OrthodoxChristianity.net
August 21, 2014, 10:07:43 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Reminder: No political discussions in the public fora.  If you do not have access to the private Politics Forum, please send a PM to Fr. George.
 
   Home   Help Calendar Contact Treasury Tags Login Register  
Pages: 1   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: house blessings and the mixed family?  (Read 1973 times) Average Rating: 0
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
kamikat
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 8


« on: January 12, 2007, 03:01:20 PM »

This is for those of you who converted without your spouse.  What do you do about house blessings?  Does your spouse permit the blessings?  What would you do if your spouse doesn't want the blessing?  Thanks!
Logged
SmoT
I am a verb
Banned
Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 118


« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2007, 03:07:48 PM »

What would you do if your spouse doesn't want the blessing?  Thanks!

"This is my house too. If you don't want to be here when the blessing occurs, that is your decision. End of discussion"

Logged

"I'm not saying you have to SmoT her or anything..." - Asteriktos
Thomas
Moderator
Archon
*****
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: Antiochian
Posts: 2,785



« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2007, 03:09:07 PM »

Several of my children are in part member marriages.  One spouse does not have any problems with the house blessing and will even arrange to be there for it--he has not become a member of the church but will say to others that the Orthodox Church is their family's church.  Another child's spouse  just doesn't want to hear about it---the priest comes to the home when the spous is not present.  

While such is not the case in our family,I have heard of situations where the priest is not allowed in home that the parish priest will give the Orthodox  member a small bottle of holy water to sprinkle in the home to bless it whenever possible for it to be done safely by the member without problems with the spouse.

Thomas
Logged

Your brother in Christ ,
Thomas
augustin717
Taxiarches
**********
Online Online

Faith: The other ROC
Posts: 5,631



« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2007, 03:16:25 PM »

Quote
While such is not the case in our family,I have heard of situations where the priest is not allowed in home that the parish priest will give the Orthodox  member a small bottle of holy water to sprinkle in the home to bless it whenever possible
One recieves a bottle of holy water, anyhow. At least that's what we do.
Logged
Amdetsion
Worship God with all thy strength and all thy might
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christianity
Jurisdiction: Ethiopian Patriarchate; Addis Abebe Ethiopia
Posts: 931


HH Abuna Pawlos - Patriarch of Ethiopia


« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2007, 04:39:51 PM »

The priest will come to a home in care of  the Orthodox person for to bless the whole family albeit 'through' this orthodox person. This persons Orthodoxy and faith is very important. This is if the Orthodox person was married outside the Church prior to being baptised in the Church but the existing spouse remains NON -baptised within the Holy Church.

This changes if the Orthodox person got married to a non-believer while he/she were already baptised in the Orthodox church. For our communion this behavior is sacralege since the beleiver has bound him/herself into a relationship that is not blessed by the Church on purpose in effect defying God and HIs sacred order of the church sacrements. Once we are in the church ALL the sacraments are performed by the church. Thus both parties must be orthodox to recieve the marriage sacrement. The Ethiopian Church is very critical on maintaining this. The Lord teaches us to "NOT be un-equally yoked". In this case the blessing of the home is done after the non-believer is baptised and the believer completes penance and both parties recieve the marriage sacrement. This changes also if a child comes into the picture which is baptised in the church. For this orthodox childs sake the priest will bless the house and all others in the house albeit through the child.



Logged

"ETHIOPIA shall soon stretch out her hands unto God".....Psalm 68:vs 31

"Are ye not as children of the ETHIOPIANS unto me, O children of Israel"?....Amos 9: vs 7
Tamara
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Antiochian Orthodox Diocese of America
Posts: 2,208


+Pray for Orthodox Unity+


« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2007, 08:39:36 PM »

Kamikat,

I am not a convert but I married an Episcopalian who converted after we had been married ten years. He never minded having our house blessed and he would participate in the prayers. If your spouse is not against the blessing I would encourage you to have him or her participate in the prayers. Allowing the non-Orthodox family member to become a part of the church life, such as in  the house blessing, is a small way of starting the conversion process in his or her heart.

