reply #23 on: March 04, 2009, 02:45:45 AM »

My girls are already well aware of the male obsession with bodily fluids since their nearly 2 year old brother is obsessed with freeing his penis from his diaper so he can pee on the floor (or couch, or bed...you get the idea). Or taking off his diaper so he can poop on the lid of the toilet. Or his interest in the cat box, or anything that comes out of either end of our dogs.

You're learning! And your girls are learning!

As for the "girls" I was referring to, these are the sorts of girls who, among other things, think they can change their boyfriend's/husband's behavior, and definitely can't appreciate a good fart joke. Or a good fart. Forget it, sisters. Learn to laugh along with it, 'cos the boys ain't gonna change.

(Moderators, you're welcome to delete this last statement if you feel it's too off-color.)
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« Reply #24 on: March 04, 2009, 02:49:58 AM »

Thinking you can change anyone of either sex is fruitless in my opinion. Next week I find out if our son will have a little brother to have newspaper sword fights with in a few years. Or maybe he will have another "little mother" to chase him around yelling; "No Ollie no!" My husband Bear is on pins and needles hoping for a "hot dog" over a "hamburger." Poor guy won't know until he calls me that evening Cheesy (or morning for him actually)
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« Reply #25 on: March 04, 2009, 02:52:23 AM »

I never got along very well with girls when I was a kid, and I still don't relate to women very well even now. Females have and will likely continue to confuse me tremendously. My girls are a different story since I am their example, but other girls-notsomuch.
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« Reply #26 on: March 04, 2009, 02:57:35 AM »

My two brothers are afraid of even being in a relationship at all. I have actually been married longer than my parents were and well before my mom and step father were married as long as my husband and I have been they separated due to infidelity. They later got back together, but nonetheless they were a heartbeat away from another divorce. (My step father was getting a divorce when he met my mom).

I wish that there was more emphasis on the fact that in order to be good parents you have to be good spouses first. Too many men and women neglect their marriages or let them fall apart altogether. To be a good dad you need to be a good husband, to be a good mother you need to be a good wife. But if both parties aren't willing to work together they may not be able to make it work at all.

That's why, of course, children are the fruit of a union.  At least, that is how it is supposed to be.

My ex one time told me that our relationship should be through our sons.  I told her straight out that it was in their interest that we stay together, but that wasn't their job or burden, and I wouldn't place it on them.  Less than a month before she filed for divorce, we was hinting about having another kid.  Less than a year latter she was doing all sort of manipulative behavior through our sons in order to get back together (her best friend years later revealed that on her own: knowing my ex, I knew what she was up to, and wanted no part of it). Btw, back when we were supposed doing fine, she would openly say that children don't need their father.  

Sorry about your brother in law, but it could have been worse: if the adoption had gone through, odds are that he would lose his son and wife while rewarding (through "child support") her adultery.  Hopefully she was the problem with the conception (my ex was), and he can find some one more worthy and have children in an entact home.

They had the ex husband of the octo-mom on yesterday. Bet he's glad he got outta there.
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« Reply #27 on: March 04, 2009, 02:59:46 AM »

My girls are already well aware of the male obsession with bodily fluids since their nearly 2 year old brother is obsessed with freeing his penis from his diaper so he can pee on the floor (or couch, or bed...you get the idea). Or taking off his diaper so he can poop on the lid of the toilet. Or his interest in the cat box, or anything that comes out of either end of our dogs.

You're learning! And your girls are learning!

As for the "girls" I was referring to, these are the sorts of girls who, among other things, think they can change their boyfriend's/husband's behavior, and definitely can't appreciate a good fart joke. Or a good fart. Forget it, sisters. Learn to laugh along with it, 'cos the boys ain't gonna change.

(Moderators, you're welcome to delete this last statement if you feel it's too off-color.)

