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Moderated Forums => Orthodox Family Forum => Topic started by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 06:44:36 AM

Title: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 06:44:36 AM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already. And when you let your children date. Thanks!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 07, 2014, 06:47:31 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 06:50:19 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.

Uh ya I guess, I do not need a job I have my parents but car would be nice but I have to be 15.5 years old  :-\
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 07, 2014, 06:58:32 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.

Uh ya I guess, I do not need a job I have my parents but car would be nice but I have to be 15.5 years old  :-\

So your parents will pay for your dates?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 06:59:33 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.

Uh ya I guess, I do not need a job I have my parents but car would be nice but I have to be 15.5 years old  :-\

So your parents will pay for your dates?
I haven't paid for a thing in my life. LOL.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 07, 2014, 07:02:25 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.

Uh ya I guess, I do not need a job I have my parents but car would be nice but I have to be 15.5 years old  :-\

So your parents will pay for your dates?
I haven't paid for a thing in my life. LOL.

Don't worry, you will.  Nothing a girl likes better when you take her out for dinner and you realize the money your parents gave you is not enough.  It's very sexy when she hears you call your parents: "Um, mom?  Yeah can you give me some money to pay for dinner?"  Or even better, just suggest she pay for her half of the meal.  HAWT.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 07:03:43 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.

Uh ya I guess, I do not need a job I have my parents but car would be nice but I have to be 15.5 years old  :-\

So your parents will pay for your dates?
I haven't paid for a thing in my life. LOL.

Don't worry, you will.  Nothing a girl likes better when you take her out for dinner and you realize the money your parents gave you is not enough.  It's very sexy when she hears you call your parents: "Um, mom?  Yeah can you give me some money to pay for dinner?"  Or even better, just suggest she pay for her half of the meal.  HAWT.
::) :P I guess. But it's a credit card so...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 07, 2014, 07:05:40 AM
I didn't date as I didn't have a job or a car.

Uh ya I guess, I do not need a job I have my parents but car would be nice but I have to be 15.5 years old  :-\

So your parents will pay for your dates?
I haven't paid for a thing in my life. LOL.

Don't worry, you will.  Nothing a girl likes better when you take her out for dinner and you realize the money your parents gave you is not enough.  It's very sexy when she hears you call your parents: "Um, mom?  Yeah can you give me some money to pay for dinner?"  Or even better, just suggest she pay for her half of the meal.  HAWT.
::) :P I guess. But it's a credit card so...
Credit card, lol.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 07, 2014, 07:18:59 AM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already. And when you let your children date. Thanks!

Neither I nor my husband dated as teens, and neither of us feels we missed out on anything. The school years are for studying and socialising, not for romance.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 07, 2014, 08:17:21 AM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already.

It's a bit silly, but if that's what you want to do go ahead.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: primuspilus on November 07, 2014, 08:30:39 AM
As I asked my son concerning this topic. Dude, why do you want to have a girlfriend?

Me: "Can you provide for her?"
Boyperson: "No."
Me: "Are you going to marry her?"
Boyperson: "Probably not...."
Me: "You gonna live together?"
Boyhuman: "No...dad....no."
Me: "So basically, you want a girlfriend so you can suck face and hang all over her and spend less time with your friends.....right?"
Boy: "Dad, thats stupid. Dont call it sucking face........Im not gonna hang all over.....*sigh* forget it.....you're probably right....lets go play Battlefield 4 dad."
Me: "Go find a server...Im getting some water....be there in a sec."

PP
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 07, 2014, 08:40:43 AM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already. And when you let your children date. Thanks!

Sorry, I can't help you here. But any dates at this age would simply end in a breakup. I know cause I had seen many couples at that age in school. The longest a relationship can last at that age is probably 5 years, at least in my school anyways. I had friends who had been with more girls than my fingers.

I wanted to have a girlfriend at that age to however but it just never came true. Once I joined the Scouts just for the sake of a girl I liked since she's in the movement too. Nothing worked out though since I was too scared to make any moves on her. Then fast forward two years and I liked another girl. Unfortunately, my nervousness got in the way, I panicked when confessing and I got rejected and it was the most painful moment of my life. Looking back, I take it as a necessary experience to my development so I would say, go for it if you like someone at that age just keep in mind that it probably wouldn't last.

Despite all the potential pain of dating at 15, I'm fine with my children dating at that age, if I can actually get married at all that is. As long as there's no drugs and sex, it's fine by me. It's their opportunity to learn about relationships and grow.

Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 08:41:39 AM
The full real dating experience involves:

1) Being able to *personally* invest your time, your money, your energy into it. When you pay for something with dad's money, it's dad's work and time that you're giving the other person, so there is no personal involvement. When you worked four weeks to pay for that special anniversary dinner, it's more than money. (I'm talking here about teen dating folks. I hope you adults already make money enough to pay for a special dinner with a day's work :) )

2) Being able to differentiate the oozy gelatinous mix of infatuation or friendship with sexual desire from real tender affection, the perception that here are two lives that seem to have the potential to become one. This, I must say, requires maturity that only experience *and* good literature can give.

3) No sex. That's one that is difficult to realize, but the point is that when we get sexually involved, everything in the person seems much better. There's a saying to never trust a "I love you" said in bed, specially if it's you who's saying it and although it's an exageration, it gets the spirit of it. Lovers see everything with "desire's eyes" and that's how so many girls end up with messed up men, and vice-versa. *But* do not make the mistake of thinking that your girl will be one you have no sexual desire for. Sexual desire has to be part of it, it's just not the *main* part of it.

If any of that is lacking, you will not be really dating, just playing "date" like a kid plays "astronaut".

That doesn't mean you have to refrain from seeing girls or even go out with the one you like. Just to do not get accommodated and deceive yourself into thinking you're having the real experience of it. You're not.

Talk to them, do go out even if with dad's money for now - if she's ok with that (and frankly, at that age, if she's not ok with "dad's money" think twice if you really want to see her). And don't try to show off. Don't get in debt. Don't go for things that are above your (or your father's) economic reality. Again, if she only likes you because you're paying for expensive things, it's time to find another person. So, to avoid that kind of girl, don't show off.

But do *seek* a way to make your own money that adjusts to your student life and whatever you want to do in the future if you already know it. That way, when you two go out together, it will really be you paying it.

Don't hush or force things, don't promise things you know you can't deliver emotionally or materially, don't promise things even indirectly by letting her believe things you didn't say, try to be a decent, fun company and the whole experience will enrich your future real relationship.

Learn to appreciate female companionship, to really love when they do their "girl" things, to see them as beautiful human beings in their own feminility and also how you as a man can be a good partner to them and how you doing your "man" things can be appreciated by them.

Learn to not be violent, not even in words, to not say or do things that might be humiliating or demeaning, the limits of respect and personal space, to be a friend who will support her in achieving everything God made her to achieve. Learn how to be both strong and kind, but strong as in "I'd face any trouble with you and for you" and never "Shut up woman!", kind as a safe and tender hug when she's sad or her favorite hot drink when she's got a cold and not patronizing stuff that makes her feel like a child.

Also take the opportunity to learn your own limits, what you're willing to accept and what not, to have respect for yourself.

Men can *also* be abused by women, even if most of the times it is not physical.

Learn to identify girls who will do the same as in the paragraphs above for you and not be just lovers, or emotional/wallet vampires.

Also learn to avoid ill-intended manipulative people, people who are "eternal victims", always with a sad story that demands pity and, therefore, obedient servillism to every whim so you are not "one more to "hurt" me". If you are in a dead-end alley the only way to get ahead is to step back, give up that way and change the direction. It's their trouble if they want to self-immolate, not yours.

Some girls like to keep you around as a plan B while they are with their "Plan A", or just to show off to her friends that she's got many admirers, or even to satisfy her own vanity. Don't put yourself in that ridiculous position of being a statistic in frivolous girl's list of "Likes", even if you like her very much. That is emotionally and time consuming and makes you loose opportunities with nice girls who might really want to be with you. Be open to be loved first and then learn to love the person who loves you.

I hope that helps. :) At least, it's a couple of things I'd like to have heard (or read) when I was you age. :)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: scamandrius on November 07, 2014, 08:49:58 AM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already. And when you let your children date. Thanks!

There's a time and place for everything and that time and place is college!

I teach at an upper school and 9th graders are generally too emotionally fragile to handle things of this sort.  What you need to do is concentrate on your studies and do well and not worry about dating. 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: eddybear on November 07, 2014, 09:16:50 AM
I didn't date anyone until I was at university (and then only briefly). Do I look back and regret the lack of a girlfriend at school? Not at all. There is plenty of time for dating when you've finished school, and any relationship you enter at least has a chance of lasting.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 10:01:06 AM
As I asked my son concerning this topic. Dude, why do you want to have a girlfriend?

Me: "Can you provide for her?"
Boyperson: "No."
Me: "Are you going to marry her?"
Boyperson: "Probably not...."
Me: "You gonna live together?"
Boyhuman: "No...dad....no."
Me: "So basically, you want a girlfriend so you can suck face and hang all over her and spend less time with your friends.....right?"
Boy: "Dad, thats stupid. Dont call it sucking face........Im not gonna hang all over.....*sigh* forget it.....you're probably right....lets go play Battlefield 4 dad."
Me: "Go find a server...Im getting some water....be there in a sec."

PP
Best. Dad. Ever.  ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 10:07:43 AM
I don't know what advice to give the OP here.  When I was a kid, having a girlfriend meant going to the local playground and chatting while swinging on the swings. I'm pretty sure I would have had a heart attack if we had actually kissed.  When I see the local kids with gf/bf now, there is a whole lot more going on than that.  I don't think I would even begin to know how to date nowadays.  When my daughters start developing interests in boys, I think I'm going to just shoot any potential suitors.  That solves the problem quickly.  :P
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: mabsoota on November 07, 2014, 10:26:26 AM
dating at 14 is fine, if you're planning to be married at 16.
if you think you will have a job by the age of 16 and be emotionally ready to have children, then it's fine by me.









(99.9% of the world's teen couples will not fulfil these criteria!)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 07, 2014, 10:36:42 AM
I don't know what advice to give the OP here.  When I was a kid, having a girlfriend meant going to the local playground and chatting while swinging on the swings. I'm pretty sure I would have had a heart attack if we had actually kissed.  When I see the local kids with gf/bf now, there is a whole lot more going on than that.  I don't think I would even begin to know how to date nowadays.  When my daughters start developing interests in boys, I think I'm going to just shoot any potential suitors.  That solves the problem quickly.  :P

The number one problem with dating nowadays, perhaps second only to having to pay for it, is dad with a shotgun.

Charbelkaleab, remember to wear a bullet proof vest under your shirt.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 07, 2014, 10:41:17 AM
I don't know what advice to give the OP here.  When I was a kid, having a girlfriend meant going to the local playground and chatting while swinging on the swings. I'm pretty sure I would have had a heart attack if we had actually kissed.  When I see the local kids with gf/bf now, there is a whole lot more going on than that.  I don't think I would even begin to know how to date nowadays.  When my daughters start developing interests in boys, I think I'm going to just shoot any potential suitors.  That solves the problem quickly.  :P

The number one problem with dating nowadays, perhaps second only to having to pay for it, is dad with a shotgun.

Charbelkaleab, remember to wear a bullet proof vest under your shirt.

Better still (not to mention cheaper), wait until you don't need anyone's permission. :police:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:41:31 AM
I don't know what advice to give the OP here.  When I was a kid, having a girlfriend meant going to the local playground and chatting while swinging on the swings. I'm pretty sure I would have had a heart attack if we had actually kissed.  When I see the local kids with gf/bf now, there is a whole lot more going on than that.  I don't think I would even begin to know how to date nowadays.  When my daughters start developing interests in boys, I think I'm going to just shoot any potential suitors.  That solves the problem quickly.  :P

The number one problem with dating nowadays, perhaps second only to having to pay for it, is dad with a shotgun.

Charbelkaleab, remember to wear a bullet proof vest under your shirt.
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Alveus Lacuna on November 07, 2014, 10:43:15 AM
I didn't date until I was 18. The girl I dated eventually ended up becoming my wife. I have no regrets about forgoing dating at an earlier age. Most of the kids I knew were sexually active or heavy petters, even in middle school. I just didn't see the point since I wanted to wait until marriage.

All of the kids at my church were dating and having all of these dramatic breakups, or "God told me to marry you" moments, so I just focused on the things that mattered like theology, school grades, death metal, etc.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 10:44:28 AM
I don't know what advice to give the OP here.  When I was a kid, having a girlfriend meant going to the local playground and chatting while swinging on the swings. I'm pretty sure I would have had a heart attack if we had actually kissed.  When I see the local kids with gf/bf now, there is a whole lot more going on than that.  I don't think I would even begin to know how to date nowadays.  When my daughters start developing interests in boys, I think I'm going to just shoot any potential suitors.  That solves the problem quickly.  :P

The number one problem with dating nowadays, perhaps second only to having to pay for it, is dad with a shotgun.

Charbelkaleab, remember to wear a bullet proof vest under your shirt.
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?
that depends on how fast you want that shotgun shell coming at you.  ;)

(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Shotgun+shell_d26ac1_4739018.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 07, 2014, 10:45:38 AM
I don't know what advice to give the OP here.  When I was a kid, having a girlfriend meant going to the local playground and chatting while swinging on the swings. I'm pretty sure I would have had a heart attack if we had actually kissed.  When I see the local kids with gf/bf now, there is a whole lot more going on than that.  I don't think I would even begin to know how to date nowadays.  When my daughters start developing interests in boys, I think I'm going to just shoot any potential suitors.  That solves the problem quickly.  :P

The number one problem with dating nowadays, perhaps second only to having to pay for it, is dad with a shotgun.

Charbelkaleab, remember to wear a bullet proof vest under your shirt.
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?

"What the heck are you doing with my daughter?!"

(http://www.quickmeme.com/img/55/55bbc313574719edc9e015d0a3ed5afb9e085655bd90e613945f3abbe071894e.jpg)

Edit: damn you TheTris, only a few seconds faster.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 10:47:24 AM
As was once conveyed to me:  " Remember that I fertilized that egg before you get your tongue too close to her."
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 07, 2014, 10:51:12 AM
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?

And if it's not, it can be fixed.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4111/5031538987_76f9f1a111_m.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 07, 2014, 10:53:28 AM
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?

And if it's not, it can be fixed.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4111/5031538987_76f9f1a111_m.jpg)

Are those the tool of a dentist or a torturer?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 07, 2014, 10:56:28 AM
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?

And if it's not, it can be fixed.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4111/5031538987_76f9f1a111_m.jpg)

Are those the tool of a dentist or a torturer?

Neither. (I bet Yesh can identify them all. :laugh: )

I'm not a dad, so my train of thought is 'why shoot them, when making them sing soprano is so much more amusing?'
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 10:58:45 AM
I think I speak for all mankind when I say, Never touch another man's jewels.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 07, 2014, 11:00:33 AM
I think I speak for all mankind when I say, Never touch another man's jewels.

Womankind is not that squeamish.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 11:01:25 AM
I like this one:

(https://img1.etsystatic.com/023/1/5445311/il_570xN.519014677_akpb.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 11:05:03 AM
Oh Lord guys.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 11:08:38 AM
And this:


APPLICATION   FOR  PERMISSION TO  DATE  MY  DAUGHTER

Courtesy of The Freeman Institute

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.

NAME:_________________________________DATE OF BIRTH:_____________________
HEIGHT:___________  WEIGHT:____________   I.Q.__________  GPA____________
SOCIAL SECURITY#_________________________________________________________
DRIVERS LICENSE#_________________________________________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK:__________________________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS:____________________________________________________________
CITY/STATE_________________________________________  ZIP_________________
Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?     _______ yes?  _______ no?
Number of years parents married:_________________________________________

Do you own a van? _________  A truck with oversized tires? __________
A waterbed? _________ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly ring?_______________ Tatoo?_______________
(IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you? _________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________


In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?  _________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________


Congregation you attend:_______________________________________________
How often do you attend?_________________________________________________

When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? (supply phone numbers)_____________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________

ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.

A) "If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is _________________________________________________________________________

B) "If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ______________ _________________________________________________________________________

C) "A woman’s place is in the ______________________________________________

D) "The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _________ _________________________________________________________________________

E) "When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her is ______________ _________________________________________________________________________
(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion.)

 
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS TORTURE.

 

____________________________________________
SIGNATURE (That means your name, moron!)

Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, anyway). Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will notify you – one size fits all.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 11:39:29 AM
And this:


APPLICATION   FOR  PERMISSION TO  DATE  MY  DAUGHTER

Courtesy of The Freeman Institute

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.

NAME:_________________________________DATE OF BIRTH:_____________________
HEIGHT:___________  WEIGHT:____________   I.Q.__________  GPA____________
SOCIAL SECURITY#_________________________________________________________
DRIVERS LICENSE#_________________________________________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK:__________________________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS:____________________________________________________________
CITY/STATE_________________________________________  ZIP_________________
Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?     _______ yes?  _______ no?
Number of years parents married:_________________________________________

Do you own a van? _________  A truck with oversized tires? __________
A waterbed? _________ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly ring?_______________ Tatoo?_______________
(IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you? _________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________


In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?  _________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________


Congregation you attend:_______________________________________________
How often do you attend?_________________________________________________

When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends? (supply phone numbers)_____________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________

ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.

A) "If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is _________________________________________________________________________

B) "If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ______________ _________________________________________________________________________

C) "A woman’s place is in the ______________________________________________

D) "The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _________ _________________________________________________________________________

E) "When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her is ______________ _________________________________________________________________________
(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion.)

 
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE JANET RENO KISS TORTURE.

 

____________________________________________
SIGNATURE (That means your name, moron!)

Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow four to six years for processing. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, anyway). Any attempt to make contact might cause you injury. If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and cement shoes will notify you – one size fits all.
Thanks. Ya this application makes me scared so I am good. Have a nice day Sir.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 11:41:38 AM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Elisha on November 07, 2014, 12:11:37 PM
As I asked my son concerning this topic. Dude, why do you want to have a girlfriend?

Me: "Can you provide for her?"
Boyperson: "No."
Me: "Are you going to marry her?"
Boyperson: "Probably not...."
Me: "You gonna live together?"
Boyhuman: "No...dad....no."
Me: "So basically, you want a girlfriend so you can suck face and hang all over her and spend less time with your friends.....right?"
Boy: "Dad, thats stupid. Dont call it sucking face........Im not gonna hang all over.....*sigh* forget it.....you're probably right....lets go play Battlefield 4 dad."
Me: "Go find a server...Im getting some water....be there in a sec."

PP
Best. Dad. Ever.  ;D

+1 here...not sure about Best Dad Ever, but excellent exchange. 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 12:26:43 PM
I would have been in 7th heaven if my dad offered to play video games with me.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 07, 2014, 12:34:30 PM
For me there is a huge difference in


'asking a girl to a school dance or something....even maybe to hang out at another school event like a sports game'

and

'Girlfriend'



The first is part of normal school life.....but at 14?  there is zero need to be more serious about anything but your studies.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 12:40:42 PM
For me there is a huge difference in


'asking a girl to a school dance or something....even maybe to hang out at another school event like a sports game'

and

'Girlfriend'



The first is part of normal school life.....but at 14?  there is zero need to be more serious about anything but your studies.
In 9th grade, going to a basketball game with a girl pretty much = girlfriend in my school. lol
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 12:59:44 PM
For me there is a huge difference in


'asking a girl to a school dance or something....even maybe to hang out at another school event like a sports game'

and

'Girlfriend'



The first is part of normal school life.....but at 14?  there is zero need to be more serious about anything but your studies.
In 9th grade, going to a basketball game with a girl pretty much = girlfriend in my school. lol

Mine too.

