For instance, as most of you know my Grandfather has only a short time to live. One person said, "He has had such a long life." Eighty years is a long life but I assure you from the family's point of view it is not long enough.
Oh, dear, I hope it wasn't me. I thought I was doing well at not saying "dumb" things, but I guess I still need to work on it.
One thing I always try to keep in mind in such situations is that people are just trying to find something to say. I've read so many posts, letters to Ann Landers, etc. about "dumb remarks" about death, misfortune, adoption, etc. that I think everybody says something "dumb" at some point. Just as with driving errors, I try not to be too judgmental about other drivers because everybody does something "dumb" at some point. Yet everybody thinks he's a good driver. I think the charitable thing is to take the "dumb" comment for what it's intended to be: People see grief, don't know what to say, think they're supposed to say something, and blurt out what comes first to mind, hoping it will help a person feel a bit better. There are also comments people make about adoption, for example, which will annoy one person but not bother another. When we do an "oops," we hope that others will let it go. What we need is some sort of instruction manual listing all the things to say and all the things not to say, because otherwise this will just keep going on till Doomsday.