Book recommendations

[scamandrius]

Hi, everyone.

In the not-too-distant future, I plan on asking my girlfriend to marry me.  As such I am quite nervous.  I have still not met her family and there are some differences that we nee to work out between us before going that far.  To that end, can anyone recommend some good ORthodox reading to prepare not only for the married life, but also for having kids.  I'm terrified of ever becoming father though I do want kids and I want to do as much preparation beforehand as possible.  So, whatever you got, I'm all ears (or eyes as the case may be  ).  Thanks.

[GabrieltheCelt]

So, it's conceivable that there'll soon be more of you running around?  I have Meyendorff's Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective which I found lacking in practical information but really great in the study (read dry, academic) of the history of the rubrics. There are a few (seemingly) great books out there from the Orthodox perspective that you can find at Light-n-Life.com. The book I bought at our bookstore is by Dr. Peter M. Kalellis called Preparing for Marriage: Marriage in the Orthodox Church. It's a actually a workbook that's supposed to accompany the couple through counseling with the priest. Some of it is geared to a younger audience, but most of it is quite helpful; esp. the chapters on Money Management, Conflict Resolution, and In-Laws. In addition to talking to your priest, there's a lot of great information online. I found a lot of helpful info on the Greek Orthodox Church's site (goarch.org). Hope this helps. And congrats to you (I'm sure she'll say yes!).

 In Christ,
 Gabriel

[EofK]

YAY, congratulations! 

Mr. Y and I have read the two books Jibrail mentioned and they are quite good.  We also have Aflame: Ancient Wisdom on Marriage, which turns out to be quotes from Orthodox fathers about marriage.  Interesting stuff, but equivalent to the little inspirational compilations you see at Hallmark.  The other one we own is  Preserve Them, O Lord: A Guide for Orthodox Couples in Developing Marital Unity by Fr. John Mack.  This one is also a workbook for engaged or newly married couples, much like Dr. Kalellis' book.  I found that one to be a little cheesy and dated in parts, but it does have good advice on things like dealing with conflict and planning for children.  It also has several recommended readings that I've not read: Plain Talk on Marriage by Fr. Gordon Walker, Crown Them with Glory and Honor by Fr. David Anderson, and some others. 

One I just saw on Amazon is On Marriage and Family Life by St. John Chrysostom.  The link takes you to the Amazon page; there are several reviews of the book there. (Sounds like a pretty good one... I'm putting it on my wish list.)

Good luck and best wishes!    Let us know if you need help planning or need Orthodox wedding supplies... I think I've combed the galaxy finding all the neccesary bits for our wedding and we did the whole thing for around $6000 total.  (Though $1500 of that went toward the reception hall... ouch.)
 

[Maksim]

I highly recommend the above-mentioned On Marriage and Family Life.  I'm a firm believer that every subject needs at least a little commentary by St. John Chrysostom   

[Tabitha]

All the above mentioned books are great... More useful than a lot of the wedding books and magazines out there, most of those cease to remember the fact that there is more than the wedding involved.  Having those books to read amidst the decisions of invitations and such is very helpful for one to retain one's sanity (especially for the woman, no offense men  )  A book our priest recommended to my husband and I was Making God Real in the Orthodox Christian Home by Anthony M. Coniaris.  It is really straightforward with short chapters dealing with things such as some of the feast days and keeping children focused on messages from Liturgy and making them an idea they can grasp.  It even approaches some of the more difficult things that can come up like explaining death to children.  While we haven't yet used the book in a practical sense (We've been married for almost three months at this point, so no children yet!)  It does make the idea of children a little less intimidating.  I am pretty sure the book is still in print... it came out in the 1970's and has a cover pretty reflective of that fact.  As they say, "don't judge a book by it's cover"  Hopefully it will be a good spring board for you two, and good luck and congratulations!

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