I think the right time to start is when the person feels confortable with starting without peer pressure or being obsessive about it. *I* believe the best time to get married is in the 20s, preferably early 20s. It means that 15 is a good age to start searching.

The concept of dedicating oneself exclusively to work/study precisely when everything in us is saying "find a partner" as if one day study/work life would be steady and peaceful enough to allow one to think solely of finding a girlfriend/boyfriend seems odd to me. Being able to harmonize family life and work life will always be part of the married life, so why not learn to harmonize dating with studies right now?

If your dating is harming your studies, you're doing it wrong. If your studies prevent you from taking care of the person you love you're doing it wrong. Take responsibility for both. Hard? You bet. Welcome to adult life.

And there's this: http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20

If one is to avoid adultescence and already be an adult by early 20s, thinking about *all* - studies, girls or boys and work - is part of it.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 01:18:00 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 02:27:01 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.

There's no easy way out of that when we're at that age.

Either you invite her out and the consequences can be very good or awful, or you don't invite her out and they *will* be awful because you see she slowly drifting away.

So the real question is: have you been talking to her long enough that it's not a freak thing to invite her out? I mean, she has to not only know who you are and know your name, you two need to have had a couple of nice talks that were fun for both of you, *without* falling into the friendzone.  You two have to be close enough that you feel comfortable being with each other, meaning, you already have a first degree of mutual trust.

If you have that there are many things you can do to see if it can go ahead.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 07, 2014, 02:30:58 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.
Go for it and keep your hormones in check.  ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 02:42:12 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.
Go for it and keep your hormones in check.  ;)
Oh lord.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Hamartolos on November 07, 2014, 02:56:06 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.
Go for it and keep your hormones in check.  ;)

Exactly.  Don't listen to the rest of these prudes ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 02:58:47 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.
Go for it and keep your hormones in check.  ;)
Oh lord.

Pick up lines NOT to use:

You: Hey! Πώς είσαι, το φως της καρδιάς μου;
Her: What?
You: You don't speak Greek?
Her: Of course not!
You: Sorry it's because by the way you look I thought you were a Greek goddess!

You: Hey do you know what scientists found out?
Her: Nopes.
You: There are two kinds of girl. Those who like to flap their arms and fly and those who like to be kissed.
Her: I don't fly...
You: Well...

And don't buy a bouquet of flowers and tell the flowershop to deliver it in her classroom, specially if you study in the same classroom. It doesn't end well. Not that I've done it when I was in high school, a friend of mine did it and told me.... ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: mabsoota on November 07, 2014, 06:10:04 PM
just be friends.

99% of romantic feelings you have at 14 don't last.
no need to break someone's heart over it.

also no need to kiss someone you don't intend to marry.
even better if you wait till after the marriage.

kissing makes you want to have sex even more badly than you do currently
(sorry to be explicit. people under the age of 10, please look away).

kissing does not make the feeling go away. it makes it worse.
and seeing as you can't legally get married for at least 2 years (depending on the country you live in),
stop it before you start.
there is no need to start throwing fuel on the fire before then.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 07:55:52 PM
just be friends.

99% of romantic feelings you have at 14 don't last.
no need to break someone's heart over it.

also no need to kiss someone you don't intend to marry.
even better if you wait till after the marriage.

kissing makes you want to have sex even more badly than you do currently
(sorry to be explicit. people under the age of 10, please look away).

kissing does not make the feeling go away. it makes it worse.
and seeing as you can't legally get married for at least 2 years (depending on the country you live in),
stop it before you start.
there is no need to start throwing fuel on the fire before then.
NO KISSING WHAT
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 07:56:47 PM
On a somewhat more serious note, do you have a girl in mind that you want to date or are you just wondering on the possiblity of dating?
Girl in mind.
Go for it and keep your hormones in check.  ;)
Oh lord.

Pick up lines NOT to use:

You: Hey! Πώς είσαι, το φως της καρδιάς μου;
Her: What?
You: You don't speak Greek?
Her: Of course not!
You: Sorry it's because by the way you look I thought you were a Greek goddess!

You: Hey do you know what scientists found out?
Her: Nopes.
You: There are two kinds of girl. Those who like to flap their arms and fly and those who like to be kissed.
Her: I don't fly...
You: Well...

And don't buy a bouquet of flowers and tell the flowershop to deliver it in her classroom, specially if you study in the same classroom. It doesn't end well. Not that I've done it when I was in high school, a friend of mine did it and told me.... ;)
Bc I totally know Greek too. LOL. I will not do the flowershop tho  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 07, 2014, 07:58:27 PM
just be friends.

99% of romantic feelings you have at 14 don't last.
no need to break someone's heart over it.

also no need to kiss someone you don't intend to marry.
even better if you wait till after the marriage.

kissing makes you want to have sex even more badly than you do currently
(sorry to be explicit. people under the age of 10, please look away).

kissing does not make the feeling go away. it makes it worse.
and seeing as you can't legally get married for at least 2 years (depending on the country you live in),
stop it before you start.
there is no need to start throwing fuel on the fire before then.
NO KISSING WHAT

Charbelkaleab, Mabsoota is giving you excellent advice.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 08:01:43 PM
just be friends.

99% of romantic feelings you have at 14 don't last.
no need to break someone's heart over it.

also no need to kiss someone you don't intend to marry.
even better if you wait till after the marriage.

kissing makes you want to have sex even more badly than you do currently
(sorry to be explicit. people under the age of 10, please look away).

kissing does not make the feeling go away. it makes it worse.
and seeing as you can't legally get married for at least 2 years (depending on the country you live in),
stop it before you start.
there is no need to start throwing fuel on the fire before then.
NO KISSING WHAT

Charbelkaleab, Mabsoota is giving you excellent advice.
That would be hard.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 07, 2014, 08:03:38 PM
just be friends.

99% of romantic feelings you have at 14 don't last.
no need to break someone's heart over it.

also no need to kiss someone you don't intend to marry.
even better if you wait till after the marriage.

kissing makes you want to have sex even more badly than you do currently
(sorry to be explicit. people under the age of 10, please look away).

kissing does not make the feeling go away. it makes it worse.
and seeing as you can't legally get married for at least 2 years (depending on the country you live in),
stop it before you start.
there is no need to start throwing fuel on the fire before then.
NO KISSING WHAT

Charbelkaleab, Mabsoota is giving you excellent advice.
That would be hard.

Life is hard, charbelbekab. Please take the advice of those who have lived much longer than you have.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 08:06:43 PM
just be friends.

99% of romantic feelings you have at 14 don't last.
no need to break someone's heart over it.

also no need to kiss someone you don't intend to marry.
even better if you wait till after the marriage.

kissing makes you want to have sex even more badly than you do currently
(sorry to be explicit. people under the age of 10, please look away).

kissing does not make the feeling go away. it makes it worse.
and seeing as you can't legally get married for at least 2 years (depending on the country you live in),
stop it before you start.
there is no need to start throwing fuel on the fire before then.
NO KISSING WHAT

Charbelkaleab, Mabsoota is giving you excellent advice.
That would be hard.

Life is hard, charbelbekab. Please take the advice of those who have lived much longer than you have.
Of course. I respect and will take all advice.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 08:08:33 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 09:02:45 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 07, 2014, 09:11:26 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.

You can ask her father how many goats he would want for her hand. If you happen to have run out of farm animals, you could do slave work for him for seven years. But unveil the bride before you make the vows, just to guarantee he is not marrying you to her sister to force you to another seven years.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 09:19:42 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.

You can ask her father how many goats he would want for her hand. If you happen to have run out of farm animals, you could do slave work for him for seven years. But unveil the bride before you make the vows, just to guarantee he is not marrying you to her sister to force you to another seven years.
*straight face x1000*
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 09:34:59 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 09:57:16 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 10:13:23 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:22:44 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:23:26 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 10:25:15 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:27:00 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 10:31:39 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:39:41 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 10:43:38 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???

You're reading so much into what I said that's not there. Where did I say any of that?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there are no "dates" in Orthodoxy. Marriages should be arranged by elders who know better, like LBK. I suppose if you want to be really modern, you can have chaperoned meetings between prospective spouses before the marriage, though that should be done with caution so as not to inflame youthful passions.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:47:59 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???

You're reading so much into what I said that's not there. Where did I say any of that?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there are no "dates" in Orthodoxy. Marriages should be arranged by elders who know better, like LBK. I suppose if you want to be really modern, you can have chaperoned meetings between prospective spouses before the marriage, though that should be done with caution so as not to inflame youthful passions.
NO IM NOT MARRYING A RANDOM CHICK. I didnt know that's how the True Orthodox Church did it.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 10:50:41 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???

You're reading so much into what I said that's not there. Where did I say any of that?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there are no "dates" in Orthodoxy. Marriages should be arranged by elders who know better, like LBK. I suppose if you want to be really modern, you can have chaperoned meetings between prospective spouses before the marriage, though that should be done with caution so as not to inflame youthful passions.
NO IM NOT MARRYING A RANDOM CHICK. I didnt know that's how the True Orthodox Church did it.

There is no "random" in Orthodoxy. All is governed by Providence and it is a heresy to believe in chance.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 07, 2014, 10:51:31 PM
Quit messing with a kid Jonathan....


honestly...you are doing him no good.



Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 07, 2014, 10:52:27 PM
 Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:54:04 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???

You're reading so much into what I said that's not there. Where did I say any of that?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there are no "dates" in Orthodoxy. Marriages should be arranged by elders who know better, like LBK. I suppose if you want to be really modern, you can have chaperoned meetings between prospective spouses before the marriage, though that should be done with caution so as not to inflame youthful passions.
NO IM NOT MARRYING A RANDOM CHICK. I didnt know that's how the True Orthodox Church did it.

There is no "random" in Orthodoxy. All is governed by Providence and it is a heresy to believe in chance.
LITERALLY ABOUT TO BLOW UP I CANT EVEN CONTINUE WITH THIS
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:54:24 PM
Quit messing with a kid Jonathan....


honestly...you are doing him no good.




He better be messing with me.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:54:34 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 10:56:03 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Sorry, charbelkaleab. Denise is right, I was yanking your chain.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 10:57:22 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Sorry, charbelkaleab. Denise is right, I was yanking your chain.
Oh okay good. Was about to find the NSA servers and get your address.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 11:00:11 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Sorry, charbelkaleab. Denise is right, I was yanking your chain.
Oh okay good. Was about to find the NSA servers and get your address.

What, you think I wouldn't have all my communications double-encrypted? What even makes you think my real name is "Jonathan Gress"?

This is also a joke
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 07, 2014, 11:02:01 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 11:04:25 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 07, 2014, 11:08:10 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.
8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 07, 2014, 11:10:18 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.

Definitely....though he might change his mind after realizing the heavy economic cost of a few dates
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 07, 2014, 11:58:21 PM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.

Definitely....though he might change his mind after realizing the heavy economic cost of a few dates

Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Maria on November 08, 2014, 12:14:53 AM


(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oJiRUvpjsbc/VBJ6xIwPp5I/AAAAAAAABCI/O0EkgLleT9U/s1600/unnamed.gif)

Beware of arranged marriages, especially those arranged by yiayia.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 08, 2014, 12:55:26 AM
« Last Edit: Today at 23:16:33 by Maria »

;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 08, 2014, 01:39:53 AM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.

Definitely....though he might change his mind after realizing the heavy economic cost of a few dates

That won't happen until his parents decide to pull the credit card.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 08, 2014, 08:05:02 AM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.

Definitely....though he might change his mind after realizing the heavy economic cost of a few dates

Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Yes, food's expensive and the girl would expect the guy to pay most of the time  :(
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 08, 2014, 08:06:28 AM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.

Definitely....though he might change his mind after realizing the heavy economic cost of a few dates

That won't happen until his parents decide to pull the credit card.

They would have to after a few dates and gifts  :D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 08, 2014, 08:09:29 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything?

No.  Yes.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 08:10:22 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 08:35:10 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money?

No. Theoretically one could take a date to McDonalds and order the dollar menu.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 08:47:24 AM
Hwaiting!!! ヽ(。ゝω・。)ノ
Huh??

Oh...erm..Sorry, I got distracted with you and Jonathan bickering back and forth. It was honestly enjoyable to watch the slug fest between you guys so I was cheering you guys on.

"Hwaiting" is simply the Korean way of cheering people on.

It was an uneven contest. charbelkaleab is such a sweet and guileless young guy. Whoever snags him in marriage will be lucky.

Definitely....though he might change his mind after realizing the heavy economic cost of a few dates

That won't happen until his parents decide to pull the credit card.
The thing is I'm the one who "owns" her credit card.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 08:48:24 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Hawkeye on November 08, 2014, 08:51:06 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 08:52:48 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 08:55:58 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 09:10:09 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 09:12:43 AM
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

Not on credit, I hope.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 09:14:50 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child

A child your age has no business having any more than 1/10 of that money a week. You'll never learn to manage money if you don't have limits.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 09:18:31 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child

A child your age has no business having any more than 1/10 of that money a week. You'll never learn to manage money if you don't have limits.

$70 a week? Kids his age shouldn't even get to spend more than half that a month.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 08, 2014, 09:18:50 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child

I want to be an Expensive Child but my mom always keep track on what I spent 'my' allowance on. She would kill me if my spending actually exceed $50 a week when I was still schooling. In college, I'm only permitted to spend $200 a week and that's because food's expensive.

I am assuming a Dollar for a Dollar here since I'm not American. What I spend weekly in School and in College would be lesser if I take exchange rates into account.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 09:21:03 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child

A child your age has no business having any more than 1/10 of that money a week. You'll never learn to manage money if you don't have limits.

$70 a week? Kids his age shouldn't even get to spend more than half that a month.

Depends on where you are. $70 is about £45, and that won't buy you very much.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 09:25:46 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child

A child your age has no business having any more than 1/10 of that money a week. You'll never learn to manage money if you don't have limits.

$70 a week? Kids his age shouldn't even get to spend more than half that a month.
You guys haven't visited Long Cove Mason.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 09:26:07 AM
Must a date always cost lots of money? Must the guy always pay for everything? There seem to be a lot of unexamined assumptions in how people have been talking about dates here.

Generally, the one who extends the invitation foots the bill. How much it will all add up to will depend on how much they want to impress (and the limit of the credit card payer's patience). One of the advantages of group outings is that each one pays for themselves, and treating that special someone to part of it is even more appreciated.
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

$700 a week seems like an awfully high amount.
???

As in, 'people with more money than sense'.

Dude, the average grown-up is lucky to get 700 bucks a year in disposable income. Get real. Life's going to bite you hard if you think money grows on trees.
Okay um $700 a year? Come on. Your not the only one to tell me that, but I don't actually use the money half the time, I'm just an expensive child

A child your age has no business having any more than 1/10 of that money a week. You'll never learn to manage money if you don't have limits.

$70 a week? Kids his age shouldn't even get to spend more than half that a month.

Depends on where you are. $70 is about £45, and that won't buy you very much.
I'm in America.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 09:26:33 AM
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

Not on credit, I hope.
She pays it off.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 10:03:10 AM
Depends on where you are. $70 is about £45, and that won't buy you very much.

What do you buy when you're 14? Some candy and an hamburger every now and then. £45 would be more than sufficient.

Heck, even I rarely spend more than €50 a month (that's $62 or £40 for you Anglosphere folks) and I'm in college.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Shlomlokh on November 08, 2014, 10:08:29 AM
Depends on where you are. $70 is about £45, and that won't buy you very much.

What do you buy when you're 14? Some candy and an hamburger every now and then. £45 would be more than sufficient.

Heck, even I rarely spend more than €50 a month (that's $62 or £40 for you Anglosphere folks).
Does this guy give you a new appreciation for JamesR?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 10:13:48 AM
Depends on where you are. $70 is about £45, and that won't buy you very much.

What do you buy when you're 14? Some candy and an hamburger every now and then. £45 would be more than sufficient.

Heck, even I rarely spend more than €50 a month (that's $62 or £40 for you Anglosphere folks).
Does this guy give you a new appreciation for JamesR?

Don't we all appreciate James way more than we show? At least that's true for me. James is a great chap.

Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 11:36:07 AM
CLOTHING OVER 200 BUCKS, I got 6 sweaters on Saturday for 600 bucks
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 08, 2014, 11:46:45 AM
700 U$ per week? 2800 per month? That's about 7000 Reais, the salary of an IT Architect or a Project Manager with over 10 years of experience here in Brazil. Honestly, your challenge regarding dates will be to find out what is special to her personally regardless of money. The temptation to just buy something or go somewhere anyone would like is too great. Avoid that. Sometimes a cute origami that you made with your own hands with a "I love you" written in it that she finds out in an unexpected place works better than an expensive dinner.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 11:49:26 AM
700 U$ per week? 2800 per month? That's about 7000 Reais, the salary of an IT Architect or a Project Manager with over 10 years of experience here in Brazil. Honestly, your challenge regarding dates will be to find out what is special to her personally regardless of money. The temptation to just buy something or go somewhere anyone would like is too great. Avoid that. Sometimes a cute origami that you made with your own hands with a "I love you" written in it that she finds out in an unexpected place works better than an expensive dinner.
I know money does not buy love for sure. I don't want to spend über amounts buying MK and all that for her. Cute and simple works easier.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 12:09:09 PM
charbelkaleab's parents are clearly loaded and our petit bourgeois advice about spending restraint is going to fall on deaf ears.

But my idea of a date for 15 year olds involves a walk through the park and a couple of ice cream cones. Or two movie tickets and popcorn. Maybe a pack of condoms. Why does everyone assume it must involve a night out at an expensive restaurant?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 12:29:42 PM
charbelkaleab's parents are clearly loaded and our petit bourgeois advice about spending restraint is going to fall on deaf ears.

But my idea of a date for 15 year olds involves a walk through the park and a couple of ice cream cones. Or two movie tickets and popcorn. Maybe a pack of condoms. Why does everyone assume it must involve a night out at an expensive restaurant?
Thank you! Condoms? Not looking for sex at this age.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 01:02:04 PM
charbelkaleab's parents are clearly loaded and our petit bourgeois advice about spending restraint is going to fall on deaf ears.

But my idea of a date for 15 year olds involves a walk through the park and a couple of ice cream cones. Or two movie tickets and popcorn. Maybe a pack of condoms. Why does everyone assume it must involve a night out at an expensive restaurant?
Thank you! Condoms? Not looking for sex at this age.

Sorry, for some reason I can't stop teasing you. But you are 15 now, so be careful about putting yourself in a situation where you might be tempted. Stick to places where grown-ups are around, etc. Otherwise, I think you're good.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 01:09:01 PM
charbelkaleab's parents are clearly loaded and our petit bourgeois advice about spending restraint is going to fall on deaf ears.

But my idea of a date for 15 year olds involves a walk through the park and a couple of ice cream cones. Or two movie tickets and popcorn. Maybe a pack of condoms. Why does everyone assume it must involve a night out at an expensive restaurant?
Thank you! Condoms? Not looking for sex at this age.

Sorry, for some reason I can't stop teasing you. But you are 15 now, so be careful about putting yourself in a situation where you might be tempted. Stick to places where grown-ups are around, etc. Otherwise, I think you're good.
Alright hahahaha. Taking that advice.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 01:33:12 PM
Depends on where you are. $70 is about £45, and that won't buy you very much.

What do you buy when you're 14? Some candy and an hamburger every now and then. £45 would be more than sufficient.

