I've realize that I've made a mistake in rejecting Orthodoxy. Not entirely a mistake, just one fundamental error. First, I am very glad I rejected Orthodoxy for a time. It's important to grow and learn new things, to constantly change one's mind and experience new things. I think life would be hollow and meaningless without experiencing different paths, roads and ways of thinking. So, in that sense I am glad that I rejected Orthodoxy.
On the other hand, I made a fundamental error. While I still hold that empirically, it's likely that the Universe was not created by a god, and that he probably doesn't exist, and that he doesn't interfere in the natural world. Once I read Kierkegaard, I realized that the mystery of faith is separate and distinct from intellectual maneuvering, and I realized that I might need the mystery of faith. I personally, might need to believe in the mystery of faith in order to live a meaningful life, whatever that means in our seemingly meaningless human condition.
And that's why I've returned to the forum and have considered returning to the Church.
I do have some problems however, such as my social views being contrary to the Church's. my misgivings about god and the supernatural, and that I don't really trust the Orthodox Church's claim to be the "pillar and foundation of the truth" anymore.
I think the Orthodox Church is the most correct and most ancient of the existing Churches, but I cannot bring myself to believe with absolute certainty that it is the true Church period, or that it's doctrine was always believed by Christians and Christianity in all times and places. I believe it developed historically, and I also believe that the primitive Church was a lot more deceptive and corrupt than the modern Orthodox Church, and so I have misgivings about the veracity of primitive proto-orthodox theology.
So, what advice do you have for me? I am not as immature as I was before, I'm just someone who realizes that my place in the world is so insignificant that I might want faith, I might require faith and I'm willing to try faith again. There's no other religion that I would turn to apart from the Orthodox Church to find faith again, thus why I have returned.