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Author Topic: Clean Jokes  (Read 182 times) Average Rating: 0
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Maria
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« on: August 31, 2014, 03:10:01 AM »

I could not think of a poll for this thread, so you have been spared.
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Maria
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« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2014, 03:10:27 AM »

Sent by email from a friend:


Quote
Lost Your Car Keys Lately?
                                                               Please Read !!!!!
After a meeting several days ago, I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal "TSA Pat Down."
 
They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically,
I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.
 
He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right.
 
The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
 
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband:
"I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."
 
There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice.
"Are you kidding me?" he barked,
"I dropped you off!"
 
Now it was my turn to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
 
He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your damn car!"
 
Welcome to the golden years.........
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Glory to Him forever!
quietmorning
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« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2014, 08:32:30 AM »

^^   laugh laugh laugh

A neighbor actually did this to my ex husband, only to add to it, they thought he kidnapped me, as well.  They had him spread eagle across the trunk of the car (borrowed from our neighbor for a date).  

The officer called for back up, we suddenly had three more cars with more officers joining the party.  When everyone was there they started reading my ex-husband his rights for grand theft and KIDNAPPING I burst out laughing so hard I had tears.  

Then the cop said, "wait, something isn't right, here, she's LAUGHING."  

Two hours after the initial stop we were finally able to leave, but we missed the movie and the icecream shop had closed, so we just returned the car....to the owner who forgot he loaned it to us.  :-/
« Last Edit: August 31, 2014, 08:33:50 AM by quietmorning » Logged

In His Mercy,
BethAnna
Maria
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« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2014, 12:13:02 AM »

From an email received from an old friend, Rudy:




A wife was curious when she found two old negatives in a drawer and had them made into prints.
She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time,
taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos,
his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!", he said with appreciation..

[scroll down]




















.........."That's my old Ford!"
« Last Edit: September 28, 2014, 12:14:10 AM by Maria » Logged

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Glory to Him forever!
Maria
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« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2014, 12:52:52 AM »

Another joke sent by Rudy




Lost Your Car Keys Lately?


                                                               Please Read !!!!!
After a meeting several days ago, I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal "TSA Pat Down."
 
They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically,
I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.
 
He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right.
 
The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
 
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband:
"I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."
 
There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice.
"Are you kidding me?" he barked,
"I dropped you off!"
 
Now it was my turn to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
 
He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your darn car!"




 
Welcome to the golden years.........
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Glory to Jesus Christ!
Glory to Him forever!
Maria
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O most Holy Theotokos, save us.


« Reply #5 on: Today at 12:17:31 AM »

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Justin Kissel
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« Reply #6 on: Today at 12:28:06 AM »

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