Heck, even I rarely spend more than €50 a month (that's $62 or £40 for you Anglosphere folks) and I'm in college.

A movie ticket and snack will set you back £20 a head. Multiply accordingly if you're paying for others or there's a meal involved as well.

A weekly bus pass is around £15, and a kid is expected to pay that out of pocket. Mobile phone bill, as well, unless they do extra chores.

So, if you wanted to save up for something for yourself or a present for another, you'd need to plan ahead. That's the whole point of having an allowance to begin with.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 02:04:25 PM
Well, keeping his costs within his allowance is of course important. Some of the advice here, like "no don't even think about dating at that age!" seems a little extreme. How about he just invite his girlfriend over to family dinner, with his parents' permission? Or some other activity at home that will not cost anything extra, hopefully, and will allow them to get to know each other while also remaining under adult supervision? Maybe this doesn't count as "dating", but I would say it's a good idea to practice interacting with the opposite sex in a safe and controlled environment at that age. Otherwise you end up like me and are completely clueless when it comes to women when you first start going out with them in college lol.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 02:08:33 PM
The question is, what does 'girlfriend' mean at the age of 14? If it involves activities that cannot be engaged in as a group, it becomes way too much of a temptation. (See upthread for the 'kissing is okay' bit.) Take this from someone dealing with teenagers in the country with the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 02:09:39 PM
The question is, what does 'girlfriend' mean at the age of 14? If it involves activities that cannot be engaged in as a group, it becomes way too much of a temptation. (See upthread for the 'kissing is okay' bit.) Take this from someone dealing with teenagers in the country with the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.

Some would argue the issue there is sexual ignorance and not using proper protection. I know that's different from the specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, but I'm just saying.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 02:14:48 PM
The question is, what does 'girlfriend' mean at the age of 14? If it involves activities that cannot be engaged in as a group, it becomes way too much of a temptation. (See upthread for the 'kissing is okay' bit.) Take this from someone dealing with teenagers in the country with the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.

Some would argue the issue there is sexual ignorance and not using proper protection. I know that's different from the specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, but I'm just saying.

There's plenty of ignorance, sure, even for a country where there's no opting out of sex ed. Just saying. ;)

If you want to put this in a context of specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, the biggest one perhaps is finding another Orthodox person to date, at any age.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 08, 2014, 02:19:12 PM
Well if the poster tells all his peers he buys 200 sweaters and can spend what he wants....

he won't have any issues -getting- girls to take to dinner....


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 02:20:40 PM
The question is, what does 'girlfriend' mean at the age of 14? If it involves activities that cannot be engaged in as a group, it becomes way too much of a temptation. (See upthread for the 'kissing is okay' bit.) Take this from someone dealing with teenagers in the country with the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.

Some would argue the issue there is sexual ignorance and not using proper protection. I know that's different from the specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, but I'm just saying.

There's plenty of ignorance, sure, even for a country where there's no opting out of sex ed. Just saying. ;)

If you want to put this in a context of specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, the biggest one perhaps is finding another Orthodox person to date, at any age.


It is true that availability of contraception and sex ed does not always correlate with lower teen pregnancy rates. Independent cultural factors seem to play a role. Scandinavians have a very low teen pregnancy rate but they are very progressive when it comes to teen sex ed, so you could take that as an example that a progressive approach works, but the same can't be said for American ghettos. But what about my suggestion of spending time with one's girlfriend or boyfriend under parental supervision? For them it's probably irritating not to be left completely on their own, but I'd say it sure beats being grounded 24/7 or whatever else some folks here are suggesting.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 02:26:11 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

Well if the poster tells all his peers he buys 200 sweaters and can spend what he wants....

he won't have any issues -getting- girls to take to dinner....


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

LOL.

But then again, that attracts the wrong kind of girls.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 08, 2014, 02:27:58 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

Well if the poster tells all his peers he buys 200 sweaters and can spend what he wants....

he won't have any issues -getting- girls to take to dinner....


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

LOL.

But then again, that attracts the wrong kind of girls.


well there you go warning him and spoiling the follow up 'Why do all the girls want me for my money'  thread.....
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 02:29:39 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 02:34:15 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 08, 2014, 02:41:07 PM
What a disaster...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 02:42:17 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.

Sure. And deduct it from next week's allowance.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 08, 2014, 02:57:56 PM
The question is, what does 'girlfriend' mean at the age of 14? If it involves activities that cannot be engaged in as a group, it becomes way too much of a temptation. (See upthread for the 'kissing is okay' bit.) Take this from someone dealing with teenagers in the country with the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.

Some would argue the issue there is sexual ignorance and not using proper protection. I know that's different from the specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, but I'm just saying.

There's plenty of ignorance, sure, even for a country where there's no opting out of sex ed. Just saying. ;)

If you want to put this in a context of specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, the biggest one perhaps is finding another Orthodox person to date, at any age.


It is true that availability of contraception and sex ed does not always correlate with lower teen pregnancy rates. Independent cultural factors seem to play a role. Scandinavians have a very low teen pregnancy rate but they are very progressive when it comes to teen sex ed, so you could take that as an example that a progressive approach works, but the same can't be said for American ghettos. But what about my suggestion of spending time with one's girlfriend or boyfriend under parental supervision? For them it's probably irritating not to be left completely on their own, but I'd say it sure beats being grounded 24/7 or whatever else some folks here are suggesting.

It's a given that one-on-one activities are going to be supervised (and, at that age, I mean line-of-sight supervision). Of course it will chafe, but it can also serve as an incentive to go for group activities, which won't be chaperoned like that.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 03:01:44 PM
The question is, what does 'girlfriend' mean at the age of 14? If it involves activities that cannot be engaged in as a group, it becomes way too much of a temptation. (See upthread for the 'kissing is okay' bit.) Take this from someone dealing with teenagers in the country with the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.

Some would argue the issue there is sexual ignorance and not using proper protection. I know that's different from the specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, but I'm just saying.

There's plenty of ignorance, sure, even for a country where there's no opting out of sex ed. Just saying. ;)

If you want to put this in a context of specific issues facing Orthodox teenagers, the biggest one perhaps is finding another Orthodox person to date, at any age.


It is true that availability of contraception and sex ed does not always correlate with lower teen pregnancy rates. Independent cultural factors seem to play a role. Scandinavians have a very low teen pregnancy rate but they are very progressive when it comes to teen sex ed, so you could take that as an example that a progressive approach works, but the same can't be said for American ghettos. But what about my suggestion of spending time with one's girlfriend or boyfriend under parental supervision? For them it's probably irritating not to be left completely on their own, but I'd say it sure beats being grounded 24/7 or whatever else some folks here are suggesting.

It's a given that one-on-one activities are going to be supervised (and, at that age, I mean line-of-sight supervision). Of course it will chafe, but it can also serve as an incentive to go for group activities, which won't be chaperoned like that.

OK it sounds like we're on the same page. Though I'd be careful about spending time with peers. You can't guarantee their other friends will have such a conservative upbringing and they might get funny ideas about what's acceptable.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Salpy on November 08, 2014, 03:12:30 PM
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

Not on credit, I hope.
She pays it off.

Please tell me you do chores around the house.  Please tell me you at least mow the lawn once a week and take out the trash every day, in addition to doing other things to help your parents.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 03:16:17 PM
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

Not on credit, I hope.
She pays it off.

Please tell me you do chores around the house.  Please tell me you at least mow the lawn once a week and take out the trash every day, in addition to doing other things to help your parents.

Mowing the lawn? I'm sure his parents have Guatemalans for that.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Salpy on November 08, 2014, 03:21:59 PM
My brother mowed the lawn when we were kids.  It was the old kind of lawn mower that you had to push. No motor.  I dusted and vacuumed the house.  Chores build character. 

No chores, no girlfriend.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 08, 2014, 03:22:48 PM
Are there really rich Ethiopians out there that weren't deeply involved in one of Ethiopia's many shady regimes? For some reason I doubt it.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 08, 2014, 03:23:18 PM
My brother mowed the lawn when we were kids.  It was the old kind of lawn mower that you had to push. No motor.  I dusted and vacuumed the house.  Chores build character. 

No chores, no girlfriend.


were you buying $200 sweaters at 14?


There is the difference...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 03:27:25 PM
My brother mowed the lawn when we were kids.  It was the old kind of lawn mower that you had to push. No motor.  I dusted and vacuumed the house.  Chores build character. 

No chores, no girlfriend.

Was that before the 1965 Immigration Act?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 08, 2014, 03:28:33 PM
Are there really rich Ethiopians out there that weren't deeply involved in one of Ethiopia's many shady regimes? For some reason I doubt it.

Well this kid's parents are clearly rich so ...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 08, 2014, 05:03:32 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 06:33:42 PM
Are there really rich Ethiopians out there that weren't deeply involved in one of Ethiopia's many shady regimes? For some reason I doubt it.
YES. From being successful. Very big stereotype.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 06:35:10 PM
Are there really rich Ethiopians out there that weren't deeply involved in one of Ethiopia's many shady regimes? For some reason I doubt it.

Well this kid's parents are clearly rich so ...
*straight face x100000000*
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Amatorus on November 08, 2014, 07:26:53 PM
I'm 16 and my standards and are foolishly high--I have a vision of "the one" but I seem to change my preferences. I guess I most prize a near-mirror image of me. If I don't have someone, I get lonely and depressed. Funny because I prefer a long-distance relationship at first.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 08, 2014, 09:54:40 PM
I'm 16 and my standards and are foolishly high--I have a vision of "the one" but I seem to change my preferences. I guess I most prize a near-mirror image of me. If I don't have someone, I get lonely and depressed. Funny because I prefer a long-distance relationship at first.
Gotcha!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 08, 2014, 10:06:51 PM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???

You're reading so much into what I said that's not there. Where did I say any of that?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there are no "dates" in Orthodoxy. Marriages should be arranged by elders who know better, like LBK. I suppose if you want to be really modern, you can have chaperoned meetings between prospective spouses before the marriage, though that should be done with caution so as not to inflame youthful passions.
NO IM NOT MARRYING A RANDOM CHICK. I didnt know that's how the True Orthodox Church did it.

There is no "random" in Orthodoxy. All is governed by Providence and it is a heresy to believe in chance.
This is probably the best conversation I have read in oc.net to date!!!  Jonathan Gress, you are my new hero.  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: gueranger on November 08, 2014, 11:14:16 PM
This thread is hysterical.

I'm 26 and I teach High School. I remember vividly, and witness everyday, what it's like to be 14.

Don't worry about a girlfriend at this stage of life. Have friends who are girls, but forget about sucking face. Because realistically, in High School, that's the only reason you want a girlfriend at this age. And that's just putting yourself into temptation and setting yourself up for heartbreak. Seriously, learn to be friends with girls. That will help you tremendously when it is an appropriate time to date and even get married. Genuine friendship is the most important part of a dating/married relationship.

Take it from me, someone who through no merit of my own, happened to play most of his cards right in life. Study hard. Get a college degree. Learn ballroom dance. Strive to be a perfect gentleman. Get a real job. Sweep a beautiful young woman off her feet.  ;D

Just don't make my mistake and major in any of the liberal arts. You want a job that makes real money!


Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Amatorus on November 08, 2014, 11:37:12 PM
I'm 16 and my standards and are foolishly high--I have a vision of "the one" but I seem to change my preferences. I guess I most prize a near-mirror image of me. If I don't have someone, I get lonely and depressed. Funny because I prefer a long-distance relationship at first.
Gotcha!

Huh?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Agia Marina on November 08, 2014, 11:57:38 PM
I will remember :D but kissing is fine I think ?

And if it's not, it can be fixed.

(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4111/5031538987_76f9f1a111_m.jpg)

Are those the tool of a dentist or a torturer?

Neither. (I bet Yesh can identify them all. :laugh: )

I'm not a dad, so my train of thought is 'why shoot them, when making them sing soprano is so much more amusing?'
(http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/grinser/grinning-smiley-003.gif)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 09, 2014, 08:14:56 AM
This thread is hysterical.

I'm 26 and I teach High School. I remember vividly, and witness everyday, what it's like to be 14.

Don't worry about a girlfriend at this stage of life. Have friends who are girls, but forget about sucking face. Because realistically, in High School, that's the only reason you want a girlfriend at this age. And that's just putting yourself into temptation and setting yourself up for heartbreak. Seriously, learn to be friends with girls. That will help you tremendously when it is an appropriate time to date and even get married. Genuine friendship is the most important part of a dating/married relationship.

Take it from me, someone who through no merit of my own, happened to play most of his cards right in life. Study hard. Get a college degree. Learn ballroom dance. Strive to be a perfect gentleman. Get a real job. Sweep a beautiful young woman off her feet.  ;D

Just don't make my mistake and major in any of the liberal arts. You want a job that makes real money!



Thank you for the advice! I have no want to be a teacher at all (no offense). I want to get into law and become a lawyer.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 09, 2014, 08:16:24 AM
I'm 16 and my standards and are foolishly high--I have a vision of "the one" but I seem to change my preferences. I guess I most prize a near-mirror image of me. If I don't have someone, I get lonely and depressed. Funny because I prefer a long-distance relationship at first.
Gotcha!

Huh?
Just saying Alright to your post!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 09, 2014, 08:17:08 AM
There are no "girlfriends" in Orthodoxy. There is only marriage and monasticism. I would ask her parents why they aren't keeping her in complete seclusion until her wedding can be properly arranged by her elders, unless of course she has taken a vow of virginity.
I'm not getting an "arranged marriage", hopefully that was sarcasm.
So your saying there should be no love in marriage?

There is no "sarcasm" in Orthodoxy. Let your yeas be yeas and your nays nays.
YA I'm not marrying a girl a Priest picked for me. That's not true love.

There is no "true love" in Orthodoxy, except true love for Christ.
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

There is no "make sense" in Orthodoxy. There is only unquestioning acceptance of Tradition.
WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I am pretty sure it doesn't say I CANT FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL BE WITH UNTIL DEATH DO US PART SO.

There is no "love of my life" in Orthodoxy, other than Christ Himself.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL KIDDING ME. YOUR SAYING I SHOULDNT LOVE MY WIFE AND THAT I SHOULDNT NOT WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY AND GO ON DATES AND GET OLD AND BECOME REALLY CUTE AND BE HAPPY WATCH OUR GRANDCHILDREN ALL STILL, STILL, STILL WHILE CHRIST IS THE ROOT OF OUR LOVE???

You're reading so much into what I said that's not there. Where did I say any of that?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there are no "dates" in Orthodoxy. Marriages should be arranged by elders who know better, like LBK. I suppose if you want to be really modern, you can have chaperoned meetings between prospective spouses before the marriage, though that should be done with caution so as not to inflame youthful passions.
NO IM NOT MARRYING A RANDOM CHICK. I didnt know that's how the True Orthodox Church did it.

There is no "random" in Orthodoxy. All is governed by Providence and it is a heresy to believe in chance.
This is probably the best conversation I have read in oc.net to date!!!  Jonathan Gress, you are my new hero.  :D :D :D
I bet it was hilarious! *straight face x999999999999999999*
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 09, 2014, 09:59:38 PM
No replies back??
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: SolEX01 on November 09, 2014, 10:02:42 PM
No replies back??

Seems like whatever needed to be said, was said.  There's no more to add.   :-X
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: orthonorm on November 10, 2014, 01:20:10 AM
Lol @ Jonathan.

Other than that, you people make the purity ring dads look well adjusted.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Alpo on November 10, 2014, 03:28:31 PM
As I asked my son concerning this topic. Dude, why do you want to have a girlfriend?

Me: "Can you provide for her?"
Boyperson: "No."
Me: "Are you going to marry her?"
Boyperson: "Probably not...."
Me: "You gonna live together?"
Boyhuman: "No...dad....no."
Me: "So basically, you want a girlfriend so you can suck face and hang all over her and spend less time with your friends.....right?"
Boy: "Dad, thats stupid. Dont call it sucking face........Im not gonna hang all over.....*sigh* forget it.....you're probably right....lets go play Battlefield 4 dad."
Me: "Go find a server...Im getting some water....be there in a sec."

PP

Wait, you had a meaningful and fruitful discussion with your teenage son? How's that possible?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Sean Chaney on November 10, 2014, 04:23:30 PM
My parents were together at age 17 (Met on Valentine's Day) and were married by the time they were 19.  The social climate has significantly changed and many people are getting married at a later age.....but the dynamics are the same.  If you have made a connection with someone, which is the will of God, then it does not need to be turned away.  Perhaps it was God's will to place the one you would marry in your life at the right time....but in the 9th Grade....don't be discussing marriage....but rather building up appropriate connections, and seeing it grow accordingly.  If you rush it, it will fall apart. People change throughout their highschool years.  Your devotion will be tested. Use proper discernment, and the Godly approach, as you should at any age, but if there is a connection there...it should be embraced rather than discouraged.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 10, 2014, 04:26:02 PM
My parents were together at age 17 (Met on Valentine's Day) and were married by the time they were 19.  The social climate has significantly changed and many people are getting married at a later age.....but the dynamics are the same.  If you have made a connection with someone, which is the will of God, then it does not need to be turned away.  Perhaps it was God's will to place the one you would marry in your life at the right time....but in the 9th Grade....don't be discussing marriage....but rather building up appropriate connections, and seeing it grow accordingly.  If you rush it, it will fall apart. People change throughout their highschool years.  Your devotion will be tested. Use proper discernment, and the Godly approach, as you should at any age, but if there is a connection there...it should be embraced rather than discouraged.
Thanks!  ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Alpo on November 10, 2014, 04:26:58 PM
My parents were together at age 17 (Met on Valentine's Day) and were married by the time they were 19.  The social climate has significantly changed and many people are getting married at a later age.....but the dynamics are the same. 

Things are never the same if the social climate changes. People are not born and do not grow in a vacuum even if they had religious convictions.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: mabsoota on November 10, 2014, 05:03:59 PM
i agree. however, certainly no need for kissing at this stage.

my colleagues in university ('college' in american english) were certainly shocked
when i was engaged after 4 years despite not snogging (deep kissing) guys at parties.

i tried to explain that not kissing guys actually made it MORE likely to get married fairly young,
but i'm not sure they understood.

there is plenty of time after marriage for all that stuff!
 ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 10, 2014, 05:11:07 PM
Snogging is such a great word.  That should be exported over the pond!  :laugh:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 10, 2014, 05:19:50 PM
Snogging is such a great word.  That should be exported over the pond!  :laugh:

When I was going to school in England, our irreverent Anglican school chaplain liked to refer to the evening service as "Evensnog" (Evensong, i.e. Vespers).
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 10, 2014, 05:25:11 PM
Lol @ Jonathan.

Other than that, you people make the purity ring dads look well adjusted.

It could be worse:

(http://media.tumblr.com/d1d53804b7a5295503b72b0dbcb1058b/tumblr_inline_n3go6zH2lV1sw8art.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: orthonorm on November 11, 2014, 12:11:56 AM
Lol @ Jonathan.

Other than that, you people make the purity ring dads look well adjusted.

It could be worse:

(http://media.tumblr.com/d1d53804b7a5295503b72b0dbcb1058b/tumblr_inline_n3go6zH2lV1sw8art.jpg)

After a certain poster's posts many of us require the apparatus on the right as a conjugal aid.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 11, 2014, 01:34:55 AM
Lol @ Jonathan.

Other than that, you people make the purity ring dads look well adjusted.

