Author Topic: Church Adverizing We'd Like to See  (Read 1010 times)

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Offline aserb

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Church Adverizing We'd Like to See
« on: January 11, 2007, 04:18:17 PM »
I was reading the local paper today and it always has ads for various churches. The ads use terms like : Anglo-Catholic tradition, diverse and life affirming, contemporary to describe their various venues. But I would love to see some truth in advertising so I though of re-writing a few of the ads as follows:

For an Evangelical Church

Bored at Church?
Is Your Pastor/Priest a jerk?
Fellow parishoners stuffed shirts?
Then come to our multi-media worshipalloza extravaganza. Come as you are no need to dress up. Hear the Gospel message delivered by our Hawaiian shirt wearing, fresh from the Comedy Club Pastor. No heavy topics discussed like sin or fasting or the like.

For an all Convert Orthodox Church

Tired of not hearing spoken English?
Forced to eat foods at coffee hour that you cannot pronounce?
Half the parish not even American citizens?
Then come to our all English speaking liturgy where every one will greet you IN ENGLISH.
All American Coffee and donuts after the service
No difficult chanting or montone droning in the choir.

Any thoughts?

Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!

Offline Aristibule

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Re: Church Adverizing We'd Like to See
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2007, 04:29:23 PM »
Quote
Any thoughts?

Yes, that sometimes stereotypes aren't true.
"We must begin at once to "build again the tabernacle which is fallen down, and to build again the ruins thereof, and to set it up;" for HE WHO GAVE THE THOUGHT IN OUR HEART HE LAID ALSO THE RESPONSIBILITY ON US THAT THIS THOUGHT SHOULD NOT REMAIN BARREN." - J.J. Overbeck, 1866

Offline Anastasios

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Re: Church Adverizing We'd Like to See
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2007, 05:14:05 PM »
Wanting to hear a greeting in English???? Oh my God, what kind of a freak would demand to be greeted in ENGLISH?! lol  In all seriousness, it bugs me when I visit my all Greek parish and sometimes when the English service is given, I hear an old person make a noise and say, "not again."

On the other hand, I can certainly appreciate your concern when people refuse to attend an Orthodox parish just because most people there are ethnic.

Anastasios
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Past posts reflect stages of my life before my baptism and may not be accurate expositions of Orthodox teaching. Also, I served as an Orthodox priest from 2008-2013, before resigning.

Offline Keble

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Re: Church Advertizing We'd Like to See
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2007, 05:59:15 PM »
The one that burns me up: Mission Statements

My theory on mission statements is, "If it ain't from the last chapter of Matthew, don't bother."

Offline aserb

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Re: Church Adverizing We'd Like to See
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2007, 09:46:02 AM »
Keble

AMEN  ;)
Save us o' Son of God, who art risen from the dead, as we sing to thee Alleluia!

Offline ComingHome

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Re: Church Adverizing We'd Like to See
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2007, 01:02:59 AM »
Keble:

Amen, amen and amen.  This is wisdom, let us attend.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2007, 01:04:06 AM by ComingHome »