Author Topic: OCnet Quotable Quotes  (Read 75920 times)

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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #225 on: August 04, 2012, 11:01:29 AM »
Guess it's common for some linguistialists (a self-created word) to say that Ukrainian and Belarusian is distorted Russian, which is distorted Old Church Slavonic, from which came also distorted languages like Macedonian and it's distorted form, Bulgarian.

Podlachian and Ruthenian on the other hand is distorted Polish, which is distorted Czech, Slovak is distorted Czech also, and Czech is distorted Moravian, which is distorted Sorbian, a form of distorted Serbian, and Serbian is distorted Croatian, which is distorted Serbo-Croatian... In the end the only "clean" language seems to be Slovenian, though one might argue that it's infected by German, although less than, for example, Silesian.

Dirty Slavs.

Offline mabsoota

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #226 on: August 08, 2012, 04:24:24 AM »
for my first entry on this thread:

Quote from: NicholasMyra on 07/08/12 at 01:06:44 PM
To paraphrase Fr. Hopko, they didn't have TV soaps back then. Had to entertain themselves with propaganda saint stories instead.

Offline minasoliman

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #227 on: August 09, 2012, 03:39:39 AM »
I think it went something like this:

God: Hey Mary, can you carry and give birth to the theanthropos?
Mary: Uh, hey I'd really like to, but I already promised you I'm gonna stay a virgin.
God: That's cool. I can make this work without you losing your virginity.
Mary: For serious?
God: Totally. Just say the word and --poof-- you'll have the Son of God inside you.
Mary: Let's do it.
God: Righteous!
;D   :laugh:
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Offline mabsoota

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #228 on: August 09, 2012, 11:18:27 AM »
ha, ha, i remember that one; it gave me a good laugh.

Offline Alpo

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #229 on: August 11, 2012, 10:58:23 AM »
Indeed, I made it in a basic MS paint program. None of that rich-kid paintshop pro for me! However, I used the curving technique rather than straight lines. Straight lines are so scholastic and western! In Orthodoxy we move and bend and curve!

You should be careful with those, as MS stands for "Mormons & Scientology" ;)

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #230 on: August 18, 2012, 02:42:52 AM »
There goes your theory, Mr. Man.

Cracks me up  :D
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Offline mike

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Offline That person

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #232 on: August 25, 2012, 01:30:22 AM »
So if any of you ladies are interested in children, I am pretty fertile. My Mexican teenage boy sperm packs a pretty powerful punch if I do say so myself, my Coptic caramel skinned beauties :) rawr.
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Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #233 on: August 28, 2012, 11:13:48 PM »
man yall quit tryin to be cool. save your money and get this...



you guys clearly arent softball players.

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Offline JamesRottnek

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #234 on: August 31, 2012, 01:44:32 AM »
I do not mean this to be disparaging by any means, but can it be said that modern-day Rabbinic Jews worship the true God even though they reject the doctrine of the Trinity? And the belief that our Lord Jesus Christ is God?

I think I know the answer to this, but I am curious to hear what you all think.
According to what He told the Samaritan woman, yes.

Who's this Jesus guy think He is, telling this heretic things like that?
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Offline Aindriú

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #235 on: August 31, 2012, 06:28:26 PM »

I'm going to need this.

Offline Cognomen

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #236 on: August 31, 2012, 06:31:20 PM »
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Offline neon_knights

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #237 on: September 06, 2012, 10:13:44 PM »
We should have a ladies night here with me as the bartender/personal slave with my cojones snapped off.

Offline Alpo

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #238 on: September 12, 2012, 10:16:10 AM »
I tried some Ethiopian coffee for the first time yesterday morning. I don't know how authentically Ethiopian it was, but I could not sleep until 4 AM.

Offline FormerReformer

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #239 on: September 13, 2012, 02:52:23 PM »
Reason is often seen as an impartial judge but he's really quite amenable to bribes.
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Offline orthonorm

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #240 on: September 13, 2012, 03:04:17 PM »
Reason is often seen as an impartial judge but he's really quite amenable to bribes.

Could you trust any judge who wasn't?
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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #241 on: September 14, 2012, 05:52:43 PM »
If God feels that Father Seraphim has achieved the spiritual heights of a glorified saint, then God will prove it through the miraculous cures he will give through his intercession.