It could be worse:

(http://media.tumblr.com/d1d53804b7a5295503b72b0dbcb1058b/tumblr_inline_n3go6zH2lV1sw8art.jpg)

After a certain poster's posts many of us require the apparatus on the right as a conjugal aid.

LOL. 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 17, 2014, 12:34:46 PM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already. And when you let your children date. Thanks!

At this age stick with group dating, only start one on one dating once you're done with school. JMO of course but that's how I wish I'd done it when I was younger.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 01:35:04 PM
Hello! I am only in 9th grade and would like to see your opinions on someone my age dating already. And when you let your children date. Thanks!

At this age stick with group dating, only start one on one dating once you're done with school. JMO of course but that's how I wish I'd done it when I was younger.
Why? Jw.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 17, 2014, 03:25:34 PM
Firstly group dating is fun as you can be dating several girls at once. As long as there's no touching it's healthy and a great way to learn how guys and girls should interact with each other. 13-15 is generally the most awkward stage of adolescence so group dating can be more relaxed. I didn't do this and I honestly wish I had, I think it's a phase of the dating scene that should be experienced. Group dating also presents less opportunities for temptation cause you're less likely to be alone with the girl. This is especially important at this age cause most are still learning to master control over their hormones. And everyone pays for themselves so the issue of who pays doesn't come up.

So this girl you like, start out by inviting her out with you and your friends to parties, sporting events, ect., don't take her out alone just yet. JMO of course.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 17, 2014, 03:34:03 PM
I was pretty much scared to talk to girls until I got to college. Now, with 2 sisters, a wife and two daughters, I feel more comfortable talking to women than I do to men.  :P
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 17, 2014, 03:37:34 PM
Oh and as for kissing, my advice, don't do it. Girls in particular consider that very intimate, girls tend to become attached immediately when they get physical with guys. Don't attempt to awaken something you may not have the desire or maturity to handle.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 17, 2014, 03:55:16 PM
Oh and as for kissing, my advice, don't do it. Girls in particular consider that very intimate, girls tend to become attached immediately when they get physical with guys. Don't attempt to awaken something you may not have the desire or maturity to handle.


For example, this happened two years ago and the giraffe still stalks the guy.

(http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/French-Kiss-7.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 17, 2014, 03:56:29 PM
Oh and as for kissing, my advice, don't do it. Girls in particular consider that very intimate, girls tend to become attached immediately when they get physical with guys. Don't attempt to awaken something you may not have the desire or maturity to handle.

I think one issue is determining what your relationship status is based on level of intimacy or physical contact and this differs from one culture to the next. If you're not interested in having a "girlfriend" or a relationship at all, then avoiding kissing is the way to go. But a girl who isn't raised Orthodox or in a similarly conservative environment may think you just want to be friends if you avoid kissing, and so she may feel free to start a relationship with someone else. If that isn't the guy's intention, he'd need to make it clear that he wants an exclusive relationship but wants to avoid physical intimacy, including kissing, until marriage or engagement.

Certainly by the time you become an adult, a secular woman will almost certainly consider sex a necessary component of a relationship and not see the need to wait until marriage. Maintaining an exclusive relationship without physical intimacy is only possible if both parties are religious or at least on the same page regarding what kind of intimacy is acceptable at what stage in the relationship.

My impression is some denominations like the Copts are pretty good at maintaining a culture where men and women can start exclusive relationships without feeling pressure to become physically intimate; both parties are on the same page and understand that intimacy is something for marriage. It's very hard to maintain that kind of culture in a secularizing society, though.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 17, 2014, 03:59:35 PM
Maybe, but I think it is a good rule of thumb for teenagers to refrain from kissing.  Hormones at that age are hard enough to control once they get moving. Putting up roadblocks to slow the pace of the relationship is a good idea.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 17, 2014, 04:00:27 PM
Oh and as for kissing, my advice, don't do it. Girls in particular consider that very intimate, girls tend to become attached immediately when they get physical with guys. Don't attempt to awaken something you may not have the desire or maturity to handle.

I think one issue is determining what your relationship status is based on level of intimacy or physical contact and this differs from one culture to the next. If you're not interested in having a "girlfriend" or a relationship at all, then avoiding kissing is the way to go. But a girl who isn't raised Orthodox or in a similarly conservative environment may think you just want to be friends if you avoid kissing, and so she may feel free to start a relationship with someone else. If that isn't the guy's intention, he'd need to make it clear that he wants an exclusive relationship but wants to avoid physical intimacy, including kissing, until marriage or engagement.

Certainly by the time you become an adult, a secular woman will almost certainly consider sex a necessary component of a relationship and not see the need to wait until marriage. Maintaining an exclusive relationship without physical intimacy is only possible if both parties are religious or at least on the same page regarding what kind of intimacy is acceptable at what stage in the relationship.

My impression is some denominations like the Copts are pretty good at maintaining a culture where men and women can start exclusive relationships without feeling pressure to become physically intimate; both parties are on the same page and understand that intimacy is something for marriage. It's very hard to maintain that kind of culture in a secularizing society, though.

+1
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 17, 2014, 04:10:39 PM
Maybe, but I think it is a good rule of thumb for teenagers to refrain from kissing.  Hormones at that age are hard enough to control once they get moving. Putting up roadblocks to slow the pace of the relationship is a good idea.

This advice makes sense for Orthodox people and others who think sex should wait till marriage, but it makes no sense for those who don't live under those cultural restrictions. Waiting until marriage is pretty much dead outside of religious households, at least in my experience. It might work differently in your community.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 04:23:21 PM
Firstly group dating is fun as you can be dating several girls at once. As long as there's no touching it's healthy and a great way to learn how guys and girls should interact with each other. 13-15 is generally the most awkward stage of adolescence so group dating can be more relaxed. I didn't do this and I honestly wish I had, I think it's a phase of the dating scene that should be experienced. Group dating also presents less opportunities for temptation cause you're less likely to be alone with the girl. This is especially important at this age cause most are still learning to master control over their hormones. And everyone pays for themselves so the issue of who pays doesn't come up.

So this girl you like, start out by inviting her out with you and your friends to parties, sporting events, ect., don't take her out alone just yet. JMO of course.
Thank you so much!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 17, 2014, 04:23:37 PM
Your best option right now is to focus on making money. Forget the girls and forget the socializing. They'll be a distraction. And even if you do meet the right one, marrying her will probably be impossible. Focus solely on academics and saving every bit of money you get. The sooner you finish school and begin your secondary education, the sooner you could get a job and then finally a female who you could not only date, but also marry and lose your virginity with. Trust me. I wish I focused more on money when I was in high school.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 04:23:54 PM
Oh and as for kissing, my advice, don't do it. Girls in particular consider that very intimate, girls tend to become attached immediately when they get physical with guys. Don't attempt to awaken something you may not have the desire or maturity to handle.


For example, this happened two years ago and the giraffe still stalks the guy.

(http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/French-Kiss-7.jpg)
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 04:25:04 PM
Oh and as for kissing, my advice, don't do it. Girls in particular consider that very intimate, girls tend to become attached immediately when they get physical with guys. Don't attempt to awaken something you may not have the desire or maturity to handle.

I think one issue is determining what your relationship status is based on level of intimacy or physical contact and this differs from one culture to the next. If you're not interested in having a "girlfriend" or a relationship at all, then avoiding kissing is the way to go. But a girl who isn't raised Orthodox or in a similarly conservative environment may think you just want to be friends if you avoid kissing, and so she may feel free to start a relationship with someone else. If that isn't the guy's intention, he'd need to make it clear that he wants an exclusive relationship but wants to avoid physical intimacy, including kissing, until marriage or engagement.

Certainly by the time you become an adult, a secular woman will almost certainly consider sex a necessary component of a relationship and not see the need to wait until marriage. Maintaining an exclusive relationship without physical intimacy is only possible if both parties are religious or at least on the same page regarding what kind of intimacy is acceptable at what stage in the relationship.

My impression is some denominations like the Copts are pretty good at maintaining a culture where men and women can start exclusive relationships without feeling pressure to become physically intimate; both parties are on the same page and understand that intimacy is something for marriage. It's very hard to maintain that kind of culture in a secularizing society, though.
I don't know any Copts at my school. Oops. Catholic definitely ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 04:26:07 PM
Your best option right now is to focus on making money. Forget the girls and forget the socializing. They'll be a distraction. And even if you do meet the right one, marrying her will probably be impossible. Focus solely on academics and saving every bit of money you get. The sooner you finish school and begin your secondary education, the sooner you could get a job and then finally a female who you could not only date, but also marry and lose your virginity with. Trust me. I wish I focused more on money when I was in high school.
I am not going to focus on making money now LOL. I have 3 more years of school left, if you forgot. I have my parents for that even though college will be expensive (I want to be a corporate lawyer in NYC)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 17, 2014, 04:30:58 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.

My parents drove me around like personal chauffeurs because they didn't trust me to drive and thought that I'd get killed or eaten if I used public transportation.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 04:57:54 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.

My parents drove me around like personal chauffeurs because they didn't trust me to drive and thought that I'd get killed or eaten if I used public transportation.
Lol. I already have a car picked out. BMW 2014 750i sedan. But it's going to be 2014 and I'm getting my license in 2016 so.
http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive (http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive)
Not the best but it'll do.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: SolEX01 on November 17, 2014, 06:10:18 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.

My parents drove me around like personal chauffeurs because they didn't trust me to drive and thought that I'd get killed or eaten if I used public transportation.
Lol. I already have a car picked out. BMW 2014 750i sedan. But it's going to be 2014 and I'm getting my license in 2016 so.
http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive (http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive)
Not the best but it'll do.

That's an expensive car for a young person.   :P  Are you sure you don't have Affluenza (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affluenza)?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 06:39:29 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.

My parents drove me around like personal chauffeurs because they didn't trust me to drive and thought that I'd get killed or eaten if I used public transportation.
Lol. I already have a car picked out. BMW 2014 750i sedan. But it's going to be 2014 and I'm getting my license in 2016 so.
http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive (http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive)
Not the best but it'll do.

That's an expensive car for a young person.   :P  Are you sure you don't have Affluenza (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affluenza)?
Lol. Come to my town and you will see, why I said that wasn't the best. I am not an "Affluenzer" lolol. My parents handle my debt.  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 17, 2014, 06:49:07 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

People who stay rich don't flaunt their money, both because that would be classless and because it's always better to invest. Ever noticed how old money drives dusty Volvos?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: SolEX01 on November 17, 2014, 06:58:14 PM
A weekly bus pass is around £15

That's why the bike was invented.

It's nice to live in a place where it's safe to ride a bike, isn't it?

If the place where you live isn't safe for bikes, you could blackmail pop and mom.

"I'm going with the bike tomorrow. I need to cut spending. I hope I won't get under a truck"

That'll get them to pay for the bus fare.

My parents drove me around like personal chauffeurs because they didn't trust me to drive and thought that I'd get killed or eaten if I used public transportation.
Lol. I already have a car picked out. BMW 2014 750i sedan. But it's going to be 2014 and I'm getting my license in 2016 so.
http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive (http://cars.findthebest.com/l/4339/2014-BMW-750i-xDrive)
Not the best but it'll do.

That's an expensive car for a young person.   :P  Are you sure you don't have Affluenza (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affluenza)?
Lol. Come to my town and you will see, why I said that wasn't the best. I am not an "Affluenzer" lolol. My parents handle my debt.  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Yup, that's the definition of Affluenza.   ::)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 17, 2014, 07:11:20 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

People who stay rich don't flaunt their money, both because that would be classless and because it's always better to invest. Ever noticed how old money drives dusty Volvos?

Says the guy who's always drinking some fancy shmancy Trappist ale. That stuff can't be cheap. ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 17, 2014, 07:23:47 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

People who stay rich don't flaunt their money, both because that would be classless and because it's always better to invest. Ever noticed how old money drives dusty Volvos?

Says the guy who's always drinking some fancy shmancy Trappist ale. That stuff can't be cheap. ;)

LOL.

At least I don't buy it on credit.

You could get trappist ales for under €2. I have to find the first BMW to cost less than that.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 07:34:20 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

People who stay rich don't flaunt their money, both because that would be classless and because it's always better to invest. Ever noticed how old money drives dusty Volvos?

Says the guy who's always drinking some fancy shmancy Trappist ale. That stuff can't be cheap. ;)

LOL.

At least I don't buy it on credit.

You could get trappist ales for under €2. I have to find the first BMW to cost less than that.
Mhm.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 07:34:52 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

People who stay rich don't flaunt their money, both because that would be classless and because it's always better to invest. Ever noticed how old money drives dusty Volvos?
Maybe I am a stereotype lol. Currently drinking Herbal Tea.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 17, 2014, 07:44:47 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

Stereotype of children of nouveau riche.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 17, 2014, 08:18:30 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

Stereotype of children of nouveau riche.
But I'm not spoiled and my parents don't want me to think we are rich. Parents: We are poor in spirit and that is all that matters. The rich that are not thankful and do not give to those less then themselves are not welcomed into the kingdom of God.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 17, 2014, 08:23:25 PM
So this is what a walking stereotype of the nouveau riche looks like?

Stereotype of children of nouveau riche.
But I'm not spoiled and my parents don't want me to think we are rich. Parents: We are poor in spirit and that is all that matters. The rich that are not thankful and do not give to those less then themselves are not welcomed into the kingdom of God.


Just a hint then....


Don't tell a bunch of people on the internet that you spent more on sweaters than some of them make in a week.


Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Marc1152 on November 17, 2014, 08:30:37 PM
I think there should be no one on one dating until you are of an age when it is reasonable for you to get married.

Before then, you should see your friends in a group which can include both boys and girls.

But one on one dating is a form of "courtship".. You are exploring how compatible you are in terms of finding a wife or husband.

Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 17, 2014, 08:34:51 PM
I think there should be no one on one dating until you are of an age when it is reasonable for you to get married.

Before then, you should see your friends in a group which can include both boys and girls.

But one on one dating is a form of "courtship".. You are exploring how compatible you are in terms of finding a wife or husband.



I wonder how much you can really find out about the other person that would be relevant to marriage, without actually living together first. If that's out of bounds, might as well just have arranged marriages.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: yeshuaisiam on November 17, 2014, 08:39:26 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 17, 2014, 08:44:27 PM
My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

I would agree that a woman should have a say so in how she wants to live.  In context of old Judaism and the arranged marriages, I'm absolutely not comfortable with...  Biblical courtship with the daughter's father's permission sounds better.   Perfect situations of course vary and there are lots of variables in life.... The biblical headship I would see as a perfect thing.

I believe in biblical courtship.   Faith based courtship with the intent on finding a spouse.  So yes, I think in the way I see courtship dating more than one would be bad.

Which one?  Working for 14 years to get the right girl?  The courtship of Dinah in Schechem?  David and Batsheba post-Uriah?  Maybe Hosea and Gomer's courtship is a good example.

You say you believe in "biblical courtship".  What are some examples?

You keep saying it without providing any examples.  Did you and your wife have a biblical or faith-based courtship?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: SolEX01 on November 17, 2014, 09:00:46 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

Why not explain what you mean by 'biblical courtship?'  I don't think the Bible has any such examples.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Marc1152 on November 17, 2014, 11:02:29 PM
I think there should be no one on one dating until you are of an age when it is reasonable for you to get married.

Before then, you should see your friends in a group which can include both boys and girls.

But one on one dating is a form of "courtship".. You are exploring how compatible you are in terms of finding a wife or husband.



I wonder how much you can really find out about the other person that would be relevant to marriage, without actually living together first. If that's out of bounds, might as well just have arranged marriages.

I have done both. I lived with my first wife (deceased) for four years before we got married.

My second marriage was after I was Orthodox so no living together. Both ways worked fine.

Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 17, 2014, 11:46:51 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

Why not explain what you mean by 'biblical courtship?'  I don't think the Bible has any such examples.
You must be totally out of step with all the latest evangelical lingo.  That is when you date people but call it something else because the word "dating" is a bad word.  :P
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 17, 2014, 11:49:28 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school).  

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

Why not explain what you mean by 'biblical courtship?'  I don't think the Bible has any such examples.
You must be totally out of step with all the latest evangelical lingo.  That is when you date people but call it something else because the word "dating" is a bad word.  :P

I know the term was in vogue years ago, but now I only hear it when my wife watches 19 Kids and Counting.  From what I gather, it involves a lot of side hugs.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 17, 2014, 11:52:24 PM
Oh, I guess I'm getting old.  I remember when Joshua Harris was being considered for the title of "Modern Day Apostle to the Unmarried".
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: SolEX01 on November 17, 2014, 11:53:40 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

Why not explain what you mean by 'biblical courtship?'  I don't think the Bible has any such examples.
You must be totally out of step with all the latest evangelical lingo.  That is when you date people but call it something else because the word "dating" is a bad word.  :P

From where do the evangelicals derive the term?  Yesh isn't an evangelical and he hasn't explained why he uses the term.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Maria on November 17, 2014, 11:54:43 PM


Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Not only is the above true, but also men are more likely to encourage their live-in GF to have an abortion, which should be an immediate red flag. When God is out of the picture due to an ungodly relationship, then sin will abound.

If she were to give in to his pressure to abort, and have an abortion, he will probably dump her or force her into yet another abortion should she continue in that relationship. If she does not have an abortion, he might kill her, so that he would not have to pay child support.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 17, 2014, 11:58:38 PM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

Why not explain what you mean by 'biblical courtship?'  I don't think the Bible has any such examples.
You must be totally out of step with all the latest evangelical lingo.  That is when you date people but call it something else because the word "dating" is a bad word.  :P

From where do the evangelicals derive the term?  Yesh isn't an evangelical and he hasn't explained why he uses the term.

From Joshua Harris and his writings.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: SolEX01 on November 17, 2014, 11:59:03 PM


Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Not only is the above true, but also men are more likely to encourage their live-in GF to have an abortion, which should be an immediate red flag. When God is out of the picture due to an ungodly relationship, then sin will abound.

If she were to give in to his pressure to abort, and have an abortion, he will probably dump her or force her into yet another abortion should she continue in that relationship. If she does not have an abortion, he might kill her, so that he would not have to pay child support.

You didn't watch last Friday's 20/20 episode about women having sex with random men just to have a baby - no child support strings attached.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 12:01:11 AM
My parents were high school sweethearts who got married right when they turned 18. And despite all their problems, they're still married today. Don't let anyone tell you that your young relationships are meaningless and will never amount to anything.

Anyway, I dated when I was a Freshman and Sophomore. But it was with the same girl and it was only 3 or 4 times. It was fun but it was kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Many parents don't want their kids dating, although mine are a bit different in that they want me to date and be in a relationship or something. They get mad when I tell them I don't want to get married. I think they just want me to find a woman so I get out of the house more often.

My wife and I were married young.  We love it!  Being married has been an awesome experience! :)  We knew each other as well in High School (not the same school). 

I think it varies on personality type..... I dunno.  I won't prevent my children from being married "early" if they are mature about it.  I do believe in biblical courtship though.

Why not explain what you mean by 'biblical courtship?'  I don't think the Bible has any such examples.
You must be totally out of step with all the latest evangelical lingo.  That is when you date people but call it something else because the word "dating" is a bad word.  :P

From where do the evangelicals derive the term?  Yesh isn't an evangelical and he hasn't explained why he uses the term.
Amongst conservative non-denominational types, there was a book that came out in the 90's called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by an author Joshua Harris. That is where the whole "biblical courtship" craze started. I remember I was in college right around the time that book came out.  Tons of girls told their boyfriends that they couldn't date anymore or tried to figure how to transition their dating life to courtship. Of course, trying to have your father "mentor" you and your suitor while your in college ends up with a whole other level of complications. It caused all kinds of complications and widespread debates on my conservative Presbyterian college campus. Hilarity ensued for all four years of college. I would bet dollars to donuts that Yesh read Harris' book.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 18, 2014, 07:57:55 AM
I think there should be no one on one dating until you are of an age when it is reasonable for you to get married.

