Topic: OCnet Quotable Quotes

[mike]

Guess it's common for some linguistialists (a self-created word) to say that Ukrainian and Belarusian is distorted Russian, which is distorted Old Church Slavonic, from which came also distorted languages like Macedonian and it's distorted form, Bulgarian.

Podlachian and Ruthenian on the other hand is distorted Polish, which is distorted Czech, Slovak is distorted Czech also, and Czech is distorted Moravian, which is distorted Sorbian, a form of distorted Serbian, and Serbian is distorted Croatian, which is distorted Serbo-Croatian... In the end the only "clean" language seems to be Slovenian, though one might argue that it's infected by German, although less than, for example, Silesian.

Dirty Slavs.

[mabsoota]

for my first entry on this thread:

Quote from: NicholasMyra on 07/08/12 at 01:06:44 PM
To paraphrase Fr. Hopko, they didn't have TV soaps back then. Had to entertain themselves with propaganda saint stories instead.

[minasoliman]

I think it went something like this:

God: Hey Mary, can you carry and give birth to the theanthropos?
Mary: Uh, hey I'd really like to, but I already promised you I'm gonna stay a virgin.
God: That's cool. I can make this work without you losing your virginity.
Mary: For serious?
God: Totally. Just say the word and --poof-- you'll have the Son of God inside you.
Mary: Let's do it.
God: Righteous!

   

[mabsoota]

ha, ha, i remember that one; it gave me a good laugh.

[Alpo]

Indeed, I made it in a basic MS paint program. None of that rich-kid paintshop pro for me! However, I used the curving technique rather than straight lines. Straight lines are so scholastic and western! In Orthodoxy we move and bend and curve!

You should be careful with those, as MS stands for "Mormons & Scientology"

[Justin Kissel]

There goes your theory, Mr. Man.

Cracks me up 

[mike]

In Politics: http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,46449.msg794500.html#msg794500

[That person]

So if any of you ladies are interested in children, I am pretty fertile. My Mexican teenage boy sperm packs a pretty powerful punch if I do say so myself, my Coptic caramel skinned beauties rawr.

[PeterTheAleut]

man yall quit tryin to be cool. save your money and get this...



you guys clearly arent softball players.

My bro has some in the fridge.  I drink it sometimes when I run out of my own urine.

[JamesRottnek]

I do not mean this to be disparaging by any means, but can it be said that modern-day Rabbinic Jews worship the true God even though they reject the doctrine of the Trinity? And the belief that our Lord Jesus Christ is God?

I think I know the answer to this, but I am curious to hear what you all think.

According to what He told the Samaritan woman, yes.

Who's this Jesus guy think He is, telling this heretic things like that?

[Aindriú]

In my experience

[Cognomen]

In my experience

   Added  due to the context.

[neon_knights]

We should have a ladies night here with me as the bartender/personal slave with my cojones snapped off.

[Alpo]

I tried some Ethiopian coffee for the first time yesterday morning. I don't know how authentically Ethiopian it was, but I could not sleep until 4 AM.

[FormerReformer]

Reason is often seen as an impartial judge but he's really quite amenable to bribes.

[orthonorm]

Reason is often seen as an impartial judge but he's really quite amenable to bribes.

Could you trust any judge who wasn't?

[mike]

If God feels that Father Seraphim has achieved the spiritual heights of a glorified saint, then God will prove it through the miraculous cures he will give through his intercession.

Miracles are not always the sign of Sainthood. Lack of miracles is not always a sign of lack of Sainthood. We are not Roman Catholics. The most important thing for glorification is veneration among the faithful.

 Michael, tell Mount Athos that miracles are not a perquisite for glorifycation.

Have you ever been to Mount Athos?

[mike]

Without money and the language barrier, very few.

You dont need any money or knowledge of the Russian language to get a carnal distraction in Russia. You just need to walk on a street and see the females. The majority of them look like supermodels, according to Western standards, and wear miniskirts even when it snows. And this is not an exaggeration.

You could have even more distractions in the privacy of your home at the computer.  Why are we attacking this man?  Again, perhaps we should consider his intentions pure and pray for his success rather than speak harshly of him. 

I don't think anyone is attacking him, though I personally just find the notion that Russia is "Holier" than America to be little naïve.

An elderly Russian lady once said "America is much holier than Russia because in America, Russians went to church to find a wife instead of other places!".

[JamesRottnek]

Reason is often seen as an impartial judge but he's really quite amenable to bribes.

Could you trust any judge who wasn't?

[mike]

There are many verses that say we are [justified by faith].

(Huge list of random verses with no context whatsoever)

Oooo, look out everybody, it looks like we're gearing up for a...

[Rufus]

Yearning for days when people go to priests for help.

I know a priest that took my grandma's cousin and her daughter, in his own car, to see a wizard, recognizing his profession's inherent limitations, I guess. He's a decent guy.

[Shiny]

"The clouds are, verily, made of God." - Saint Cumulo of Nimbus

ROFL

[minasoliman]

"The clouds are, verily, made of God." - Saint Cumulo of Nimbus

ROFL

you beat me to it!!! lol...definitely an awesome quote!

