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GabrieltheCelt
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« on: June 10, 2008, 12:51:23 PM » |
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Hi everyone, For the last couple of months, maybe longer, I've been going through some very strange, scary, and depressive states of mind (no thoughts of suicide though). I don't know if they're demonic attacks or what, but I'm really having a difficult time with them so I've decided to get pro-active about it and have decided to 1) discuss this with my priest 2) have a discussion with my doctor and finally 3) stay off the internet for at least a month. For me, I know I'll miss all y'all, but hopefully I'll be back before you know it. If you could, please remember me in your prayers.  In Christ, Gabriel |
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Asteriktos
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« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2008, 12:54:51 PM » |
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Sure thing, hope all will be well!
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« Last Edit: June 10, 2008, 12:55:32 PM by Asteriktos »
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"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." - Plutarch
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EofK
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« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2008, 01:03:47 PM » |
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We'll miss ya around, but I hope everything goes ok. Lord have mercy!
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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jlerms
Sr. Member
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Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: GOA
Posts: 826
O sweet Jesus, cleanse my soul.
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« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2008, 01:13:02 PM » |
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Gabriel you will be in my prayers. Lord have mercy!
juliana
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Tzimis
Site Supporter
OC.net guru
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Faith: Greek Orthodox
Jurisdiction: GOA
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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2008, 01:35:36 PM » |
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Lord, have mercy!
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Excellence of character, then, is a state concerned with choice, lying in a mean relative to us, this being determined by reason and in the way in which the man of practical wisdom would determine it. Now it is a mean between two vices, that which depends on excess and that which depends on defect.
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Entscheidungsproblem
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« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2008, 01:37:31 PM » |
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Lord, have mercy!
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As a result of a thousand million years of evolution, the universe is becoming conscious of itself, able to understand something of its past history and its possible future.
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stashko
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« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2008, 01:50:06 PM » |
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Gospode Pomiluj.....  ...... Lord Have Mercy.... |
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 ГОСПОДЕ ГОСПОДЕ ,ПОГЛЕДАЈ СА НЕБА ,ДОЂИ И ПОСЕТИ ТВОЈ ВИНОГРАД ТВОЈА ДЕСНИЦА ПОСАДИЛА АМИН АМИН. |
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recent convert
Orthodox Chrisitan
High Elder
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Faith: Christian
Jurisdiction: Antiochian (N.A.)
Posts: 1,658
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« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2008, 02:07:16 PM » |
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Lord have mercy.
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Antiochian OC N.A.
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ma2000
Member
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Faith: ORTHODOX
Jurisdiction: ROMANIAN
Posts: 280
Saint Anthony The Great
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« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2008, 02:18:49 PM » |
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Doamne ajuta!
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Asemănându-te obiceiurilor râvnitorului Ilie şi urmând Botezătorului pe drepte cărări, Părinte Antonie, te-ai făcut locuitor pustiului şi ai întărit lumea cu rugăciunile tale. Pentru aceasta, roagă-te lui Hristos Dumnezeu, să mântuiască sufletele noastre.
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2008, 02:33:45 PM » |
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Lord have mercy.
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"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
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Amdetsion
Worship God with all thy strength and all thy might
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Jurisdiction: Ethiopian Patriarchate; Addis Abebe Ethiopia
Posts: 931
HH Abuna Pawlos - Patriarch of Ethiopia
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« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2008, 03:04:09 PM » |
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The world is a cruel place for Christians; most particularly 'adhering' Orthodox Christians; and if you are a convert the attacks are very hard since many orthodox converts have very little real 'Orthodox' support in their personal lives. Most times this may leave some converts in a state of loneliness which after some time may encourage dread and low self esteem.
I council converts who have wives, Husbands, children or other loved ones or special people who are angered or very unhappy with them because of their converting.
Life changes on a regular basis for converts in very small pieces which is a life that is very difficult, tiresome, arduous. You at a point begin to loose your sense of 'who you are' and 'where you are going'.
It may seem after awhile that you are simply just "existing". I am not saying so much 'you' but you as in: anyone who is a convert and truly are struggling to 'live' the Christian Orthodox life regardless of the difficulty.
The challenges facing all orthodox christians in the whole world today especially in America is a very secular, non-religious and a non-christian culture which we are in which has a profound impact and 'unremarkable' influence and erroding effect on the rest of the worlds cultures.