Before then, you should see your friends in a group which can include both boys and girls.

But one on one dating is a form of "courtship".. You are exploring how compatible you are in terms of finding a wife or husband.



I wonder how much you can really find out about the other person that would be relevant to marriage, without actually living together first. If that's out of bounds, might as well just have arranged marriages.

Considering that fornication is a sin, I'd say it should be out of bounds.

Arranged marriages should be brought back IMO as the cultures who still practice it still have the lowest divorce rates.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 18, 2014, 08:20:27 AM
Arranged marriages should be brought back IMO as the cultures who still practice it still have the lowest divorce rates.

Staying together because of social pressure all around is not the same as having a successful marriage.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 18, 2014, 09:19:36 AM
Arranged marriages should be brought back IMO as the cultures who still practice it still have the lowest divorce rates.

Staying together because of social pressure all around is not the same as having a successful marriage.

Judging from the results, the old system yielded better results, there's no disputing this.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 18, 2014, 09:32:31 AM
To sum up

Learn to be friendly and comfortable with girls before anything (but never let them make you "one of the girls"! That's friendzone for life!).

Go out in groups to start with.

Don't rush or force things just because of hormones or peer pressure, but don't follow advices of actively closing doors and windows against the possibility of something good and wonderful happenning early in life (don't count on that either!). Let God decide your life story for you.

And one more: since you have time and can afford it, learn some ballroom dance if you don't already know it.

It makes wonders to solve shyness issues towards approaching women and most girls love a man who can dance, *even if they don't know it yet*.

You should see which styles have classes in you area:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballroom_dance#Style_classification
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 10:11:39 AM
Arranged marriages should be brought back IMO as the cultures who still practice it still have the lowest divorce rates.

Staying together because of social pressure all around is not the same as having a successful marriage.
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 18, 2014, 10:17:54 AM
Arranged marriages should be brought back IMO as the cultures who still practice it still have the lowest divorce rates.

Staying together because of social pressure all around is not the same as having a successful marriage.
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 18, 2014, 10:23:26 AM
Arranged marriages should be brought back IMO as the cultures who still practice it still have the lowest divorce rates.

Staying together because of social pressure all around is not the same as having a successful marriage.
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 18, 2014, 10:25:12 AM
I think there should be no one on one dating until you are of an age when it is reasonable for you to get married.

Before then, you should see your friends in a group which can include both boys and girls.

But one on one dating is a form of "courtship".. You are exploring how compatible you are in terms of finding a wife or husband.



I wonder how much you can really find out about the other person that would be relevant to marriage, without actually living together first. If that's out of bounds, might as well just have arranged marriages.

I have done both. I lived with my first wife (deceased) for four years before we got married.

My second marriage was after I was Orthodox so no living together. Both ways worked fine.

Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Marc1152 on November 18, 2014, 10:43:42 AM
As a parent of a girl 18, a girl 21 and a boy 25 let me catch you up on how things roll these days at least around here.

They go out as a group. I have seen very very little "dating"  in the way I used to date in the Stone Age. I would ask a girl out, go to a movie and dinner. Often it would be at a restraint where many of our friends would hang out. Bowling was not out of the question.

Today, they go out six and seven of them at a time.. Only until much later do they get above water and form a close one on one relationship and ditch the crowd.They wait until they are more ready then we used to be to open their hearts.

There are exceptions of course. One girl my daughters age (21) "dated" an older man, a cop with children from another marriage as old as her.. She turned up pregnant but to his credit he married her and they just had their second child.... My daughter is on her first very serious boyfriend at age 21 and marriage would not be out of the question

He is 26 and a Phd grad student in engineering........She is going to his home for Thanksgiving to meet his parents........Thank god Thank God Thank God.....  :)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 18, 2014, 12:35:21 PM
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Nothing's impossible but yeah, certain situations yield lower success rates.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.

I agree that the "absolutely no divorce" policy is completely wrong, not to mention it isn't Scriptural. However there is a, surprisingly, more effective alternative to dealing with bad behaviour than the "stay and put up with it" and "get a divorce" options: Separation.

I don't mean legal separation, I mean: "So you wanna get drunk/get high/beat me/gamble/sleep around/watch porn/disappear/not work/squander our money? OK then get out of my house!" (Or you move out with the kids). To maximize the effectiveness of this method you wanna implement it as early as possible, the longer you put up with behaviour like this the less effective this method becomes and the longer it takes to be effective. Next you would tell all your family and friends and they should all shun your spouse once you've kicked them out. Then you tell your church and the elders kick him/her out of the church. This is how the Church is meant to deal with bad behaviour according to St. Paul, so that the perpetrator will come to repentance. Unbelievers are another matter but this behaviour is not to be found among Christians and those who tolerate it are only being enablers for the perpetrators.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

Firstly young and inexperienced people need not be stupid and naive, they can be wise if their parents raise them to be wise and if they honour their parents by listening to their counsel.

Secondly premarital sex is a sin according to both Scripture and Church Tradition. Western society has long relaxed restrictions on both cohabitation and premarital sex and western society has the highest divorce rate in the world (as you've already noted).

Thirdly the old way would be less frustrating for the young if the young are taught the truth about how to make marriage successful, starting with getting rid of the bogus soul-mate concept.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 18, 2014, 12:54:32 PM
The fewer people are involved in the matchmaking process, the better. Too many arranged marriages were, and still are, held together by nothing but pressure, so that their failure (which is nothing more and nothing less than two people's failure to communicate) may not reflect badly on those who arranged them.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 18, 2014, 01:02:49 PM
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Nothing's impossible but yeah, certain situations yield lower success rates.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.

I agree that the "absolutely no divorce" policy is completely wrong, not to mention it isn't Scriptural. However there is a, surprisingly, more effective alternative to dealing with bad behaviour than the "stay and put up with it" and "get a divorce" options: Separation.

I don't mean legal separation, I mean: "So you wanna get drunk/get high/beat me/gamble/sleep around/watch porn/disappear/not work/squander our money? OK then get out of my house!" (Or you move out with the kids). To maximize the effectiveness of this method you wanna implement it as early as possible, the longer you put up with behaviour like this the less effective this method becomes and the longer it takes to be effective. Next you would tell all your family and friends and they should all shun your spouse once you've kicked them out. Then you tell your church and the elders kick him/her out of the church. This is how the Church is meant to deal with bad behaviour according to St. Paul, so that the perpetrator will come to repentance. Unbelievers are another matter but this behaviour is not to be found among Christians and those who tolerate it are only being enablers for the perpetrators.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

Firstly young and inexperienced people need not be stupid and naive, they can be wise if their parents raise them to be wise and if they honour their parents by listening to their counsel.

Secondly premarital sex is a sin according to both Scripture and Church Tradition. Western society has long relaxed restrictions on both cohabitation and premarital sex and western society has the highest divorce rate in the world (as you've already noted).

Thirdly the old way would be less frustrating for the young if the young are taught the truth about how to make marriage successful, starting with getting rid of the bogus soul-mate concept.
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Marc1152 on November 18, 2014, 01:18:11 PM
I think there should be no one on one dating until you are of an age when it is reasonable for you to get married.

Before then, you should see your friends in a group which can include both boys and girls.

But one on one dating is a form of "courtship".. You are exploring how compatible you are in terms of finding a wife or husband.



I wonder how much you can really find out about the other person that would be relevant to marriage, without actually living together first. If that's out of bounds, might as well just have arranged marriages.

I have done both. I lived with my first wife (deceased) for four years before we got married.

My second marriage was after I was Orthodox so no living together. Both ways worked fine.

Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

When I hear some Orthodox condemn living together as always harmful I usually object. It worked well for us. But she had a strong personality and eventually opened up her calendar and told me to pick a date sometime before her 30th birthday.... I picked the day before.... Not a good move on my part BTW.

I have a co worker who has been living with the same man for many years who has a dominating personality.She is now 43. Her child bearing years are slipping away. She is very regretful that he wont marry her. She was strung along. Women have much more at stake in a mock marriage.

The Orthodox approach is not based on worldly concerns as much as it is based on spiritual progress.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 18, 2014, 01:18:14 PM
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Nothing's impossible but yeah, certain situations yield lower success rates.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.

I agree that the "absolutely no divorce" policy is completely wrong, not to mention it isn't Scriptural. However there is a, surprisingly, more effective alternative to dealing with bad behaviour than the "stay and put up with it" and "get a divorce" options: Separation.

I don't mean legal separation, I mean: "So you wanna get drunk/get high/beat me/gamble/sleep around/watch porn/disappear/not work/squander our money? OK then get out of my house!" (Or you move out with the kids). To maximize the effectiveness of this method you wanna implement it as early as possible, the longer you put up with behaviour like this the less effective this method becomes and the longer it takes to be effective. Next you would tell all your family and friends and they should all shun your spouse once you've kicked them out. Then you tell your church and the elders kick him/her out of the church. This is how the Church is meant to deal with bad behaviour according to St. Paul, so that the perpetrator will come to repentance. Unbelievers are another matter but this behaviour is not to be found among Christians and those who tolerate it are only being enablers for the perpetrators.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

Firstly young and inexperienced people need not be stupid and naive, they can be wise if their parents raise them to be wise and if they honour their parents by listening to their counsel.

Secondly premarital sex is a sin according to both Scripture and Church Tradition. Western society has long relaxed restrictions on both cohabitation and premarital sex and western society has the highest divorce rate in the world (as you've already noted).

Thirdly the old way would be less frustrating for the young if the young are taught the truth about how to make marriage successful, starting with getting rid of the bogus soul-mate concept.
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

Bogus soul-mate concept?

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 18, 2014, 01:24:45 PM
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Nothing's impossible but yeah, certain situations yield lower success rates.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.

I agree that the "absolutely no divorce" policy is completely wrong, not to mention it isn't Scriptural. However there is a, surprisingly, more effective alternative to dealing with bad behaviour than the "stay and put up with it" and "get a divorce" options: Separation.

I don't mean legal separation, I mean: "So you wanna get drunk/get high/beat me/gamble/sleep around/watch porn/disappear/not work/squander our money? OK then get out of my house!" (Or you move out with the kids). To maximize the effectiveness of this method you wanna implement it as early as possible, the longer you put up with behaviour like this the less effective this method becomes and the longer it takes to be effective. Next you would tell all your family and friends and they should all shun your spouse once you've kicked them out. Then you tell your church and the elders kick him/her out of the church. This is how the Church is meant to deal with bad behaviour according to St. Paul, so that the perpetrator will come to repentance. Unbelievers are another matter but this behaviour is not to be found among Christians and those who tolerate it are only being enablers for the perpetrators.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

Firstly young and inexperienced people need not be stupid and naive, they can be wise if their parents raise them to be wise and if they honour their parents by listening to their counsel.

Secondly premarital sex is a sin according to both Scripture and Church Tradition. Western society has long relaxed restrictions on both cohabitation and premarital sex and western society has the highest divorce rate in the world (as you've already noted).

Thirdly the old way would be less frustrating for the young if the young are taught the truth about how to make marriage successful, starting with getting rid of the bogus soul-mate concept.
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

Bogus soul-mate concept?

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.
Someone choosing my life mate is not what God choose. It is what a human chose.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 18, 2014, 01:30:50 PM
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

As much as I LOL'd at your exchange with Jonathan Gress there's actually a lot of truth to everything he said in that exchange.

I'll elaborate on the whole soul-mate nonsense later but question for you:

Would you be okay with arranged (not prearranged, there's a difference) marriage if you agreed with your parents choice? If you liked who they chose for you? The right way to do it is for them to let you make the ultimate decision.

Or you turn the tables and do what Samson did:

Quote
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 18, 2014, 01:38:25 PM
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Nothing's impossible but yeah, certain situations yield lower success rates.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.

I agree that the "absolutely no divorce" policy is completely wrong, not to mention it isn't Scriptural. However there is a, surprisingly, more effective alternative to dealing with bad behaviour than the "stay and put up with it" and "get a divorce" options: Separation.

I don't mean legal separation, I mean: "So you wanna get drunk/get high/beat me/gamble/sleep around/watch porn/disappear/not work/squander our money? OK then get out of my house!" (Or you move out with the kids). To maximize the effectiveness of this method you wanna implement it as early as possible, the longer you put up with behaviour like this the less effective this method becomes and the longer it takes to be effective. Next you would tell all your family and friends and they should all shun your spouse once you've kicked them out. Then you tell your church and the elders kick him/her out of the church. This is how the Church is meant to deal with bad behaviour according to St. Paul, so that the perpetrator will come to repentance. Unbelievers are another matter but this behaviour is not to be found among Christians and those who tolerate it are only being enablers for the perpetrators.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

Firstly young and inexperienced people need not be stupid and naive, they can be wise if their parents raise them to be wise and if they honour their parents by listening to their counsel.

Secondly premarital sex is a sin according to both Scripture and Church Tradition. Western society has long relaxed restrictions on both cohabitation and premarital sex and western society has the highest divorce rate in the world (as you've already noted).

Thirdly the old way would be less frustrating for the young if the young are taught the truth about how to make marriage successful, starting with getting rid of the bogus soul-mate concept.
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

Bogus soul-mate concept?

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.
Someone choosing my life mate is not what God choose. It is what a human chose.

Well that's just a truism. It's like saying that if you choose your own mate it's "just a human" choice. The real issue is this: can you tell whether someone will be a good lifelong match simply after a few weeks or months of courtship? There's a romantic idea that when you meet "the one", you'll just know. Now, I think that can happen from time to time, but it's not a guarantee. There are many cases where high school sweethearts fall in love and marry, but later on find they aren't a good fit. On the others side, often in a culture with arranged marriages you'll hear about how couples come to love each other, showing that their elders made wise choices even if the couple didn't realize this at first.

I like the idea of trying to bring up your children to understand who the best choice will be, while leaving it up to them. But it's worth noting that letting the young choose their own spouses was not always the norm, not even in Orthodox countries. Maybe rather than arranged marriages, which imply a lack of choice on the part of the couple, active matchmaking is a better concept. Parents, priests and other elders of the community ought to be good at finding prospective spouses, but the ultimate choice has to be left up to the ones getting married. But if you have no matchmaker, at least get your parents and priest's advice about who you date.

I don't think there's a panacea in all this. Whatever system you choose will not make everyone happy. I think at the least the numbers show that having relations with more than one person before marriage is associated with increased divorce rate, so there's definitely something behind the traditional prohibition on premarital relations. Whether arranged marriages themselves are the best way is another matter.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 18, 2014, 02:29:03 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage" 

LOL. 

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different. 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 18, 2014, 02:29:07 PM
Being a single mom on ChristianMingle.com desperately trying to find a guy who will date you and your 3 kids is also a bad option though.

Nothing's impossible but yeah, certain situations yield lower success rates.

Putting up with serial infidelity or absenteeism is par for the course. If you're gonna go it alone anyway, you might as well be officially single, whether you're looking or not.

Or domestic abuse. These are the situations that show how the absolute no-divorce policy is completely wrong.

I agree that the "absolutely no divorce" policy is completely wrong, not to mention it isn't Scriptural. However there is a, surprisingly, more effective alternative to dealing with bad behaviour than the "stay and put up with it" and "get a divorce" options: Separation.

I don't mean legal separation, I mean: "So you wanna get drunk/get high/beat me/gamble/sleep around/watch porn/disappear/not work/squander our money? OK then get out of my house!" (Or you move out with the kids). To maximize the effectiveness of this method you wanna implement it as early as possible, the longer you put up with behaviour like this the less effective this method becomes and the longer it takes to be effective. Next you would tell all your family and friends and they should all shun your spouse once you've kicked them out. Then you tell your church and the elders kick him/her out of the church. This is how the Church is meant to deal with bad behaviour according to St. Paul, so that the perpetrator will come to repentance. Unbelievers are another matter but this behaviour is not to be found among Christians and those who tolerate it are only being enablers for the perpetrators.

With the latter, Orthodox marriage, I suspect you had the advantage of a previous marriage and greater age and maturity all round, so you could probably tell that your future wife was a good prospect. When you're young and inexperienced and stupid and naive, basically the only thing you have to go on is you find your prospective partner really attractive. It makes sense that, if society wants to promote stable marriages, either it will encourage elders to make more informed choices on your behalf, or society will relax the restrictions on cohabitation and premarital sex and allow you to "try out" different partners before finding "the one". The latter approach seems to be associated with higher divorce rates, though, so the old way is probably best, even if more frustrating for the young.

Firstly young and inexperienced people need not be stupid and naive, they can be wise if their parents raise them to be wise and if they honour their parents by listening to their counsel.

Secondly premarital sex is a sin according to both Scripture and Church Tradition. Western society has long relaxed restrictions on both cohabitation and premarital sex and western society has the highest divorce rate in the world (as you've already noted).

Thirdly the old way would be less frustrating for the young if the young are taught the truth about how to make marriage successful, starting with getting rid of the bogus soul-mate concept.
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

Bogus soul-mate concept?

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.
Someone choosing my life mate is not what God choose. It is what a human chose.

Well that's just a truism. It's like saying that if you choose your own mate it's "just a human" choice. The real issue is this: can you tell whether someone will be a good lifelong match simply after a few weeks or months of courtship? There's a romantic idea that when you meet "the one", you'll just know. Now, I think that can happen from time to time, but it's not a guarantee. There are many cases where high school sweethearts fall in love and marry, but later on find they aren't a good fit. On the others side, often in a culture with arranged marriages you'll hear about how couples come to love each other, showing that their elders made wise choices even if the couple didn't realize this at first.

I like the idea of trying to bring up your children to understand who the best choice will be, while leaving it up to them. But it's worth noting that letting the young choose their own spouses was not always the norm, not even in Orthodox countries. Maybe rather than arranged marriages, which imply a lack of choice on the part of the couple, active matchmaking is a better concept. Parents, priests and other elders of the community ought to be good at finding prospective spouses, but the ultimate choice has to be left up to the ones getting married. But if you have no matchmaker, at least get your parents and priest's advice about who you date.

I don't think there's a panacea in all this. Whatever system you choose will not make everyone happy. I think at the least the numbers show that having relations with more than one person before marriage is associated with increased divorce rate, so there's definitely something behind the traditional prohibition on premarital relations. Whether arranged marriages themselves are the best way is another matter.

The point is that there is no risk-free option. Love includes putting yourself in a position that is to some degree vulnerable. And people freak out about that. Do your best. Don't give up for anything less serious then your partner somehow becoming an aggressor (physical, social, psychological or spiritual). That is what I understand adultery to mean. It is far more than just sexual cheating. It's to pervert the relation somehow, twisting it to be something evil instead of good. Sexual cheating is just one of the ways of doing it.

If things go really wrong do not compromise yourself or your children. Seek help and get away. When we enter a dead-end alley the only way of going ahead is by going back.

The idea that people were happier when parents and matchmakers made the choices for them sounds like romanticizing the past to me. Some people were happy, some lived miserable lives because there was no other option and they had to live with a person they did not love or maybe even despised.

The advantage of choosing yourself is that, whatever happen, you won't be able to blame your parents or the matchmaker.

Our current promiscuity has less to do with us being able to choose and more with the fact that we *don't* want to choose and want to try everything. Being forced to take a person by parents or society wouldn't make it any better.

Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 18, 2014, 02:34:21 PM
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

As much as I LOL'd at your exchange with Jonathan Gress there's actually a lot of truth to everything he said in that exchange.

I'll elaborate on the whole soul-mate nonsense later but question for you:

Would you be okay with arranged (not prearranged, there's a difference) marriage if you agreed with your parents choice? If you liked who they chose for you? The right way to do it is for them to let you make the ultimate decision.

Or you turn the tables and do what Samson did:

Quote
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205

Asking parents for advice or their help as "wingmen" is ok if you're not awkward with that. Actually, sometimes you may get to the other person's heart by "conquering" his/her parents first. Caution: it only works if the person tends to like what his/her parents like. It may lead to "adopted-siblingzone" in other contexts.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 02:36:45 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage" 

LOL. 

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different. 
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Theophania on November 18, 2014, 02:37:18 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage" 

LOL. 

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different. 
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

 >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 18, 2014, 02:38:43 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage" 

LOL. 

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different. 
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

Unless you're into necromancy, I only have one parent. 















Awkward, huh? 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 02:58:25 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage"  

LOL.  

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different.  
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

 >:( >:( >:(
I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 18, 2014, 03:27:26 PM
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

As much as I LOL'd at your exchange with Jonathan Gress there's actually a lot of truth to everything he said in that exchange.

I'll elaborate on the whole soul-mate nonsense later but question for you:

Would you be okay with arranged (not prearranged, there's a difference) marriage if you agreed with your parents choice? If you liked who they chose for you? The right way to do it is for them to let you make the ultimate decision.

Or you turn the tables and do what Samson did:

Quote
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205
None. I want to find my own wife that I truly love.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 18, 2014, 03:29:20 PM
My parents what type of woman would be best.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 18, 2014, 03:29:30 PM
We all have our true love. Prearranged marriage is not okay in my eyes

As much as I LOL'd at your exchange with Jonathan Gress there's actually a lot of truth to everything he said in that exchange.

I'll elaborate on the whole soul-mate nonsense later but question for you:

Would you be okay with arranged (not prearranged, there's a difference) marriage if you agreed with your parents choice? If you liked who they chose for you? The right way to do it is for them to let you make the ultimate decision.

Or you turn the tables and do what Samson did:

Quote
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205
None. I want to find my own wife that I truly love.

+1
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 18, 2014, 06:38:54 PM
I meant "My parents tell me what type of woman would be best." Sorry for the confusion :laugh:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: biro on November 18, 2014, 07:34:17 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage"  

LOL.  

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different.  
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

 >:( >:( >:(
I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

Huh?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 18, 2014, 08:06:06 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage"  

LOL.  

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different.  
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

 >:( >:( >:(
I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

Huh?

What he means is you have no sense of humor.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 08:54:40 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage"  

LOL.  

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different.  
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

 >:( >:( >:(
I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

Huh?
Don't judge me. Its a lifestyle choice.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: biro on November 18, 2014, 09:05:23 PM
"Girlfriends in 9th grade" --> "arranged marriage"  

LOL.  

Who here comes from a culture where arranged marriages are at least as normal as finding one's own spouse?  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I know I do, and when viewed up close and not through some third party literature of varying degrees of scholarship, well, it's different.  
You are just mad because I submitted a request to your parents to take you as my second wife and they accepted.  Speaking of which, can you iron my pants, hon?  They were a bit wrinkly when wife #1 took them out of the dryer.

 >:( >:( >:(
I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

Huh?

What he means is you have no sense of humor.

I don't think that's what he meant.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 18, 2014, 09:07:34 PM
Not everyone is paying attention to the love quadrangle going on around here.....so the inside jokes fly over heads quite easily. 


regardless of ones fantastic sense of humor.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 09:08:43 PM
Not everyone is paying attention to the love quadrangle going on around here.....so the inside jokes fly over heads quite easily. 


regardless of ones fantastic sense of humor.
Its a quadrangle now?  Who all is in now?  I have a hard time keeping track.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 18, 2014, 09:12:24 PM
Not everyone is paying attention to the love quadrangle going on around here.....so the inside jokes fly over heads quite easily. 


regardless of ones fantastic sense of humor.
Its a quadrangle now?  Who all is in now?  I have a hard time keeping track.

Well.....per your own comment above...



I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

That makes it....you, your wife (who will someday kill you in your sleep for posting this sort of nonsense), Man-Wife#2- Mor, and Wife #3 Kelly....who appears to just be in the whole deal for the Man-Wife....

Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 09:16:04 PM
Not everyone is paying attention to the love quadrangle going on around here.....so the inside jokes fly over heads quite easily.  


regardless of ones fantastic sense of humor.
Its a quadrangle now?  Who all is in now?  I have a hard time keeping track.

Well.....per your own comment above...



I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

That makes it....you, your wife (who will someday kill you in your sleep for posting this sort of nonsense), Man-Wife#2- Mor, and Wife #3 Kelly....who appears to just be in the whole deal for the Man-Wife....


If only my wife had any idea of the things she gets brought into on this board...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 18, 2014, 09:16:37 PM

I can't tell if you are mad because I took Mor away from you or if you are mad that I didn't take you to be wife #2.  Maybe its both. Have your people call my people and maybe we can squeeze you in at wife #3. Then man-wife #2 and wife #3 could have a sub-marriage that we will call marriage 2.5

That makes it....you, your wife (who will someday kill you in your sleep for posting this sort of nonsense), Man-Wife#2- Mor, and Wife #3 Kelly....who appears to just be in the whole deal for the Man-Wife....



The plot thickens...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 18, 2014, 10:30:45 PM
If only my wife had any idea of the things she gets brought into on this board...

Grow up, Tri. You're a married man.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 18, 2014, 10:32:33 PM
If only my wife had any idea of the things she gets brought into on this board...

Grow up, Tri. You're a married man.
:-*
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Theophania on November 18, 2014, 10:58:14 PM
If only my wife had any idea of the things she gets brought into on this board...

Grow up, Tri. You're a married man.
:-*

So much dissipation.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 01:36:36 AM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
(http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/Themes/Pascha2010/images/warnwarn.gif) 
This is the ORTHODOX Family board, and you should know better than advocate practices inconsistent with the Orthodox point of view. It's not the first time you've done it. 30 days warning as incentive to take a hint.

~Arachne, Section Moderator~
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 01:44:19 AM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 19, 2014, 02:07:42 AM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.

When arranging marriages, no family's top priority is "picking out the one and only man/woman their child/sibling/cousin/nephew/niece will ever get to make love to".  There's often one relative who has such things in mind, but he's typically an uncle and a pervert, and you seem to want to be "that guy". 

He is usually dealt with efficiently enough. 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 19, 2014, 02:10:41 AM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.

Soundtrack. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djU4Lq_5EaM)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: PeterTheAleut on November 19, 2014, 04:10:05 AM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
Opinions With No Experience, Dude. (IOW, OWNED. :laugh:)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 19, 2014, 06:06:51 AM
Opinions With No Experience, Dude. (IOW, OWNED. :laugh:)

And precious little risk chance of acquiring any. :laugh:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 06:08:45 AM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.
And then you say brunette would be unacceptable? That means if you meet a brunette and you had a friendship and she was the one you wouldn't go further??
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 06:09:37 AM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
Who said I'm signing a prenup?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 19, 2014, 06:10:19 AM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.
And then you say brunette would be unacceptable? That means if you meet a brunette and you had a friendship and she was the one you wouldn't go further??

James only goes for dumb blondes. He's picky like that.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 19, 2014, 06:22:59 AM
Bogus soul-mate concept?

Yes it's bogus, it comes from Greek mythology: the ancient Greeks believed that humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 heads (or 1 head with 2 faces), basically we looked like cockroaches. Then we made some demi god angry and he split us in half, so part of our punishment is to wonder the world searching for our "other half". I don't believe that at any point in time human beings ever looked like cockroaches, mythology is fairy tales, it's BS.

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

God does not arrange everything. God is our Father not our mother, He doesn't do everything for us, if He did we'll be babies forever, we'll never grow and we'll never mature. Too many Christians seem to think that divine providence = being spoon fed. If you're waiting for God to send you the "perfect mate" just for you, chances are you're gonna be single until the day you die.

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.

Suppose X is widowed at a young age, does that mean that she can't have a successful marriage with another man because the first husband was "the one"? The soul-mate concept supposes she can't, because he's not her "one true love". Suppose X and Y were unbelievers when they married and at some point in the marriage Y decided to become a Christian but X didn't want to convert. According to the soul-mate concept X can't possibly be "the one" for Y, so should the Church demand Y to immediately divorce X as a result?

The principles of Christian marriage (love, patience, forgiveness, ect.) are so powerful that you can stick any two people from anywhere in the world together and their marriage will work if they abide by those principles. For that reason God doesn't need to be anyone's matchmaker and I don't see any instance of God playing matchmaker anywhere in the Bible, instead I see stuff like this:

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205

The only requirement for God to approve of the marriage, according to St. Paul, is that the person you marry is also a believer in Christ (i.e. willing to abide by the principles), otherwise it's your choice, everything else is fair game when making this choice. And even in the arranged marriage scenario it's supposed to be the couple's choice ultimately, your parents and church elders simply just round up some options for you to choose from based on what they know about you and the other person.

That said once you've made your choice you stick to your choice, something you'll need to remind yourself of when you're having problems and start wondering about getting a divorce cause you didn't marry "the one". News flash: he/she is "the one" cause you made him/her "the one" when you married him/her. There's always "someone better", wondering about "what ifs" is natural but it doesn't matter cause you made a promise to God and He expects you to keep that promise.

Marriage is difficult, it's not for the lazy or the selfish. The soul-mate concept drips of self-centred narcissism because it supposes that marriage is easy if you're with the right person cause you won't have to do much to make it work.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 19, 2014, 06:32:32 AM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.

"Where da white wimmin at?" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 19, 2014, 07:14:17 AM
3) No sex. That's one that is difficult to realize, but the point is that when we get sexually involved, everything in the person seems much better. There's a saying to never trust a "I love you" said in bed, specially if it's you who's saying it and although it's an exageration, it gets the spirit of it. Lovers see everything with "desire's eyes" and that's how so many girls end up with messed up men, and vice-versa. *But* do not make the mistake of thinking that your girl will be one you have no sexual desire for. Sexual desire has to be part of it, it's just not the *main* part of it.

Now this is 100% true. Sex makes people stupid, and it's supposed to. It is so much easier to put up with someone else's cr!p if you're sleeping with them, sadly that often includes cr!p no one should ever tolerate. It's almost impossible for a man and a woman live together without killing each other if they're not having sex. One of my male friends told me quite bluntly: "Don't complain about our insanely high sex drive, be grateful for it, cause if it weren't for that, trust me, none of us would ever put up with any of you!"
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 19, 2014, 07:35:09 AM
So you shouldn't love your spouse? That doesn't make sense. Love needs to be made before marriage.

No dude, love isn't to be made until the wedding night.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 19, 2014, 09:39:36 AM
Bogus soul-mate concept?

Yes it's bogus, it comes from Greek mythology: the ancient Greeks believed that humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 heads (or 1 head with 2 faces), basically we looked like cockroaches. Then we made some demi god angry and he split us in half, so part of our punishment is to wonder the world searching for our "other half". I don't believe that at any point in time human beings ever looked like cockroaches, mythology is fairy tales, it's BS.

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

God does not arrange everything. God is our Father not our mother, He doesn't do everything for us, if He did we'll be babies forever, we'll never grow and we'll never mature. Too many Christians seem to think that divine providence = being spoon fed. If you're waiting for God to send you the "perfect mate" just for you, chances are you're gonna be single until the day you die.

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.

Suppose X is widowed at a young age, does that mean that she can't have a successful marriage with another man because the first husband was "the one"? The soul-mate concept supposes she can't, because he's not her "one true love". Suppose X and Y were unbelievers when they married and at some point in the marriage Y decided to become a Christian but X didn't want to convert. According to the soul-mate concept X can't possibly be "the one" for Y, so should the Church demand Y to immediately divorce X as a result?

The principles of Christian marriage (love, patience, forgiveness, ect.) are so powerful that you can stick any two people from anywhere in the world together and their marriage will work if they abide by those principles. For that reason God doesn't need to be anyone's matchmaker and I don't see any instance of God playing matchmaker anywhere in the Bible, instead I see stuff like this:

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205

The only requirement for God to approve of the marriage, according to St. Paul, is that the person you marry is also a believer in Christ (i.e. willing to abide by the principles), otherwise it's your choice, everything else is fair game when making this choice. And even in the arranged marriage scenario it's supposed to be the couple's choice ultimately, your parents and church elders simply just round up some options for you to choose from based on what they know about you and the other person.

That said once you've made your choice you stick to your choice, something you'll need to remind yourself of when you're having problems and start wondering about getting a divorce cause you didn't marry "the one". News flash: he/she is "the one" cause you made him/her "the one" when you married him/her. There's always "someone better", wondering about "what ifs" is natural but it doesn't matter cause you made a promise to God and He expects you to keep that promise.

Marriage is difficult, it's not for the lazy or the selfish. The soul-mate concept drips of self-centred narcissism because it supposes that marriage is easy if you're with the right person cause you won't have to do much to make it work.

That is a strawman. It's like saying that since 400 years ago people believed that fully formed microscopic human beings were generated in men and just seeded into a woman's womb through sex, and today we know that's wrong, so sex has nothing to do with reproduction.

As for God's Providence, it *is* about every single sub-atomic detail of our lives:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? and not one of them shall fall on the ground without your Father:
but the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

St. Matthew 10:29-30

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
And not a hair of your head shall perish.
In your patience ye shall win your souls.

St. Luke 21:17-19

God *does* assign every good circumstance in our lives. Now, that does not entail laziness. We believe in sinergy, coparticipation. God gives but we have to work with Him to make it work.

God has assigned each and everyone of us for salvation. He gives every one every needed detailed support to achieve that. But He doesn't just say "Abracadabra!" and turns us into saints. We have to work and strugle for that.

Marriage and ordination are similar in that regard. Of course God's Providence assigns a certain community or a certain parish for the priest. Of course God's Providence assigns a certain spouse for each of us who gets married. *And* we have to strugle, every single day, to make it work, because God's Providence is not, before the final times, coercetive. It gives us space so we become coparticipants.

So, it is a real spiritual responsibility to be open to meet the person to who you were assigned and who was assigned to you, just as it is to answer God's calling and vocation in everything else. We can mess this up just like we can mess up other spiritual things. And God will have mercy if we repent and give us another chance again and again. But just like there is a point of no return - the notorious sin against the Holy Spirit - if we sin against the Holy Spirit through our indiference or pride regarding the persons we have relationships with, that *can* and *will* lead us to hell.

Serial monogamy is the most widespread sexual sin in our society, not even identified as such and the open gate through which all the others are legitimized. One of its basis is precisely missing that God's Providence is everywhere. It's not a matter if we have to "discover" *OR* if we have to "build" our spousal relationship. It's both, it's synergetic, coparticipative.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 19, 2014, 11:10:58 AM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.

"Where da white wimmin at?" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M)

 :laugh:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 12:54:24 PM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.

"Where da white wimmin at?" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M)

 :laugh:
I thought that video was real for a second there.  :laugh: :laugh: Too young to know these old movie people.  ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: PeterTheAleut on November 19, 2014, 01:02:18 PM
Bogus soul-mate concept?

Yes it's bogus, it comes from Greek mythology: the ancient Greeks believed that humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 heads (or 1 head with 2 faces), basically we looked like cockroaches. Then we made some demi god angry and he split us in half, so part of our punishment is to wonder the world searching for our "other half". I don't believe that at any point in time human beings ever looked like cockroaches, mythology is fairy tales, it's BS.

So you have faith that God's providence works in everything in your life, to provide the best for your salvation, except in the case of who you are to marry? God arranges everything for our best, but not in the area most important for the formation of a family?

God does not arrange everything. God is our Father not our mother, He doesn't do everything for us, if He did we'll be babies forever, we'll never grow and we'll never mature. Too many Christians seem to think that divine providence = being spoon fed. If you're waiting for God to send you the "perfect mate" just for you, chances are you're gonna be single until the day you die.

I can agree that we have a fake romanticism ingrained by movies, books and songs. That is to be avoided. But I can't see how one can not trust God to provide things so that X and Y were meant for each other for their own path towards salvation. And that may or may not include parental intervention.

Suppose X is widowed at a young age, does that mean that she can't have a successful marriage with another man because the first husband was "the one"? The soul-mate concept supposes she can't, because he's not her "one true love". Suppose X and Y were unbelievers when they married and at some point in the marriage Y decided to become a Christian but X didn't want to convert. According to the soul-mate concept X can't possibly be "the one" for Y, so should the Church demand Y to immediately divorce X as a result?

The principles of Christian marriage (love, patience, forgiveness, ect.) are so powerful that you can stick any two people from anywhere in the world together and their marriage will work if they abide by those principles. For that reason God doesn't need to be anyone's matchmaker and I don't see any instance of God playing matchmaker anywhere in the Bible, instead I see stuff like this:

http://www.orthodoxchristianity.net/forum/index.php/topic,61924.msg1212205.html#msg1212205

The only requirement for God to approve of the marriage, according to St. Paul, is that the person you marry is also a believer in Christ (i.e. willing to abide by the principles), otherwise it's your choice, everything else is fair game when making this choice. And even in the arranged marriage scenario it's supposed to be the couple's choice ultimately, your parents and church elders simply just round up some options for you to choose from based on what they know about you and the other person.

That said once you've made your choice you stick to your choice, something you'll need to remind yourself of when you're having problems and start wondering about getting a divorce cause you didn't marry "the one". News flash: he/she is "the one" cause you made him/her "the one" when you married him/her. There's always "someone better", wondering about "what ifs" is natural but it doesn't matter cause you made a promise to God and He expects you to keep that promise.

Marriage is difficult, it's not for the lazy or the selfish. The soul-mate concept drips of self-centred narcissism because it supposes that marriage is easy if you're with the right person cause you won't have to do much to make it work.

That is a strawman. It's like saying that since 400 years ago people believed that fully formed microscopic human beings were generated in men and just seeded into a woman's womb through sex, and today we know that's wrong, so sex has nothing to do with reproduction.

As for God's Providence, it *is* about every single sub-atomic detail of our lives:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? and not one of them shall fall on the ground without your Father:
but the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

St. Matthew 10:29-30

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
And not a hair of your head shall perish.
In your patience ye shall win your souls.

St. Luke 21:17-19

God *does* assign every good circumstance in our lives. Now, that does not entail laziness. We believe in sinergy, coparticipation. God gives but we have to work with Him to make it work.

God has assigned each and everyone of us for salvation. He gives every one every needed detailed support to achieve that. But He doesn't just say "Abracadabra!" and turns us into saints. We have to work and strugle for that.

Marriage and ordination are similar in that regard. Of course God's Providence assigns a certain community or a certain parish for the priest. Of course God's Providence assigns a certain spouse for each of us who gets married. *And* we have to strugle, every single day, to make it work, because God's Providence is not, before the final times, coercetive. It gives us space so we become coparticipants.

So, it is a real spiritual responsibility to be open to meet the person to who you were assigned and who was assigned to you, just as it is to answer God's calling and vocation in everything else. We can mess this up just like we can mess up other spiritual things. And God will have mercy if we repent and give us another chance again and again. But just like there is a point of no return - the notorious sin against the Holy Spirit - if we sin against the Holy Spirit through our indiference or pride regarding the persons we have relationships with, that *can* and *will* lead us to hell.