How about off scent? Tongue
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« Reply #28 on: March 04, 2009, 03:02:00 AM »

My two brothers are afraid of even being in a relationship at all. I have actually been married longer than my parents were and well before my mom and step father were married as long as my husband and I have been they separated due to infidelity. They later got back together, but nonetheless they were a heartbeat away from another divorce. (My step father was getting a divorce when he met my mom).

I wish that there was more emphasis on the fact that in order to be good parents you have to be good spouses first. Too many men and women neglect their marriages or let them fall apart altogether. To be a good dad you need to be a good husband, to be a good mother you need to be a good wife. But if both parties aren't willing to work together they may not be able to make it work at all.

That's why, of course, children are the fruit of a union.  At least, that is how it is supposed to be.

My ex one time told me that our relationship should be through our sons.  I told her straight out that it was in their interest that we stay together, but that wasn't their job or burden, and I wouldn't place it on them.  Less than a month before she filed for divorce, we was hinting about having another kid.  Less than a year latter she was doing all sort of manipulative behavior through our sons in order to get back together (her best friend years later revealed that on her own: knowing my ex, I knew what she was up to, and wanted no part of it). Btw, back when we were supposed doing fine, she would openly say that children don't need their father. 

Sorry about your brother in law, but it could have been worse: if the adoption had gone through, odds are that he would lose his son and wife while rewarding (through "child support") her adultery.  Hopefully she was the problem with the conception (my ex was), and he can find some one more worthy and have children in an entact home.

They had the ex husband of the octo-mom on yesterday. Bet he's glad he got outta there.

No, he was the one with fertility issues. The adoption was actually completely done when she left him. But because they split within "x" amount of time they violated their adoption contract. I am glad that there was that clause in the contract. She was really angry when he informed them that they were divorcing, she wanted to keep the kids. If he hadn't told the agency they never would have had to take the kids back. Then within a year she tried to get back together with him (because they already paid for an adoption of two kids they could have gotten another baby or two if they were back together). She actually tried to pull his pastor into it. The pastor tried to demand that my brother in law drive from PA to Maine to reconcile with her! (He is in the Navy and had a change of duty station. She stayed with her boyfriend in Maine and he went to PA) He saw thru it and actually remarried a lovely woman last August. I have never seen the man happier in my life, and I have been in the family for over 15 years now. I think they will likely try to have some kiddos in the near future.
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« Reply #29 on: March 04, 2009, 03:10:24 AM »

My two brothers are afraid of even being in a relationship at all. I have actually been married longer than my parents were and well before my mom and step father were married as long as my husband and I have been they separated due to infidelity. They later got back together, but nonetheless they were a heartbeat away from another divorce. (My step father was getting a divorce when he met my mom).

I wish that there was more emphasis on the fact that in order to be good parents you have to be good spouses first. Too many men and women neglect their marriages or let them fall apart altogether. To be a good dad you need to be a good husband, to be a good mother you need to be a good wife. But if both parties aren't willing to work together they may not be able to make it work at all.

That's why, of course, children are the fruit of a union.  At least, that is how it is supposed to be.

My ex one time told me that our relationship should be through our sons.  I told her straight out that it was in their interest that we stay together, but that wasn't their job or burden, and I wouldn't place it on them.  Less than a month before she filed for divorce, we was hinting about having another kid.  Less than a year latter she was doing all sort of manipulative behavior through our sons in order to get back together (her best friend years later revealed that on her own: knowing my ex, I knew what she was up to, and wanted no part of it). Btw, back when we were supposed doing fine, she would openly say that children don't need their father. 

Sorry about your brother in law, but it could have been worse: if the adoption had gone through, odds are that he would lose his son and wife while rewarding (through "child support") her adultery.  Hopefully she was the problem with the conception (my ex was), and he can find some one more worthy and have children in an entact home.

They had the ex husband of the octo-mom on yesterday. Bet he's glad he got outta there.

