That's not what I or anyone else sad. If you were married in the church, the Church prefers that your marriage remain the only one. If your wife dies, then the preference is to remain a widower. But you can remarry. If your wife leaves you, then the preference is to not re-marry. But you can remarry. If you leave your wife, then the preference is to not remarry. But you can remarry.
I don't think that is the rule. I think someone who divorces can remarry ( even if he was a bum) but widowers are expected to remain alone. I think it has something to do with who your wife is in the afterlife... It's a flawed theory IMHO.
>>The guy who is a bum whose marriage breaks up will probably be required to reconcile himself with the Church before even receiving communion, let alone getting remarried. You wouldn't have to do any such thing in order to be remarried. So your hypothetical situation doesn't even apply.<<
Sure it does... I am expected to remain single and he is not.
>>Even if you do get remarried, and the priest uses the penitential second marriage, it is still the Church blessing the union. Chances are, if it's the woman's first marriage, that the full Marriage service will be used instead of the penitential one. Even if she is a widow, and you use the second service, it is still not an analogous situation to the "bum" who gets divorced, has to go to confession and be reconciled, and then have the penitential service for his second marriage.<<<
Once again.. A divorced man is not asked to remain single , a widower is.
They will cave in on any count and allow a second marriage but that is beside the point. A divorced man is not expected to remain single but a widower is.