PeterTheAleut
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« on: November 22, 2008, 08:02:23 PM » |
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Split from the "What does everyone look like" thread... http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,10042.0.html
- Cleveland, GMOkay, time for a completely off-topic question. What does the "Chuck Norris" tag have to do with this thread? 
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« Last Edit: November 23, 2008, 08:21:08 AM by cleveland »
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2008, 09:32:19 PM » |
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Okay, time for a completely off-topic question. What does the "Chuck Norris" tag have to do with this thread? What? |
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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minasoliman
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« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2008, 12:11:13 AM » |
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Okay, time for a completely off-topic question. What does the "Chuck Norris" tag have to do with this thread? What? Chuck Norris never gets confused. Those who try to confuse Chuck Norris will die of brain overload. |
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Vain existence can never exist, for \\\"unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.\\\" (Psalm 127)
If the faith is unchanged and rock solid, then the gates of Hades never prevailed in the end.
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Fr. George
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May the Lord bless you and keep you always!
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« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2008, 12:27:46 AM » |
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Okay, time for a completely off-topic question. What does the "Chuck Norris" tag have to do with this thread? Questioning Chuck Norris' presence may end with a roundhouse to your head... Watch it, he may be hiding inside your keyboard! |
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"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the one who can't read them." Mark Twain
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Ordained on 17 & 18-Oct 2009. Please forgive me if earlier posts are poorly worded or incorrect in any way.
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2008, 04:26:37 AM » |
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Okay, time for a completely off-topic question. What does the "Chuck Norris" tag have to do with this thread? What? Chuck Norris never gets confused. Those who try to confuse Chuck Norris will die of brain overload. Chuck Norris doesn't wake up to an alarm clock. Time just stops until he wakes up. (Any more of this, and we're going to force username! to open up a thread just for Chuck Norris jokes, which may in fact not be a bad thing.  ) |
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« Last Edit: November 23, 2008, 04:28:18 AM by PeterTheAleut »
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2008, 06:24:51 AM » |
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Yowzers, Nacho! You have a Chuck Norris chest! It's staring me into docility...   |
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2008, 06:27:57 AM » |
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Okay, time for a completely off-topic question. What does the "Chuck Norris" tag have to do with this thread? What? Chuck Norris never gets confused. Those who try to confuse Chuck Norris will die of brain overload. After he stabs their vital brain arteries with his mighty beard! |
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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SolEX01
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« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2008, 01:01:05 PM » |
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Be very afraid of his Honda Ridgeline....
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Bono Vox
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« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2008, 01:03:11 PM » |
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As it says under my avatar..........
Don Draper made Chuck Norris cry repeatedly!
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Troparion - Tone 1:
O Sebastian, spurning the assemblies of the wicked,You gathered the wise martyrs Who with you cast down the enemy; And standing worthily before the throne of God, You gladden those who cry to you:Glory to him who has strengthened you! Glory to him who has granted you a crown!
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2008, 03:06:14 PM » |
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Don Draper made Chuck Norris cry repeatedly! Lies! |
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« Last Edit: November 23, 2008, 03:07:14 PM by Asteriktos »
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"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." - Plutarch
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Fr. George
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May the Lord bless you and keep you always!
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« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2008, 03:51:50 PM » |
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As it says under my avatar..........
Don Draper made Chuck Norris cry repeatedly! This can't be true, because then we would (finally) have the cure for cancer... |
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"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the one who can't read them." Mark Twain
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Bono Vox
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« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2008, 04:10:15 PM » |
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Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands......they can no longer be called the Virgin Islands.
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Troparion - Tone 1:
O Sebastian, spurning the assemblies of the wicked,You gathered the wise martyrs Who with you cast down the enemy; And standing worthily before the throne of God, You gladden those who cry to you:Glory to him who has strengthened you! Glory to him who has granted you a crown!
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2008, 05:04:40 PM » |
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Chuck Norris once auditioned for the circus by stuffing a dozen Volkswagens into a clown.
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #13 on: November 23, 2008, 06:35:34 PM » |
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Chuck Norris once caused a total eclipse by blocking the sun with his awesome awesomeness:  |
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« Last Edit: November 23, 2008, 06:36:29 PM by Myrrh23 »
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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Veniamin
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St. Barbara, patroness of the Field Artillery
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« Reply #14 on: November 23, 2008, 06:40:45 PM » |
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Once, on the set of Walker, Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a lamb back to life by giving it a beard rub. Then, he killed it with a roundhouse kick to show that Chuck giveth and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
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Artillery adds dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl. ~Frederick the Great
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #15 on: November 23, 2008, 06:44:17 PM » |
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Chuck Norris takes a rattle snake poison chaser with his vodka. It's delicious.