No, he was the one with fertility issues. The adoption was actually completely done when she left him. But because they split within "x" amount of time they violated their adoption contract. I am glad that there was that clause in the contract. She was really angry when he informed them that they were divorcing, she wanted to keep the kids. Then within a year she tried to get back together with him (because they already paid for an adoption of two kids they could have gotten another baby or two if they were back together). She actually tried to pull his pastor into it. The pastor tried to demand that my brother in law drive from PA to Maine to reconcile with her! He saw thru it and actually remarried a lovely woman last August. I have never seen the man happier in my life, and I have been in the family for over 15 years now. I think they will likely try to have some kiddos in the near future.

Many years to them!

I take it that the marriage between the ex and the latest "greener grass" didn't work out?  How typical.  I take it that Mr. Wonderful didn't want to step instead and follow up with the adoption.  Why anyone would wish that on the kids....

What was the pastor thinking?  My ex's (former) Father confessor told me that he and I would have to have a serious talk if I even thought about taking her back.

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« Reply #30 on: March 04, 2009, 03:13:52 AM »

Being a currently single mommy to two girls and a boy I have some insight. All kids need their dad. Their dad, not a male role model to fill in the gap that can change whenever mommy wants a new boyfriend/husband, they need Dad.

My girls need daddy a lot. But the need a boy has for his dad is just heartbreaking even in a little guy like mine. Ollie needs that male interaction. I can wrestle, I can play, I can cuddle. But the need for a dad is beyond what a dad does with his son, it is about being a man-the man in a little boy's life. My son beelines for any men in a room because he needs that male interaction. I am glad that my son is separated from his Baba now when he is younger rather than later when he is less of a baby. Time with your child is important, no matter what you do with them. Just laying and cuddling while reading books (even if it isn't the same book) is essential. So the PSA are great, but they barely scratch the surface of the importance of being a father.
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« Reply #31 on: March 04, 2009, 03:15:00 AM »

The ex didn't marry her boyfriend. He was much older than her (she was in her mid twenties and he was in his late 40's) so I doubt he even wanted kids.
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« Reply #32 on: March 04, 2009, 03:39:08 AM »

My last two cents on Dad's (I think LOL)

Girls need a father so that they can see how women should be treated. If daddy ignores them and is rude/mean to mommy then they think that is a "normal" relationship and tend to find a husband that treats them accordingly. Girls need a father so that they can learn what love is without sexuality. Otherwise they mistake attention for love later in life. Attention wanes, love lasts. Men/fathers show their love for their wives in every little touch, word and action. Taking out the trash is love in action Smiley and should be appreciated as such. Men aren't as verbal about these things in general so seeing it in action teaches little girls what love is. You don't have to tell your teenage daughter that she is worth more than a sexual conquest when she is 16. You show her that you value her as the vibrant, intelligent, beautiful person she is on the inside as well as outside by taking the time to talk to her and listen from the moment she is born. And yes, act a fool to help her succeed and learn.

But by that token if mommy doesn't see the value of a daddy the daughters are already in trouble because they are likely to pick up the same attitude.
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« Reply #33 on: March 04, 2009, 04:26:57 PM »

My last two cents on Dad's (I think LOL)

Girls need a father so that they can see how women should be treated. If daddy ignores them and is rude/mean to mommy then they think that is a "normal" relationship and tend to find a husband that treats them accordingly. Girls need a father so that they can learn what love is without sexuality. Otherwise they mistake attention for love later in life. Attention wanes, love lasts. Men/fathers show their love for their wives in every little touch, word and action. Taking out the trash is love in action Smiley and should be appreciated as such. Men aren't as verbal about these things in general so seeing it in action teaches little girls what love is. You don't have to tell your teenage daughter that she is worth more than a sexual conquest when she is 16. You show her that you value her as the vibrant, intelligent, beautiful person she is on the inside as well as outside by taking the time to talk to her and listen from the moment she is born. And yes, act a fool to help her succeed and learn.

But by that token if mommy doesn't see the value of a daddy the daughters are already in trouble because they are likely to pick up the same attitude.

