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Author Topic: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself  (Read 2878 times) Average Rating: 0
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Myrrh23
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« on: November 19, 2008, 08:27:55 PM »

I found this article on CNN concerning how to deal with mean people. A person doesn't always have to get angry, shrink, or slink away:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/18/o.handle.verbal.ambushes/index.html

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« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2008, 08:41:29 PM »

I found this article on CNN concerning how to deal with mean people. A person doesn't always have to get angry, shrink, or slink away: 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/18/o.handle.verbal.ambushes/index.html



Good article!  I am reading a book called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans and it has been very helpful to me dealing with a difficult person in my life.

I like the article's comment about finding a fighting stance.  I call in "leaning into" the comment.  Rather than let the nasty words flow over me and bend me backwards, I mentally lean into the comment and respond with personal strength, remembering that I am God's child and worthy of respect.

Thanks for sharing this article!
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« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2008, 08:55:25 PM »

When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  Cheesy Wink
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2008, 09:01:24 PM »

When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  Cheesy Wink

LOL, or you could use this line: Cheesy
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We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.

All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2008, 09:16:56 PM »

Quote
Brown belt technique: Zig-zig

As a martial artist, you'll need to get used to doing the opposite of whatever your enemies expect. For example, if someone were to push you backward, you might push back for a few seconds, then abruptly reverse, and pull your assailant in the direction he's pushing. He'd be toppled by his own momentum.

This is zig-zigging. It works beautifully on mean people. They expect a fight-or-flight reaction from their victims -- either angry pushback or slinking away. The one thing they don't anticipate is relaxed discernment. Scuttle their plans by zigging instead of zagging, cheerfully accepting any accurate statement they might make while ignoring their malicious energy.

You can observe this technique in the movie "Spanglish," when a young wife, played by Téa Leoni, lashes out at her mother. "You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years, so I'm in this fix because of you!"

As the mother, Cloris Leachman nods and says pleasantly, "You have a solid point, dear. But right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you." This response stops the daughter cold, partly because it's true and partly because it contains not a whiff of pushback. The mother zigs when the daughter expects her to zag. The result is peace.

I like this one. It should definitely be a black belt technique though; it would be for me, anyway Smiley
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« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2008, 10:38:55 AM »

Not a bad article.  I agree, it diffuses the the situation if you stay calm and address the situation without attacking back.  I hate conflict but sometimes the best way to deal with it is directly, by pointing out the person's behavior to them.  (Although this works better with passive-aggressive people than with plain old aggressive people.)
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« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2008, 10:42:45 AM »

When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  Cheesy Wink

LOL, or you could use this line: Cheesy

LOL! I was seriously considering using this image as my avatar, but then I thought the writing would be too small and difficult to read!  Cheesy
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« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2008, 03:11:26 PM »

When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  Cheesy Wink

I usually resort to sign language.
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2008, 03:13:46 PM »

When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  Cheesy Wink

I usually resort to sign language.

Tried that during a math class in high school. Good thing the teacher's back was turned... Tongue Wink
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We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.

All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2008, 04:46:50 PM »

When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  Cheesy Wink

I've always been a fan of the all-purpose "Your mama!" retort.
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« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2008, 11:19:45 PM »

I just laugh in people's faces.  It's usually received VERY well. 
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