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2008, 09:22:53 PM » |
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Ah, I love a good Chuck roast.
Chuck Norris once made the mistake of claiming to be bigger than Jesus. Yoko Ono sued him for trademark infringement.
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« Last Edit: November 23, 2008, 09:25:54 PM by ytterbiumanalyst »
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"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
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Bono Vox
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« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2008, 10:38:15 PM » |
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
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Troparion - Tone 1:
O Sebastian, spurning the assemblies of the wicked,You gathered the wise martyrs Who with you cast down the enemy; And standing worthily before the throne of God, You gladden those who cry to you:Glory to him who has strengthened you! Glory to him who has granted you a crown!
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #18 on: November 24, 2008, 12:57:52 AM » |
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
And behind that fist is another beard with a roundhouse kick to someone's head. |
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2008, 12:58:21 AM by Myrrh23 »
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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Jakub
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« Reply #19 on: November 24, 2008, 12:59:00 AM » |
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Don't mess with Texas...
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An old timer is a man who's had a lot of interesting experiences -- some of them true.
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2008, 01:29:07 AM » |
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Steel is made of Chuck Norris' bones.
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SolEX01
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« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2008, 01:34:58 AM » |
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Only Bruce Lee (God Rest His Soul), if he were alive, can stop Chuck Norris since the student can never beat the master....
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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« Reply #22 on: November 24, 2008, 01:41:51 AM » |
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Only Bruce Lee (God Rest His Soul), if he were alive, can stop Chuck Norris since the student can never beat the master....
Yeah, I saw a documentary on Bruce Lee that mentioned that his moves actually had to be shown in slow motion for them to even be visible on screen. |
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minasoliman
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« Reply #23 on: November 24, 2008, 01:43:41 AM » |
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Chuck Norris never gets thirsty. Water seems to be attracted to his mouth.
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Vain existence can never exist, for \\\"unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.\\\" (Psalm 127)
If the faith is unchanged and rock solid, then the gates of Hades never prevailed in the end.
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SolEX01
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« Reply #24 on: November 24, 2008, 01:45:04 AM » |
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Yeah, I saw a documentary on Bruce Lee that mentioned that his moves actually had to be shown in slow motion for them to even be visible on screen. Was it the one where Bruce Lee delivered 8 kicks to Muhammad Ali in 1 second? Chuck Norris is about power. Bruce Lee was about finesse and power. |
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #25 on: November 24, 2008, 08:57:51 AM » |
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The real reason the Chinese built the Great Wall? Chuck Norris smiled at them.
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #26 on: November 24, 2008, 09:04:38 AM » |
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Bruce Lee also invented Jeet Kune Do while he was lying in a hospital bed with a broken back. EDIT: Oops, I didn't notice Mr. Y was logged in. This post courtesy of Mrs. Y. |
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2008, 09:05:54 AM by EofK »
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"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
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Bono Vox
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« Reply #27 on: November 24, 2008, 10:53:37 AM » |
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A few interesting facts about Chuck Norris:
1. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
2.Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
4. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
5. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
6. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
8. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Troparion - Tone 1:
O Sebastian, spurning the assemblies of the wicked,You gathered the wise martyrs Who with you cast down the enemy; And standing worthily before the throne of God, You gladden those who cry to you:Glory to him who has strengthened you! Glory to him who has granted you a crown!
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
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« Reply #28 on: November 24, 2008, 07:03:44 PM » |
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8. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
I pity the fool who happens to be in that door. (Oh, sorry. Wrong dude. ) |
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SolEX01
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« Reply #29 on: November 24, 2008, 08:04:16 PM » |
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Mr. T. lost to Rocky Balboa. He wouldn't fare much better against Chuck Norris.
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Fr. George
formerly "Cleveland"
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May the Lord bless you and keep you always!
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« Reply #30 on: November 24, 2008, 08:45:03 PM » |
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Mr. T. lost to Rocky Balboa. He wouldn't fare much better against Chuck Norris. Are you kidding? "Wouldn't fare much better" is the understatement of the century! He'd be KO'd before he'd even enter the ring! Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you from 99% of the world's circumference away; he could just kick the 1%, but goes the long way just to taunt and humiliate you. |
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"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the one who can't read them." Mark Twain
---------------------
Ordained on 17 & 18-Oct 2009. Please forgive me if earlier posts are poorly worded or incorrect in any way.
