Author Topic: Fasting and family issuse  (Read 2510 times)

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Offline kmerculief

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Fasting and family issuse
« on: December 02, 2008, 03:24:04 PM »
I am a convert, I married a orthodox . I have found the true church and believe God intervened in my life and has lead me this way for a reason . my spouse is I guess the term would be a none participating orthodox (so sorry for my spelling) he hardly goes to church but supports I and the children going so I just pray but fasting was never present in his childhood and he doesn't say it in words but I feel him greatly disapproving of my fast I do not make him or the children fast just myself this never came up before because I was always pregnant or breastfeeding in the first part of our marriage I am just trying to live my faith pray for him to find his way back and not to pressure him into anything but when I am fasting it feels like I am constantly pushing it in his face I am scared it will push him away from the church and not towards it but if I don't fast I will fall of my path that tho very slow has be steady what should I do to top it all off I just moved so I am attending a new church and am not sure if this is the kind of thing I should be asking Father and if so when (during confession?)
your insights and support is greatly appreciated
God bless

Offline Fr. George

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Re: Fasting and family issuse
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2008, 03:40:31 PM »
Welcome kmerculief!

To answer your last question in there, yes, this would be the kind of thing you can and should approach your priest about; it doesn't have to be during confession per se, but certainly in a private conversation.  He will be able and willing to help you (I hope!).

Generally, the Fasting that you're doing is not only a self-sacrifice and a means of growing stronger in your faith, but it can indeed be an excuse for others to ridicule the faith or push away.  The only two weapons against this are prayer (which is an integral part of fasting) and education: it is important that people understand all the reasons why we fast, not just one reason, or a justification that they've made in their own mind (a sort-of "internal straw man").  Continue to pray, and pray earnestly, for your husband, and in the mean-time learn as much as you can about the practice of fasting and the historical and theological reasons for it - through greater understanding maybe he will be more open to it, and through greater knowledge you will be more enriched by it.

I hope this helps, and that you find a welcoming and insightful place.
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Offline kmerculief

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Re: Fasting and family issuse
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2008, 03:44:19 PM »
Thank You and God bless I am sure I will talk to Father soon about this Thank you agin

Offline SolEX01

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Re: Fasting and family issuse
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2008, 03:52:37 PM »
Welcome to the forum, kmerculief!

not to pressure him into anything but when I am fasting it feels like I am constantly pushing it in his face

Perhaps I'm reading more in the above quote; However, fasting is not supposed to trigger domestic power struggles.  If your fasting is provoking your husband, there are probably deeper issues which are better addressed by a Priest.

On the other hand, if fasting has kept you on a "straight and narrow" path, please do not confuse fasting with any kind of abstinence for they are two distinct concepts.  If you were a vastly different person when you met your husband and your "fasting" and conversion to the Orthodox Church has upset your husband, the problem is with him and not with you.

Please forgive me if I have spoken incorrectly.

Offline VirSpeluncaeOrthodoxae

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Re: Fasting and family issuse
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2008, 04:22:00 PM »
Tough call since I know neither you nor you husband. If he was raised Orthodox then fallen away, and if your fasting is upsetting then it is him that has the problem, and it's a deep one that requires a priest, or a serious "Come to Jesus" meeting. After it's HIS Church you joined. Or I could be completely wrong.
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Offline Heorhij

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Re: Fasting and family issuse
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2008, 04:35:11 PM »
Dear Kmerculief,

Welcome to the forum!

I don't have much to add to what others have already said, so I'll just pray for you and your husband.

Like you, I am also the only family member who fasts (or, rather, is trying to learn to fast). My wife - technically a cradle Orthodox, baptized in the Orthodox Church in her infancy, - does not see any point in fasting. However, I must say that I am blessed because she at least does not seriously object against my attempts to fast. She likes it very much when I lose weight and when I abstain for alcohol. So, for the most part, my attempts to fast are welcomed by her. Only occasionally, maybe once in 3-4 days or so, during long fasts she might grunt that I am making her life difficult, because "a normal human being would just eat this piece of sausage and be happy, while you with all this religion of yours always have these special needs, like a baby." My 24-y.o. daughter, also technically a cradle Orthodox, is very much like her mom in this regard - compliments me for not gaining weight and especially for abstaining from booze, but sees absolutely no point in observing the Church calendar, considers that a barbaric prejudice. :)

Well, who said that sticking to the Orthopraxis will be always easy, right? :)

Best wishes,

Love never fails.