Yes, you are right: my ex's many problems stem from the horrible relationship she had with her own father.  That's a problem I have with how my ex lives her life: if she doesn't care that our sons see her being used like a door mat, I care.  I have to say that I have thanked God many times that we didn't have a daughter, for the reasons you say Quinault.

Btw, I've noticed that you and your family have seemed to come along nicely in Orthodoxy.
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« Reply #34 on: March 04, 2009, 04:45:14 PM »

Thanks!
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« Reply #35 on: March 04, 2009, 04:54:53 PM »


It's just my experience, but I don't see how guys who father kids who can't be like this with their kids live with themselves.  It is all about letting yourself go completely so that you can be totally in that little person's world.  Awesome vids, Gabe.  Thanks.

I know what you mean.  My father is not the most emotionally accessible or even approachable person...unless you're under the age of 9.  Then he's a joy to be around.  It was easy to forget that he was like that with my siblings and I at some time, but we see it when he's interacting with my nieces and nephews.

I simply cannot imagine NOT being like that with any children in my life, let alone my own (someday!).
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« Reply #36 on: March 06, 2009, 12:29:52 AM »

My last two cents on Dad's (I think LOL)

Girls need a father so that they can see how women should be treated. If daddy ignores them and is rude/mean to mommy then they think that is a "normal" relationship and tend to find a husband that treats them accordingly. Girls need a father so that they can learn what love is without sexuality. Otherwise they mistake attention for love later in life. Attention wanes, love lasts. Men/fathers show their love for their wives in every little touch, word and action. Taking out the trash is love in action Smiley and should be appreciated as such. Men aren't as verbal about these things in general so seeing it in action teaches little girls what love is. You don't have to tell your teenage daughter that she is worth more than a sexual conquest when she is 16. You show her that you value her as the vibrant, intelligent, beautiful person she is on the inside as well as outside by taking the time to talk to her and listen from the moment she is born. And yes, act a fool to help her succeed and learn.

But by that token if mommy doesn't see the value of a daddy the daughters are already in trouble because they are likely to pick up the same attitude.

Interestingly, my step-daughter - we came into each other's lives when she was 11&1/2; her natural father, who she was very close to, had died 3 years earlier - married a man alot like me. My step-son considers me his only dad because he was only 3 when his father died.

Of course, the word "step" only matters in terms of telling the facts of our lives together. They are both my children and although my daughter calls me by my first name and my son calls me dad, they both consider me their father.

I personally HATE that my priest always refers to Joseph as Jesus' foster-father, as if he was some kind of ward of the state. Joseph was his step-dad.

Anyway, it doesn't matter if you can be goofy with your kids or not, or be the perfect role model, it's whether you are authentic and love them. When they are grown, as my kids are now, THAT is what they remember.
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« Reply #37 on: March 06, 2009, 12:48:04 AM »

I personally HATE that my priest always refers to Joseph as Jesus' foster-father, as if he was some kind of ward of the state. Joseph was his step-dad.

Maybe the priest sees a necessary difference between "foster dad" and "step-dad."  To me, a step-dad carries the assumption of full marital affairs with the mother.  A foster dad does not require such affairs (so as to indirectly say that the Theotokos is ever-Virgin).  In relationship with the children however (along with biological father), they both carry the same exact meaning, i.e. father.
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« Reply #38 on: March 06, 2009, 01:00:21 AM »

I personally HATE that my priest always refers to Joseph as Jesus' foster-father, as if he was some kind of ward of the state. Joseph was his step-dad.


Maybe the priest sees a necessary difference between "foster dad" and "step-dad."  To me, a step-dad carries the assumption of full marital affairs with the mother.  A foster dad does not require such affairs (so as to indirectly say that the Theotokos is ever-Virgin).  In relationship with the children however (along with biological father), they both carry the same exact
meaning, i.e. father.

I don't know, most foster-parent couples engage in conjugal relations. I don't know that foster vs. step, preserves any dogmatic emphasis.
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« Reply #39 on: March 06, 2009, 01:16:47 AM »

Sorry, I decided to edit my post.

