Author Topic: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?  (Read 2705 times)

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Offline 88Devin12

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Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« on: July 10, 2008, 11:29:39 PM »
Should I ask my parents if they would consider also converting to Orthodoxy? I know my mother has been pretty open to it, and I'm not sure about my dad, as I don't talk to him as much about it, and he doesn't listen to the podcasts as much as me and my mother (though I'm trying to get him to listen to more of them).

Or should I just wait? I know my Priest led his two parents to Orthodoxy after he and his family converted.

Offline John of the North

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2008, 11:33:22 PM »
Don't ask. Let them come to church with you if they want. That way, if they choose to inquire, then they know the priest.
"Christianity is not a philosophy, not a doctrine, but life." - Elder Sophrony (Sakharov)

Offline Riddikulus

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2008, 11:41:03 PM »
I agree, don't even ask. If they are moved to go to Church with you, that's great. And perhaps you could simply pray that God's Will be done in their lives.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2008, 11:41:21 PM by Riddikulus »
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Offline scamandrius

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2008, 12:33:02 AM »
To many people, even asking can run dangerously close to harassment or coercion.  Best maintain peace with your father at this time.
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Offline Quinault

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2008, 01:36:11 AM »
Give them an open invitation to join you anytime the like, but don't go any further than that.

Offline ytterbiumanalyst

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2008, 08:49:48 AM »
Should I ask my parents if they would consider also converting to Orthodoxy? I know my mother has been pretty open to it, and I'm not sure about my dad, as I don't talk to him as much about it, and he doesn't listen to the podcasts as much as me and my mother (though I'm trying to get him to listen to more of them).

Or should I just wait? I know my Priest led his two parents to Orthodoxy after he and his family converted.
Your mom I think would be open for you to talk about Orthodoxy, since she's been to the church several times. I'd invite her to come when she wants to and is able. I haven't met your dad, so I can't really give advice there. I do know, though, that my mom has been quite open to Orthodoxy, but my dad is a deacon in the Baptist church, and he's pretty set on remaining there. So my mom and I discuss Orthodoxy, but she doesn't often come because of my dad's position. Instead, she's set on making her Baptist church more Orthodox. It seems a good thing to do given the situation.

If your situation is at all like mine, then be patient. Show them Christianity as it should be. If your parents are Christians, then they have the truth, just not the fullness of it. As they see you living your faith, they will be drawn to it. Eventually they may decide to become Orthodox. Be sure, though, never to pester or badger them about it--that will serve only to alienate you from your parents and could tarnish the Church's image in their minds.

Yes, Fr. Andrew's parents are Orthodox, but I don't know if you've heard all his stories of their initial opposition. It wasn't very easy, and it wasn't very fun for him at all. It's good now, but there was a lot of work involved to get to this point. You should ask him about it sometime; it may help you better to show Christ to your parents.
"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens

Offline Paisius

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2008, 10:42:02 PM »
It's fascinating the differences in approach between us and your typical evangelical Protestant. I can guarantee they would take a very different approach.  :)


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Offline TinaG

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2008, 08:45:29 AM »
Sorry, but you can't and shouldn't harass pressure them into this kind of decision.  I tried the hard sell on my husband 17 years ago and he still wants nothing to do with the Orthodox Church.  Besides, when a son or daughter does this, it has the same effect as, for example, when a kid is 12 and wants a new gaming system.   He just keeps hammering and nagging away at them.  Did it get him what he wanted or did they just tune him out?  And if they did get it for the child, it was with resignation and giving in, not the joy of a parent who buys a special something for a child and enjoys their unexpected happiness. 

Parents are also used to teenagers and young adults who are on-fire with a new passion, whether it's a social cause, a new hobby or a religious faith.  They will listen to you much more if you remain quietly and sincerely committed to your new faith, answering their questions if they ask, welcoming them if they decide on their own to accompany you to church.  You have to remember, they've held their particular religious beliefs a lot longer than you've even been on the planet, and they may realize that something this important isn't done on a whim.

Don't mean to be preachy - it's just I've spent many years developing my know-it-all mother attitude.   
« Last Edit: July 12, 2008, 08:46:08 AM by TinaG »
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Offline Thomas

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2008, 11:21:20 PM »
I asked my mom and even with Alzhiemer's disease she knew what she wanted and was chrismated several months before her death.  I have told her story of her chrismation several times on this site. PM me if you haven't heard it.  The truth is , you will never know if you don't ask.  I have heard several people who have asked their folks and been told, "Its about time, we thought you were never going to ask us!"!

Thomas
« Last Edit: July 13, 2008, 11:22:10 PM by Thomas »
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Offline Elisha

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2008, 12:17:13 AM »
Give them an open invitation to join you anytime the like, but don't go any further than that.

I concur.

Interesting story:
Our rector's daughter, I think 13 at the time, had a friend from school come over to play regularly (the rector and family lives on the property).  Well, the friend starts coming to services with the priest's daughter.  And then she starts coming more and more....to almost every service (or pretty much every Great Vespers and Diving Liturgy).  One day, it is announced that the (hmmmm...maybe 14 yr old at the time?) is becoming a catechumen along with her mom (mom had come a few times).  Her younger brother and dad have visited a few times and have no objection to the services either.  I find it a rather amazing story.

Offline John of the North

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2008, 01:09:40 AM »
So my expanded perspective is this. If your parents are religious, it might not be a bad idea. If not (like mine), don't go there. Both my parents came to my baptism, they both came to Pushchenia, and my dad came out to the Family Day picnic. Essentially, if there is enough Ukie food involved, my dad will come to the church service :P.
"Christianity is not a philosophy, not a doctrine, but life." - Elder Sophrony (Sakharov)

Offline ytterbiumanalyst

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2008, 08:37:18 AM »
Pushchenia
I haven't heard this word before. What is it exactly?
"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens

Offline Quinault

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2008, 02:50:27 PM »
My husbands parents, sister and brother in-law came to our baptism. The BIL had been flirting with contemplative prayer for awhile. He is attending Multnomah and actually wrote a paper on Orthodoxy. We though for sure that seeing his first service would hook him. My husbands parents seemed pretty taken aback by our decision to convert and we figured they would become more offended. What happened?

The BIL decided to become a protestant pastor because Orthodoxy is too hard.

My FIL decided to try out a local mission Orthodox parish in Albany.

You never know what will happen. Offering can never hurt, but don't expect anything either way.

Offline username!

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2008, 03:25:11 PM »
I haven't heard this word before. What is it exactly?

It is a fancy Ukrainian-Canadian word for a type of party.  Don't get your gitch in a bunch over it eh!

Offline John of the North

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2008, 03:37:37 PM »
It is a fancy Ukrainian-Canadian word for a type of party.  Don't get your gitch in a bunch over it eh!

Eh!

Pushchenia is pretty much a party. It occurs usually the Saturday heading into a major fast, and there you will see foods that you don't see until the Bishop comes for the khram (parish patronal feast). They hire one of the local bands, and you watch 75 yearolds polka the night away...
"Christianity is not a philosophy, not a doctrine, but life." - Elder Sophrony (Sakharov)

Offline ytterbiumanalyst

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Re: Should I ask my parents if they'd consider?
« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2008, 01:23:14 PM »
The Orthodox version of Mardi Gras! I am so there.
"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens