Author Topic: Catechist Test  (Read 2272 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline FrChris

  • The Rodney Dangerfield of OC.net
  • Site Supporter
  • Taxiarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,253
Catechist Test
« on: October 08, 2007, 03:54:29 PM »
First off, please pray for Lee, who will be sitting and taking his Comprehensive Catechism Final Exam in about an hour today. Because this is something humorous, I didn't exactly want to post this in the Prayer Forum, since much of what is in there is very serious.

Anyway, Lee has always been a very serious person who still has the ability to take a joke. He attended a Protestant seminary, flirted with Catholicism for a few years, and eventually found the Orthodox Church. He is one of the people I can depend upon to be in the Church when I start Orthros every Sunday.

Lee, though, is almost too intense for some things and was starting to stress out about his future exam, which if he does not score at least a 75% he will need to wait a while before entering the Church. Lee insisted, and I whole heartedly agreed, that the catechism sessions Lee would have with me would be attended by his Godparents as well, so that he could form a group to study with (an excellent practice if this can be arranged!). I could tell he was thinking this would be a really hard exam.

Anyway, to help him relax, I passed out to him the following 'practice test', which I adapted from a class I once had in my secular career and is available on the Internet. I never lied....I just said "If you can answer this exam you'll have no problem with Final", which is absolute truth... ;)

Quote
Catechism/Inquirer’s Class Final Exam
________________________________________
Instructions: This is your comprehensive final exam. Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY:
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

MEDICINE & ETHICS:
You will be provided with a razor blade, some gauze, a needle and thread, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING:
2500 riot-crazed, torch-bearing aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY:
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect, if any, on the English parliamentary system and the Snail Darter. Prove your thesis.

CHURCH MUSIC:
Write a Cherubic Hymn blending the styles of early J. S. Bach and late Igor Stravinsky that could win a competition judged by Josef Stalin and John Cage. Orchestrate it as Ravel might have. Perform the solo part. You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY:
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Didymus the Blind, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY& THE PARISH:
Estimate the sociological problems which might be accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your answer using double-blind methodology.

STEWARDSHIP:
1) Describe and contrast the effects of interlocking directorates (be specific) and child-labor laws on the causes of the Great Depression of the 1930s.
2) Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, and the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all possible points of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

EPISTEMOLOGY:
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

PERSUASIVE RELIGION:
Using only rational discourse and three diagrams, convert the Muslim Palestinian (provided you under your chair) to Judaism, and then to Orthodox Christianity.

RELIGIOUS ART:
Given crayons and a ream of paper, recreate the ceiling of Hagia Sophia with particular regard for color accuracy.

METAPHYSICS:
Describe in detail the probable nature of life before conception and after death. Test your hypothesis.

PHILOSOPHY:
1) Trace the development of the major and minor western and eastern moral theories and discuss the impact on free will each has had. Discuss it a second time from a contrary viewpoint. Discuss it a third time from a contradictory viewpoint. Using Aristotelian logic, prove each viewpoint to be unassailable.

2) Sketch the development of human thought and estimate its significance. Compare with the development of all other kinds of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:
Write a critique on the sum total of general knowledge point by point. Be objective and specific.

EXTRA CREDIT:
Define a universe, then give 2 examples.

He chuckled heartily at this, which I think helped him.

I'll let y'all know how he did on the real exam...he's gonna be fine, and his chrismation date is tentatively scheduled for 10/21.

« Last Edit: October 08, 2007, 03:58:53 PM by FrChris »
"As the sparrow flees from a hawk, so the man seeking humility flees from an argument". St John Climacus

Offline Αριστοκλής

  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 10,031
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2007, 03:57:41 PM »
Cute, and congratulations to you both.
"Religion is a neurobiological illness and Orthodoxy is its cure." - Fr. John S. Romanides

Offline Ian Lazarus

  • The Main Man!
  • OC.net guru
  • *******
  • Posts: 1,545
  • yIjah, Qey' 'oH!
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2007, 04:01:43 PM »
Quote
CHURCH MUSIC:
Write a Cherubic Hymn blending the styles of early J. S. Bach and late Igor Stravinsky that could win a competition judged by Josef Stalin and John Cage. Orchestrate it as Ravel might haPerform the solo part. You will find a piano under your seat. ve.


