Author Topic: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"  (Read 5719 times)

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Offline Ian Lazarus

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Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« on: December 03, 2007, 11:53:42 PM »
Some people are fond of listening to the "All Christmas Songs All Day and Night Long" station, and love hearing the same station over in the stores that they shop in, the Barber shops, the restaurants, the schools, the pre-post Christmas parties, in Junior's crib, in the movie theatre lobby, at the pizzaria, at the gas station, at the Jiffy Lube, at the Break Check, at Lowe's, at Wal Mart, at the Chinese food place, at the Indian food place, in the Funeral Home and durring major surgery, but after about three days of that, I GET SICK OF IT!  I'm tired of hearing "Chestnuts Roasting" "Slieghride" "Here comes Santa Clause" and "Merry Christmas Darling" all in a row done by Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra, or some other singer who recorded on one of those big clunky 50's microphones and always seemed upstaged by their black up singers.  So, when I was in High School, when we first heard Novelty Christmas songs poking fun of these caroling classics, they took their place. 

So, do you have any novelty Christmas songs that ring in the mind at this time of year?  Something to make you giggle durring the holiday assault of candy canes and Santamen?
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Offline scamandrius

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2007, 12:02:29 AM »
So, do you have any novelty Christmas songs that ring in the mind at this time of year?  Something to make you giggle durring the holiday assault of candy canes and Santamen?

For those of you familiar with Black Sabbath's Iron Man, this is a parody of that song subsituting Santa Claus for Iron Man.  I've always thought it was hysterical.  Here is a link so that you can hear it (no video on this one).  It may also help if you heard the original Black Sabbath song, so I've included that, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwywugjy3BY&feature=related (original Black Sabbath song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFX3I209LVM&feature=related (I am Santa Claus)
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Offline Veniamin

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2007, 12:12:42 AM »
Well, I have to admit I've always been fond of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."  Come to think of it, I may have to break that one out just to annoy my fiancee the Christmas-nazi.
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Offline Ian Lazarus

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2007, 12:17:47 AM »
"For I am With thee, withersoever thou goest"

Joshua 1:9

Offline Veniamin

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2007, 12:21:50 AM »
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Offline Carole

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2007, 11:01:00 AM »
So, do you have any novelty Christmas songs that ring in the mind at this time of year?  Something to make you giggle durring the holiday assault of candy canes and Santamen?

I dearly enjoy my "Twisted Christmas" album by Twisted Sister (it's the 80s headbanger in me I just love my hair bands :D ).  I also very much like my "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas" Tales From the Crypt Christmas album.  It's twisted and dark and anything but Christmas-y but it is funny in a very twisted sort of way.
Carole

Offline EofK

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2007, 11:03:24 AM »
I'll leave it to y'all to decide how funny it is, but Jingle Cats is a fantastic way to clear a room of unwanted holiday guests.   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHD4bcZWZdc

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Offline Schultz

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2007, 11:04:41 AM »
I dearly enjoy my "Twisted Christmas" album by Twisted Sister (it's the 80s headbanger in me I just love my hair bands :D ). 

Agreed!  That album is one of the finest achievements from one of my favorite bands of all time.  

I also thoroughly enjoy Brian Setzer's Christmas material and my wife and I always try to go see his Christmas show when it comes through town.
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Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2007, 01:04:48 AM »
Then there's Weird Al Yankovic and his song "Christmas at Ground Zero"...  Now that's messed up. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGdrMOttV_s
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Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2007, 01:06:47 AM »
I'll leave it to y'all to decide how funny it is, but Jingle Cats is a fantastic way to clear a room of unwanted holiday guests.   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHD4bcZWZdc


How in the world do you even get a herd of cats together to do such a thing?
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Offline EofK

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2007, 01:27:55 PM »
How in the world do you even get a herd of cats together to do such a thing?

Got me... must be Christmas magic.  Or lots of cans of tuna.   ;D
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Offline ozgeorge

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2007, 12:52:53 AM »
Then there's Weird Al Yankovic and his song "Christmas at Ground Zero"...  Now that's messed up. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGdrMOttV_s

ROFL! :D

It's good to have a laugh. Christmas is such a high stress time with shopping, cooking, cleaning, having guests over, trying to get on with people you don't like....
All in all, it's a very inconvenient time of year for Jesus to be born.
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Offline Heorhij

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2007, 05:08:22 PM »
Thanks for the laughs, all!