Serial monogamy is the most widespread sexual sin in our society, not even identified as such and the open gate through which all the others are legitimized. One of its basis is precisely missing that God's Providence is everywhere. It's not a matter if we have to "discover" *OR* if we have to "build" our spousal relationship. It's both, it's synergetic, coparticipative.
Where does Tradition teach the notion that God assigns to each person a mate?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 19, 2014, 01:32:51 PM
Where does Tradition teach the notion that God assigns to each person a mate?

Let me rephrase your question: where does Tradition makes an exception for God's Providence out of marital relations ?

God cares more about the hairs on your head than about providing that two people actually have a mission together?

God provides everything needed to those with a vocation to celibacy, but to those with a vocation to married life He will provide everything *except* said spouse?

To make of marital relations an exception to God's providence is just a poor excuse to justify our current sinful cultural model of empirical serial monogamy as legitimate.

And, when Adam complained about feeling lonely, God provided him with a specific person. He could have created 3 more men and four women out of Adam and let them try, experiment and choose. He did not. “This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh". That's the relation of the two people who are assigned to each other. It does not mean they are destined to be together, or that it won't require strugle to be together, no less then we are destined to heaven, or less strugle than to acquire the Kingdom. But that these two stayed together and that we went to Heaven is surely what would please God more.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 19, 2014, 01:44:15 PM
People are right when they think that it's wrong to think that God would coerce two people to be together. But they are equally wrong to think that God would not provide for that.

This should not be a problem for us Orthodox who believe in synergy. God acts and we act with him. God is always acting to bring us to salvation and should act along with Him for that. God provides a spouse for those He calls to a married life, but the two will have to work together to make it happen.

And obviously, He does not provide "now", being atemporal and eternal.

He acts now, but this "match" was thought of pre-eternally, not as a coercion, but as an invitation - just like everything God wants to give us, He doesn't force it onto us, He just asks: here is my gift to you, will you accept it? Here's the match that I intended for you two, do you accept it?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 19, 2014, 01:47:09 PM
I've come across lots of references to parents promising their children to monasticism in return for some favor. And we baptize our children without asking their consent. Consent certainly doesn't seem the be all and end all.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Fabio Leite on November 19, 2014, 01:56:12 PM
I've come across lots of references to parents promising their children to monasticism in return for some favor. And we baptize our children without asking their consent. Consent certainly doesn't seem the be all and end all.

In the Annunciation it was.

Frankly, where, in anyone's spiritual life, does anyone see God *force* anyone into anything? God clearly thinks that *free-choice* is the *only* thing that make any option in life, heaven or hell, legitimate.

Sometimes, like with Paul or Moses, He may appear to clarify in their minds something that was already going on in their hearts. But He did not force any of them. We see other figures like Judas or Saul where God's invitation was clearly refused.

And knowing how keen of parallels the writers of the Scriptures are, they certainly did not miss that the Saul of the Old Testament persecuted David to the end of his life and thus deserved death, and the Saul of the New Testament who likewise was persecuting the Son of David, repented of his actions and because of that received life and was exalted above many kings of the world.

The fact is that we live in an anti-personhood culture. To think that God will provide some woman to perform a certain role in my life sounds ok, but to think that He provided specifically Beth, or Jen or Mary and that we are failing our vocation to married life by not being with that specific person sounds terrifying.

 We *hate* having to love concrete persons and the next best thing is to love "roles" and anyone who performs the role well is then tangentially loved - while the person stays "in-character" of course.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 19, 2014, 04:57:31 PM
That is a strawman. It's like saying that since 400 years ago people believed that fully formed microscopic human beings were generated in men and just seeded into a woman's womb through sex, and today we know that's wrong, so sex has nothing to do with reproduction.

As for God's Providence, it *is* about every single sub-atomic detail of our lives:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? and not one of them shall fall on the ground without your Father:
but the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

St. Matthew 10:29-30

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
And not a hair of your head shall perish.
In your patience ye shall win your souls.

St. Luke 21:17-19

God *does* assign every good circumstance in our lives. Now, that does not entail laziness. We believe in sinergy, coparticipation. God gives but we have to work with Him to make it work.

God has assigned each and everyone of us for salvation. He gives every one every needed detailed support to achieve that. But He doesn't just say "Abracadabra!" and turns us into saints. We have to work and strugle for that.

Marriage and ordination are similar in that regard. Of course God's Providence assigns a certain community or a certain parish for the priest. Of course God's Providence assigns a certain spouse for each of us who gets married. *And* we have to strugle, every single day, to make it work, because God's Providence is not, before the final times, coercetive. It gives us space so we become coparticipants.

So, it is a real spiritual responsibility to be open to meet the person to who you were assigned and who was assigned to you, just as it is to answer God's calling and vocation in everything else. We can mess this up just like we can mess up other spiritual things. And God will have mercy if we repent and give us another chance again and again. But just like there is a point of no return - the notorious sin against the Holy Spirit - if we sin against the Holy Spirit through our indiference or pride regarding the persons we have relationships with, that *can* and *will* lead us to hell.

Serial monogamy is the most widespread sexual sin in our society, not even identified as such and the open gate through which all the others are legitimized. One of its basis is precisely missing that God's Providence is everywhere. It's not a matter if we have to "discover" *OR* if we have to "build" our spousal relationship. It's both, it's synergetic, coparticipative.

What you're describing here actually differs to how most describe the concept of a soul-mate.

OK I'll cut you a break, there is an example of what you're saying in Scripture, that being the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah, which was technically an arranged marriage. While the hand of God is pretty evident in that union, Abraham was the one who instigated it, and he clearly told his servant to go to his relatives to find a wife to Isaac, so Abraham had some specifics in mind for his son.

However this is different to sitting at home and waiting for God to send you "the one". There are lots of Christians who refuse to date because they're waiting for God to send them the "perfect mate" for them. Um, not gonna happen, God works through people and likes to work with people who are proactive.

Where does Tradition teach the notion that God assigns to each person a mate?

I was wondering that myself, I'm far from an expert on the writings of the Fathers but I don't remember seeing this idea in their writings. I don't recall seeing it in Jewish tradition either. So this soul-mate concept has no support in Scripture, Church Tradition or Jewish tradition. It's a pagan concept that is rooted in pagan mythology. I don't see any use for this concept for Christian singles who want to find a spouse. There are lots of good Christian singles out there who are willing to abide by the principles of Christian marriage: find them, meet them, then pick one of them to marry (if they agree). (Considering you'll be living and sleeping with this person for the rest of your life, pick the one you find the most attractive out of the ones you find the least irritating). But stop waiting for God to send you that "special someone" if that's what you're doing, there is no "special someone" cause you're not special either.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 05:02:19 PM
The book of Tobit seems to imply that at least in some cases, God does provide and preordain a spouse for certain people. I wouldn't extrapolate it to refer to everyone who gets married, but given that God preordains some to monasticism, is it really that hard to believe that He may do the same thing--at least in some cases--regarding marriage?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 05:06:11 PM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.
And then you say brunette would be unacceptable? That means if you meet a brunette and you had a friendship and she was the one you wouldn't go further??

James only goes for dumb blondes. He's picky like that.

This. I just prefer blonde women. I know that stereotyping based on hair color is idiotic, but I find blonde women not only more attractive, but usually kinder and having a better attitude. Regardless, I guess I'm saying that while arranged marriage may have its perks, leaving one of the biggest decisions in your entire life to the hands of someone else seems unhealthy. While I think family should play a bigger part in relationships and marriages than they do, arranged marriage seems a little over the top.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Randa on November 19, 2014, 05:16:57 PM
Beware, not all of us blondes are the real deal  :police:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 05:31:38 PM
Beware, not all of us blondes are the real deal  :police:

Oh I can spot a fake blonde from a mile away. Still more preferable to me than brunettes, but not quite as desirable as natural blondes. While I don't think physical attraction should be the ultimate and/or only quality to look for in a spouse, it should probably be one of the main criterias given that you only get married once (ideally).
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 05:48:34 PM
As for that arranged marriage garbage, I wouldn't want my mother picking out the one and only woman I'll ever get to make love to. What if she picks a brunette? That's unacceptable. And as a big brother, I wouldn't want to have to pick that man for my little sister someday. Too weird. I just think families need to be more supportive of marriages so that maybe people will be less inclined to divorce.
And then you say brunette would be unacceptable? That means if you meet a brunette and you had a friendship and she was the one you wouldn't go further??

James only goes for dumb blondes. He's picky like that.

This. I just prefer blonde women. I know that stereotyping based on hair color is idiotic, but I find blonde women not only more attractive, but usually kinder and having a better attitude. Regardless, I guess I'm saying that while arranged marriage may have its perks, leaving one of the biggest decisions in your entire life to the hands of someone else seems unhealthy. While I think family should play a bigger part in relationships and marriages than they do, arranged marriage seems a little over the top.
Hair has nothing to do with personality. This is just like way back when, they said red heads had no hearts because red was fire and they were "connected" to the Devil. Ya, so this makes your point invalid. If you start looking for exacts, you are never getting married.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: hecma925 on November 19, 2014, 05:56:53 PM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
Who said I'm signing a prenup?

Ask your parents' attorney.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: biro on November 19, 2014, 06:01:35 PM
My advice, whatever it's worth, is at this age to take it easy. Go somewhere fun with your friend and your parents. It may sound awkward, but it can help. I was chaperoned to the movies and bowling quite a few times, when I was Charbel's age. Don't even worry about something more serious until later. Just a thought.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 19, 2014, 06:23:03 PM
My advice, whatever it's worth, is at this age to take it easy. Go somewhere fun with your friend and your parents. It may sound awkward, but it can help. I was chaperoned to the movies and bowling quite a few times, when I was Charbel's age. Don't even worry about something more serious until later. Just a thought.

+1
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 08:48:39 PM
My advice, whatever it's worth, is at this age to take it easy. Go somewhere fun with your friend and your parents. It may sound awkward, but it can help. I was chaperoned to the movies and bowling quite a few times, when I was Charbel's age. Don't even worry about something more serious until later. Just a thought.
My name is Kaleab lol. But, I have never been chaperoned  :police: :police:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 08:49:36 PM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
Who said I'm signing a prenup?

Ask your parents' attorney.
I don't need to if I am going to be a lawyer when I grow up. I am not asking my wife to sign one and I will not sign one, love should be love w/o money in between.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 19, 2014, 08:58:34 PM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
Who said I'm signing a prenup?

Ask your parents' attorney.
I don't need to if I am going to be a lawyer when I grow up. I am not asking my wife to sign one and I will not sign one, love should be love w/o money in between.

Word to the wise then. If you aren't going to get a prenup, don't flash money around your dates. Money tends to attract golddiggers like rotting carcasses attract flies.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 09:09:38 PM
My advice, whatever it's worth, is at this age to take it easy. Go somewhere fun with your friend and your parents. It may sound awkward, but it can help. I was chaperoned to the movies and bowling quite a few times, when I was Charbel's age. Don't even worry about something more serious until later. Just a thought.

That is extraordinarily awkward, but it depends on the context. What exactly do you mean by chaperoning? If you mean having their parents literally watching their back as they go on their date, then yeah, that is very weird. However, if you mean implicit chaperoning as in inviting your date to a family function or family event, that could work. For one, chaperoning is accomplished without being tacky and embarrassing, and it gives you an opportunity to learn about each other's families. Of course, you'd have to get over the unyielding fear of your parents embarrassing you in front of your date, but that goes away with time.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Theophania on November 19, 2014, 09:11:01 PM
Quote
Women are at a big disadvantage living with a man without the benefit of marriage. The guy can string things along for so long she starts to lose her options, and then if he dumps her, she has no legal recourse.

Getting married is a huge disadvantage for men given that women get all of the advantages and can take half or more of your stuff along with alimony should they divorce you. The courts in the United States are incredibly biased in favor of the woman (just ask Isa). And combined with the fact that our culture encourages women to divorce and that women are more likely to initiate divorce, one could see why it's such a risky proposition for men.

"Shacking up" is probably the best thing for men to do today since if things go South, there's no losing their stuff and having their lives permanently ruined. If it harms women, well, that's their own fault for becoming dependent upon a lousy man who wasn't even her husband. Adults are supposed to be prudent. And at least there was no formal agreement in "shacking up" as there is in marriage, so technically the male is doing nothing wrong if he drops that woman like a sack of potatoes for a new one.

As for abortion, men should just get vasectomies and be smart. Pressuring your prostitute into an abortion is an incredibly stupid and immoral thing. Similarly, women should take precautions as well by birth control or tying their tubes. But alas, far too many women still fall for the maybe-if-I-have-his-baby trick that just gets them screwed in the end. If he didn't love you enough to marry you he isn't going to love you enough to stay just because you have a bun in the oven.
Who said I'm signing a prenup?

Ask your parents' attorney.
I don't need to if I am going to be a lawyer when I grow up. I am not asking my wife to sign one and I will not sign one, love should be love w/o money in between.

Word to the wise then. If you aren't going to get a prenup, don't flash money around your dates. Money tends to attract golddiggers like rotting carcasses attract flies.

Yeah but as long as they're not brunettes, who cares!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 19, 2014, 09:20:40 PM
Word to the wise then. If you aren't going to get a prenup, don't flash money around your dates. Money tends to attract golddiggers like rotting carcasses attract flies.

Yeah but as long as they're not brunettes, who cares!

I'll take the brunettes!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 09:21:59 PM
Word to the wise then. If you aren't going to get a prenup, don't flash money around your dates. Money tends to attract golddiggers like rotting carcasses attract flies.

Yeah but as long as they're not brunettes, who cares!

I'll take the brunettes!
Really tho! :)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 19, 2014, 09:29:00 PM
(http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/58/587b2db08489765486b8f09d4142f7fce1de323b86a23a2f318536ec25e5cb18.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Theophania on November 19, 2014, 09:30:29 PM
(http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/58/587b2db08489765486b8f09d4142f7fce1de323b86a23a2f318536ec25e5cb18.jpg)

That looks way too much like a young Mor.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 19, 2014, 09:48:50 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Theophania on November 19, 2014, 09:49:45 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)

Compared to whom?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 09:49:51 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 19, 2014, 09:51:01 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D

I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 19, 2014, 09:57:18 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D

I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 19, 2014, 10:04:31 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on November 19, 2014, 10:07:31 PM
Word to the wise then. If you aren't going to get a prenup, don't flash money around your dates. Money tends to attract golddiggers like rotting carcasses attract flies.

Yeah but as long as they're not brunettes, who cares!

I don't. Blondes are cute and deserve all the money I can give them  :angel: I may come off as misogynistic on here, but I really do like women that are blonde, nice, and hospitable. While this prenup thing may be over the top, money is probably something important to consider when it comes to marriage. A large portion of divorces are rooted in economic reasons. My advice: find a partner with the same economic philosophy as you. For me, that's saving and penny-pinching as much as possible so that I can retire when I'm 40.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: biro on November 19, 2014, 10:14:22 PM
Who gets married in ninth grade?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Hawkeye on November 19, 2014, 10:15:16 PM
Who gets married in ninth grade?

I know some people...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: LBK on November 19, 2014, 10:15:42 PM
Quote
so that I can retire when I'm 40.

Good luck.  ::)

How do you plan on achieving this, even if you remain single?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 19, 2014, 10:18:05 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D

I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.
I'll be 35 next week and I am the more content with my life now than I ever was before. I'm sure everyone's experience is different though.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Didyma on November 19, 2014, 10:22:55 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Theophania on November 19, 2014, 10:24:19 PM
Who gets married in ninth grade?

One of my college professors married at 14 and her husband was 15. They had been married for fifty years by the time I met her. But teens were more mature then.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Didyma on November 19, 2014, 10:26:56 PM
Who gets married in ninth grade?

One of my college professors married at 14 and her husband was 15. They had been married for fifty years by the time I met her. But teens were more mature then.

I suppose that's true.  But I wasn't alive then.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 20, 2014, 12:24:27 AM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)

Bless your heart!  I wish my beard believed you...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: ZealousZeal on November 20, 2014, 12:30:36 AM
I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me. 

What?! Did I fall asleep and wake up in the year 1327 or something?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: DeniseDenise on November 20, 2014, 01:04:36 AM
I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me. 

What?! Did I fall asleep and wake up in the year 1327 or something?


Well....Orthodoxy is the WayBackMachine of Churches....
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 20, 2014, 06:34:17 AM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D

I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.
I'll be 35 next week and I am the more content with my life now than I ever was before. I'm sure everyone's experience is different though.
I think she meant she could do more things physically and she didn't age but with a content life she likes now better for sure.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on November 20, 2014, 07:54:10 AM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[

Age doesn't bring wisdom in itself, nor does it cure self-centeredness. Your professor sounds like a lot of sour grapes, nothing more, nothing less.

Turning 30 was the best thing that had happened to me up to then, precisely because of the pervading ageism of modern culture. Once you're considered (by the loud ones, at least) 'over the hill', societal pressure eases up a whole deal. Turning 40 was more of the same, with a side of perception shift. I feel a lot less guilty for looking after myself instead of doing what others want me to now.

Basically, adult life is about balancing time and money, and the older you get, the more you get to appreciate the former over the latter. ;)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 09:26:19 AM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Hamartolos on November 20, 2014, 09:53:02 AM
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

When I was a teenager 30 did seemed old.  I'm going to be 27 in December and now I do not think its old! One thing I will tell you is that a lot is going to change for you between now and when you turn 30.  In any case, I think I'll be more content by my 30s than I have been in my 20s.  In the modern world, people in their 20s tend to act like they're in their semi-adults even though they are full fledged adults.  

The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.

It seems like a lot of people haven't ever worked.  People in their 20s. I recently started graduate school and some of my colleagues are 22-23 and have never had an interview.  I'm not putting them down, it just surprised me.  
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Didyma on November 20, 2014, 11:11:04 AM
Oh no, that professor works.  He's a professor, remember?  He also has a few kids.  That seemed to be the root of a lot of stress for him.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 12:11:03 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.

LOL @ implication academia is not a real job. I suppose you think the only work professors do is the 6-9 hours of lectures each week during the semester? That's fine; it's a common misapprehension.

Also, you don't know what jobs this guy has actually had in his life.

Anyway, it sounds like he's just a cranky old man. I've gotten similar remarks from people with non-academic jobs: "oh you young 'uns don't know how good you have it, etc etc". It's certainly true that a lot of people experience shock transitioning from student to work life, but that says more about their lackadaisical attitudes to their studies. All the successful students I've met, especially the ones who go on to academia, treat their studies like a job.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 12:41:14 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.

LOL @ implication academia is not a real job. I suppose you think the only work professors do is the 6-9 hours of lectures each week during the semester? That's fine; it's a common misapprehension.

Also, you don't know what jobs this guy has actually had in his life.

Anyway, it sounds like he's just a cranky old man. I've gotten similar remarks from people with non-academic jobs: "oh you young 'uns don't know how good you have it, etc etc". It's certainly true that a lot of people experience shock transitioning from student to work life, but that says more about their lackadaisical attitudes to their studies. All the successful students I've met, especially the ones who go on to academia, treat their studies like a job.
Nope, usually, they don't even do that. They have TAs or adjuncts for that. Most of what they do write books and papers to get funding so they can write more books and papers.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 01:08:40 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.

LOL @ implication academia is not a real job. I suppose you think the only work professors do is the 6-9 hours of lectures each week during the semester? That's fine; it's a common misapprehension.

Also, you don't know what jobs this guy has actually had in his life.

