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Author Topic: Babies and social life  (Read 2111 times) Average Rating: 0
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ytterbiumanalyst
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« on: October 18, 2007, 04:02:05 PM »

This rather obvious finding I found interesting, probably because of my own being due any day now.

The story

Quote
The survey of 2,000 new mothers, whose average age was 29, was commissioned by Mother & Baby magazine and Tesco to establish how well they adjusted to modern motherhood.

It found the vast majority felt cut off from family, friends and work colleagues, while their partners often threw themselves into their work and went out afterwards to relieve tension.
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« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2007, 05:37:21 PM »

Mr. Y - please don't let this article scare you.  New parents get so little sleep they're too tired to have a social life.   Wink   But if by social life they mean partying, drinking and hanging out, then it's no loss.  I think this lack of a social life affects first time moms and dads more than second time parents. It's a big adjustment and yes, there are a lot of a changes and stresses.  But it's only as limiting as you make it.  You have to force yourself to get out, meet other new parents, and really make the time to keep connected to your spouse.  Especially with breastfeeding moms, your life becomes focused on feeding the baby (those first few weeks it's round the clock eating - you hardly ever get a chance to button up your shirt).

Keep us posted on the new baby news, and we'll understand if your social life on OC Net dwindles a bit.
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« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2007, 06:39:44 PM »

LOL
Like we really have a social life anyway!   Cheesy

Seriously, though, I'm not declining any grandparental offerings to babysit.  Even if it's a trip to the grocery store, it'll be worth putting on the costume jewelry.
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« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2007, 07:01:33 PM »

Mr Y.

You have to get creative. We took our newborn to restaurants with us. Albeit we ate with the oldsters because we ate out early like 5:00 pm because little angel had to be in bed by 7 p.m.  Wink
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« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2007, 12:44:54 AM »

I would seriously like to see the questions asked and the demographics of the folks participating in the study.  I have never heard of anyone being cutoff from their family after having a new baby.  I've heard of parents cutting off the family because they couldn't stand the interference.  Of course, if Baby Magazine studied 15 year-old single girls and super-models, then, yeah, that's probably what they'd say.

We've got four, but the grandparents live nearby.  We go to the YMCA a lot. 
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TinaG
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« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2007, 03:21:52 AM »

Mr Y.
You have to get creative. We took our newborn to restaurants with us. Albeit we ate with the oldsters because we ate out early like 5:00 pm because little angel had to be in bed by 7 p.m.  Wink

Mrs. Y - Aserb's right - restaurants are a great idea.  It's easier to eat out with a newborn than an active older baby.  Newborns only have one thing on their mind and that's eating.  Or try and go right after you've topped them off with a good feed and they should sleep through.  Get a large booth if you can (easier to nurse in then a table out in the middle of the room.  And if you get "The Look" from anyone that means "can't you feed that baby in the bathroom or out in the car", it is perfectly ok to impale them with steak knives or stone them with salt and pepper shakers.  Also practice your one line nasty responses and haughty withering stare that nursing moms are entitled to.

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« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2007, 09:08:58 AM »

And if you get "The Look" from anyone that means "can't you feed that baby in the bathroom or out in the car", it is perfectly ok to impale them with steak knives or stone them with salt and pepper shakers.  Also practice your one line nasty responses and haughty withering stare that nursing moms are entitled to.

Ooh, yeah, I'll have to get a repertoire of zingers for family outings.  I'm already at that point that I'm tempted to start hanging signs across my belly:

Yes, I'm pregnant (astute observation there).
I'm due November 8th.
It's a girl.
Yes, it's our first. 
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« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2007, 10:03:35 AM »

Ooh, yeah, I'll have to get a repertoire of zingers for family outings.  I'm already at that point that I'm tempted to start hanging signs across my belly:

Yes, I'm pregnant (astute observation there).
I'm due November 8th.
It's a girl.
Yes, it's our first. 

Don't forget to add "DON'T TOUCH" to the sign.  Some people I don't mind, but others are just creepy.  Your belly is community property like some kind of good luck talisman.  Around here at least, I never mind when it's someone who's Hispanic because if they touch you it's just to dispel "mal ojo" - the evil eye. 

Oh yeah, have you started getting the unsolicited baby rearing advice?  Practice your gracious grin-and-bear-it smile, then do whatever you think is right.  You're the mom.
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« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2007, 12:36:41 PM »

Don't forget to add "DON'T TOUCH" to the sign.  Some people I don't mind, but others are just creepy.  Your belly is community property like some kind of good luck talisman.  Around here at least, I never mind when it's someone who's Hispanic because if they touch you it's just to dispel "mal ojo" - the evil eye. 

Oh yeah, have you started getting the unsolicited baby rearing advice?  Practice your gracious grin-and-bear-it smile, then do whatever you think is right.  You're the mom.

Yeah, seriously!  I love how people go in for the tummy rub and then ask if it's ok.  Ummm... I guess so, now that you're rubbing my belly already.  I don't mind if they're friends or family, but it's a little weird when it's someone I barely know.  Or if it lasts a really long time.  I haven't started getting unsolicited advice, but I'm sure I will the moment she starts screaming in the middle of Target.  That's when all the do-gooders come out.   Cheesy
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« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2007, 01:56:39 AM »

Yeah, seriously!  I love how people go in for the tummy rub and then ask if it's ok.  Ummm... I guess so, now that you're rubbing my belly already.  I don't mind if they're friends or family, but it's a little weird when it's someone I barely know.  Or if it lasts a really long time.  I haven't started getting unsolicited advice, but I'm sure I will the moment she starts screaming in the middle of Target.  That's when all the do-gooders come out.   Cheesy

The unsolicited advice only gets worse as they get older unfortunately.  My youngest is notorious around our parish for his wild child ways.  I'll never forget the time one of our oldest parishioners, an 85 yo Russian lady, beautiful and so sweet, came up to me one particularly difficult day and said in a heavy Russian accent, "You need watch Super Nanny.  Super Nanny help you."  Priceless.   Actually I make my kids watch Super Nanny with me so they see kids that are acting up even worse than they are. 
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GabrieltheCelt
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« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2007, 02:11:35 AM »

Yeah, seriously!  I love how people go in for the tummy rub and then ask if it's ok.  Ummm... I guess so, now that you're rubbing my belly already. 
You mean, this sort of thing is frowned upon?  I thought that *whack* across the head was because I rubbed too hard. Wink
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« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2007, 08:07:23 AM »

The unsolicited advice only gets worse as they get older unfortunately.  My youngest is notorious around our parish for his wild child ways.  I'll never forget the time one of our oldest parishioners, an 85 yo Russian lady, beautiful and so sweet, came up to me one particularly difficult day and said in a heavy Russian accent, "You need watch Super Nanny.  Super Nanny help you."  Priceless.   Actually I make my kids watch Super Nanny with me so they see kids that are acting up even worse than they are. 

Ah, the ever helpful Russians.  I'm sure I'll get plenty of that too!  I think my kids will be well acquainted with the threatening stare; that's something I really hope I've inherited from my mom.  Smiley
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« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2007, 08:10:12 AM »

You mean, this sort of thing is frowned upon?  I thought that *whack* across the head was because I rubbed too hard. Wink

LOL!  Like I said, friends are ok.  Actually, the first tummy rub I got was from some old lady in the bathroom at St. John's.  The elderly have no boundaries.
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