I have read all 292 posts in this thread (yeah 7 pages) and i wouldn't have commented other then i think most of you are missing some rli mega things.1...The problem with personal experience
is right to bring up reacting against spanking because of emotionalism. That's what i think people base their reasons on especially if they was hit way too much it makes them knee jerk in the opposite direction or sometimes even it makes people the same with their own kids and justify being way to harsh on them. Both the extremes of people go find random bible verses to back up there position. What better authority to justify a position then a religious one eh??2...The problem with using the OT verses
said that people are citing those verses to justify their position and i agree. There are a tonne of other verses in the OT to do with kids and teens and what you should do and people pick and choose which one they want to follow. "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard". Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death
- Deut 21
The reason people cite random verses is based on a belief they have already got inside themself from their own experience. If they was interested in objective truth then they would look at the whole text and see what the whole religious ethos is not just a few old parts from one culture.3...The problem with "spanking is different to hitting"
... which is what monkvasyl
said. Nah it's not. You might like to tell yourself it is but when a kid who is two or three years old, smacks another kid on the arm or face or head, even if its a "light tap" you tell them what?? YEP...."No
, (insert celebrity fruit name in here) don't hit your brother
" or just "NO hitting!!
". So the definition of what constitutes a hit
or a tap
or a smack
is dependent on whos doing it obviously. That is typical parental lies, self delusion and mixed messages for the kid.... they will grow up lying to themselves and unable to admit when they are wrong thas what your teaching them.4...The problem with the "important thing is consistency"
....which is what Nazarene
brought up. How does this work if your doing something consistently damaging and you don't realise it?? "Whatever you do, make sure it's consistent
"... don't really make any sense then huh??5...The problem with using disapproval and disappointment
mentioned would sometimes sting more than a switch. It's true it does sting kids but isn't good because i never used to think OH there disappointed with what I DID or DONE i used to think OH there disapproving of ME and they dont like me. I don't even care if you tell a small kid "mommy is only cross at what your behaviour but mommy still wuvs you
"..... i think that a kid hears "blah blah blah blah blah yawn blah.... i don't like you"6... The problem with physical punishment. Margaret Anne
said that..."As for a swat on the backside, that was a tactic that brought out quiet defiance in me as a child
," and shes right, it does with some kids, it did to me. Plus then people who use physical punishment to small kids it goes back to argument number 3 which is rubbish as well. SolEX01
made me laugh loud saying that supernanny never smacks...haha.... SHES NOT ALLOWED TO lolOl 7... The problem with time out
is right about this as well....what do you do with a kid who doesn't care about time out??...as a kid, i didn't care about anything, i had no toys of my own nothing of value because it used to get nicked off you from older kids. You couldn't confiscate anything off me, or put me in a room because it wouldn't have no effect on me. One lady in Bristol (a nice lady i feel bad for her now) but she put me on the bottom step to sit there for spitting food at her kid and i stayed there without a problem for aaaaages and then when she told me well done and i got off the step and back to the table to eat, i just smacked the kid in the face. Some kids especially defiant ones like i was, don't care about anything like that.8... The problem with no legal retaliation
said that MK
should allow the same choice to be made by the spankers without the fear of legal action.... is that you have to have laws about physical and emotional abuse and neglect. The only way you can have no fear for the parents is... no laws about it....which means parents would be free totally to do whatever the heck they wanted with their kids and kids would go back to being too vulnerable without anyone being able to be brought to justice for their crimes.9...The problem with the natural consequences
..... is that when people are like "oh i prefer natural consequences
" those are the parents who pander to there kids way to much and even pull them out of the way when a "natural consequence" is about to happen to them lolOl then there kids grow up to never take responsibility and usually are weak and cant cope with life. And i will mention it here because i can't fit it in any other catagory but I disagree with Quinault
on their no negotiation because it could go on forever, comment....if you want obedience, get a dog!!10... The problem with being Orthodox and punishment
is correct, people are mixing up correction with punishment..... i couldn't believe how far the thread got before someone mentioned that!!! I was told recently about the moderation on me when i described it as a sentence
... "its not punishment its correction".... i was like, well it feels the same to me haha... but yeah there is a difference and if Orthodox people believe that sin is a virus
and its all a sickness
when we sin and that God is into healing
.... then that should be the same when it comes to kids and when they do something wrong shouldn't it??? You don't need to be punished.... your just sick and need correction not punishment. Is it just me that can see the two standards in there huh??The answers
....one of the real problems is that children are the center of their parents' world in a wrong and negative way and it annoys the heck out of me!!!! And i think it hurts the kids. You can tell them parents because they are in supermarkets and they talk rli loud like as if they are talking to the kid but really they are talking to everyone else thats listening because the PARENT wants the attention maybe from other parents or maybe just anyone. Its like their kid is their "project" and their being used for the parents to show off. UGH!!! Its a symptom and when ever i have got to know a person that does that, they have ALWAYS been the same type of person and there kid is apparently the center of their world and yet... not. Sadly.
Every kid should be important to their parents but in the right way. Allot of parents are more interested in their parenting style and getting it right NOT because its the best for their kid but because of what they look like to their friends or family or church. That means that their kids real needs gets pushed aside becuase the parent is way to rapped up in themself and what this all means to them....and their ego and their rights as a parent to be free to do what they see fit.
If your kid is important to you then you will actually know who they are and stop being bothered about YOUR opinions on smacking or not smacking or YOUR parenting style and how this all affects YOU and your beliefs.
One of the things that i learnt growing up in various kids homes is that you are invisible, noone cares about you and your not important, you get moved about like a piece of furniture in storage (im not saying that for sympathy, i had a good time growing up, i have got a good point) The reason its good is that it means that you are just a nom like everyone else, nothing special, not precious and you learn to deal with your place in the world. You don't grow up thinking that you are so special and that everyone is going to applaud every time you fart and you don't get rescued from situations by your parents, you just have to learn to deal with them. Dealing with them early on by yourself means that you dont have a crisis when your older when you can REALLy do harm to yourself like drugs and all that stuff because you figured out who you are early on. Now you can see why i think i am lucky to have not had parents from 5 upwards and also to not have had tight boundaries. It did me good, it was good for me personally.
* * * Quotes that just blew me away...seraphim98
For older teens and maybe young adults, public caning for vandalism and similar level offenses is better than jail time.Gorazd
Psychologists would say that the greatest advocates of violent educations are the ones who suffered from that themselves when they were children, and now they subconsciously want to pass on the pain to their own children. I would whether there is some truth to that. IPC
Sometimes it's crucial to spank the child. The other night, I was in a family dinner, and my 2 years old nice was sitting next to me. As soon as the waiter placed the fondue on the table, the baby got excited and and tried to reach it, we told her it burns, but she insisted, and every time we stopped her, she started yelling, and hitting, and crying, she didn't listen to her papa. The last time the baby stood on her chair trying to reach the fondue, her papa spanked her, and the baby sat down immediately, cried a little bit, and after his papa conforted her, she behaved.
What's worst a burnt baby because you don't hit girls, or a safe baby who learned her lesson?
What's better is a responsible adult who don't order fondue when they have a baby out with them or if another person orders it then move the baby away from the danger zone instead of slapping the baby for something an adult can and should deal with.Papist
Being angry is not the worst thing that can happen to a person
wow what planet are you on??