A bit of philosopy on relationships....
Many people see reality as dependent on perception, be it a summation of all perceptions, or each perception is reality for that person. In any event, your perception of a situation greatly influences how you feel and react to a situation. And of course, often people do not receive the opportunity to understand the other side's perceptions.
Now, when a person is dissatisfied with a situation, he has choices.
1. He could try to evoke change.
One cannot force another to change, obviously, so this is accomplished through discussion and understanding of each person for the opposing person's perception. Then, a solution equitable to both arrises. This is best effective when both parties are neither threating, nor feeling threatend. Also, it is most effective when both parties have normal, healthy behavior patterns and are not disfunctional or co-dependant. However, this always has the inherent danger of the other party becoming offended or upset and does have the risk of disasterous results, not to mention simple lack of success. But, if susccessful, allows the initiator to remain, without misery. If the person chooses to use this option, prayer is a good place to start.
2. The person could choose to do nothing and remain in the situation.
This is always an option. But this choice has in itself two choices. To remain exactly as is, and continue to be upset, or to ceace having an emotional responce- to "shrug it off" if you will. This, as a whole, is the responce that involves the concept that the known situation is less threatening than the unknown. It is also the easiest, and safer than the first if you are not certain of the other party's reactions. But, to avoid contenued misery, you would need to cease being upset- not easy in the least. It seems to require a strong sense of self worth -not to mean conciet, but certainlly very little vulnerability- to be successsful. If the person chooses to use this option, prayer is a good place to start.
3. The person could simply leave the situation without confrontation.
This is what some would derisively call this quitting, which is an undesirble choice that is a symtom of dispair. Others would simply think of it as reassessing priorities, which is a great path to contentment. It is truely neither, or rather is both. What it is depends on the person. For this to be positive, it is imperitive that the person is clear on their priorities, and has a fairly good idea of how to fill them. What is important to the person? What priority led the person to be in this particular situation? Is it still the highest priority? Is it still being fullfilled by this situation. Sometimes, it is the priorities that have changed. Sometimes it is what the situation provides that has changed. A person that hasn't worked it out so to speak, will have difficulities achieving a positive solution, and is in danger of acting out of dispair. If the person chooses to use this option, prayer is a good place to start.
I hope that if you can sit back and look at your situation objectively, and consider your priorities, and the personalities of those involved, you can find the solution that is perfect for you.
If only I could get that one forum member-RLMN- to pay attention.... Now where did she get too?