Author Topic: English summary of my thesis  (Read 996 times)

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Offline Dominika

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English summary of my thesis
« on: June 23, 2016, 09:11:08 AM »
As most of you are native English speakers, I decided to ask you to check the English summary of my thesis "Saint John Damascene and Islam" ;) It's translation from the Polish summary.

That's the text:
Saint John Damascene, whose life covered practically the whole time of the Umayyad Caliphate’s duration, being one of the greatest Fathers of Eastern and Western Churches, is one of the first Christian theologians that has undertaken polemics against Islam, which he had known before his literary activity, as he had been a functionary at the caliph’s court. This thesis places John Damascene in certain period and in mixed, Byzantine-Arabic environment; Damascene, writing in Greek and being most likely an Arab, had an opportunity to have close and distant at the same time perspective regarding Islam and his information and observations about this religion were being repeated and used by later Christian authors. His works are a valuable opportunity to look into early Christian perception of Islam as well as Islam itself in its first century of existence.
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Offline Opus118

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2016, 11:39:43 AM »
It definitely needs editing and rearranging. I do not have time and there are multiple ways to rearrange the text and making shorter sentences. It would take me an hour but I bet wgw could to it in five minutes.

Offline FinnJames

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2016, 01:32:31 PM »
In my experience, no two editors ever agree entirely on any text so I've sent you a version as a private message. Feel free to use or amend it if others send you suggestions you like better. By the way, American English is my native language.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2016, 01:33:46 PM by FinnJames »

Offline Dominika

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2016, 04:10:21 PM »
It definitely needs editing and rearranging. I do not have time and there are multiple ways to rearrange the text and making shorter sentences. It would take me an hour but I bet wgw could to it in five minutes.
Yeah, the problem is that I've written such long and complex sentences in Polish original that I can't change now, so I just fell into a trap prepared by my own ;) regarding the translation into English ;) I do write a lot in Polish, but it's been the last thing I've done in this thesis, so probably I was tired, and I see even the Polish text is not good. The worst thing is that this summary are in fact only 3 long sentences.

In my experience, no two editors ever agree entirely on any text so I've sent you a version as a private message. Feel free to use or amend it if others send you suggestions you like better. By the way, American English is my native language.

I've got it, thank you very much :) I'll wait a few hours, maybe somebody will give his/her opinion too. And I didn't know that English is your native language ;)
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Offline minasoliman

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2016, 04:26:17 PM »
While my native language is American English, I can send this to my sister for editting.  She is a grammar Nazi, and she can make this sound really better that I could imagine if you like.
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Offline Dominika

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2016, 04:51:10 PM »
While my native language is American English, I can send this to my sister for editting.  She is a grammar Nazi, and she can make this sound really better that I could imagine if you like.
Haha. If she can do it in a few next hours, that's ok. If not, don't bother her :)
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Offline minasoliman

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2016, 07:23:01 PM »
Unfortunately she promised tomorrow :/
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Offline Tallitot

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2016, 03:19:52 PM »
deleted by OP.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2016, 03:20:16 PM by Tallitot »
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Offline Iconodule

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2016, 03:29:51 PM »
I would do it like this:

Saint John Damascene, whose life covered practically the entire duration of the Ummayad Caliphate, is one of the first Christian theologians to have undertaken polemics against Islam, with which he had prior experience as a functionary at the caliph's court. This thesis places John Damascene within his period in a mixed Byzantine-Arabic environment; writing in Greek and most likely an Arab, Damascene had an opportunity to view Islam simultaneously up close and from a distance. His observations would be cited and repeated by later Christian authors, and his works today offer an invaluable glimpse into the early Christian perception of Islam as well as Islam's own self-image in the first century of its existence.
Quote
But it had not been in Tess's power - nor is it in anybody's power - to feel the whole truth of golden opinions while it is possible to profit by them. She - and how many more - might have ironically said to God with Saint Augustine, "Thou hast counselled a better course than thou hast permitted."
Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles

Offline Dominika

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2016, 03:57:02 PM »
Dear Iconodule, I defended this thesis more than 2 months ago :P
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Offline Iconodule

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2016, 04:09:02 PM »
Oops! Sorry. I blame Tallitot.
Quote
But it had not been in Tess's power - nor is it in anybody's power - to feel the whole truth of golden opinions while it is possible to profit by them. She - and how many more - might have ironically said to God with Saint Augustine, "Thou hast counselled a better course than thou hast permitted."
Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles

Offline IreneOlinyk

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2016, 06:25:39 PM »
I would do it like this:

Saint John Damascene, whose life covered practically the entire duration of the Ummayad Caliphate, is one of the first Christian theologians to have undertaken polemics against Islam, with which he had prior experience as a functionary at the caliph's court. This thesis places John Damascene within his period in a mixed Byzantine-Arabic environment; writing in Greek and most likely an Arab, Damascene had an opportunity to view Islam simultaneously up close and from a distance. His observations would be cited and repeated by later Christian authors, and his works today offer an invaluable glimpse into the early Christian perception of Islam as well as Islam's own self-image in the first century of its existence.
Very good work.  It now makes sense.