Miracles are not always the sign of Sainthood. Lack of miracles is not always a sign of lack of Sainthood. We are not Roman Catholics. The most important thing for glorification is veneration among the faithful.

 Michael, tell Mount Athos that miracles are not a perquisite for glorifycation.
Have you ever been to Mount Athos?

Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #242 on: September 25, 2012, 05:16:27 AM »
Without money and the language barrier, very few.
You dont need any money or knowledge of the Russian language to get a carnal distraction in Russia. You just need to walk on a street and see the females. The majority of them look like supermodels, according to Western standards, and wear miniskirts even when it snows. And this is not an exaggeration.
You could have even more distractions in the privacy of your home at the computer.  Why are we attacking this man?  Again, perhaps we should consider his intentions pure and pray for his success rather than speak harshly of him. 
I don't think anyone is attacking him, though I personally just find the notion that Russia is "Holier" than America to be little naïve.

An elderly Russian lady once said "America is much holier than Russia because in America, Russians went to church to find a wife instead of other places!".

Offline JamesRottnek

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #243 on: September 26, 2012, 10:28:44 AM »
Reason is often seen as an impartial judge but he's really quite amenable to bribes.

Could you trust any judge who wasn't?
I know a secret about a former Supreme Court Justice.  Can you guess what it is?

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American Spirits - the eco-friendly cigarette.

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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #244 on: September 27, 2012, 11:49:12 AM »
There are many verses that say we are [justified by faith].

(Huge list of random verses with no context whatsoever)

Oooo, look out everybody, it looks like we're gearing up for a...



Offline Rufus

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #245 on: September 27, 2012, 05:22:27 PM »
Yearning for days when people go to priests for help.
I know a priest that took my grandma's cousin and her daughter, in his own car, to see a wizard, recognizing his profession's inherent limitations, I guess. He's a decent guy.

Offline Shiny

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #246 on: September 27, 2012, 06:19:12 PM »
"The clouds are, verily, made of God." - Saint Cumulo of Nimbus
ROFL
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Offline minasoliman

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #247 on: September 27, 2012, 08:09:12 PM »
"The clouds are, verily, made of God." - Saint Cumulo of Nimbus
ROFL

you beat me to it!!! lol...definitely an awesome quote!
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Offline Iconodule

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #248 on: October 01, 2012, 10:53:31 PM »
It's too bad they aren't in the Church because then we'd be able to use excommunication to discipline them...
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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #249 on: October 05, 2012, 06:37:43 AM »
Wonderful to see Christians assert themselves meaningfully and become champions of true, timeless Orthodox spirituality.

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #250 on: October 05, 2012, 04:00:25 PM »
Mortal sin because you had cheese on Friday? If struck down in the moment, you would be put before Christ, and he would say,

"Ye unfaithful servant! Thy charities and mercies art abominable, for thou hath neglected the weightier things when thou consumed those two string cheeses while peckish..."?

I agree it's not right to neglect the fast 'just 'cause', but mortal sin?
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Offline serb1389

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #251 on: October 05, 2012, 09:32:57 PM »
This entire thread is full of great one liners.  These two are particularly great

Are you and Cyrillic by any chance the same person with different accounts?  I know it's breaking the rules and all, but there has to be an explanation as to why we have two relatively new posters, European - who have a sense of humour, a sense of morality, and a sense of sense about them.

If I recall correctly I've chatted with Cyrillic, so either we are two different people, or I should really quit drinking ASAP ;).

One is from Holland and one from Poland. That's NOT the same, even though it might sound so to American ears.

Sometimes, when checking for beer at a local shop and seeing it overloaded with Heinekens, I fail to see the difference ;).
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Offline William

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #252 on: October 14, 2012, 04:14:58 PM »
I stay awake at night wondering, why are they hierodeacons and not diaconomonks, since deacons are already members of the hierarchy, being in major orders. I've asked several bishops, and they all seem to evade the question as if I were asking about ecumenism.
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Offline NicholasMyra

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #253 on: October 20, 2012, 02:26:21 AM »
I also found out that most of the twin studies came from Scandinavia and if you listen to Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion, one might have some doubts about the relevancy of those studies worldwide.
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Offline Shiny

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #254 on: October 22, 2012, 09:30:17 PM »
Can a philosopher be an Orthodox Christian?