Actually, I do recall a conversation with my daughter when she was in 3-d or 4-th grade, when she very seriously tried to convince me that "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is a Christmas *CAROL*. Her teacher at school allegedly said that... :)
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Offline Minnesotan

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2014, 09:33:50 PM »
Not so much an intentional novelty, but it's a song that gets strong reactions out of a lot of people: "Christmas Shoes".
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2014, 09:38:21 PM »
Not really into it that much, but it is somewhat humorous hearing Saruman (kinda, sorta) sing in a heavy metal context.

Offline kelly

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2014, 09:43:45 PM »
I find "Last Christmas" by Wham! to be incredibly depressing if you listen to the lyrics, but I can't help but always sing along to it. I should be ashamed but I'm not.

"Santa Baby" sends me into a blind rage.
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Offline Nephi

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2014, 09:54:53 PM »
Working retail makes me hate popular Christmas music even more than ever before. The same 30-ish songs on repeat every single day for a month.

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2014, 10:19:39 PM »
Working retail makes me hate popular Christmas music even more than ever before. The same 30-ish songs on repeat every single day for a month.

I know exactly how you feel; I work retail too and I've observed (and been annoyed by) the same thing.

They really should add a broader variety of music to their playlist, rather than just the same old standards over and over again. Maybe something off the beaten path like this or this or this (take that Megyn Kelly!) or this or this, or anything off this album (I do love those Oaks).
« Last Edit: December 12, 2014, 10:20:42 PM by Minnesotan »
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Offline Minnesotan

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2014, 10:33:47 PM »
"Santa Baby" sends me into a blind rage.

I once heard a punk rock version of that song--with a male vocalist!
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #19 on: December 12, 2014, 10:55:20 PM »
Working retail makes me hate popular Christmas music even more than ever before. The same 30-ish songs on repeat every single day for a month.

For sure. In the car there's two local 24/7 FM stations in an "all Christmas classic" format which feature thirty songs by ten or so mostly dead white guys; a "contemporary" Sirius Christmas station  with thirty songs by ten or so living artists; a "traditional" Sirius station with forty songs by fifteen or so mostly dead artists and a country Christmas station with the same thirty songs covered by country singers plus "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer." Bah, humbug.

Offline Opus118

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2014, 12:28:24 AM »
On the Itunes Internet Radio section, under classical, KING FM Classical Christmas Channel is pretty good. I had it playing for two days straight at work with no complaints.

In regard to messed up, I heard a country and western song on the radio called "Open Me First" by Tammy WhyNot. I am not linking to it, but it is on the internet.

Offline Alveus Lacuna

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2014, 01:35:31 AM »
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x857JuruAfs

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2014, 02:14:20 AM »
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x857JuruAfs
King Diamond... Many hard rockers of his day would put Satan lyrics in their music to sell records (think the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil", Van Halen's "Runnin' with the Devil", AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" and "Highway to Hell", etc.), but King Diamond is reported to have been one of the only rock bands/soloists that was actually a deliberate follower of Satanism.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2014, 02:23:57 AM by PeterTheAleut »
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Offline LBK

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2014, 03:35:21 AM »
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x857JuruAfs
King Diamond... Many hard rockers of his day would put Satan lyrics in their music to sell records (think the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil", Van Halen's "Runnin' with the Devil", AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" and "Highway to Hell", etc.), but King Diamond is reported to have been one of the only rock bands/soloists that was actually a deliberate follower of Satanism.

Sympathy for the Devil has nothing at all to do with Satanism. It was written in the aftermath of RFK's assassination, and is an anguished lament on mankind's seemingly intractable resorting to war, conflict and killing across history.
Am I posting? Or is it Schroedinger's Cat?

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2014, 03:51:08 AM »
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x857JuruAfs
King Diamond... Many hard rockers of his day would put Satan lyrics in their music to sell records (think the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil", Van Halen's "Runnin' with the Devil", AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" and "Highway to Hell", etc.), but King Diamond is reported to have been one of the only rock bands/soloists that was actually a deliberate follower of Satanism.