Offline ialmisry

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2016, 07:04:25 PM »
In my experience, no two editors ever agree entirely on any text so I've sent you a version as a private message. Feel free to use or amend it if others send you suggestions you like better. By the way, American English is my native language.
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Offline ialmisry

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2016, 07:06:12 PM »
Dear Iconodule, I defended this thesis more than 2 months ago :P
Where's it available?
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
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Offline Dominika

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2016, 07:14:27 PM »
Dear Iconodule, I defended this thesis more than 2 months ago :P
Where's it available?
It's in Polish ;) Only summary has to be in English too...
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Offline ialmisry

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2016, 08:11:10 PM »
Dear Iconodule, I defended this thesis more than 2 months ago :P
Where's it available?
It's in Polish ;) Only summary has to be in English too...
So, where's it available in Polish...
Question a friend, perhaps he did not do it; but if he did anything so that he may do it no more.
A hasty quarrel kindles fire,
and urgent strife sheds blood.
If you blow on a spark, it will glow;
if you spit on it, it will be put out;
                           and both come out of your mouth

Offline iohanne

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2016, 08:30:53 PM »
Hello! Here are my suggestions which you can totally disregard if you like but perhaps you may find it useful. This is the kind of elevated, and perhaps slightly pompous, style that I tended to use throughout my undergraduate degree. My suggestions are bolded and italicised. Please note that since I'm Canadian, I use the -ise ending more than the -ize and I'm actually still quite confused as to which is more appropriate in which circumstances.


Saint John Damascene, whose life covered practically the whole time period of the Umayyad Caliphate’s duration, being is considered one of the greatest Fathers of the Eeastern and Wwestern Churches, and is one of the first Christian theologians that has to have undertaken polemics polemicised against Islam, with which he had known been familiar before his literary activity, as he had having been a functionary at the caliph’s court. This thesis places John Damascene in a certain period that I would characterise as a and in mixed, Byzantine-Arabic environment; Damascene, writing in Greek and though being most likely an Arab, had an opportunity to have a close and, at the same time, distant at the same time perspective regarding on Islam and therefore, his the information that he suppliesand his observations about concerning this religion were being have been repeated and used by later Christian authors. His works are a valuable opportunity to look into investigate the early Christian perception of Islam, as well as Islam itself in its the first century of its existence.

Here is a much more refined final version of my edit:

Saint John Damascene, whose life covered practically the whole period of the Umayyad Caliphate, is considered one of the greatest Fathers of the eastern and western Churches and is one of the first Christian theologians to have polemicised against Islam, with which he had been familiar before his literary activity, having been a functionary at the caliph’s court. This thesis places John Damascene in a certain period that I would characterise as a mixed, Byzantine-Arabic environment; Damascene, writing in Greek, though most likely an Arab, had an opportunity to have a close and, at the same time, distant perspective on Islam and therefore, the information that he supplies and his observations concerning this religion have been repeated and used by later Christian authors. His works are a valuable opportunity to investigate the early Christian perception of Islam, as well as Islam itself in the first century of its existence.

Good luck with your thesis! This sounds fascinating. One of my favourite sources on this topic is "The Church in the Shadow of the Mosque" by Griffith.

Offline iohanne

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #17 on: September 08, 2016, 09:21:20 PM »
Whoops, my apologies. I only just read the rest of the thread. Congratulations on having defended your thesis months ago!

Offline FinnJames

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2016, 12:06:27 AM »
Dear Iconodule, I defended this thesis more than 2 months ago :P
Where's it available?
It's in Polish ;) Only summary has to be in English too...

There's one more reason to learn Polish.

Offline Dominika

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Re: English summary of my thesis
« Reply #19 on: September 09, 2016, 07:18:41 AM »
Dear Iconodule, I defended this thesis more than 2 months ago :P
Where's it available?
It's in Polish ;) Only summary has to be in English too...
So, where's it available in Polish...

In PDF on my computer (please PM, I can send it to you if you're interested), in hard copy on university. Well, Warsaw University has its on-line system with studens works being defended, but it seems that only proffessors has an access to it :/
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