Today we had our house blessed. Every little prayer said together helps bring us in union with one another. Smiley

sincerely, Tamara
Logged
kamikat
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 8


« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2007, 11:24:46 AM »

Kamikat,
 Every little prayer said together helps bring us in union with one another. Smiley

sincerely, Tamara

My husband is an atheist, he doesn't believe in prayer. 
Logged
cholmes
Member
***
Offline Offline

Faith: Eastern Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 146



« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2007, 03:25:20 PM »

My husband is an atheist, he doesn't believe in prayer. 

If he is atheist, then he likely believes prayers are of no use.  In that case, you can explain that there would then be no harm in having the house blessed.
Logged

Justin Kissel
Formerly Asteriktos
Protospatharios
****************
Offline Offline

Posts: 29,479



« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2007, 03:38:19 PM »

Quote
If he is atheist, then he likely believes prayers are of no use.  In that case, you can explain that there would then be no harm in having the house blessed.

I am not saying that I agree with this, but it is possible that he thinks there is harm exactly because prayer is of no use.  Let me change things around a little bit to illustrate. Suppose your daughter becomes fascinated with Wicca, and wants to have monthly meetings in your living room where they pray to goddesses and such. You may very well think that such prayers "are of no use," but it does not necessarily follow from this that such activity is considered completely harmless. Most Christians wouldn't want Wiccan rituals being performed in their house, even if they do think it's mumbo jumbo. I personally have no issues with a Christian spouse doing as they please (I'm in such a situation), but there are atheists out there who would no more want Christian activity going on in their home than Muslim or Zoroastrian or Hindu activity.
« Last Edit: January 14, 2007, 03:39:27 PM by Asteriktos » Logged

I would strongly recommend Orthodoxy and the Religion of the Future by Fr Seraphim Rose.
Tamara
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Antiochian Orthodox Diocese of America
Posts: 2,208


+Pray for Orthodox Unity+


« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2007, 07:46:37 PM »

My husband is an atheist, he doesn't believe in prayer. 

Is he not excited about the idea of having your house blessed or is he indifferent?
Logged
TinaG
I am not a pessimist - I'm just grimly realistic!
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox
Jurisdiction: OCA
Posts: 870


If only my family were this normal !


WWW
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2007, 12:52:00 PM »

Just a few cents from my own not so great experiences with house blessings and a non-orthodox spouse.  15 years ago when my priest came to bless our home for the first time (it was the first house blessing after my christmation), I didn't really know the drill and what to expect.  Well, the priest stuck a candle in my husband's hand and asked him to lead the procession as we sang the troparion.  My husband had told me he didn't want to participate and I had not really known how to step into the subject since Father just got right down to business.  My husband finished the blessing without any blow up but I sure heard about it afterwards.  He felt like he'd been ambushed and I hadn't respected his feelings.  He has never participated in a house blessing since then and has made himself very scarce every year.  So, my advice to anyone is to make sure you explain to your priest beforehand what the other spouse's feelings are about the houseblessing, the extent of their participation, and any questions or objections your spouse might have.  That way no one gets put in an awkward situation and peace is maintained for what should be a very peaceful and meaningful event.  If your spouse doesn't want to participate at least see if they will stick around and have coffee and cake afterwards.  This is a good time for your priest to gently broach the subject of any questions the spouse might have, or just to give your spouse the time to meet your priest and find out he's not some weird guy in robes but a real person who more than likely has dealt with these kinds of objections to house blessings or Orthodoxy in general. 

Hope this helps.

Tina G.
(From San Antonio, Texas, where we are praying for "unseasonable" weather tomorrow so we get a day off work - it's not too much to ask for one ice day a year and you certainly don't want to waste it on a weekend or holiday!)
Logged

On the spiritual path somewhere between the Simpsons and St. Theophan the Recluse, but I still can't see the Springfield city limits sign yet.
kamikat
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 8


« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2007, 05:39:43 PM »

I haven't asked specifically about a house blessing.  I'm just assuming that I can not have my house blessed until after my chrismation, right?  Then, it won't come up until next year.  So far, he's been ok with me bringing in icons, but they are kept to a small corner of my sewing room.  He does not want me to use incense, but that is more about not liking the scent than any philosophical objects to it.  He's ok with having the kids baptized, but when asked, he always adds that I must let them leave the church if they choose to when they get older.  That's been hard because he doesn't like me to push them or force them to go to church. 
Logged
Amdetsion
Worship God with all thy strength and all thy might
High Elder
******
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christianity
Jurisdiction: Ethiopian Patriarchate; Addis Abebe Ethiopia
Posts: 931


HH Abuna Pawlos - Patriarch of Ethiopia


« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2007, 07:34:39 PM »

kamikat

I pray that you finish your catachism and receive the baptism in health and peace.

