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Author Topic: The forgiving woman (beaten by her husband)  (Read 17711 times) Average Rating: 0
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PeterTheAleut
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« Reply #45 on: September 27, 2007, 12:10:47 AM »

You obviously have never watched an episode of COPS or have ever visited a battered woman's shelter.  There are thousands of American women who put up with spousal abuse on a daily basis.
I guess it's for much the same reason why many people would much rather keep a dead relationship going than break the relationship off in the hope of starting a much better one with someone else, or even just enjoying life alone.  Call it unhealthy attachment borne out of one's fear of the unknown.  "Sure, he treats me like ****, but if I leave him, I may never find another man who will love me."  Irrational?  Absolutely!  But this fear is very real to the person suffering it, and many--it's not just women--are paralyzed by this.
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« Reply #46 on: September 27, 2007, 09:36:09 AM »

I guess it's for much the same reason why many people would much rather keep a dead relationship going than break the relationship off in the hope of starting a much better one with someone else, or even just enjoying life alone.  Call it unhealthy attachment borne out of one's fear of the unknown.  "Sure, he treats me like ****, but if I leave him, I may never find another man who will love me."  Irrational?  Absolutely!  But this fear is very real to the person suffering it, and many--it's not just women--are paralyzed by this.

That's my point exactly.  One doesn't have to be from another country or culture to feel the irrational fear that keeps people in horrible relationship situations.  There are thousands of native-bornAmericans, both men and women, who are in abusive relationships out of fear, especially in "middle America".  Demetrios G. mentioned he lives in NYC, where people actually do have far greater access to services for the battered. 

Most of America doesn't.

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« Reply #47 on: September 27, 2007, 11:41:16 AM »

There's fear, and also the strange fact that the abused still have feelings for their abusers.  I put up with emotional abuse for months from one guy, even wanted him back when he left, because I still felt I loved him.  I did protest when he treated me badly, but I never left him.
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« Reply #48 on: September 27, 2007, 12:26:41 PM »

I am still pondering this 'case' - so far as we know it. It strikes me that the husband was guilty of adultery - the only allowable, technically, reason an ecclesiastical court would recognize for divorce. The wife obviously refused that recourse (if indeed the bishop would have allowed that). Does this have an hypothetical bearing here?

I'm probably showing my ignorance here, but I thought apostasy was also grounds for divorce?  And in all Christian compassion, wouldn't fear of death at the hands of your spouse be acceptable by a church court as well?
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« Reply #49 on: September 27, 2007, 12:29:42 PM »

I'm probably showing my ignorance here, but I thought apostasy was also grounds for divorce?  And in all Christian compassion, wouldn't fear of death at the hands of your spouse be acceptable by a church court as well?

He's talking about the explicitly stated reasons given by Christ for leaving one's spouse.  The Church has a wider allowance in many cases than this: abuse, apostasy, etc. are normally included.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2007, 12:30:04 PM by cleveland » Logged

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