Anyway, it sounds like he's just a cranky old man. I've gotten similar remarks from people with non-academic jobs: "oh you young 'uns don't know how good you have it, etc etc". It's certainly true that a lot of people experience shock transitioning from student to work life, but that says more about their lackadaisical attitudes to their studies. All the successful students I've met, especially the ones who go on to academia, treat their studies like a job.
Nope, usually, they don't even do that. They have TAs or adjuncts for that. Most of what they do write books and papers to get funding so they can write more books and papers.

And I suppose writing books and papers doesn't count as work? Have you ever written a book or an academic paper?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on November 20, 2014, 01:16:20 PM
I am just gonna assume that Professors that specialize in the field of Behavioral Economics are the exception to this rule that a professor's life is Hell........
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 01:49:50 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.

LOL @ implication academia is not a real job. I suppose you think the only work professors do is the 6-9 hours of lectures each week during the semester? That's fine; it's a common misapprehension.

Also, you don't know what jobs this guy has actually had in his life.

Anyway, it sounds like he's just a cranky old man. I've gotten similar remarks from people with non-academic jobs: "oh you young 'uns don't know how good you have it, etc etc". It's certainly true that a lot of people experience shock transitioning from student to work life, but that says more about their lackadaisical attitudes to their studies. All the successful students I've met, especially the ones who go on to academia, treat their studies like a job.
Nope, usually, they don't even do that. They have TAs or adjuncts for that. Most of what they do write books and papers to get funding so they can write more books and papers.

And I suppose writing books and papers doesn't count as work? Have you ever written a book or an academic paper?
Nope, and they probably have not ever done what I do for a living. But I don't sit around writing papers and complaining about how life is such hell. If writing papers is such hell, go out and get another job. Surely that can be done with your advanced degree in the mating rituals of skunks or whatever it is in.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on November 20, 2014, 02:20:20 PM

And I suppose writing books and papers doesn't count as work? Have you ever written a book or an academic paper?

It depends. There are academic books ranging from ones that blame straight white men for everything bad that happened since the dinosaurs were extinct to 900+ page books on macroeconomics.

Generally, it would be far nicer to write academic papers and books than work a blue collar job or something like that.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: biro on November 20, 2014, 02:22:58 PM
I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me. 

What?! Did I fall asleep and wake up in the year 1327 or something?

It's OC.net, so, yes.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:37:45 PM

And I suppose writing books and papers doesn't count as work? Have you ever written a book or an academic paper?

It depends. There are academic books ranging from ones that blame straight white men for everything bad that happened since the dinosaurs were extinct to 900+ page books on macroeconomics.

Generally, it would be far nicer to write academic papers and books than work a blue collar job or something like that.

I think you're confusing "good" with "difficult". I don't think cultural anthropologists who construct elaborate jargon-laden theories on structural oppression and why straight white males are responsible for all the world's evil haven't worked hard. The problem lies more in the politicized and anti-scientific nature of their field, which diverts scholars' intellectual energies into policing their own arguments for ideological correctness, rather than putting forth and testing bold hypotheses.

For someone who loves academic learning, I'm sure being a professor would be vastly preferable to being a construction worker. For someone who hates books, I'm not so sure.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:40:09 PM

That looks way too much like a young Mor.

Mor IS young.  :P ;)
And you are old.  :o :P ;) ;D
I know I am. I've never made a secret of it.
Good to know lolol. I will forever wonder until I get there what it feels like to be 30+. If it's better or worse? My mother said its worse  :laugh: I think it's all based on opinion.

30 is NOT old. You have MUCH to learn.  :P ;)

I think it kind of is.  If you're older than your twenties, you're on the young end of the old person spectrum to me.  As for life getting better or worse, according to one of my professors, as soon as you get out of school, your life basically becomes Hell.  Judging by how hard you have to work playing the game of college to get a decent job, I'd tend to think he's probably right.  Like many adults, he seemed to take a perverse joy out of telling me the fact. :D :-[
The last person I would consider taking life advice from is some dude in an ivory tower whose never actually worked a real job. Life takes work. That doesn't make it hell. Old people like to just tell the young whippersnappers how good they have it because they are jealous that the young whippersnappers have about 30 more years of life to live than they do.

LOL @ implication academia is not a real job. I suppose you think the only work professors do is the 6-9 hours of lectures each week during the semester? That's fine; it's a common misapprehension.

Also, you don't know what jobs this guy has actually had in his life.

Anyway, it sounds like he's just a cranky old man. I've gotten similar remarks from people with non-academic jobs: "oh you young 'uns don't know how good you have it, etc etc". It's certainly true that a lot of people experience shock transitioning from student to work life, but that says more about their lackadaisical attitudes to their studies. All the successful students I've met, especially the ones who go on to academia, treat their studies like a job.
Nope, usually, they don't even do that. They have TAs or adjuncts for that. Most of what they do write books and papers to get funding so they can write more books and papers.

And I suppose writing books and papers doesn't count as work? Have you ever written a book or an academic paper?
Nope, and they probably have not ever done what I do for a living. But I don't sit around writing papers and complaining about how life is such hell. If writing papers is such hell, go out and get another job. Surely that can be done with your advanced degree in the mating rituals of skunks or whatever it is in.

Can we agree that it's a good idea for one to keep silent about what one clearly knows nothing about?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 03:42:15 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:43:29 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 03:45:43 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
How would I know? I only responded because your previous comment seemed to be a moment of internal reflection.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:47:34 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
How would I know? I only responded because your previous comment seemed to be a moment of internal reflection.

If it were internal reflection, I would have used the first person pronoun.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 03:48:27 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
How would I know? I only responded because your previous comment seemed to be a moment of internal reflection.

If it were internal reflection, I would have used the first person pronoun.
See? Now your internal reflection has prompted better grammar on your part. It is helping already!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:49:01 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
How would I know? I only responded because your previous comment seemed to be a moment of internal reflection.

If it were internal reflection, I would have used the first person pronoun.
See? Now your internal reflection has prompted better grammar on your part. It is helping already!

What are you talking about?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 03:50:41 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
How would I know? I only responded because your previous comment seemed to be a moment of internal reflection.

If it were internal reflection, I would have used the first person pronoun.
See? Now your internal reflection has prompted better grammar on your part. It is helping already!

What are you talking about?
You lost track already?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:54:20 PM
No one has forced you to continue talking...

Have I been talking about something I know nothing about?
How would I know? I only responded because your previous comment seemed to be a moment of internal reflection.

If it were internal reflection, I would have used the first person pronoun.
See? Now your internal reflection has prompted better grammar on your part. It is helping already!

What are you talking about?
You lost track already?

Your statement presupposed that I was using bad grammar. I don't know where I was doing that. Of course, it's possible that you were just making it up, in the same way you made up the idea that academics don't do real work, that the professor was taking some personal dig at your job, that the professor was dissatisfied with his own job, or basically just any statement you've made in the last couple of pages.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 03:58:24 PM
lol, It sounds like someone got their panties in a bunch over a oft played jab at our institutions of higher learning. I apologize if it hit too close to home.  :P
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Jonathan Gress on November 20, 2014, 03:59:36 PM
lol, It sounds like someone got their panties in a bunch over a oft played jab at our institutions of higher learning. I apologize if it hit too close to home.  :P

LOL it sounds like someone was caught spouting complete BS and is too afraid to own up to it.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 04:03:30 PM
lol, It sounds like someone got their panties in a bunch over a oft played jab at our institutions of higher learning. I apologize if it hit too close to home.  :P

LOL it sounds like someone was caught spouting complete BS and is too afraid to own up to it.
Well, when that someone summons the courage to admit his BS spouting, he can PM his apology to me. I won't gloat.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on November 20, 2014, 04:08:53 PM
lol, It sounds like someone got their panties in a bunch over a oft played jab at our institutions of higher learning. I apologize if it hit too close to home.  :P

LOL it sounds like someone was caught spouting complete BS and is too afraid to own up to it.
Well, when that someone summons the courage to admit his BS spouting, he can PM his apology to me. I won't gloat.

(http://31.media.tumblr.com/ae1fc194cfad9fe1a2324529f43777b3/tumblr_mu3x4vC19r1szgkgbo1_500.gif)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on November 20, 2014, 04:09:48 PM
I so hope I am the spotted one!  :P
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on November 21, 2014, 10:33:13 AM
I so hope I am the spotted one!  :P
Are you?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Antonious Nikolas on November 27, 2014, 03:52:06 PM
I so hope I am the spotted one!  :P

I thought you were the one riding the flaming unicorn?  ???
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:13:41 PM
Hey Guys! I am back  ;D
So we were talking about religion today as a group and Orthodoxy came up. I had questions about fornicification and all that but someone asked what the Orthodox Church said on the topic of "experimenting with both genders" so experimenting with the same and other. I had a blank space moment and I was like, "Uhh.......". And now to you people.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kAlEaB
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 12, 2014, 04:18:09 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:19:26 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 12, 2014, 04:22:05 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:23:41 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 12, 2014, 04:29:15 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:31:35 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 12, 2014, 04:33:02 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:35:29 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on December 12, 2014, 04:36:14 PM
Hey Guys! I am back  ;D
So we were talking about religion today as a group and Orthodoxy came up. I had questions about fornicification and all that but someone asked what the Orthodox Church said on the topic of "experimenting with both genders" so experimenting with the same and other. I had a blank space moment and I was like, "Uhh.......". And now to you people.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kAlEaB
I think probably the easiest way to answer this is: don't engage in any physical activity outside of marriage with anyone that you would not want your mother to see.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 12, 2014, 04:37:39 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\

You know it's called oral sex, don't you? And why would you want to do any of those with someone you don't intend to have sex with?

Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:37:42 PM
Hey Guys! I am back  ;D
So we were talking about religion today as a group and Orthodoxy came up. I had questions about fornicification and all that but someone asked what the Orthodox Church said on the topic of "experimenting with both genders" so experimenting with the same and other. I had a blank space moment and I was like, "Uhh.......". And now to you people.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kAlEaB
I think probably the easiest way to answer this is: don't engage in any physical activity outside of marriage with anyone that you would not want your mother to see.
Oh... so do all those acts I named above count as fornification?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:38:34 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\

You know it's called oral sex, don't you? And why would you want to do any of those with someone you don't intend to have sex with?

Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?
Thats what I thought. And sorry my language switches to slangy stuff when talking about this lol. I mean if its not sex I thought it was fine.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 12, 2014, 04:41:42 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\

You know it's called oral sex, don't you? And why would you want to do any of those with someone you don't intend to have sex with?

Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?
Thats what I thought. And sorry my language switches to slangy stuff when talking about this lol. I mean if its not sex I thought it was fine.

Masturbation, solo or mutual, is sex. Oral or digital stimulation is sex. Whatever is done to get off is sex. Don't they teach you anything in biology class any more?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on December 12, 2014, 04:42:53 PM
Hey Guys! I am back  ;D
So we were talking about religion today as a group and Orthodoxy came up. I had questions about fornicification and all that but someone asked what the Orthodox Church said on the topic of "experimenting with both genders" so experimenting with the same and other. I had a blank space moment and I was like, "Uhh.......". And now to you people.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kAlEaB
I think probably the easiest way to answer this is: don't engage in any physical activity outside of marriage with anyone that you would not want your mother to see.
Oh... so do all those acts I named above count as fornification?
Yes, everything you listed would count as fornication and they would all be sins that would need to be confessed to your priest before partaking of the Eucharist.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:43:22 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\

You know it's called oral sex, don't you? And why would you want to do any of those with someone you don't intend to have sex with?

Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?
Thats what I thought. And sorry my language switches to slangy stuff when talking about this lol. I mean if its not sex I thought it was fine.

Masturbation, solo or mutual, is sex. Oral or digital stimulation is sex. Whatever is done to get off is sex. Don't they teach you anything in biology class any more?
In 9th grade biology is next year.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on December 12, 2014, 04:44:58 PM
In 8th grade, I was still worrying about swapping baseball cards, not genitals. I guess things have changed.  :-[
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on December 12, 2014, 04:46:29 PM
In 8th grade, I was still worrying about swapping baseball cards, not genitals. I guess things have changed.  :-[
That was like 4th grade
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Cyrillic on December 12, 2014, 04:50:35 PM
In 8th grade, I was still worrying about swapping baseball cards, not genitals. I guess things have changed.  :-[

Your memory, probably. Altered by the times.

This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\

I'd stick to that one if I were you. Eating proper food, that is; not that which you were probably thinking about.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Mor Ephrem on December 12, 2014, 09:36:33 PM
Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?

To be fair to the little guy, I knew girls in college who had this exact belief.  It allowed them to engage in all sorts of behaviours while fancying themselves "good Catholic girls" and "virgins" who were "saving themselves" until "marriage". 
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 13, 2014, 08:37:53 AM
Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?

To be fair to the little guy, I knew girls in college who had this exact belief.  It allowed them to engage in all sorts of behaviours while fancying themselves "good Catholic girls" and "virgins" who were "saving themselves" until "marriage". 

Good Catholic girls learn early on that what is really important is preserving their proof of virginity. ::)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on December 13, 2014, 05:37:44 PM
Masturbation, solo or mutual, is sex. Oral or digital stimulation is sex. Whatever is done to get off is sex. Don't they teach you anything in biology class any more?

I was under the impression that any contact, clothed or unclothed, involving our genitals was sex although heavy foreplay and other things like making out, necking, massaging, and stuff were okay provided there was no genital contact.

I think you might be taking this a little too far. Are you really going to say that anything that "gets us off" is sex? Even if you hug a person and get an erection that somehow translates to sex?
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: JamesR on December 13, 2014, 05:39:41 PM
Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?

To be fair to the little guy, I knew girls in college who had this exact belief.  It allowed them to engage in all sorts of behaviours while fancying themselves "good Catholic girls" and "virgins" who were "saving themselves" until "marriage". 

Well I'm 18 and I still held/hold this belief to some extent.

There goes my master plan of making-out until I orgasm...

I think I'm just going to avoid any and all physical contact from now on, just to be safe. In reality, this may be good advice for the lad: anything that feels good is a sin. Fortunately I've never gone farther than hugging.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: TheTrisagion on December 13, 2014, 05:44:05 PM
Masturbation, solo or mutual, is sex. Oral or digital stimulation is sex. Whatever is done to get off is sex. Don't they teach you anything in biology class any more?

I was under the impression that any contact, clothed or unclothed, involving our genitals was sex although heavy foreplay and other things like making out, necking, massaging, and stuff were okay provided there was no genital contact.

I think you might be taking this a little too far. Are you really going to say that anything that "gets us off" is sex? Even if you hug a person and get an erection that somehow translates to sex?
I think we probably have a very different definition of "getting off" if hugging does that.  Unless, of course, you have a major PE problem.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: RobS on December 13, 2014, 06:37:05 PM
I don't know about you, but if someone considered me their 'experiment' in whatever, I'd feel insulted.
I hope you know what I mean. Both do have to consent to this.

Lab rats with consent forms. ::)

Even though it can be very hard to remember it sometimes, even 14-year-olds are people. They are not experiments, nor means to an end. What is there to experiment about? If you like someone, see about being with them. If you don't, leave well alone.
Experimenting in younger terms means doing sexual things with the same/or opposite gender.

I know what it means. And you should know already that doing sexual things is for married people.
WAIT...I thought that was only sex.

What sexual things that are not sex did you have in mind?
This is so weird to talk about to an adult. But I meant...
1.Handjobs
2.Blowjobs
3.Fingering
4.Eating
Etc..etc  :-X :P :o :-\

You know it's called oral sex, don't you? And why would you want to do any of those with someone you don't intend to have sex with?

Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?
Thats what I thought. And sorry my language switches to slangy stuff when talking about this lol. I mean if its not sex I thought it was fine.

Masturbation, solo or mutual, is sex. Oral or digital stimulation is sex. Whatever is done to get off is sex. Don't they teach you anything in biology class any more?
Now I know the reason you do laundry, so you can get off while sitting on the dryer.

IT'S A SIN!
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 13, 2014, 06:43:07 PM
Masturbation, solo or mutual, is sex. Oral or digital stimulation is sex. Whatever is done to get off is sex. Don't they teach you anything in biology class any more?

I was under the impression that any contact, clothed or unclothed, involving our genitals was sex although heavy foreplay and other things like making out, necking, massaging, and stuff were okay provided there was no genital contact.

I think you might be taking this a little too far. Are you really going to say that anything that "gets us off" is sex? Even if you hug a person and get an erection that somehow translates to sex?

If you get an orgasm through hugging, not even side-hugs can save you. :laugh:
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: RobS on December 13, 2014, 06:43:57 PM
Did you really think that, as long as tab A doesn't go into slot B, all's cool?

To be fair to the little guy, I knew girls in college who had this exact belief.  It allowed them to engage in all sorts of behaviours while fancying themselves "good Catholic girls" and "virgins" who were "saving themselves" until "marriage".  

Well I'm 18 and I still held/hold this belief to some extent.

There goes my master plan of making-out until I orgasm...

I think I'm just going to avoid any and all physical contact from now on, just to be safe. In reality, this may be good advice for the lad: anything that feels good is a sin. Fortunately I've never gone farther than hugging.
Never take seriously the advice of those that have sexual dysfunctions and pathologies.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 13, 2014, 06:44:20 PM
Now I know the reason you do laundry, so you can get off while sitting on the dryer.

IT'S A SIN!

See now what guys miss for not doing their own laundry? ;D
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on December 13, 2014, 07:38:23 PM
Everyone's all debating whether or not touching each other, poking each other or blowing each other is sin.

And here I'm having truckloads of worries about my facial appearance and being delusional, hoping to at least look like some of the popular male(and some female) celeb idols out there. Primarily of course, so that I don't have to concede unattractiveness as being the cause of me never having a girlfriend at all throughout the years :'(
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Arachne on December 13, 2014, 07:46:15 PM
Everyone's all debating whether or not touching each other, poking each other or blowing each other is sin.

And here I'm having truckloads of worries about my facial appearance and being delusional, hoping to at least look like some of the popular male(and some female) celeb idols out there. Primarily of course, so that I don't have to concede unattractiveness as being the cause of me never having a girlfriend at all throughout the years :'(

Photoshop. >_>
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: sakura95 on December 13, 2014, 08:08:42 PM
Everyone's all debating whether or not touching each other, poking each other or blowing each other is sin.

And here I'm having truckloads of worries about my facial appearance and being delusional, hoping to at least look like some of the popular male(and some female) celeb idols out there. Primarily of course, so that I don't have to concede unattractiveness as being the cause of me never having a girlfriend at all throughout the years :'(

Photoshop. >_>

It's actually even better that way since anyone that have their likeness would look even better than them.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: charbelkaleab on March 20, 2015, 05:58:56 PM
As long as a I don't spend more than $700 a week my mom is fine.

Not on credit, I hope.
She pays it off.

Please tell me you do chores around the house.  Please tell me you at least mow the lawn once a week and take out the trash every day, in addition to doing other things to help your parents.

Mowing the lawn? I'm sure his parents have Guatemalans for that.
OMG AHAHAH. I was going back into old threads I created. This one I did not see the 1st time! It's funny bc/ all the workers are from Guatemala in Long Cove. Omg. But, we are moving out its too expensive to keep up with.
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: NicholasMyra on March 21, 2015, 12:22:40 AM
(http://bristolbadfilmclub.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/trolls.jpg)
Title: Re: Girlfriends in 9th grade
Post by: Stavro on March 21, 2015, 09:55:13 AM
(http://bristolbadfilmclub.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/trolls.jpg)

Nice selfie.