Author Topic: Kind of a quandry  (Read 951 times)

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Offline Quinault

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Kind of a quandry
« on: December 01, 2007, 09:01:59 PM »
About 14 months ago we helped a woman at our last church. She had a husband that was seemingly abusive. I am sure that he DID hit her on ocassion, but I also know that she tended to incite him when he was drunk.

Anyway, she was actually arrested and had to stay away from her husband and their house while everything was worked out. It was a case where SHE called the police because he was getting violent, they show up and she has no marks and he does, so she is arrested. At the time our old protestant church was working on helping the couple reconcile. We let her live with us, and I did everything I could to both be a good friend AND follow the leadership of the church we both were attending. They asked me to continue on encouraging them both to go to counseling and to try and work it out. She abruptly filed for divorce about a month and a half into the process. It was then announced by our old church that they supported the husband in this matter and not the wife since the husband was willing to go thru counseling together and the wife was not.

Fast forward to now. She want to be in contact again. She just had a baby out of wedlock about a month ago. Which means that she got pregnant 10mths ago. Which means that she was pregnant about 6 weeks after she started divorce proceedings.

I don't really know how I feel about all this. One of the allegations by her now ex-husband is that she was cheating on him. It just seems like getting pregnant while filing for divorce is a poor thing to do. And it really lends credance to her ex-husbands claims to my mind.

I want to be a good friend, but I don't want to be sucked by her so she can feel validation either. She wanted to have children and her ex "wasn't ready yet." That was one of the many things that they had problems with.

She is "struggling in her faith," not attending church, and living with the father of her baby. Should I try and help/talk to her?