Author Topic: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"  (Read 2303 times)

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Offline Heorhij

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(Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« on: November 13, 2008, 05:50:23 PM »
Actually, in the language currently used by Russian-speaking people from former USSR republics when they are, ahem, not quite over-burdened with education and/or culture...

http://www2.maidanua.org/news/view.php3?bn=maidan_hum&key=1225372669&first=1226555570&last=1218446054

 ;D
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Offline ytterbiumanalyst

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2008, 09:08:42 AM »
^ So it's essentially hillbilly Russian?
"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens

Offline msmirnov

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2008, 09:40:44 AM »
^ So it's essentially hillbilly Russian?

 :) No, actually it's an imitation humor CV.
Real hillbilly Russian spoken by illegal workers from Turkmenistan is much worse.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2008, 09:44:01 AM by msmirnov »

Offline Heorhij

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2008, 11:22:50 AM »
It's an imitation of a very irregular, grammatically faulty Russian that is, simultaneously, very primitive and very pretentious, trying to sound "modern" as the author of this "resume" is advertising himself. For example, he uses words like "specialized training," "communication skills," "creativity" - and makes absolutely idiotic spelling mistakes in all of them. It is also a surreal combination of a pretense to "deep" psychology ("I am able to make a sober assessment of any situation and quickly come to a solution...") with an outrageously boorish, stupid conclusion ("... and therefore I drink just a little, but often"). The author's "philosophy" of "optimism" is summarized in the statement that if a piece of cr*p falls on you from the sky, don't be upset, because it's not necessarily a bird - it can also be a person working on top of the construction crane. Finally, he states his objective for the future employment, which is "to have a close group of female colleagues, a perspective in the professional and material growth, and a possibility to mess up whatever comes."

The funniest thing is, overall, if you don't read each word, it really looks kind of like a professional resume. :)
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Offline ytterbiumanalyst

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2008, 07:13:44 PM »
That's funny. Thanks for sharing.
"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens

Offline Rosehip

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2008, 07:25:46 PM »
Whew! Even with my bad Russian, I managed to get the gist of the humour this time (which is a rarity, as I usually have a terrible time "getting" Russian humour)! When a Russian speaker tells a joke, I literally tense up, because I can almost guarantee I won't get it... :-[ 
+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010.  May her memory be eternal! +

Offline Starlight

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2008, 09:19:50 PM »
It is hilarious! Thanks!

Offline Νεκτάριος

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Re: (Humor) A Resume in "Russian"
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2008, 04:57:24 PM »
^ So it's essentially hillbilly Russian?

 :) No, actually it's an imitation humor CV.
Real hillbilly Russian spoken by illegal workers from Turkmenistan is much worse.

LOL I enjoyed this!  After seven months in Kyrgyzstan, I'm afraid this is how my Russian sounds.  I'm in the process of applying for a few jobs in Russia right now; I had better be careful about how I write my resume!