It may get difficult if you grow into sound orthodoxy before yuor husband wakes up (if ever).

Being orthodox for some people is going to orthodox churches on Sunday and having a general feeling of oneness with something truely ancient and biblical at the core compared to all other "christian" religions that are founded through political strife, social upheaval,war or the whim of a murderous, adulterous king or an angry monk preist or bishop bent on power, control and self rightiousness. So much division; even the term 'denomination' is born from this secular kaos.

The Orthodox has no such past at its foundation. Thus for many it feels relevant. And for them that is enough.

But for others there is much more to orthodoxy. IT IS LIFE ITSELF.

Orthodoxy can govern every aspect of your life if you are willing. You must choose this for yourself.

You can truely live the orthodox faith or simply exist in it while living some other kind of life unknown to orthoodxy. This is happening today with many, many of our brothers and sisters.

This is spiritual stagnation; self imposed or otherwise.

Arrested developement.

I am not saying it is a sin to be stagnant. It is simply non progressive. And if it is a sin God will judge that. The scripture teaches that laziness is a sin. The scripture also teaches us to 'seek' undertstanding.

Something to think about.

I say this to assist in preparing you since you can learn many things about the life in the Church (if you choose) but right around you will be people who will express thier love of orthodoxy but at the same time challenge the 'holiness' of it even question its truth.

Thus being orthodox in "religious affiliation" and lacking its absolute faith. You may have experienced people like this already.

Reading various posts on this site will give you a shocking example if you are truely being taught orthodoxy.

In all cases we pray for each other and see each other as equals.

The scripture says that the strong in faith must help support the weak.

You will learn the differnence with Gods will and make a choice for yourself.

As a catachumen you need all the help and encourgement you can get. You have a obvious challenge at home. But the greatist challenge is and will be increasingly from inside you.

Making spiritual choices is a painful and sometimes lonely experience. Sometimes it will just feel better to go with the flow and keep the "peace" even if you know that would be the 'wrong' choice 'spiritually'.

I pray that conditions remain fertile so that your increasing faith and orthodoxy will be a heathy 'progressive' process in you and throughout your life and this growth will bring you closer to your God and be a blessing on all who are around you.

The Priest has the power to bless your home without that act being a dispensation or "bending" of the rule as it were. You are already within the confines of the Church order. You are a catachumen (beleiver); and thus should have as much blessing upon you as possible. This the priest can do if he finds all things in order.


May the grace of Christ continue with you and your family.


Fr Deacon Amde Tsion
Logged

"ETHIOPIA shall soon stretch out her hands unto God".....Psalm 68:vs 31

"Are ye not as children of the ETHIOPIANS unto me, O children of Israel"?....Amos 9: vs 7
Tamara
Archon
********
Offline Offline

Faith: Orthodox Christian
Jurisdiction: Antiochian Orthodox Diocese of America
Posts: 2,208


+Pray for Orthodox Unity+


« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2007, 12:09:08 AM »

I haven't asked specifically about a house blessing.  I'm just assuming that I can not have my house blessed until after my chrismation, right?  Then, it won't come up until next year.  So far, he's been ok with me bringing in icons, but they are kept to a small corner of my sewing room.  He does not want me to use incense, but that is more about not liking the scent than any philosophical objects to it.  He's ok with having the kids baptized, but when asked, he always adds that I must let them leave the church if they choose to when they get older.  That's been hard because he doesn't like me to push them or force them to go to church. 

I don't think you must be chrismated to have your home blessed but you can check with your priest.
Tina G. offers some very good advice. Discuss the house blessing with your husband ahead of time.
If he is against the idea of having the house blessed perhaps he would agree to let you have it blessed when he is not home.
If he doesn't mind having the children baptized then you could present the idea of a house blessing as baptizing the home.  Smiley
Logged
Tags: house blessing 
Pages: 1   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.07 seconds with 41 queries.