Sympathy for the Devil has nothing at all to do with Satanism. It was written in the aftermath of RFK's assassination, and is an anguished lament on mankind's seemingly intractable resorting to war, conflict and killing across history.
I never said that "Sympathy for the Devil" had anything to do with Satanism. ;)
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Offline LBK

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2014, 03:59:12 AM »
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x857JuruAfs
King Diamond... Many hard rockers of his day would put Satan lyrics in their music to sell records (think the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil", Van Halen's "Runnin' with the Devil", AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" and "Highway to Hell", etc.), but King Diamond is reported to have been one of the only rock bands/soloists that was actually a deliberate follower of Satanism.

Sympathy for the Devil has nothing at all to do with Satanism. It was written in the aftermath of RFK's assassination, and is an anguished lament on mankind's seemingly intractable resorting to war, conflict and killing across history.
I never said that "Sympathy for the Devil" had anything to do with Satanism. ;)

And the writers of the song didn't include the references to Lucifer in their song simply to boost record sales, as you asserted.  :police:
Am I posting? Or is it Schroedinger's Cat?

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2014, 04:02:21 AM »
King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x857JuruAfs
King Diamond... Many hard rockers of his day would put Satan lyrics in their music to sell records (think the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil", Van Halen's "Runnin' with the Devil", AC/DC's "Hell's Bells" and "Highway to Hell", etc.), but King Diamond is reported to have been one of the only rock bands/soloists that was actually a deliberate follower of Satanism.

Sympathy for the Devil has nothing at all to do with Satanism. It was written in the aftermath of RFK's assassination, and is an anguished lament on mankind's seemingly intractable resorting to war, conflict and killing across history.
I never said that "Sympathy for the Devil" had anything to do with Satanism. ;)

And the writers of the song didn't include the references to Lucifer in their song simply to boost record sales, as you asserted.  :police:
Give it up, LBK. :police: You're no fun when you absolutely must win the argument. Is it really that important why the Stones made reference to Lucifer in "Sympathy for the Devil"? I really don't care. I made a passing reference to the Stones to make a point about King Diamond, and even that was a silly aside on a thread about messed up Christmas songs.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2014, 04:04:33 AM by PeterTheAleut »
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Offline LBK

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2014, 04:11:25 AM »
Quote
Is it really that important why the Stones made reference to Lucifer in "Sympathy for the Devil"?

It is when you're trying to get out of saying what you did.  ::)
Am I posting? Or is it Schroedinger's Cat?

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #28 on: December 13, 2014, 04:18:24 AM »
Quote
Is it really that important why the Stones made reference to Lucifer in "Sympathy for the Devil"?

It is when you're trying to get out of saying what you did.  ::)
Oh bother!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhl4oKvxphs
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Offline podkarpatska

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #29 on: December 13, 2014, 09:24:45 PM »
Quote
Is it really that important why the Stones made reference to Lucifer in "Sympathy for the Devil"?

It is when you're trying to get out of saying what you did.  ::)
Oh bother!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhl4oKvxphs

I heard if you play Elvis's cover of  'Blue Christmas' backwards at half speed, the lyrics say 'the "king is alive'.... ;)

Offline Opus118

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #30 on: December 13, 2014, 11:30:24 PM »
Quote
Is it really that important why the Stones made reference to Lucifer in "Sympathy for the Devil"?

It is when you're trying to get out of saying what you did.  ::)
Oh bother!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhl4oKvxphs

From someone that always disliked the Rolling Stones (more so than the the Beatles) this argument makes no sense.

Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2014, 01:09:10 AM »
Quote
Is it really that important why the Stones made reference to Lucifer in "Sympathy for the Devil"?

It is when you're trying to get out of saying what you did.  ::)
Oh bother!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhl4oKvxphs

From someone that always disliked the Rolling Stones (more so than the the Beatles) this argument makes no sense.
What argument?
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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2014, 08:54:55 AM »
Well, I have to admit I've always been fond of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."  Come to think of it, I may have to break that one out just to annoy my fiancee the Christmas-nazi.

I love that one too! But if it were to actually happen to my grandmother, then I would never want to hear it again.

