For some time I have contemplated the possibility of being received into the Catholic Church (by the Traditional Rite of the Society of St. Pius X) this year.
I am deeply distressed because I inmensely love the beauty of the Byzantine Liturgy and my own spirituality is very Eastern and Byzantine.
However, I believe that the Catholic Church has logical and consistent answers about issues of faith such as the Final Judgement, what happens to the soul after death and so on. I have realized that the Church Fathers and Orthodox Saints of the first millenia believed in the Primacy of the Bishop of Rome, and that in spite of the awful abuses and evils that bad Popes and the Franks did, there was no reason to reject it in an absolute way.
I still wish to see Rome removing the filioque from the Creed because it was ilegal and wrong to insert that word without full approval of the Church and I hope Pope Benedict might take this step if he's truly interested to reconcile all with the Church he presides. I still believe that the Catholic Church should conform more to the Orthodox interpretations because they come from the first millenium, and we must go back to that time in order to restore unity.
However, I do believe that the Latin interpretations are also legitimate, and that things such as Papal infalibility and other dogmas that Rome proclaimed were necesary to protect the Western Church from its enemies.
I am attracted to Traditional Catholicism because it still preaches moral values and defends the sactity of human life and marriage while some sectors of the Church permit contraception, divorces and second marriages. Unfortunately sexual liberalism and lack of respect toward virginity for example, prevails in West and East Europe alike, as I have seen, even among the Orthodox.
I see that the Orthodox Church will face serious difficulties in the next years because those who attacked the Roman Church from inside and introduced those evil changes and modernist trends, will start to attack Orthodoxy. Things look very much here as they looked in Rome in the 1950's and I would not be surprised if the Orthodox Churches have their own "Vatican II" very soon.
Another thing that makes me think about changing is that I see the Catholic Church as more consistent with the history of my country than that of the Orthodox Church. The Martyrs of Taos NM attended the Old Rite Liturgy before they went to war and died for our nation.
Unfortunately, Orthodoxy has failed to attract enough Latin Americans in spite of the beautiful liturgy. I have found people who are very Protestant minded and attack the Roman Church like the Protestants do while we should be fighting on the same side. I am dissapointed that so many Christians both Catholic and Orthodox do not see these heretics as enemies of Christ and enemies of the people. I'd rather be a Muslim than a Protestant, and the Traditional Catholic Church is deeply anti-Protestant, that's one of the reasons I feel attached to the movement.
I still struggle with this, and many things encourage me to stay where I am because I know that being Catholic will be extremely difficult due to all the corruption in the modern hierarchy, the abuses that happen at their churches and all this rampant liberalism.
Being an Eastern Catholic will be more difficult also, because most Eastern Catholic parishes have latinized characteristics and even modernist ones. In my country there are very few churches offering the Greek Rite, many are latinized and vernacularized, but in Puebla, they have told me that a former GOA American priest is offering the Greek Liturgy in Greek in communion with the local RC bishop.
Maybe I should stay where I am.
I am confused.