Topic: Crocodile tears

[EofK]

I've noticed that our 9 month old daughter has starting this crying thing lately.  When she wants attention she starts crying big crocodile tears and does a high-pitched scream with it.  She'll stop immediately if I pick her up and it's like nothing ever happened.  I'm trying to train her away from wanting to be picked up at her every whim and I don't want her to think pitching a hissy fit is going to be rewarded.  I'd hate to think she's becoming the dreaded spoiled child.  She does this despite being fed, changed, comfortable, entertained, when I'm sitting right next to her on the floor, etc. 

I'm teaching her sign language so she can communicate instead of crying for everything, but it's a slow process and she's just now at a stage where she has enough motor control to form signs.  Is this just her way of expressing frustration about not being able to communicate or something else?

[SolEX01]

Sounds like growing pains - maybe teething or just plain bored.   

[EofK]

Maybe so.  She has been teething lately and going through a growth spurt.  The crying doesn't seem to be related to any specific symptom, though, just a way to get my attention.  She cries like it's the end of the world if I walk past her and don't pick her up or if I leave the room.  She has terrible separation anxiety right now and maybe that's all it is... it's just frustrating to hear the screams and tears when it turns out to be nothing at all.

[SolEX01]

Do you have a Cradle Swing that Caitlin can occupy herself with?

[EofK]

Do you have a Cradle Swing that Caitlin can occupy herself with?

She's pretty much outgrown the swing now.  She's crawling and pulling up now, and very close to taking her first steps.  You can hear the joints in the swing creak so I'm thinking she's a little too heavy for it these days!  LOL

[SolEX01]

They grow oh so fast - big cliche but true.   

Maybe the time has come to challenge Caitlin with Toddler Toys.

[EofK]

Perhaps so.

[jlerms]

Don't worry about spoiling Caitlin at the age of nine months...she is still a baby for goodness sake!  Most likely she is going through separation anxiety.  When she is truly hurt and cries it sounds oh so different.  Right now this behavior is what she does to cope with her feelings.  I agree with SolEX01 that an introduction to new and more challenging toys may help.  God bless you in your patience.

ps. Wait till Caitlin turns 2yr. old!  Get ready. ha.

 :)Juliana










x

[EofK]

Thanks, Juliana.  I hate thinking of it as a discipline issue when she's so young!  Surely she's not consciously trying to manipulate us.  Or else she's a smart little weasel and we're in big trouble.

[Quinault]

I would say it is a little of both. She is testing the waters to see how high she can get you to jump, completely natural. If you are sitting right next to her, then she should come to you rather than you getting her since she can crawl. That could be a problem in the future if you have another baby in the next year or so.

You could get a sling and carry her around the house with you. Eventually she will find that going about the house while you are doing mundane tasks is MUCH less fun than playing with her toys. It is a phase, it will pass. And it by no means means she is spoiled. But don't feel like you can't say things like; "You don't need to fuss, I can't hold you right now because I am doing "x, why don't you play with you toys." And in also helps in general to hold a running dialogue with her throughout the day talking to her about what you are doing and such. It makes you feel like you are your own narrator for a reality TV show, but it helps with language skills and security.

[EofK]

^LOL... I wondered if anyone else did their own narrating as they do laundry.  "Wow, these two white socks match!"  *Fanfare*

[Quinault]

Yeah, the real problem arises when mommy goes out on her own and narrates to a child that isn't with her. I looked like an absolute idiot; (excitedly exclaims while on a bus) "Look! An airplane!" Everyone looked at me like I was "touched in the head."

[Quinault]

The mommy sway is also permanent. You will forever sway from side to side when standing in lines and such.

[Riddikulus]

I don't think it's too early to have Caitlin learn the meaning of no. Let's face it children, like pets, are potential despots. They use all manner of means to manipulate and from a very early age. I had one who cried (screamed actually) about being put down for a nap; though obviously she was in dire need of the sleep, just as much as her mother was in need of the break. I found that firmly and lovingly ignoring her tears and tantrums and continuing with what I knew had to be done was the best way to disabuse her of any impression that she was in control. Within a week she had got the message that I would leave her to cry herself to sleep. The tears soon stopped and she went down for a nap much more happily. It's actually better to get the issue of just who is running things out of the way very early on.  I must admit, however, that I haven't been quite so successful with convincing my cat that he isn't the centre of my universe. 

[Myrrh23]

Whatever happened to those days when you could calm her with the hair dryer, eh, EofK?

[username!]

Sounds like she's just growing and probably learning so much she may be expressing it this way.  Think about how fast babies grow and how much they learn basically all at once.  My nephew is 9 months.  He is kind of going through the same thing.  He likes to be picked up and carried WAY too much.  This is to the point of if he's not content in front of a play thing with doo-dads and what nots for him to play or if he isn't in his walker (although he is going to be walking any day) he'll just scream bloody murder until someone picks him up.   It's a phase.  Perhaps the first, second or third by now of the 101,000 phases to come!!

[EofK]

Whatever happened to those days when you could calm her with the hair dryer, eh, EofK?

If only that worked!  She hates loud sounds like that... you'd think hearing us playing Guitar Hero all the time would have cured her of that!

[EofK]

 It's a phase.  Perhaps the first, second or third by now of the 101,000 phases to come!!

You're right.  I have to keep assuring myself that she won't still be doing this when she's 20 years old.  Or she sure as heck better not be!

[Órëlaurëa]

I hate it when she cries as soon as you lay her down to change her. I'm always ready for you to come running and tell me to quit tormenting your baby!

[jlerms]

Yeah, what is the deal with the child crying when you change their dirty diaper?!  I mean, we should all have it so nice to be fed on demand, held and have our bottoms wiped and carried around like royalty! Ha!

[EofK]

^I know it!  I think her problem with diaper changes is that she's too busy to lie still long enough.  Don't worry, she screams bloody murder when I change her too.  I have to distract her with all manner of silly songs, rubber ducks, nibbling her toes, etc.  And when that fails, I call in Mr. Y to hold her down long enough to get her changed.  She loves to roll over and try to crawl off the table these days.

The key to diaper changes, we've figured out, is to change her as quickly as possible before she gets bored and God help you if you have to change her clothes, too.  Then it's End of the World Time.

[EofK]

Our time has indeed come.  Miss Caitlin is now squarely into throwing temper tantrums, complete with throwing herself on the floor, screaming, and pushing us away.  Any suggestions from those experienced in toddler hysterics? 

So far I've tried to encourage her to tell me what she wants and if she insists on melting down, I just let her scream it out without giving into whatever it was she wanted (within reason... I won't withhold food or drink or anything like that).