All I will say, is be sensitive to those who fall outside the norm in terms of family situation in your parish.
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« Reply #40 on: March 06, 2009, 07:56:28 AM »

I personally HATE that my priest always refers to Joseph as Jesus' foster-father, as if he was some kind of ward of the state. Joseph was his step-dad.


Maybe the priest sees a necessary difference between "foster dad" and "step-dad."  To me, a step-dad carries the assumption of full marital affairs with the mother.  A foster dad does not require such affairs (so as to indirectly say that the Theotokos is ever-Virgin).  In relationship with the children however (along with biological father), they both carry the same exact meaning, i.e. father.

I don't know, most foster-parent couples engage in conjugal relations. I don't know that foster vs. step, preserves any dogmatic emphasis.

Oh yes, it does. St Joseph is always referred to in Orthodox tradition as "the Betrothed", and never as "the Husband" of the Mother of God. Foster-father, as seemingly clumsy as this term is, is a far more acceptable term in terms of doctrine and theology than stepfather.
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« Reply #41 on: March 06, 2009, 09:54:00 AM »

My girls are already well aware of the male obsession with bodily fluids since their nearly 2 year old brother is obsessed with freeing his penis from his diaper so he can pee on the floor (or couch, or bed...you get the idea). Or taking off his diaper so he can poop on the lid of the toilet. Or his interest in the cat box, or anything that comes out of either end of our dogs.

You're learning! And your girls are learning!

As for the "girls" I was referring to, these are the sorts of girls who, among other things, think they can change their boyfriend's/husband's behavior, and definitely can't appreciate a good fart joke. Or a good fart. Forget it, sisters. Learn to laugh along with it, 'cos the boys ain't gonna change.

(Moderators, you're welcome to delete this last statement if you feel it's too off-color.)
The link on OzGeorge's Man Cold thread poped up how woman get away with this sort of thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4eEj1lzPkk&NR=1
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« Reply #42 on: March 06, 2009, 03:46:27 PM »

I personally HATE that my priest always refers to Joseph as Jesus' foster-father, as if he was some kind of ward of the state. Joseph was his step-dad.


Maybe the priest sees a necessary difference between "foster dad" and "step-dad."  To me, a step-dad carries the assumption of full marital affairs with the mother.  A foster dad does not require such affairs (so as to indirectly say that the Theotokos is ever-Virgin).  In relationship with the children however (along with biological father), they both carry the same exact
meaning, i.e. father.

I don't know, most foster-parent couples engage in conjugal relations. I don't know that foster vs. step, preserves any dogmatic emphasis.

But the Virgin Mary wasn't a foster mother, but a biological one, so we're not dealing with a "couple" here.  To call Joseph a "stepfather" seems to me to completely exclude the ever-virginity of the Virgin.  What do you think?  Is it right based on the relationship between Sts. Joseph and Mary to call Joseph a stepfather?  Are there any cases where a stepfather is not in conjugal relations with his spouse?

Maybe, more accurately, Joseph was like a "godfather."
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« Reply #43 on: March 06, 2009, 05:48:18 PM »

Well, the words step-father and foster-father indicate a relation with a child and say nothing about the relationship of the parents toward each other sexually.

Foster-parents are in an arrangement with the state to care for children lacking parental involvement, whether through difficulty, neglect or abuse. Jesus suffered none of these issues as the divine Child of Mary. The term, foster-father, to me is associated with the government's child services. Also, most foster parents have conjugal relations with each other, so what doctrinal clarification is one perserving with this term?

Step-parents are in a relationship with children via adoption (if the child is an orphan) or via a relationship with one of the biological parents (that relationship usually, but NOT NECESSARILY, involves conjugal relations with the natural parent of the child). The term step-parent at least implies love; love for the spouses for each other (apart from any conjugal relations in most,not necessarily all, of these relationships) and love for the children. Step-father does not necessarily imply conjugal relations between Joseph and Mary. It describes a relationship between Jesus and his earthly dad.