OH, THE PAIN!  THE PAIN!!!!! :P :P ;D
"For I am With thee, withersoever thou goest"

Joshua 1:9

Offline Fr. George

  • formerly "Cleveland"
  • Administrator
  • Stratopedarches
  • *******
  • Posts: 21,263
  • May the Lord bless you and keep you always!
  • Faith: Orthodox Christian
  • Jurisdiction: Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Pittsburgh
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2007, 04:09:10 PM »
Nice.  Congrats to him, to you, and God bless you both.
How in Mor's good name
one hundred fifty four posts
No Rachel Weisz pic

Selam

Offline Elisha

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 4,908
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2007, 04:18:41 PM »
Ahhh, I see Fr. Chris...you just took an existing exam and made a few modifications.  ;)

Offline lubeltri

  • Latin Catholic layman
  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,794
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2007, 04:23:18 PM »
Quote
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

I know from painful experience that these type of exam questions are all too common. How do you begin to write about something this broad in 40 minutes?! I usually end up getting through one or two aspects in five written pages before I have to put my pen down.

Offline Heorhij

  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 8,574
    • Mississippi University for Women
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2007, 04:36:41 PM »
Congratulations, Fr. Chris, and Lee!

And thanks for the tips. I am writing a microbiology exam, will use yours as a model.  :P
Love never fails.

Offline scamandrius

  • A man of many, many turns
  • Merarches
  • ***********
  • Posts: 9,355
  • Faith: Greek Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: DOWAMA of AANA
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2007, 04:39:39 PM »
Fr. Chris,

Bless, father!

I know the test you posted was a joke, but do you seriously give every catechumen a written test before they are allowed to be chrismated?  Wow.  I wish my priest would have done that!  It's not that I didn't take catechism class seriously, but probably would have been more zealous about it.  

Kudos to you for insisting on rigid and correct catechesis.

Kissing your right hand.
Da quod iubes et iube quod vis.

Offline FrChris

  • The Rodney Dangerfield of OC.net
  • Site Supporter
  • Taxiarches
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,253
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2007, 07:45:37 PM »
Ahhh, I see Fr. Chris...you just took an existing exam and made a few modifications.  ;)

Absolutely! Why re-invent the wheel...and I admitted to doing so in the OP anyway, to not mislead people!

Quote
... do you seriously give every catechumen a written test before they are allowed to be chrismated? 

Every single one. This is a policy instituted by my proistamenos, and I truly see the value of it, as it does help to keep people's mind on task.

And, you know what? It really works. People want to learn about the Faith: yesterday's catechism class had 26 people in it. (Lee was a special situation, and so was not part of it).

But, the most important thing: Lee scored 107% in his final, even getting some extra credit points for his essay on the final question: "In no less than 100 words and no more than 200 words, explain why you wish to become an Orthodox Christian".

I am looking forward to reading parts of his answer in the Liturgy prior to his Chrismation on the 21st.

« Last Edit: October 08, 2007, 11:29:32 PM by FrChris »
"As the sparrow flees from a hawk, so the man seeking humility flees from an argument". St John Climacus

Offline GabrieltheCelt

  • Taxiarches
  • **********
  • Posts: 7,219
  • Son of a Preacher Man
  • Faith: Eastern Orthodox OCA
Re: Catechist Test
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2007, 08:43:14 PM »
Father, bless.

I see the catechist test/exam as a great idea and I'd like to bring this up with my Priest. I'll pm you with some questions...


 In Christ,

 Gabriel
"The Scots-Irish; Brewed in Scotland, bottled in Ireland, uncorked in America."  ~Scots-Irish saying