I guess what I'm saying is that the line between "monastic" and "non-monastic" may not be so clear.
When I go to see my Spiritual Father, I am always amazed at the other laity who go to see him. Some are married, some widowed, others single, yet they live ordinary lives in extraordinary ways. Some live in communities together, others live alone. But ultimately, whether married, single, celebate or in community, each one of us is on our own in a very real way before God.
I've always understood that in Orthodoxy, service to the poor is just as important as praying in secret for the world. "Contemplation" and "Ministry" are both "work" in Orthodoxy.
Also I think we all need to accept differences. I don't think there is one way for Orthodox laity to live. There are many different types of plants in God's Garden; and a garden full of nothing but roses would be quite tedious.