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Offline Hamartolos

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2014, 09:11:01 AM »
That stupid "marshmallow world" song that Target has been playing 150 million times this season.  Wasn't aware that it was actually a song, but I hate it and it doesn't make any sense (as far as songs go).
« Last Edit: December 14, 2014, 09:11:33 AM by Hamartolos »

Offline Nephi

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2014, 04:09:10 PM »
That stupid "marshmallow world" song that Target has been playing 150 million times this season.  Wasn't aware that it was actually a song, but I hate it and it doesn't make any sense (as far as songs go).

That's unfortunately on my store's (not a Target) Christmas playlist as well.

Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #35 on: December 17, 2014, 11:29:44 AM »

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #36 on: December 19, 2014, 09:46:04 PM »
Working retail makes me hate popular Christmas music even more than ever before. The same 30-ish songs on repeat every single day for a month.

I know exactly how you feel; I work retail too and I've observed (and been annoyed by) the same thing.

They really should add a broader variety of music to their playlist, rather than just the same old standards over and over again. Maybe something off the beaten path like this or this or this (take that Megyn Kelly!) or this or this, or anything off this album (I do love those Oaks).

I should give my workplace more credit, though. They do play some more out-of-the-way Christmas songs, some of which are quite good. I would never have heard this Extreme-ly awesome track if it weren't for them.
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Offline Alxandra

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #37 on: December 19, 2014, 09:56:18 PM »
I love Celine Dion's Christmas albums   :D
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Offline Nephi

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #38 on: December 20, 2014, 03:10:22 AM »
Working retail makes me hate popular Christmas music even more than ever before. The same 30-ish songs on repeat every single day for a month.

I know exactly how you feel; I work retail too and I've observed (and been annoyed by) the same thing.

They really should add a broader variety of music to their playlist, rather than just the same old standards over and over again. Maybe something off the beaten path like this or this or this (take that Megyn Kelly!) or this or this, or anything off this album (I do love those Oaks).

I should give my workplace more credit, though. They do play some more out-of-the-way Christmas songs, some of which are quite good. I would never have heard this Extreme-ly awesome track if it weren't for them.

Can't say I'm too fond of that song myself, but we're stuck with nonsense like A Marshmallow World, songs from old Christmas claymation films, and over-done decades-old renditions of the standard songs. Oh, and less often that old "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas."

Ugh.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2014, 03:10:49 AM by Nephi »

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #39 on: December 23, 2014, 01:48:56 AM »
They play this one too, on occasion. It's pretty dark (and the video is, too). Much of it was shot at Qumran (in the West Bank, where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found).
« Last Edit: December 23, 2014, 01:58:10 AM by Minnesotan »
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Offline PeterTheAleut

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #40 on: December 23, 2014, 09:14:18 PM »
Here's one for you:

I Saw Santa Punching Arius
Not all who wander are lost.

Offline Minnesotan

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #41 on: December 26, 2014, 12:51:09 AM »
And here's 20 of 'em.

Christmas and gangsta rap just don't go together well....do they?
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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #42 on: December 26, 2014, 01:19:44 AM »
Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.

What kind of sick tyrant would enjoy making a song about elder abuse  ??? My grandma may be one of those crazy Mexican Catholics who abused my mom but I can't say I'd want her to get ran over.
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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #43 on: December 26, 2014, 02:29:36 AM »
Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.

What kind of sick tyrant would enjoy making a song about elder abuse  ??? My grandma may be one of those crazy Mexican Catholics who abused my mom but I can't say I'd want her to get ran over.

When I was a kid and my family attended a Church of God in Tennessee, that was one song that everyone got a kick out of during the Christmas pageant.  We just loved elderly abuse.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Re: Messed Up "Christmas Songs"
« Reply #44 on: December 26, 2014, 02:40:05 AM »
Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.

What kind of sick tyrant would enjoy making a song about elder abuse  ??? My grandma may be one of those crazy Mexican Catholics who abused my mom but I can't say I'd want her to get ran over.

When I was a kid and my family attended a Church of God in Tennessee, that was one song that everyone got a kick out of during the Christmas pageant.  We just loved elderly abuse.

Speaking of elderly abuse, there's actually a song about kids beating up Father Christmas.
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