Myrrh23
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« on: November 19, 2008, 08:27:55 PM » |
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I found this article on CNN concerning how to deal with mean people. A person doesn't always have to get angry, shrink, or slink away: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/18/o.handle.verbal.ambushes/index.html |
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We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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Trudy
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« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2008, 08:41:29 PM » |
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Good article! I am reading a book called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans and it has been very helpful to me dealing with a difficult person in my life. I like the article's comment about finding a fighting stance. I call in "leaning into" the comment. Rather than let the nasty words flow over me and bend me backwards, I mentally lean into the comment and respond with personal strength, remembering that I am God's child and worthy of respect. Thanks for sharing this article! |
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He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8
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Bono Vox
The Orthodox Bagpiper
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« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2008, 08:55:25 PM » |
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When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you". I find this generally works   |
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Troparion - Tone 1:
O Sebastian, spurning the assemblies of the wicked,You gathered the wise martyrs Who with you cast down the enemy; And standing worthily before the throne of God, You gladden those who cry to you:Glory to him who has strengthened you! Glory to him who has granted you a crown!
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2008, 09:01:24 PM » |
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When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you". I find this generally works LOL, or you could use this line:  |
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We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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Rowan
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« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2008, 09:16:56 PM » |
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Brown belt technique: Zig-zig
As a martial artist, you'll need to get used to doing the opposite of whatever your enemies expect. For example, if someone were to push you backward, you might push back for a few seconds, then abruptly reverse, and pull your assailant in the direction he's pushing. He'd be toppled by his own momentum.
This is zig-zigging. It works beautifully on mean people. They expect a fight-or-flight reaction from their victims -- either angry pushback or slinking away. The one thing they don't anticipate is relaxed discernment. Scuttle their plans by zigging instead of zagging, cheerfully accepting any accurate statement they might make while ignoring their malicious energy.
You can observe this technique in the movie "Spanglish," when a young wife, played by Téa Leoni, lashes out at her mother. "You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years, so I'm in this fix because of you!"
As the mother, Cloris Leachman nods and says pleasantly, "You have a solid point, dear. But right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you." This response stops the daughter cold, partly because it's true and partly because it contains not a whiff of pushback. The mother zigs when the daughter expects her to zag. The result is peace. I like this one. It should definitely be a black belt technique though; it would be for me, anyway  |
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Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. ~Philippians 4:8; St Paul
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EofK
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« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2008, 10:38:55 AM » |
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Not a bad article. I agree, it diffuses the the situation if you stay calm and address the situation without attacking back. I hate conflict but sometimes the best way to deal with it is directly, by pointing out the person's behavior to them. (Although this works better with passive-aggressive people than with plain old aggressive people.)
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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FrChris
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Holy Father Patrick, thank you for your help!
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« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2008, 10:42:45 AM » |
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When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you". I find this generally works LOL, or you could use this line: LOL! I was seriously considering using this image as my avatar, but then I thought the writing would be too small and difficult to read! |
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"As the sparrow flees from a hawk, so the man seeking humility flees from an argument". St John Climacus
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Punch
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« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2008, 03:11:26 PM » |
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When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you". I find this generally works I usually resort to sign language. |
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Myrrh23
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« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2008, 03:13:46 PM » |
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When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you". I find this generally works I usually resort to sign language. Tried that during a math class in high school. Good thing the teacher's back was turned...  |
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*I am no longer posting on OC.net*
We all have a Black Dog and a White Dog inside of us. The One you feed the most eventually eats the Other.
All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator
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Orual
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I'm just here for the food.
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« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2008, 04:46:50 PM » |
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When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you". I find this generally works I've always been a fan of the all-purpose "Your mama!" retort. |
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He spoke it as kindly and heartily as could be; as if a man dashed a gallon of cold water in your broth and never doubted you'd like it all the better.
- C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces
f.k.a. Matron.a
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serb1389
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« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2008, 11:19:45 PM » |
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I just laugh in people's faces. It's usually received VERY well.
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I got nothing. I forgot the maps March 27th and May 30th 2010 were my Ordination dates, please forgive everything before that |
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