Author Topic: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself  (Read 3303 times)

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Offline Myrrh23

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Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« on: November 19, 2008, 08:27:55 PM »
I found this article on CNN concerning how to deal with mean people. A person doesn't always have to get angry, shrink, or slink away:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/18/o.handle.verbal.ambushes/index.html

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Offline Trudy

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2008, 08:41:29 PM »
I found this article on CNN concerning how to deal with mean people. A person doesn't always have to get angry, shrink, or slink away: 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/11/18/o.handle.verbal.ambushes/index.html



Good article!  I am reading a book called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans and it has been very helpful to me dealing with a difficult person in my life.

I like the article's comment about finding a fighting stance.  I call in "leaning into" the comment.  Rather than let the nasty words flow over me and bend me backwards, I mentally lean into the comment and respond with personal strength, remembering that I am God's child and worthy of respect.

Thanks for sharing this article!
He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?  Micah 6:8

Offline Bono Vox

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2008, 08:55:25 PM »
When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  :D ;)
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Offline Myrrh23

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2008, 09:01:24 PM »
When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  :D ;)

LOL, or you could use this line: :D
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All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator

Offline Rowan

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2008, 09:16:56 PM »
Quote
Brown belt technique: Zig-zig

As a martial artist, you'll need to get used to doing the opposite of whatever your enemies expect. For example, if someone were to push you backward, you might push back for a few seconds, then abruptly reverse, and pull your assailant in the direction he's pushing. He'd be toppled by his own momentum.

This is zig-zigging. It works beautifully on mean people. They expect a fight-or-flight reaction from their victims -- either angry pushback or slinking away. The one thing they don't anticipate is relaxed discernment. Scuttle their plans by zigging instead of zagging, cheerfully accepting any accurate statement they might make while ignoring their malicious energy.

You can observe this technique in the movie "Spanglish," when a young wife, played by Téa Leoni, lashes out at her mother. "You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years, so I'm in this fix because of you!"

As the mother, Cloris Leachman nods and says pleasantly, "You have a solid point, dear. But right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you." This response stops the daughter cold, partly because it's true and partly because it contains not a whiff of pushback. The mother zigs when the daughter expects her to zag. The result is peace.

I like this one. It should definitely be a black belt technique though; it would be for me, anyway :)
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Offline EofK

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2008, 10:38:55 AM »
Not a bad article.  I agree, it diffuses the the situation if you stay calm and address the situation without attacking back.  I hate conflict but sometimes the best way to deal with it is directly, by pointing out the person's behavior to them.  (Although this works better with passive-aggressive people than with plain old aggressive people.)
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Offline FrChris

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2008, 10:42:45 AM »
When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  :D ;)

LOL, or you could use this line: :D

LOL! I was seriously considering using this image as my avatar, but then I thought the writing would be too small and difficult to read!  :D
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Offline Punch

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2008, 03:11:26 PM »
When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  :D ;)

I usually resort to sign language.
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Offline Myrrh23

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2008, 03:13:46 PM »
When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  :D ;)

I usually resort to sign language.

Tried that during a math class in high school. Good thing the teacher's back was turned... :P ;)
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All are tempted, but it is the courageous person who clings to God during the storm. For the Ego is a prison, but Christ is the Liberator

Offline Orual

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2008, 04:46:50 PM »
When people are verbally abusive, I usually say "I know you are but what am I?" or "I'm rubber, your glue..whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".

I find this generally works  :D ;)

I've always been a fan of the all-purpose "Your mama!" retort.
He spoke it as kindly and heartily as could be; as if a man dashed a gallon of cold water in your broth and never doubted you'd like it all the better. 

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Offline serb1389

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Re: Verbal Assaults--How to defend yourself
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2008, 11:19:45 PM »
I just laugh in people's faces.  It's usually received VERY well. 
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