[Iconodule]

It's too bad they aren't in the Church because then we'd be able to use excommunication to discipline them...

[mike]

Wonderful to see Christians assert themselves meaningfully and become champions of true, timeless Orthodox spirituality.

[ZealousZeal]

Mortal sin because you had cheese on Friday? If struck down in the moment, you would be put before Christ, and he would say,

"Ye unfaithful servant! Thy charities and mercies art abominable, for thou hath neglected the weightier things when thou consumed those two string cheeses while peckish..."?

I agree it's not right to neglect the fast 'just 'cause', but mortal sin?

[serb1389]

This entire thread is full of great one liners.  These two are particularly great

Are you and Cyrillic by any chance the same person with different accounts?  I know it's breaking the rules and all, but there has to be an explanation as to why we have two relatively new posters, European - who have a sense of humour, a sense of morality, and a sense of sense about them.

If I recall correctly I've chatted with Cyrillic, so either we are two different people, or I should really quit drinking ASAP .

One is from Holland and one from Poland. That's NOT the same, even though it might sound so to American ears.

Sometimes, when checking for beer at a local shop and seeing it overloaded with Heinekens, I fail to see the difference .

[William]

I stay awake at night wondering, why are they hierodeacons and not diaconomonks, since deacons are already members of the hierarchy, being in major orders. I've asked several bishops, and they all seem to evade the question as if I were asking about ecumenism.

[NicholasMyra]

I also found out that most of the twin studies came from Scandinavia and if you listen to Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion, one might have some doubts about the relevancy of those studies worldwide.

[Shiny]

Can a philosopher be an Orthodox Christian?

What if he believes that reason can prove that there is a God?

What sort of God would reason prove?

[OrthoNoob]

That's not a very nice thing to do.

[mabsoota]

from nephi:
Not sure if it's still a problem for you, but this is a problem I definitely have and especially when praying to the Father. I used to have Old Man Trinity icons in my icon corner which helped with this, but I've since felt that they were wrong and took them out. After I took them out I was pretty agitated because I didn't have anything to look at to help keep me from imagining an old man. But lately I've started looking at the Son when praying to the Father, since "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father." It's helped a lot.

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,47530.msg827986.html#msg827986

[mike]

Could you make me an Orthodox Kim Kardashian? Oh wait....she already is.

[Cyrillic]

I personally pray for the return of the Emperor himself.

[Cyrillic]

Orthodoxy is a 100% Greek invention.

[OrthoNoob]

If your question is why they hate Hellenism (general talking), the reason is very simple. If you have understood Greek civilization...You cannot become gay...

[mike]

I also believe in our uniting under common causes like defending ourselves from infidels and heretics.

Like from those heretics who [don't] believe in papal supremacy or filioque?

Depending which side of the issue you're on.

I'm on Batman's side

Bruce Wayne was raised Episcopalian. Hence, when he recited the creed as a child, he professed the filioque.

But as the World's Greatest Detective, he soon found out the Filioque to be heretical

[dcommini]

In short, the Church needs to start teaching remedial math.

[Cyrillic]

What's the definition of heterodox? Do you even have to interrogate other Orthodox to find out if they're 100% correct on every point of doctrine?

Yes. Whenever I dine with Orthodox Christians, I quiz them on whether they recognize that the Son and the Holy Spirit are of one essence with the Father, whether they confess that the Virgin is Theotokos and that the very Word was born in the flesh from the virgin, whether they confess that Christ is made known in two natures in contemplation alone, whether they confess two wills and two energies in Christ, whether they give the holy icons the veneration due to them, whether they hold fast to the monarchy of the Father, whether they confess that the Spirit proceeds into existence from the Father alone and is manifested eternally through the Son, whether they confess that some energies of God are eternal whether they confess that God's energies are not identical to his essence, and whether they reject the impious doctrines of Luther, Calvin and the Supposed Infallibility of the wayward bishop of Rome. If they answer no to any of these, then I know to say grace silently, because God will not answer their prayers.

[mike]

Following the Julian Calendar won't solve anything.  It means you start your fast on November 27 (Gregorian) and don't get to celebrate Thanksgiving until December 6 (Gregorian) which is the Fourth Thursday of November on the Julian Calendar.

[mike]

Those crazy westerners, always adding things to the creed... 

[William]

To see examples of people disagreeing about the Church and its teachings, check out this link:

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/

[mike]

What to do when they say: "All ye catechumens, depart! Depart, ye catechumens! All ye that are catechumens, depart! Let no catechumens remain! But let us who are of the faithful, again and again, in peace pray to the Lord."?

Make sure you don't block the entrance since most Orthodox people arrive round about that time

[minasoliman]

I'm with you, Wyatt; that "dumb sheep" comment was baaad.

[mike]

An Elder (a controversial one) in Greece told me, that I'll receive the name Nathanael when I'm going to be tonsured a monk. I like this name, I'll give it to my son (if I get one)