You know I am actually quite scrared to visit an Orthodox Chruch. I am scared that all tbe wonderful things I've read about Orthodox Christianity will all be washed down the tube and when I actually met Orthodox Christians in person.
I am scared of the hypocrite Bishop and other Chruch leaders that may exist. I am scared of being part of corruption.
Thinking like this is actually quite normal when we stop and look around us. It seems
as if our heroes, after promising us things and giving us hope, often turn out to be frauds. As far back as history goes, this has always been the case esp in these days; our sports heroes are brought up on charges of doping. Our political heroes are caught with their pants down. The list goes on and on. But why? What's going on here? Well, we must first start with the Fall. Once we understand the consequences and nature of the Fall, we will be much better off and not as dissappointed when those we look up to are disgraced. The consequences of the Fall (known not as Original
sin but as Ancestral
sin) we call 'illnesses of the heart'. Much more can be said about these illnesses, but suffice it to say that when we are sick or ill we need to take medicine. Now, for practical purposes, Christianity is called a 'religion' but in reality it is nothing of the sort. Orthodox Christianity is, in fact, a Hospital where the therapies of Christ are being applied on a daily basis. With this new understanding of the purpose of the Church, there's no need to wonder at the hypocrisy you are sure to see. After all, you wouldn't wonder or marvel at seeing sick people in medical hospital would you? As Serb1389 posted, Christ didn't come for the righteous, but to heal
Why don't you visit an Orthodox priest and let him help you with these questions? And as Fr. Peter Guillquist says, "Give us a month of Sunday's" (meaning attend the Divine Liturgy every Sunday for one month) so that you can get the 'feel' for what's going on. In the meantime, a book that many people have found insightful is The Mountain of Silence
by Dr. Kyriacos Markides.