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #32 on: November 24, 2008, 09:01:19 PM » |
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So, Chuck Norris has 24,750 mile long legs which can curve around the Earth and roundhouse kick anyone from anywhere. Haven't we idolized Chuck Norris enough?  Women all over the world claim that Chuck Norris'....whoops!, this is the Public Forum!  |
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2008, 09:01:40 PM by Myrrh23 »
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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ironsiderodger
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St Eudocia- still in progress.
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« Reply #33 on: November 24, 2008, 09:21:39 PM » |
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Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters-
except by "knit" I mean "kick" and by "sweaters" I mean "babies".
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Fr. George
formerly "Cleveland"
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May the Lord bless you and keep you always!
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« Reply #34 on: November 24, 2008, 09:28:23 PM » |
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So, Chuck Norris has 24,750 mile long legs which can curve around the Earth and roundhouse kick anyone from anywhere.
We don't know how long his legs are; every time someone attempts to measure them, they get roundhoused in the face. |
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"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the one who can't read them." Mark Twain
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Ordained on 17 & 18-Oct 2009. Please forgive me if earlier posts are poorly worded or incorrect in any way.
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username!
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« Reply #35 on: November 24, 2008, 09:42:49 PM » |
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Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
Chuck Norris invented the corndog.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #36 on: November 24, 2008, 09:57:11 PM » |
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Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
Chuck Norris invented the corndog.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris walked into a Chicago Restaurant and demanded a food be accredited to him. Hence, the round house steak. |
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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leapers
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« Reply #37 on: November 24, 2008, 10:04:06 PM » |
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Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
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SolEX01
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« Reply #38 on: November 24, 2008, 10:37:45 PM » |
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Chuck Norris defeated Hancock when Hancock shattered into millions of pieces.
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minasoliman
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« Reply #39 on: November 25, 2008, 02:13:53 AM » |
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Chuck Norris is not trimming his beard. He's sharpening his Samari sword.
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Vain existence can never exist, for \\\"unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.\\\" (Psalm 127)
If the faith is unchanged and rock solid, then the gates of Hades never prevailed in the end.
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LBK
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« Reply #40 on: November 25, 2008, 05:06:02 AM » |
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Chuck Norris uses a trimmer to keep his beard looking good, eats Vegemite** with a soup spoon, and smokes Camels. Real ones.
**Don't know what Vegemite is? The Aussie members on this board can enlighten you.
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prodromas
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Greek Orthodox
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« Reply #41 on: November 25, 2008, 08:21:20 AM » |
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Chuck Norris uses a trimmer to keep his beard looking good, eats Vegemite** with a soup spoon, and smokes Camels. Real ones.
**Don't know what Vegemite is? The Aussie members on this board can enlighten you.
Best spread ever!!  Not actually enjoyed by many aussies but I thoroughly enjoy it! Its a yeast based spread first invented when someone decided to eat the reminents at the bottom of beer making vats and decided it tasted good (true story) |
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The sins I don't commit are largely due to the weakness of my limbs.
1915-1923 Հայոց Ցեղասպանութիւն ,never again,
ܩܛܠܐ ܕܥܡܐ ܐܬܘܪܝܐ 1920-1914, never again,
השואה 1933-1945, never again,
(1914-1923) Ελληνική Γενοκτονία, never again
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Marc Hanna
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« Reply #42 on: November 25, 2008, 10:34:23 AM » |
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Chuck Norris uses a trimmer to keep his beard looking good, eats Vegemite** with a soup spoon, and smokes Camels. Real ones.
**Don't know what Vegemite is? The Aussie members on this board can enlighten you.
Best spread ever!! Not actually enjoyed by many aussies but I thoroughly enjoy it! Its a yeast based spread first invented when someone decided to eat the reminents at the bottom of beer making vats and decided it tasted good (true story) I have tried this stuff. WARNING!!! To all non-aussies - this stuff is like getting kicked in the mouth by Chuck Norris!!! It aweful!!! (as in terrible, not "full of awe," which would be someone in the presence of Chuck Norris) |
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Papist
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« Reply #43 on: November 25, 2008, 04:22:13 PM » |
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Don Draper made Chuck Norris cry repeatedly! Lies! Heresy!!! |
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"The only-begotten Son of God, wanting us to be partakers of his divinity, assumed our human nature so that, having become man, he might make men gods." - St. Thomas Aquinas
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EofK
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« Reply #44 on: November 25, 2008, 04:40:39 PM » |
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This reminds me of the SNL sketch about a man whose colleagues kept talking up until they were worshipping him as god.
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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