I dont understand this one. I lost my wife not too long ago. I was faithful and loving and patient to the end. I cant remarry with the full blessing of the Church.
But the guy whose marrige broke up because he was a bum, can.
Doesnt seem right.
That's not what I or anyone else sad. If you were married in the church, the Church prefers that your marriage remain the only one. If your wife dies, then the preference is to remain a widower. But you can remarry. If your wife leaves you, then the preference is to not re-marry. But you can remarry. If you leave your wife, then the preference is to not remarry. But you can remarry.
The guy who is a bum whose marriage breaks up will probably be required to reconcile himself with the Church before even receiving communion, let alone getting remarried. You wouldn't have to do any such thing in order to be remarried. So your hypothetical situation doesn't even apply.
Even if you do get remarried, and the priest uses the penitential second marriage, it is still the Church blessing the union. Chances are, if it's the woman's first marriage, that the full Marriage service will be used instead of the penitential one. Even if she is a widow, and you use the second service, it is still not an analogous situation to the "bum" who gets divorced, has to go to confession and be reconciled, and then have the penitential service for his second marriage.
The only things that absolutely prevent remarriage (outside of certain deformities that are often not considered impediments anymore) are those conditions or actions that separate oneself from the Church - if you're out of communion, you can't do any
sacrament other than Confession (assuming you were already baptized/chrismated) - or that bind you even more closely to the potential spouse (within 6 degrees of relationship).