The idea of "Christianity" and "religion" today is viewed in a 'framework' that embraces paganism, homosexuality, lesbianism, racism, adultery, fornication, covetousness, materialism, lude and obscene public displays in all forms from all areas of society including the government and the so-called "churches" and a host of the most hideous, unmentionable and diabolical acts against humanity human beings have ever known. All perpetuated by people who will clearly and confidently state that they are "Christians" ...The same as you and me.
Really!!!
Who would have thought that 'being' christian would entail having to accept such things as 'acceptable' (christian) even if that acceptance was only placating, very minimal or out of ignorance?
We all know that to deny any of these horrible conditions openly will be met with rebuke and scorn by the society (the Christians) we embrace (or suppose to embrace) as our own, a society that says "we are all christian!!!".....as the 'ecuminical' movement states. This 'ecumenism' is gaining much currency among the holy fathers of the Holy Church.
It is a part of our lives today. We must walk a fine line.
Gone are the old days of believing what you 'believe' as a christian (as an orthodox). Now we are quiet if what we believe is not going to satisfy all (or hurt a few). Of course we can not hurt anyone with our "beliefs".
With all this pressure temptation is very strong to simply fall in line with the masses.
Some of us do...and are happier for it; particularly in the US.
We simply opt to 'look orthodox' or be 'orthodox in my own private world'. Or be 'orthodox' when it is conveneint to us and others; and being like everyone else in the meantime. You can not tell orthodox from Hindu , or baptist from Mormon in this scenario.
I guess if that is the way that works for some of us orthodox than so be it. I know most if us permit this for our kids so they they can ...uhm.... "fit in".
Of course this results in the child running away from God later in life in most cases.
But such behavior while it makes it easier to live in our corrupted world peacefully since we put on the ways of the corrupted and the lost.... it in its nature contradicts the teachings of God and as such IS NOT the true faith of the Holy Universal Apostolic Church of God.
Those of us who think this way suffer the most.
Please hold on to your love of God and the true faith. Try to find comfort in the suffering word of God.
Yes! it hurts. But it heals...
I do not mean to presume at all that any of what I said here pertains to you specifically. It does not.
I want you to know that I know how hard the road is for many of us and the circumstances of the difficulty may vary widely of course.
I pray for you that you will find resolve to your woes and that God will give you His peace.
I look forward to future interaction.
Christ is God....Amen
Selaam
Your Servant
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"ETHIOPIA shall soon stretch out her hands unto God".....Psalm 68:vs 31
"Are ye not as children of the ETHIOPIANS unto me, O children of Israel"?....Amos 9: vs 7
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SolEX01
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« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2008, 03:05:36 PM » |
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Lord, have mercy!
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Riddikulus
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« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2008, 06:07:35 PM » |
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Lord have mercy on your servant.
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I believe in One God, maker of heaven and earth and of all things visible and invisible.
Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution.
Theodosius Dobzhansky, Russian Orthodox Christian (1900-1975)
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ozgeorge
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« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2008, 06:18:25 PM » |
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Lord have mercy.
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If you're living a happy life as a Christian, you're doing something wrong.
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Salpy
Section Moderator
Stratopedarches
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Faith: Oriental Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Armenian Church
Posts: 10,522
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« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2008, 07:19:26 PM » |
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Lord have mercy!
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St. Hripsimeh pray for us!
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Heorhij
Hoplitarches
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Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: GOA, for now, but my heart belongs to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church
Posts: 8,576
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« Reply #15 on: June 11, 2008, 11:15:12 AM » |
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Lord, have mercy! Maybe don't go off the Intrernet entirely - just limit your logging time to, say, one hour or 30 min. a day? Anyway, you are in my unworthy prayers, Gabriel.
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Love never fails.
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Fr. George
formerly "Cleveland"
Administrator
Domestikos tou thematos
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Faith: Orthodox (Catholic) Christian
Jurisdiction: GOA - Metropolis of Pittsburgh
Posts: 19,013
May the Lord bless you and keep you always!
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« Reply #16 on: June 11, 2008, 11:29:07 AM » |
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Lord, have mercy.
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"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the one who can't read them." Mark Twain
---------------------
Ordained on 17 & 18-Oct 2009. Please forgive me if earlier posts are poorly worded or incorrect in any way.
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
Section Moderator
Exarchos
 Online
Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 26,181
EXTERMINATE!
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« Reply #17 on: June 14, 2008, 10:50:09 PM » |
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Lord, have mercy on Your servant Gabriel.
