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Author Topic: Didn't go to DL today.  (Read 2183 times) Average Rating: 0
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StGeorge
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St. George


« on: January 27, 2008, 07:40:00 PM »

I didn't go to Divine Liturgy this morning.  I was in too much physical pain and could barely even get out of bed much less dress in time.  Today was relaly rough, and I felt somewhat guilty about not being able to go.  I've been having serious doubts about many of the centrals of the Christian faith, and I've been sinning more--although both of these against my will really.  I just don't know what happened.  The first week and a half after chrismation I felt much different.  Now I feel back to the way I was. 
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Salpy
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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2008, 10:20:24 PM »

You were just recently Chrismated, which was a decision to follow Christ.  satan attacks and temps people who make the decision to draw closer to God.  I think at least part of that is what you are going through.  If you wake up in so much pain that you cannot get to church on time, go anyway for at least a little while, even if you are late.  Better late than never, as they say.  As far as sin goes, that shouldn't keep you away from church, as it is the sinners (like myself) who need church the most.  Trust me, you are not surrounded by perfect people when you go to church.  They are as sinful as you and I are.

Also, I would imagine that immediately after Chrismation you were probably on something of a "spiritual high."  Of course that always eventually goes away and is replaced by the "spiritual blahs," as I like to call it.  I know from personal experience that it can be very hard praying and going to church and feeling close to God during those times.  You just have to try your best.  I recall reading somewhere that a prayer said during the "spiritual blahs" is a greater sacrifice to God than a prayer said during a "spiritual high," since it is so much harder to do.  God knows what you are going through.  Don't give up.  Every Christian goes through this.  Even the Desert Fathers went through this.  It's very normal.  I'll pray for you.

(O.K. everyone:  The Desert Fathers had a technical word for the "spiritual blahs" and I can't remember it.  What was it?  This is going to bother me now.)

Anyway, a good book to read (if you feel like reading) is Beginning to Pray by Fr. Anthony Bloom.  Another good one is Being with God, by Pope Shenouda, but that may be harder to find.  I just found those helpful.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2008, 02:11:38 AM by Salpy » Logged

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« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2008, 01:22:07 AM »

Just to echo Salpy's thoughts- Cheer up, brother!  This is how you can know that you're doing something right because Satan is doing what he can to keep you from following Christ (and he will do anything and everything in his proverbial  bag of tricks).  Afterall, he doesn't bother with those who aren't making an effort.  Whenever these thoughts come into your mind, make the Sign of the Cross (with some Holy Water if possible) and say "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me."
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Salpy
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« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2008, 01:47:29 AM »

(O.K. everyone:  The Desert Fathers had a technical word for the "spiritual blahs" and I can't remember it.  What was it?  This is going to bother me now.)

Is the word I'm thinking of "accidie?"  I'm looking at The Sayings of the Desert Fathers, and one of the sayings for Abba Poemen is "A brother asked Abba Poemen about accidie.  The old man said to him, 'Accidie is there every time one begins something, and there is no worse passion, but if a man recognizes it for what it is, he will gain peace.'"  (Saying number 149)



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« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2008, 03:50:50 AM »

Yes. Don't give up. It is normal to have dry spells in your prayer life. I have been Orthodox my whole life and have had periods of intense prayer and then very dry periods. Don't let your feelings control your prayer life. Continue to go to church and to pray even though you may feel nothing but emptiness. The dry spell will dissipate if you work through it. The dry period is part of the daily struggle. At this time you need grace of Church in your life so don't allow Satan to fool you by keeping you away from the Eucharist. Attend church so you can effectively wage the battle against despair. You cannot battle against him on your own.

May God give you strength!
« Last Edit: January 28, 2008, 11:26:08 AM by Tamara » Logged
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« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2008, 02:32:36 PM »

I would imagine that immediately after Chrismation you were probably on something of a "spiritual high."  Of course that always eventually goes away and is replaced by the "spiritual blahs," as I like to call it.  I know from personal experience that it can be very hard praying and going to church and feeling close to God during those times.  You just have to try your best.  I recall reading somewhere that a prayer said during the "spiritual blahs" is a greater sacrifice to God than a prayer said during a "spiritual high," since it is so much harder to do.  God knows what you are going through.  Don't give up.  Every Christian goes through this. 

I know exactly what Salpy is saying. One year ago, when I was just chrismated (Feb. 2007), I experienced this kind of "spiritual high," and it lasted until approximately Christmas 2007. Now, I am in the "blah." But I trust that with God's help, I'll be out of this "blah" soon. OC.net is a wonderful support group in this regard.
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« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2008, 01:06:25 AM »

Is the word I'm thinking of "accidie?" 

Yes, that is the word.
Accidie is an overcast, grey, rainy, stormy day in the heart. Let's not be "fair weather friends" of God.
The test of our Faith is the storm. It's so easy to have Faith when things are good and the sun is shining.
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« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2008, 08:30:23 PM »

Dear StGeorge,

now i'm not a medical doctor - but i think you may be medically depressed. you need to see a doctor and stop reading so much in to Christianity! let it be - it is what it is! i get the impression that you are trying to find your happiness through religion and when that doesn't bring about your happiness you have issues with it. you have to find your happiness with Christianity not through it (what i mean is that depressed people resort to, for example, alcohol but they don't find happiness there because it wasn't there in the first place). i think you need to sort out your life with Christianity as a part of it and not rely on it because if you don't find what you're looking for there you'll be more upset. (i hope i have made some sort of sense). i don't know you and i apologise if i've offended but i've read a few of your posts of late and that's just an impression i get. People say cheer up but when someone is medically depressed its not as easy as cheering up and getting over it.

take care
JHP17
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