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Author Topic: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"  (Read 2164 times) Average Rating: 0
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Heorhij
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« on: November 13, 2008, 05:50:23 PM »

Actually, in the language currently used by Russian-speaking people from former USSR republics when they are, ahem, not quite over-burdened with education and/or culture...

http://www2.maidanua.org/news/view.php3?bn=maidan_hum&key=1225372669&first=1226555570&last=1218446054

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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2008, 09:08:42 AM »

^ So it's essentially hillbilly Russian?
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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2008, 09:40:44 AM »

^ So it's essentially hillbilly Russian?

 Smiley No, actually it's an imitation humor CV.
Real hillbilly Russian spoken by illegal workers from Turkmenistan is much worse.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2008, 09:44:01 AM by msmirnov » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2008, 11:22:50 AM »

It's an imitation of a very irregular, grammatically faulty Russian that is, simultaneously, very primitive and very pretentious, trying to sound "modern" as the author of this "resume" is advertising himself. For example, he uses words like "specialized training," "communication skills," "creativity" - and makes absolutely idiotic spelling mistakes in all of them. It is also a surreal combination of a pretense to "deep" psychology ("I am able to make a sober assessment of any situation and quickly come to a solution...") with an outrageously boorish, stupid conclusion ("... and therefore I drink just a little, but often"). The author's "philosophy" of "optimism" is summarized in the statement that if a piece of cr*p falls on you from the sky, don't be upset, because it's not necessarily a bird - it can also be a person working on top of the construction crane. Finally, he states his objective for the future employment, which is "to have a close group of female colleagues, a perspective in the professional and material growth, and a possibility to mess up whatever comes."

The funniest thing is, overall, if you don't read each word, it really looks kind of like a professional resume. Smiley
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2008, 07:13:44 PM »

That's funny. Thanks for sharing.
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« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2008, 07:25:46 PM »

Whew! Even with my bad Russian, I managed to get the gist of the humour this time (which is a rarity, as I usually have a terrible time "getting" Russian humour)! When a Russian speaker tells a joke, I literally tense up, because I can almost guarantee I won't get it... Embarrassed 
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« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2008, 09:19:50 PM »

It is hilarious! Thanks!
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« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2008, 04:57:24 PM »

^ So it's essentially hillbilly Russian?

 Smiley No, actually it's an imitation humor CV.
Real hillbilly Russian spoken by illegal workers from Turkmenistan is much worse.

LOL I enjoyed this!  After seven months in Kyrgyzstan, I'm afraid this is how my Russian sounds.  I'm in the process of applying for a few jobs in Russia right now; I had better be careful about how I write my resume! 
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