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Offline sinjinsmythe

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Spiting their pretty faces
« on: July 23, 2003, 03:56:05 PM »
The second article follows this one.  I think both of these columns are quite insightful.

Spiting their pretty faces

Posted: February 3, 2003
1:00 a.m. Eastern

-¬ 2003

A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman - slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.

She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted - a husband and a family.

Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.

While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power - namely, their behavior - she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.

But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.

Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.

The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you - then do the opposite. It's like football GǪ if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.

So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:

Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.

Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.

Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.

Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.

Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.

Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.

If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.

Honey, honey, honey - a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.

Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.

Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.

If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.

Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.

Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.

Vox Day is a novelist and Christian libertarian. He is a member of the SFWA, Mensa and the Southern Baptist Convention. He has been down with Madden since 1992.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2003, 03:58:15 PM by sinjinsmythe »
Life is just one disappointment after another.

Offline sinjinsmythe

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Who let the dogs out?
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2003, 03:57:05 PM »
Who let the dogs out?

Posted: February 10, 2003
1:00 a.m. Eastern

-¬ 2003

Last week's column drew a lot of fire, but you'd probably be surprised at how many women supported what I wrote. The hundreds of e-mails, in fact, ran 4-1 in favor, and that was the women. The male e-mail was, unsurprisingly, unanimously favorable.

A few points deserve addressing. The statistics are from Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, not my imagination. I was not writing about all 30-something women, just the upper-middle-class, college-educated, single women who don't want to be single. I am not single. I do not hate women. I do not suffer fools gladly, especially not critics who can neither read accurately nor write grammatically.

Now, it is important to keep in mind that while 30-something women certainly exacerbate and perpetuate their problem, they did not create it. Their feminist forebears did. But there is another group that adds fuel to the fire, and that is predatory young men. I know this very well, because, were it not for the grace of God, I would still be one of them.

It does not take long for the smart young male to learn that nice guys finish last where women are concerned. Young women in their teens and 20s, for the most part, simply don't respect men who treat them well. But, the observant young male soon learns, if you keep a girl guessing, keep her off-balance and insecure, you can summon her for a late night booty call whenever you want. Thus the once-lovestruck puppy becomes a dog.

Desirable women keep fan clubs of "friends" who wish to date them, holding them in reserve for those times when they need an armpiece or for long-term backup should Prince Charming fail to eventually appear. Desirable men, on the other hand, keep stables of willing women to provide them with sex on demand. Two or three is normal, but a Big Dog will have four or more at his disposal.

He does so without conscience, because it is impossible to provide him with any rational reason he should not. Having been taught since grade school that there is no connection between sex and morality, he is unmoved by appeals to traditional right and wrong. Sex education has wrongly taught him that women enjoy sex as much and as often as he does, and the vulgar, provocative front put up by college girls leads him to believe that they are as casual about it as he is.

He does not respect them, of course - why should he? They are simply there for his use. If a woman turns him down, he will simply shrug and move on. In fact, he may well move on should he not receive adequate satisfaction on the very first date. Those he is using are terrified of admitting their true longings for love and romance to him, as they know he will lose no sleep over informing them that he will no longer be requiring their bodies for his physical pleasure.

Marriage? It doesn't even occur to him. He knows women seek most divorces and is in no hurry to risk losing his future house, savings account and children. After college, he will often live with a woman for a year or two, only to move on to the next if she brings up the M-word too often. By the time he reaches 30, he usually has received and passed on at least one sexually-transmitted disease, hence the popularity of colposcopies in these latter days.

The Big Dog has no problem plucking another girl off the Girl Tree whenever one is needed. He is generally quite content with himself and his life, and he lacks for nothing, except honor. But without it, he is incomplete, because he has not learned that a man is more than the sum of his desires. He is a predator, without morals or mercy, stalking the bars and nightclubs as inerrantly and as voraciously as a great white shark.

He can change, however - he will need a good woman to help him do so. Her education, brains and success do not matter, but her character does. She does not represent a challenge, to him, but inspiration for what he can become. She is, almost surely, not an insecure, bitter, highly educated and career-oriented woman.

Answering the question of who let the dogs out is not difficult. The blame lies with those who decided that the patriarchy would best be undermined by debasing man's oldest currency: sex.

Vox Day is a novelist and Christian libertarian. He is a member of the SFWA, Mensa and the Southern Baptist Convention. He has been down with Madden since 1992.
Life is just one disappointment after another.

Offline Keble

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Re:Spiting their pretty faces
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2003, 04:06:02 PM »
This is pretty typical liberal stuff. I once got into an argument with a bunch of, shall we say, dedicated feminists over the fact that Catholic hospitals refuse to perform abortions and surgical sterilizations. When I suggested that, if they didn't like this then they should work to have alternative hospitals instead, they whined at great length and then went back to their original insistence that the Catholics should be forced to cater to their moral sensibilities.