What if he believes that reason can prove that there is a God?
What sort of God would reason prove?
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Offline OrthoNoob

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #255 on: October 26, 2012, 05:34:41 PM »
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Offline mabsoota

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #256 on: October 28, 2012, 02:38:21 PM »
from nephi:
Not sure if it's still a problem for you, but this is a problem I definitely have and especially when praying to the Father. I used to have Old Man Trinity icons in my icon corner which helped with this, but I've since felt that they were wrong and took them out. After I took them out I was pretty agitated because I didn't have anything to look at to help keep me from imagining an old man. But lately I've started looking at the Son when praying to the Father, since "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father." It's helped a lot.

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,47530.msg827986.html#msg827986

Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #257 on: October 29, 2012, 09:05:18 PM »
Could you make me an Orthodox Kim Kardashian? Oh wait....she already is.

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #258 on: October 31, 2012, 04:41:19 AM »
I personally pray for the return of the Emperor himself.
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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #259 on: November 03, 2012, 04:59:58 AM »
"April is the cruellest month, breeding
lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
memory and desire, stirring
dull roots with spring rain."
-T.S. Eliot

Offline OrthoNoob

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #260 on: November 03, 2012, 01:59:56 PM »

If your question is why they hate Hellenism (general talking), the reason is very simple. If you have understood Greek civilization...You cannot become gay...
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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #261 on: November 15, 2012, 07:52:04 PM »
I also believe in our uniting under common causes like defending ourselves from infidels and heretics.

Like from those heretics who [don't] believe in papal supremacy or filioque?

Depending which side of the issue you're on.


I'm on Batman's side


Bruce Wayne was raised Episcopalian. Hence, when he recited the creed as a child, he professed the filioque.

But as the World's Greatest Detective, he soon found out the Filioque to be heretical ;)

Offline dcommini

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #262 on: November 21, 2012, 07:29:33 PM »
In short, the Church needs to start teaching remedial math.
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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #263 on: November 23, 2012, 06:09:34 PM »
What's the definition of heterodox? Do you even have to interrogate other Orthodox to find out if they're 100% correct on every point of doctrine?

Yes. Whenever I dine with Orthodox Christians, I quiz them on whether they recognize that the Son and the Holy Spirit are of one essence with the Father, whether they confess that the Virgin is Theotokos and that the very Word was born in the flesh from the virgin, whether they confess that Christ is made known in two natures in contemplation alone, whether they confess two wills and two energies in Christ, whether they give the holy icons the veneration due to them, whether they hold fast to the monarchy of the Father, whether they confess that the Spirit proceeds into existence from the Father alone and is manifested eternally through the Son, whether they confess that some energies of God are eternal whether they confess that God's energies are not identical to his essence, and whether they reject the impious doctrines of Luther, Calvin and the Supposed Infallibility of the wayward bishop of Rome. If they answer no to any of these, then I know to say grace silently, because God will not answer their prayers.
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memory and desire, stirring
dull roots with spring rain."
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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #264 on: November 24, 2012, 01:10:22 AM »
Following the Julian Calendar won't solve anything.  It means you start your fast on November 27 (Gregorian) and don't get to celebrate Thanksgiving until December 6 (Gregorian) which is the Fourth Thursday of November on the Julian Calendar.



Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #265 on: November 25, 2012, 12:57:10 PM »
Those crazy westerners, always adding things to the creed... 

Offline William

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #266 on: November 26, 2012, 10:45:16 PM »
To see examples of people disagreeing about the Church and its teachings, check out this link:

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/
Apart from moral conduct, all that man thinks himself able to do in order to become acceptable to God is mere superstition and religious folly. - Immanuel Kant

Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #267 on: December 01, 2012, 12:00:35 PM »
What to do when they say: "All ye catechumens, depart! Depart, ye catechumens! All ye that are catechumens, depart! Let no catechumens remain! But let us who are of the faithful, again and again, in peace pray to the Lord."?

Make sure you don't block the entrance since most Orthodox people arrive round about that time

Offline minasoliman

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #268 on: December 02, 2012, 05:15:05 PM »
I'm with you, Wyatt; that "dumb sheep" comment was baaad.
Vain existence can never exist, for "unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain." (Psalm 127)

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Offline mike

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Re: OCnet Quotable Quotes
« Reply #269 on: December 02, 2012, 05:57:07 PM »
An Elder (a controversial one) in Greece told me, that I'll receive the name Nathanael when I'm going to be tonsured a monk. I like this name, I'll give it to my son (if I get one)