I've been attending the Greek Orthodox church for a while. And I realize that Greeks are not very friendly people with people outside their race (nationality). So I like this Greek Lady at the church, but here is the problem, I have no problem talking to the girl, in fact, I have plenty of experience in talking to ladies, however what is difficult about talking to a greek women, not only do I have to convince the lady but I have to convince the family.
So how do I convince the family??? Are there books on how to convince a greek family that you are good enough to marry their daughter???
SB,
Greeks are like Serbs (my ethnic background) and one of the things "we" as a people faced when we came to the west was the dilution of our ethnicity, culture and religion. The "push back" against this sort of thing, often ends up in the wrong place. Sometimes it comes out as "separatist" or arrogance or an air of "you're not good enough for us". This is the first major obstacle you'll face and in some cases it might be insurmountable.
Here is my suggestion to you (as I saw it happen in my family). When my sister met my brother-in-law, I knew it was going to be some interesting times at the SS99 home. He was a 5th generation Canadian with a RC religious background. He knew NOTHING of Serbia or Serbian customs. He knew nothing of Orthodoxy or our religious practices and to steal a phrase from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", I think our family found his family "dry like toast". That is probably the gentle way of saying "we thought they lacked any ethno-cultural sophistication or flavor".
Having said that, my b-in-law took a real "manly" approach to the family and I think it served him well. When he and my sis were getting really serious, he came to the house and wanted to talk to my father (primarily) and me about what it meant to be marrying a Serbian girl (or in your case even dating).
We had very high expectation of anyone (Serbian or other) of coming into our home, but the only thing my problem worried about was that he (and his family) might not understand "our" way of doing things. My father told him that we celebrate "Slava" and he showed him the Icon of St. Nicholas in our house. He talked to him about our religious practices and other Serbian customs, like celebrating Vidovdan. These items were the essence of who we were as a people and it was important that my b-in-law understood that these areas were off limits to ridicule or disrespect.
When he showed that he would value these items as much as we did, he showed that he "accepted us" as much as we needed to "accept him". He proved that by my sister marrying him, she would NOT loser her Slava, nor would their children. They would NOT abandon the Church and the practices of our ancestors for the last 1000 years.
Before they married, he converted (you're already a huge step ahead). He is well known in our Church, well liked and has NEVER done anything to make me question his commitment to preserving those things that are very important to my sister and my family. In return, my b-in-law is just amazed at what my family has done for him. My mother looks after him better than one of her own (if he's ever in the neighborhood he ALWAYS stops by for a hot meal and "drinks", not matter what Mom is doing). My father helped him financially (big time) so that he could start his own business and is now making more than a million dollars a year. I would not trade him for a "Serbian b-in-law" in a million years. I don't believe my sister could have done any better.
The truth is, once he convinced us he would respect our religion and culture, he was a shoe in. Some might have a higher standard than we did, but I think the most anyone can ever ask of you is to respect those things that might be "foreign" to you (as you should expect they respect the things foreign to them).
And if all of this fails... yes, just watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". LOL
