Wow! Thank you all for your interest and support! I have never received such a concern and willingness to help in such matters. And on an internet forum, no less!
Yes i am interested very much in fr lazarus and his journey, it was after watching that documentary, extreme pilgrim, that i first became interested in christianity and the orthodox way in particular. I woll definitely check out all of those books associated with him that posters have mentioned.
I bow deeply to all of you that have shown so much care for me, a stranger!
Best wishes to you in discovering the Orthodox faith. If you pursue it, you will find tremendous spiritual beauty and something that affects you to the core of your being.
You appear to be currently interested in the bodhisattva 'superior practices', also given the lotus symbol in your posts.
If you already do practice meditation, prayer is an adjustment of aiming the mind like an arrow to God, not so much the effort to sit and watch the mind jumping like a monkey until calm ensues. Forgive me for the very truncated description of meditation, it has been many years since I studied Buddhism, and my writing skills have severely declined through years of performing mathematical work all day.
For me, it took a 'suspension of disbelief' the first time I prayed and I received an epiphany. Others vary and are more inclined to the intellectual formal logic assent of belief. But God is a real living spiritual presence, and is 'everywhere present and fills all things, treasury of every good and bestower of life' not just a mental calculation or a feeling.
Through diligent practice of prayer people begin to enter into a great peace and divine love. It is then we recognize our dependence on God who is our Creator, the ground of our being. All of us are greatly loved by God. And so Christ teaches us that we are to do the same and carry this into our lives with His help. For many people, this takes a lot of time and effort. So prayer, living in the present, training ourselves away from the negative passions, is critical to find the meeting ground in our heart and mind with God.
What PetertheAleut said is right. This is not something done on your own or on the internet, it is done in a community. This is an integral piece of what God wants us to understand.
People generally do not start off by going into a cave to pray. They have to develop a strong foundation of prayer and steadfastness first.