The world is a cruel place for Christians; most particularly 'adhering' Orthodox Christians; and if you are a convert the attacks are very hard since many orthodox converts have very little real 'Orthodox' support in their personal lives. Most times this may leave some converts in a state of loneliness which after some time may encourage dread and low self esteem.
I council converts who have wives, Husbands, children or other loved ones or special people who are angered or very unhappy with them because of their converting.
Life changes on a regular basis for converts in very small pieces which is a life that is very difficult, tiresome, arduous. You at a point begin to loose your sense of 'who you are' and 'where you are going'.
It may seem after awhile that you are simply just "existing". I am not saying so much 'you' but you as in: anyone who is a convert and truly are struggling to 'live' the Christian Orthodox life regardless of the difficulty.
The challenges facing all orthodox christians in the whole world today especially in America is a very secular, non-religious and a non-christian culture which we are in which has a profound impact and 'unremarkable' influence and erroding effect on the rest of the worlds cultures.
The idea of "Christianity" and "religion" today is viewed in a 'framework' that embraces paganism, homosexuality, lesbianism, racism, adultery, fornication, covetousness, materialism, lude and obscene public displays in all forms from all areas of society including the government and the so-called "churches" and a host of the most hideous, unmentionable and diabolical acts against humanity human beings have ever known. All perpetuated by people who will clearly and confidently state that they are "Christians" ...The same as you and me.
Who would have thought that 'being' christian would entail having to accept such things as 'acceptable' (christian) even if that acceptance was only placating, very minimal or out of ignorance?
We all know that to deny any of these horrible conditions openly will be met with rebuke and scorn by the society (the Christians) we embrace (or suppose to embrace) as our own, a society that says "we are all christian!!!".....as the 'ecuminical' movement states. This 'ecumenism' is gaining much currency among the holy fathers of the Holy Church.
It is a part of our lives today. We must walk a fine line.
Gone are the old days of believing what you 'believe' as a christian (as an orthodox). Now we are quiet if what we believe is not going to satisfy all (or hurt a few). Of course we can not hurt anyone with our "beliefs".
With all this pressure temptation is very strong to simply fall in line with the masses.
Some of us do...and are happier for it; particularly in the US.
We simply opt to 'look orthodox' or be 'orthodox in my own private world'. Or be 'orthodox' when it is conveneint to us and others; and being like everyone else in the meantime. You can not tell orthodox from Hindu , or baptist from Mormon in this scenario.
I guess if that is the way that works for some of us orthodox than so be it. I know most if us permit this for our kids so they they can ...uhm.... "fit in".
Of course this results in the child running away from God later in life in most cases.
But such behavior while it makes it easier to live in our corrupted world peacefully since we put on the ways of the corrupted and the lost.... it in its nature contradicts the teachings of God and as such IS NOT the true faith of the Holy Universal Apostolic Church of God.
Those of us who think this way suffer the most.
Please hold on to your love of God and the true faith. Try to find comfort in the suffering word of God.
Yes! it hurts. But it heals...
I do not mean to presume at all that any of what I said here pertains to you specifically. It does not.
I want you to know that I know how hard the road is for many of us and the circumstances of the difficulty may vary widely of course.
I pray for you that you will find resolve to your woes and that God will give you His peace.
I look forward to future interaction.
Christ is God....Amen