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #18 on: July 07, 2008, 11:33:56 PM » |
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Hey everyone,
Just wanted to check in and let y'all know that, with your prayers, I've been making much headway. I think I've disclosed this before that I've been diagnosed with depression and mild anxiety. This isn't a bid for attention or pity; I disclose this in the hopes that it will inspire anyone else who may have depression/anxiety that 1) it's nothing to be ashamed of (more people than you realize has some sort of mental health issue) and 2) there is hope. Like St. Peter who began to drown when he began to doubt, I constantly have to look back up at Jesus. But as strange as it may seem-sometimes I must force myself to call on the Lord. You know, it'd be a gross misunderstanding to blame everything on the Devil, but that 'ol rascal sure knows how to use most everything to bring us down. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers! Lord have mercy on us all.
In Christ,
Gabriel
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jlerms
Sr. Member
Offline
Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: GOA
Posts: 826
O sweet Jesus, cleanse my soul.
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« Reply #19 on: July 07, 2008, 11:49:47 PM » |
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Gabriel, It is great to hear that you are doing better!! I know personally the difficulties of anxiety. It helps me to remember that it is a temporary state which will pass. I will say a prayer for you tonight...as I am sure others will do here. God bless, Juliana |
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Fr. David
The Poster Formerly Known as "Pedro"
Archon
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Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA, Diocese of the South
Posts: 2,825
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« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2008, 01:02:07 AM » |
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Prayers and thanksgiving, brother.
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Entscheidungsproblem
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« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2008, 01:03:21 AM » |
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Lord, have mercy! Great to have you back!
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As a result of a thousand million years of evolution, the universe is becoming conscious of itself, able to understand something of its past history and its possible future.
-- Sir Julian Sorell Huxley FRS |
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ma2000
Member
Offline
Faith: ORTHODOX
Jurisdiction: ROMANIAN
Posts: 280
Saint Anthony The Great
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« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2008, 06:35:49 AM » |
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God bless!
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Asemănându-te obiceiurilor râvnitorului Ilie şi urmând Botezătorului pe drepte cărări, Părinte Antonie, te-ai făcut locuitor pustiului şi ai întărit lumea cu rugăciunile tale. Pentru aceasta, roagă-te lui Hristos Dumnezeu, să mântuiască sufletele noastre.
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Riddikulus
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« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2008, 06:51:06 AM » |
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God be with you, brother.
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I believe in One God, maker of heaven and earth and of all things visible and invisible.
Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution.
Theodosius Dobzhansky, Russian Orthodox Christian (1900-1975)
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EofK
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« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2008, 08:02:02 AM » |
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Good to see you back, brother! Lord have mercy on us all! |
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2008, 02:43:01 PM » |
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We're always praying for you, Gabriel. Glad to see you back here, and good to know you're doing better.
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"It is remarkable that what we call the world...in what professes to be true...will allow in one man no blemishes, and in another no virtue."--Charles Dickens
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #26 on: July 08, 2008, 05:38:23 PM » |
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Everyone, thanks again for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. Here's my recipe for action- Lots of prayer (mine and y'alls), proper diet, exercise, and...drugs (St. John's Wort).  |
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Rosehip
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« Reply #27 on: July 08, 2008, 06:39:11 PM » |
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Gabriel, this is a little belated (my apologies, I've been taking a little break), but I want to let you know I'm thinking of/praying for , you too. I've been struggling with depression a great deal these past two years as well, so I can really empathize with how you're feeling. I do hope with proper self-care you will soon be feeling better. You were missed around here. Be well!
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+ Our dear sister Martha (Rosehip) passed away on Dec 20, 2010. May her memory be eternal! +
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SolEX01
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« Reply #28 on: July 08, 2008, 07:19:20 PM » |
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Rejoice for our brother GabrieltheCelt has returned!  Amen! |
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Heorhij
Hoplitarches
Offline
Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: GOA, for now, but my heart belongs to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church
Posts: 8,576
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« Reply #29 on: July 10, 2008, 04:51:45 AM » |
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Good to have you back, Gabriel. Have you, by any chance, discussed serotonin reuptake inhibitors with your doctor? They can be a wonderful thing (always worked for me...). --G.
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Love never fails.
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username!
Section Moderator
Protokentarchos
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Faith: Ukrainian Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Pennsylvaniadoxy
Posts: 4,096
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« Reply #30 on: July 11, 2008, 12:33:26 AM » |
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Gabriel, Lord Have Mercy
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PeterTheAleut
The Right Blowhard Peter the Furtive of Yetts O'Muckhart
Section Moderator
Exarchos
Online
Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 26,181
EXTERMINATE!
