Poll

Do you disagree with your parish Priest? If so, how?

I'm not sure/ It's never come up.
2 (6.3%)
I might try to discuss a disagreement in private.
14 (43.8%)
I would tell a priest outright, though in private, if I thought he was wrong.
9 (28.1%)
I would discuss it publically with him.
1 (3.1%)
I would not hesitate to correct him in public.
2 (6.3%)
I'm not sure/ It's never come up.
3 (9.4%)
I would mention it to someone else (e.g., the Matushka or Deacon), and hope that they passed along my thoughts.
1 (3.1%)

Total Members Voted: 32

Author Topic: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...  (Read 2603 times)

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Offline Justin Kissel

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Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« on: December 23, 2006, 05:36:37 PM »
I've noticed a wide range of approaches in how lay people treat priests (which is to be expected). I'm curious as to how many would question a priest's beliefs, though, and how people would go about making that questioning known. For the purposes of this poll, let's assume that the disputed belief, practice, or statement in question is one that you consider important (ie. we're not just talking about misquoting a Church Father or giving the wrong verse address).
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 05:37:14 PM by Asteriktos »
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Offline GiC

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2006, 02:04:56 PM »
Anathemas are always fun ;)
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Offline serb1389

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2007, 12:18:01 PM »
Most of the time I wouldn't yell at him accross the room, but I would definately have words with him. 

Why is it that people think that priests are unaproachable?  A lot of people "in the old country" think that you should never do anything remotely "bad" to a priest.  Yet those parishes end up being the ones with the most animosity towards a priest. 

Anyway...i would give it to him.  And if I were wrong, I would appologize and move on.  If he were wrong though...i'm sure he wouldn't admit it (in most cases, not all). 
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Offline Justin Kissel

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2007, 12:44:26 PM »
Fwiw, one of the things that I was thinking of when I posted this is a Russian canon that I have seen quoted, which says that a lay person cannot correct a priest in public, even if the lay person is right. I am not, of course, saying that I personally believe that priests should be immune from correction.
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Offline serb1389

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2007, 05:47:44 PM »
SO if the priest screws up, who do you tell?  The bishop?  If he screws up, then do you tell the Patriarch?  And if he screws up, who do you tell...? 

The real answer is God.  Its God who deals with these people in His way.  But people are the ones who suffer underneath the hands of the clergyman.  So are they martyrs?  Confessors?  Fools for Christ? 

Just a thought... ;D
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Offline Landon77

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2007, 09:32:51 PM »
I just think that as a general rule, corrections should be done in private, for lay or priest.  I wouldn't want my priest to come up to me during coffee hour and correct me on something.
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Offline Zoe

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2007, 09:48:59 PM »
Uhm, well I believe it depends on the context.  During bible studies my priest and me get into it a bit, but he's used to my banter and knows that I mean no harm.  However, I wouldn't go up to him at some function and say "uh, yeah, remember what you said during your sermon?  not so much."

So I'm gonna go with "in private".
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Offline serb1389

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2007, 12:13:46 AM »
I like your example Zoe,

If a priest said something during a sermon that I didn't like I would FOR SURE question him about it during coffee hour.  Why not?  Shouldn't we be a church?  Shouldn't we all be striving for salvation?  Doesn't the orthodox church tell us to push ourselves to achieve answers to our questions? 

As Christians I should be able to openly ask my priest something.  Why should I hide my question?  Because it might embarass him?  Because others could be scandalized? 

I've heard the phrase "some questions are better asked in private" which is true.  If you're going to reveal something in private, so be it, but if we keep relegating ourselves to questions in private then we can never become a corporate church, where we all have to deal with each other openly.  We can just use "backdoor" politics and "closed door" tactics until we get what we want. 

If we could be open with each other and deal with each other's burdens....well...maybe we'd be Christians....
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Offline Fr. David

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2007, 01:54:42 AM »
I actually did this to my (former) parish priest.  I asked if we could meet to talk in his office, we did, he asked forgiveness for what he'd said/done.

Not so hard.
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Offline FHL

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2007, 07:00:24 AM »
I haven't had much experience with correcting people (usually it's the other way around), but a good piece of advice I heard was that if the error was made in public, correct in public, if made in private, correct in private. The reason is if the mistake is made in public, people could be mislead, but if it was made in private, there is no need to correct publicly besides some kind of selfish desire to make that person look bad.
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Offline serb1389

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2007, 10:50:04 AM »
That doesn't sound like a bad idea...

Still doesn't "do it" for me though... ;)
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Offline Simayan

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2007, 05:39:13 PM »
Our Bible Studies are pretty uppity. But everyone knows it's all done to better understand each other's views.

I remember a few months ago, our priest got a miffed that nobody was participating, and skipped over the Petitions. People sent in e-mails, and then next week, he put them in the Bulletin under Anonymous and asked for our forgiveness.

I can't even THINK about being around a priest that refused to listen to his flock. A priest is there to lead, but they are not infallible. And when they are wrong, for their own benefit, they must be corrected.

However, I would never do it in public and yell "You're wrong!" across the church during the Sermon. I think an e-mail or a talk in a quiet corner during coffee hour works best.

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Offline serb1389

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2007, 12:52:16 PM »
I wouldn't go that far either.  But i've had half a mind to sometimes... ;)

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Offline FrChris

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2007, 01:10:25 PM »
But i've had half a mind to sometimes... ;)


Man, there are so many jokes that can start from this line.... ;)
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Offline serb1389

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Re: Out of Curiosity (Relationship Dynamics With Parish Priests)...
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2007, 01:45:43 PM »
Bring it old man!   ;) ;D
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