God bless you for helping your friend so faithfully!
It's actually kind of funny that this came up when it did, as we were just discussing the authority of the Bishop in another thread...
I want to first say, please understand that when we here on the forum are disapproving of what the priest has said, we do so with love, and not in judgement. The canons of the church have been set out for specifically this reason, and we should follow them as best we can.
My personal opinion is this... A priest should ALWAYS follow the rules of his Bishop. Spiritually, when the Bishop makes a rule, on the day of judgement the responsibility is with him, not the priest, as long as the priest faithfully follows. If a priest disagrees with a rule of the Bishop, then they should either obey with the understanding that it is no longer their responsibility, or they should contact another Bishop on the matter, and that Bishop can handle it within the Synod (for example, in the GOA, if a priest had a problem with something a Bishop said or did, he would appeal to Archbishop Demetrios of America. I don't know who the equivalent is in the ROCOR church).
In the same way that the Bishop is responsible for his decisions, so is the priest. Therefore, should your friend, or any of the other catechumens, decide to go ahead and receive, the responsibility for this is with the priest. They are simply obeying.
This is not to say that she should not take the matter seriously, though. Kudos to her, and God bless her, for realizing that something is wrong with this picture. I would say, rather than church hop, that she should contact either another priest in the same jurisdiction, or the Bishop, for advice on the matter. And as always, if she is not comfortable and does not feel she is approaching the chalice in the proper way, then there is nothing wrong with abstaining. If it were me, I would give the Bishop a call. There is NOTHING wrong with calling the Bishop on spiritual matters like this. As was stated before, the Bishop is the Shepherd of his Flock, and his flock should ALWAYS feel that they can talk to him.
As to the waiting period for catechumens, again, this decision belongs to the Bishop. We are a hierarchical church for a reason. The only canon that I am aware of (but that's not saying much- anyone who knows more about canon law, feel free to jump in here), is the one that mandates a waiting period before a convert can be ordained. That's the only one I am aware of, though. Again, the Bishop is responsible for his decision. He probably had good reason for making it. If a pries disagrees, he should take it up with the Bishop. If a priest feels that there is an exception to the rule, he should inform and seek the blessing of the Bishop. Otherwise, priests should obey bishops or seek out another bishop for help (as I said before). If the Bishop is found to be corrupt, than that will happen by the decision of the conciliar synod, not by the decision of a priest. Don't take the burden of the Bishop's decisions onto your shoulders. Especially when it comes to this particular rule, there is nothing, whatsoever, wrong with following the Bishop's rule.
As to finding another catechism class, I would advise that she speak with the Bishop before making this decision. Just call him and ask for his blessings and guidance. He will be kind, I'm sure, and probably more than willing to help a faithful catechuman on their journey. Mind you, I'm not advocating tattling here, just seeking his guidance, because she is aware of the problem (the whole "don't tell anyone" thing), and does not feel that she can approach the chalice without his approval.
Again, God bless you both, and don't worry too much. Just seek the advice of the Bishop and have faith! God will guide you...
Pray for me a sinner...