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« Reply #31 on: July 12, 2008, 11:10:43 PM » |
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Glory to God for all things. Welcome back, Gabriel.
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #32 on: July 13, 2008, 01:03:30 AM » |
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Good to have you back, Gabriel. Have you, by any chance, discussed serotonin reuptake inhibitors with your doctor? They can be a wonderful thing (always worked for me...). --G.
Thanks for the advice, Heorhij. Yes, I've discussed various SSRI's and even taken one for a few months. Although there were some positive outcomes with that particular drug, I stopped taking it for a variety of reasons. In their stead, I began combining St. John's Wort with 5-HTP (a seratonin precursor). That little medly, along with exercise and proper diet, has helped tremendously. Everyone has their cross to bear; I suppose this is just one of mine. |
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #33 on: July 13, 2008, 01:06:34 AM » |
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The world is a cruel place for Christians; most particularly 'adhering' Orthodox Christians; and if you are a convert the attacks are very hard since many orthodox converts have very little real 'Orthodox' support in their personal lives. Most times this may leave some converts in a state of loneliness which after some time may encourage dread and low self esteem.
I council converts who have wives, Husbands, children or other loved ones or special people who are angered or very unhappy with them because of their converting.
Life changes on a regular basis for converts in very small pieces which is a life that is very difficult, tiresome, arduous. You at a point begin to loose your sense of 'who you are' and 'where you are going'.
It may seem after awhile that you are simply just "existing". I am not saying so much 'you' but you as in: anyone who is a convert and truly are struggling to 'live' the Christian Orthodox life regardless of the difficulty.
The challenges facing all orthodox christians in the whole world today especially in America is a very secular, non-religious and a non-christian culture which we are in which has a profound impact and 'unremarkable' influence and erroding effect on the rest of the worlds cultures.
The idea of "Christianity" and "religion" today is viewed in a 'framework' that embraces paganism, homosexuality, lesbianism, racism, adultery, fornication, covetousness, materialism, lude and obscene public displays in all forms from all areas of society including the government and the so-called "churches" and a host of the most hideous, unmentionable and diabolical acts against humanity human beings have ever known. All perpetuated by people who will clearly and confidently state that they are "Christians" ...The same as you and me.
Really!!!
Who would have thought that 'being' christian would entail having to accept such things as 'acceptable' (christian) even if that acceptance was only placating, very minimal or out of ignorance?
We all know that to deny any of these horrible conditions openly will be met with rebuke and scorn by the society (the Christians) we embrace (or suppose to embrace) as our own, a society that says "we are all christian!!!".....as the 'ecuminical' movement states. This 'ecumenism' is gaining much currency among the holy fathers of the Holy Church.
It is a part of our lives today. We must walk a fine line.
Gone are the old days of believing what you 'believe' as a christian (as an orthodox). Now we are quiet if what we believe is not going to satisfy all (or hurt a few). Of course we can not hurt anyone with our "beliefs".
With all this pressure temptation is very strong to simply fall in line with the masses.
Some of us do...and are happier for it; particularly in the US.
We simply opt to 'look orthodox' or be 'orthodox in my own private world'. Or be 'orthodox' when it is conveneint to us and others; and being like everyone else in the meantime. You can not tell orthodox from Hindu , or baptist from Mormon in this scenario.
I guess if that is the way that works for some of us orthodox than so be it. I know most if us permit this for our kids so they they can ...uhm.... "fit in".
Of course this results in the child running away from God later in life in most cases.
But such behavior while it makes it easier to live in our corrupted world peacefully since we put on the ways of the corrupted and the lost.... it in its nature contradicts the teachings of God and as such IS NOT the true faith of the Holy Universal Apostolic Church of God.
Those of us who think this way suffer the most.
Please hold on to your love of God and the true faith. Try to find comfort in the suffering word of God.
Yes! it hurts. But it heals...
I do not mean to presume at all that any of what I said here pertains to you specifically. It does not.
I want you to know that I know how hard the road is for many of us and the circumstances of the difficulty may vary widely of course.
I pray for you that you will find resolve to your woes and that God will give you His peace.
I look forward to future interaction.
Christ is God....Amen
Selaam
Your Servant
Selaam, brother. Thanks for the encouraging words. |
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