To claim that foster-father preserves the perpetual virginity of the Theotokos is merely an opinion. If you feel more comfortable with it, then use it. But if you really want to be safe, why not refer to St. Joseph as Jesus' Guardian?
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« Reply #44 on: March 06, 2009, 07:11:54 PM »

Well, the words step-father and foster-father indicate a relation with a child and say nothing about the relationship of the parents toward each other sexually.

Foster-parents are in an arrangement with the state to care for children lacking parental involvement, whether through difficulty, neglect or abuse. Jesus suffered none of these issues as the divine Child of Mary. The term, foster-father, to me is associated with the government's child services. Also, most foster parents have conjugal relations with each other, so what doctrinal clarification is one perserving with this term?

Step-parents are in a relationship with children via adoption (if the child is an orphan) or via a relationship with one of the biological parents (that relationship usually, but NOT NECESSARILY, involves conjugal relations with the natural parent of the child). The term step-parent at least implies love; love for the spouses for each other (apart from any conjugal relations in most,not necessarily all, of these relationships) and love for the children. Step-father does not necessarily imply conjugal relations between Joseph and Mary. It describes a relationship between Jesus and his earthly dad.

To claim that foster-father preserves the perpetual virginity of the Theotokos is merely an opinion. If you feel more comfortable with it, then use it. But if you really want to be safe, why not refer to St. Joseph as Jesus' Guardian?

You're right.  I guess it's just a matter of definition.

God bless.
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« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2009, 11:42:33 AM »

If I'm ever blessed to be a father, I seriously hope and pray I'll be like this man.  "Oh those boys are much too much!" Cheesy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A2Ap3DyvLg


Gabriel, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this!  My wife and I have wanted kids for years (we're still trying to get financially established)... and this video makes us even more eager!... we both specialize in silliness!  Grin  When she showed me the video this morning we both laughed for a good solid five minutes, then concluded that it was officially going to be an awesome day!
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« Reply #46 on: April 15, 2009, 11:57:00 AM »

If I'm ever blessed to be a father, I seriously hope and pray I'll be like this man.  "Oh those boys are much too much!" Cheesy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A2Ap3DyvLg


Gabriel, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this!  My wife and I have wanted kids for years (we're still trying to get financially established)
If you wait until you can afford kids, you will never have them.
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« Reply #47 on: April 15, 2009, 12:30:25 PM »

If I'm ever blessed to be a father, I seriously hope and pray I'll be like this man.  "Oh those boys are much too much!" Cheesy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A2Ap3DyvLg


Gabriel, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this!  My wife and I have wanted kids for years (we're still trying to get financially established)
If you wait until you can afford kids, you will never have them.

That's my thought, and you'd be surprised that no matter how poor you can be and no matter how much you sacrifice it never really seems like you've given up too terribly much. 
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« Reply #48 on: April 15, 2009, 02:53:40 PM »

^I have to third this idea. You are never finacially stable enough to have kids. Just make sure you all are in good health (especially future mommy's teeth!) and have jobs that are solid and you are ahead of the game.
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« Reply #49 on: April 16, 2009, 06:37:36 AM »

Gabriel, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this!  My wife and I have wanted kids for years (we're still trying to get financially established)... and this video makes us even more eager!... we both specialize in silliness!  Grin  When she showed me the video this morning we both laughed for a good solid five minutes, then concluded that it was officially going to be an awesome day!

I don't blame you - it's nice to put at least a little bit of money away as savings "just in case" something comes up and only one of you is working.  As the others have said, if you wait until you can "afford" kids, you'll either be waiting until you two are past your child-rearing years, or you won't have any at all.  But it is wise to at least make sure you're on somewhat solid ground before taking the plunge.

Just make sure you all are in good health (especially future mommy's teeth!) and have jobs that are solid and you are ahead of the game.

Amen.
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